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I woke up. It was 6:00 in the morning. I dragged myself wierly out of bed and got ready for work. I lived in a semi-detached house, the house next to me had been abanded. I got on my old bycicle, and made myself to work. That day one of my colleugus said that tommorrow she was going to have her 50th birthday and was going to have a party with all her friends and family. She asked if I wanted to come and I said yes. At the end of work, i took my bycicle and headed to my new home. It was 6:00 PM. I sat down by the crackling fire, holding a large brandy glass, filled to the top with the finest brandy. I sipped it while reading my favourite, 'The Lod Of The Flies.' I opened the book and started reading, I was indulged by the book, when suddenly I heard a noise. It was coming from next door. I put my glass down and listened intently. I heard a loud thump. I shook in fear and the hairs on the back of my spine shivered. I sat down, wondering if I should have called the police. But I thought to myself, no. I decided to discover what was going on myself. I took my black coat and walked outside, into the cold, frosty night. I knocked on the door. There was no reply, I knocked again. There was still no reply. I opened the door, it creaked open. Inside, there was a big corridor and a stair way going up. I clambered up the stairs, breathing heavily as I stepped on the old stairs. When i got to the landing a horrific sight caught my eyes. There was a trial of thick blood. The blood seeped into the other room in the landing. Feeling very scared now i stepped inside
I clasped my mouth in horror, it was my colleuge. She lay dead, on the bed. I moved forward. I suddenly sensed somebody behind me. I wheeled round. A man in a black robe with a coat stepped towards me, carrying a knife covered with blood. He lunged towards me. I felt a sharp pain in my left arm, he had cut me. He struck me again. I suddenly found the energy to retaliate. I lunged towards him and took off his black hood. The man had the same face as me. I stepped back, horrified. I then charged at him and took his knife and stabbed the man. He fell to the and his body vanished, leaving only a pile of dust. I stumbled down the stairs, still carrying the knife in my hand, which was now covered in blood. I heard sirens outside. I walked outside. There were four police cars and ten police men, with pistols clasped in their hands. I then realised I was carrying a knife, covered with blood. I heard a gun shot, and I felt a hsarp pain in my stomach. I looked down, blood trickled down. I then heard another gun shot and I felt another pain. I slumpt to the ground.....
Sorry about the mistakes. I had to use notepad because Word wasn't working.
I clasped my mouth in horror, it was my colleuge. She lay dead, on the bed. I moved forward. I suddenly sensed somebody behind me. I wheeled round. A man in a black robe with a coat stepped towards me, carrying a knife covered with blood. He lunged towards me. I felt a sharp pain in my left arm, he had cut me. He struck me again. I suddenly found the energy to retaliate. I lunged towards him and took off his black hood. The man had the same face as me. I stepped back, horrified. I then charged at him and took his knife and stabbed the man. He fell to the and his body vanished, leaving only a pile of dust. I stumbled down the stairs, still carrying the knife in my hand, which was now covered in blood. I heard sirens outside. I walked outside. There were four police cars and ten police men, with pistols clasped in their hands. I then realised I was carrying a knife, covered with blood. I heard a gun shot, and I felt a hsarp pain in my stomach. I looked down, blood trickled down. I then heard another gun shot and I felt another pain. I slumpt to the ground.....
Sorry about the mistakes. I had to use notepad because Word wasn't working.
also try not to switch between third and first person (which i don't think you did, but just as a tip), Eg. first person is:
'I' woke up, 'I' went downstairs
Third person is:
'He' woke up, 'He' went downstairs
'I' woke up, 'I' went downstairs
Third person is:
'He' woke up, 'He' went downstairs
The best way to be a good author is to get ideas from others, without copying them, which is for obvious reasons wrong. You should look at how they describe objects and people and try to get ideas, without copying the actual text or a direct, individual idea.
Mr. No shoes
Mr. No shoes
Thanks dude.
Good story,
try describing the area around you more to make it sound more spooky, and as If there is no way out...
Im already Shi**ing myself...
try describing the area around you more to make it sound more spooky, and as If there is no way out...
Im already Shi**ing myself...
Twas a nice theme and you'll get more ideas eventually :)
Wasn't bad dude but you slipped between tenses a little, you swayed from 3rd and 1st person and got tangled up with whether you were writing in the present or past.
The spelling mistakes made it akward to read but is wasn't a bad story, except it lacked a motive or explaination.
The spelling mistakes made it akward to read but is wasn't a bad story, except it lacked a motive or explaination.
Murdur
Hahahahaha
Don't breed.
Hahahahaha
Don't breed.
I woke up. It was 6:00 in the morning. I dragged myself wierly out of bed and got ready for work. I lived in a semi-detached house, the house next to me had been abanded. I got on my old bycicle, and made myself to work. That day one of my colleugus said that tommorrow she was going to have her 50th birthday and was going to have a party with all her friends and family. She asked if I wanted to come and I said yes. At the end of work, i took my bycicle and headed to my new home. It was 6:00 PM. I sat down by the crackling fire, holding a large brandy glass, filled to the top with the finest brandy. I sipped it while reading my favourite, 'The Lod Of The Flies.' I opened the book and started reading, I was indulged by the book, when suddenly I heard a noise. It was coming from next door. I put my glass down and listened intently. I heard a loud thump. I shook in fear and the hairs on the back of my spine shivered. I sat down, wondering if I should have called the police. But I thought to myself, no. I decided to discover what was going on myself. I took my black coat and walked outside, into the cold, frosty night. I knocked on the door. There was no reply, I knocked again. There was still no reply. I opened the door, it creaked open. Inside, there was a big corridor and a stair way going up. I clambered up the stairs, breathing heavily as I stepped on the old stairs. When i got to the landing a horrific sight caught my eyes. There was a trial of thick blood. The blood seeped into the other room in the landing. Feeling very scared now i stepped inside
I clasped my mouth in horror, it was my colleuge. She lay dead, on the bed. I moved forward. I suddenly sensed somebody behind me. I wheeled round. A man in a black robe with a coat stepped towards me, carrying a knife covered with blood. He lunged towards me. I felt a sharp pain in my left arm, he had cut me. He struck me again. I suddenly found the energy to retaliate. I lunged towards him and took off his black hood. The man had the same face as me. I stepped back, horrified. I then charged at him and took his knife and stabbed the man. He fell to the and his body vanished, leaving only a pile of dust. I stumbled down the stairs, still carrying the knife in my hand, which was now covered in blood. I heard sirens outside. I walked outside. There were four police cars and ten police men, with pistols clasped in their hands. I then realised I was carrying a knife, covered with blood. I heard a gun shot, and I felt a hsarp pain in my stomach. I looked down, blood trickled down. I then heard another gun shot and I felt another pain. I slumpt to the ground.....
Sorry about the mistakes. I had to use notepad because Word wasn't working.
I clasped my mouth in horror, it was my colleuge. She lay dead, on the bed. I moved forward. I suddenly sensed somebody behind me. I wheeled round. A man in a black robe with a coat stepped towards me, carrying a knife covered with blood. He lunged towards me. I felt a sharp pain in my left arm, he had cut me. He struck me again. I suddenly found the energy to retaliate. I lunged towards him and took off his black hood. The man had the same face as me. I stepped back, horrified. I then charged at him and took his knife and stabbed the man. He fell to the and his body vanished, leaving only a pile of dust. I stumbled down the stairs, still carrying the knife in my hand, which was now covered in blood. I heard sirens outside. I walked outside. There were four police cars and ten police men, with pistols clasped in their hands. I then realised I was carrying a knife, covered with blood. I heard a gun shot, and I felt a hsarp pain in my stomach. I looked down, blood trickled down. I then heard another gun shot and I felt another pain. I slumpt to the ground.....
Sorry about the mistakes. I had to use notepad because Word wasn't working.