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"Some people need a lesson in how to speak. Oh, and to be less stupid."

So I'm on the internet a few hours ago, minding my own business. Not trying to talk to anyone, not doing anything illegal. A box comes up telling me that someone is trying to send me an instant message. I don't recognize the name, but I figure that no one would just try to talk to someone they don't know, and that it must be someone I already know under a different name (I know one person in particular who changes their name often).

So I accept the IM, and when the message comes up I realise I don't know them, so I just ignore it. They start calling me "farty" and stuff, so I decided to tell them to give up and go away. I've had these IM's before with people insisting I'm someone called Taylor, and when I say I'm not they say "o taylor ur such a looser" or some other rubbish. Anyway, it turned out to be quite funny. I'm sure at least some of you will appreciate the humour in this transcript of the events that transpired.

I'm Small but loud, the idiot is the other person. There are a few bits before this that I didn't get, basically her saying "hey", and me not saying anything. The other person has an annoying background colour and italics on ALL THE TIME. It's a bit disjointed, as these things usually are. Here it is:


lndz9867 [21:28]: fine be that wasy u loser
lndz9867 [21:29]: poopy
lndz9867 [21:29]: poopy
Small but loud [21:29]: If you want to talk to someone you don't know, it might be a good idea to talk properly. E.g. "you", not "u", and don't type in italics all the time.
lndz9867 [21:29]: poopy
Small but loud [21:30]: I don't know you, I don't want to know you.
Small but loud [21:30]: Go away.
lndz9867 [21:30]: why do u care
lndz9867 [21:30]: fine farty
Small but loud [21:30]: And use question marks where appropriate.
Small but loud [21:30]: Better insults might be a good bet as well.
lndz9867 [21:30]: what ru an english teacher
Small but loud [21:30]: Bloody hell use question marks you ignoramus.
lndz9867 [21:31]: i was being sarcastic it wasn't a question it was a commment
Small but loud [21:31]: Sarcasm or no, it was a question, and it deserves a question mark.
Small but loud [21:32]: And it is "I", not "i".
lndz9867 [21:32]: why does it matter ?
Small but loud [21:32]: Because that is how you signal a question.
Small but loud [21:33]: Hence the name "question mark"; it marks a question.
lndz9867 [21:33]: but why are u so srong about punctuation
lndz9867 [21:33]: u have no ther life?
lndz9867 [21:33]: *other*
Small but loud [21:34]: Yes, I have a life. It just has good punctuation.
Small but loud [21:34]: And sentences start with capital letters.
lndz9867 [21:34]: and u sound dull and boring
Small but loud [21:34]: You sound mightily stupid.
lndz9867 [21:34]: is mightily even a word genious?
Small but loud [21:34]: *You ARE mightily stupid.
lndz9867 [21:35]: do u read th edictionary for fun?
lndz9867 [21:35]: *dictionary?
Small but loud [21:35]: Yes it is [a word]. "Genious" is not.
Small but loud [21:35]: The word is spelled "Genius".
lndz9867 [21:35]: whatever
Small but loud [21:36]: If you're going to try and call me up on incorrect spelling, punctuation or grammar, at least have the decency to get it right yourself.
lndz9867 [21:36]: what are u British?
Small but loud [21:36]: And what significance is that?
lndz9867 [21:36]: nevrmind ur not smart enough to understand
Small but loud [21:37]: It's obviously the same language we're speaking. Well, maybe not that obvious...
Small but loud [21:37]: That's a laugh coming from you.
lndz9867 [21:37]: ur so funny in a sarcastic annoying kind od way
lndz9867 [21:37]: *of8
Small but loud [21:37]: Someone who cannot spell the simplest words correctly, and cannot understand the basic functioning of grammar.
lndz9867 [21:38]: You know what I can speak and talk and type correctly so why don't you just back off Shakespeare!
Small but loud [21:38]: It's interesting that I'm funny in an annoying way, because you're extremely annoying in a funny way.
Small but loud [21:38]: You can't, it's patently obvious.
lndz9867 [21:39]: i bet u have no friends huh?
Small but loud [21:39]: I don't mind if you want to speak this way to your little cheerleader friends, but if you want to speak to me (or anyone you speak to without once speaking to them before) then have the common decency to use correct grammar.
lndz9867 [21:40]: shut up
Small but loud [21:40]: I'd rather have no friends than have you as one. No offence.
lndz9867 [21:40]: u kno when ppl say no offense it doesn't make them feel any better
Small but loud [21:41]: I know. That's why I said it.
lndz9867 [21:42]: u kno i may not be as smart as u but at least i have social skills and not to mention an actual life that doesn't involve reading the dictionary on the weekedns
Small but loud [21:43]: Contrary to your current beliefs, you don't have to read the dictionary "on the weekends" to be able to use correct grammar, spelling etc. And neither does being able to use these things make you socially inept.
lndz9867 [21:44]: ok whatever buddy, but if you just said that to anyone publically u would be a social outcast
Small but loud [21:45]: Don't pretend you know the meaning of the word "inept".
lndz9867 [21:45]: hey i'm proud of it
Small but loud [21:45]: Then you're even more of an idiot.
lndz9867 [21:45]: i don't really care whta u think cuz how many friends do u have not counting ur cat?
Small but loud [21:46]: I don't make a habit of counting my friends, nor do I measure my life by the number of friends I have.
lndz9867 [21:47]: i'm just saying if u have at least one good friend then u have had a good life
lndz9867 [21:47]: but not counting ur mom and and ur pets then u have like what urself?
Small but loud [21:47]: What does it matter to you?
Small but loud [21:47]: I thought you didn't care.
lndz9867 [21:47]: why do u gotta get all defense o yea cuz u kno i'm right
Small but loud [21:48]: You're right? You asked a question.
lndz9867 [21:49]: that makes no sense
Small but loud [21:50]: Don't assume that because you don't understand it, that it cannot make any sense.
lndz9867 [21:50]: i wasnt assuming butthead
Small but loud [21:50]: Yes you were.
lndz9867 [21:51]: i wasn't assuming i was making a statement
Small but loud [21:51]: You assumed that what I said made no sense.
Small but loud [21:51]: However it did make sense.
Small but loud [21:52]: It was your previous statement that made no sense.
lndz9867 [21:52]: whatever einstein
Small but loud [21:52]: And I pointed it out.
Small but loud [21:52]: Is that the best you can do?
Small but loud [21:53]: Sadly I have to go before you learn to use the language correctly.
Small but loud [21:53]: So sorry


These people pass me off royally. They don't even have the basic grasp of language and grammar that I had at three years old, and they think they're in the same ball park. This person actually thought they could win an argument with me by saying "whatever einstein!!!!!!111111111111 lol i made a funnie".

But what really annoys me is not the fact that these people exist (although don't get me wrong, I really, REALLY hate that this is true), but that they feel the need to contaminate others with their vile stench. This person I had never heard of before. How they even started talking to me I don't know. Maybe they just made up a name and typed it in, although I doubt this person is capable of creative thought.

This is scum of the highest degree, or at least upper bracket detritus. As soon as we're able to live on Mars I say we go there and leave these people to survive on this polluted planet. Well, I say survive, the whole point is that they wouldn't. And we'd never have to speak to them again. And Mars wouldn't have an internet connection, so no contact at all.

If you made it this far, go and have a drink. You're probably dehydrated. Then come back and tell me how much you agree, or how much you disagree if this person is you.

Heh, I may have seemed good in this but let's just consider who I was talking to - some who could quite feasibly be the American Jade Goody (or even the English one, she doesn't what she's talking about half the time).

As far as Blair goes, I don't think he really needs a good interviewer to make himself look foolish. It does seem like a really good job though, if I could ever do it. I doubt I could.

Blank,
You should interview Tony Blair, (like Jeremy Paxman) you would wipe the floor with him, if you know anything about politics and happen to not like him...

lol, now that just rocked.

i've gotta hand it tom ya blank, you're so witty i could just crap.

but i wont, so there. i apologise to any who actually WANTED to see me do that.

ok,
Maybe i'm just a complete ni.mrod then

Tosspost seems quite apt on an internet forum.

Skorp1on wrote:
> oh, sorry, lol. By the way I am mr. no shoes. I just don't feel like
> being a complete tosspost anymore. Anyway you kinda destroyed my clan,
> so i'll vote for you, if you want (^:

I mean tosspot. Thats me!

oh, sorry, lol. By the way I am mr. no shoes. I just don't feel like being a complete tosspost anymore. Anyway you kinda destroyed my clan, so i'll vote for you, if you want (^:

Oh yeah, being regular lets you vote in the election, I forgot about that. Basically all you do is say "I vote for..." in the right thrad when the time comes. But the next one isn't until August, so don't strain yourself.

Notables don't have any benefits other than a new name colour, and people tend to look at them in a slightly different way. People pay more attention to them.

Anyway, this is a little off topic.

Ok thx.
My friend bet me a fiver he could get to regular before me (Mr. No eyes), but he was only on here for 1 day. (I can just see the £'s rolling in now...) Not looking forward to the camp colour though. Also, does a noteable have any privelidges and how do you get voted one or vote for someone else. I'd probably vote for you (^:

I think it's a certain number of posts, plus a certain number of words, plus a cetain number of days.

When I was a newbie it took me ages to fulfill the post requirement, don't worry about it. It's no big deal being a regular, all you get is a camper name colour.