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"Pro-active Ambulance Runs Cancelled"

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Tue 08/07/03 at 13:39
Regular
Posts: 787
For the first time in a long time, Tony Blair got something right today, by saying three small words; “I was wrong.”

In an astonishing U-turn, the MP has admitted that his ‘pro-active ambulance plan’ was a mistake from the very start, and even went on to say that it could have cost more lives than it has saved.

The controversial scheme, which started in May, had a number of ambulances driving at high speeds across Britain’s most dangerous roads, in order to be in a position close to accidents when they occurred. However, a number of these ambulances were reported to be driving too fast, causing other motorists to take dangerous evasive action.

The scheme was not without its supporters though. Mr Kevin Darwin of Rickmansworth believes the scheme saved his life. “Last month a car swerved into my car, and I was forced off of the road. Thankfully there was an ambulance right there at the time, and they put me right immediately.” Reports that it was the ambulance that caused the car to swerve were laughed off by Mr Darwin as “daft as a brush, or even two brushes!!1!”

With the pro-active ambulance scheme coming to a close, funds will be released to start a pro-active fire scheme. As yet there is no word of having anything similar for the police service though, with the Government thought to be happy with them remaining behind desks for the majority of their day.

In other transport news London congestion could soon be eased by a revolutionary new ‘Bumper Car Super Highway’. The fairground favourites are to be adapted to be powered from beneath, and will run anywhere in ‘Zone 1’. This area will be completely closed to standard cars, with the bumper cars being left around the edges for anybody to take for just two tokens. Tokens can be purchased from the kiosks staffed by elderly women in various locations on the perimeter of the area, and can also be used on the Millennium Eye, and the new Underground Ghost Train network. 90’s anthem “I’ve Got The Power” will be played on heavy rotation on all services.
Tue 08/07/03 at 13:48
Regular
"Excommunicated"
Posts: 23,284
i laf
Tue 08/07/03 at 13:47
Regular
"Subliminal messenge"
Posts: 1,039
wow. Those are the first true words he's ever said. I bet his grin isn't so big now, eh....
Tue 08/07/03 at 13:42
Regular
"Plate of glue"
Posts: 5,183
He was wrong! Tony Blair was wrong!
Tue 08/07/03 at 13:39
Regular
"not dead"
Posts: 11,145
For the first time in a long time, Tony Blair got something right today, by saying three small words; “I was wrong.”

In an astonishing U-turn, the MP has admitted that his ‘pro-active ambulance plan’ was a mistake from the very start, and even went on to say that it could have cost more lives than it has saved.

The controversial scheme, which started in May, had a number of ambulances driving at high speeds across Britain’s most dangerous roads, in order to be in a position close to accidents when they occurred. However, a number of these ambulances were reported to be driving too fast, causing other motorists to take dangerous evasive action.

The scheme was not without its supporters though. Mr Kevin Darwin of Rickmansworth believes the scheme saved his life. “Last month a car swerved into my car, and I was forced off of the road. Thankfully there was an ambulance right there at the time, and they put me right immediately.” Reports that it was the ambulance that caused the car to swerve were laughed off by Mr Darwin as “daft as a brush, or even two brushes!!1!”

With the pro-active ambulance scheme coming to a close, funds will be released to start a pro-active fire scheme. As yet there is no word of having anything similar for the police service though, with the Government thought to be happy with them remaining behind desks for the majority of their day.

In other transport news London congestion could soon be eased by a revolutionary new ‘Bumper Car Super Highway’. The fairground favourites are to be adapted to be powered from beneath, and will run anywhere in ‘Zone 1’. This area will be completely closed to standard cars, with the bumper cars being left around the edges for anybody to take for just two tokens. Tokens can be purchased from the kiosks staffed by elderly women in various locations on the perimeter of the area, and can also be used on the Millennium Eye, and the new Underground Ghost Train network. 90’s anthem “I’ve Got The Power” will be played on heavy rotation on all services.

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