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Gerald logged onto him computer as he had done every night for as long as he could remember. He was about to click onto Outlook Express to check him emails but was halted when a pop-up advert caught his eye. “X-date.com – ‘A place to meet new people’ click here”. Gerald had been single for quite some years and had never tried dating since the love of his life broke his heart at the tender age of eighteen. However he was lonely, he lived alone in his sparsely furnished apartment and often longed for female company.
Gerald clicked onto the advert and entered his details into the X-date database with a photograph of himself and a description of the sort of women he would like to meet. Being something of a stereotypical man, he expressed that he sought a long-legged blonde between 18 and 30. Gerald logged off for the night and retired to the settee to watch a movie.
The next evening Gerald came home to his apartment, half expecting to have no replies but hoping deep down inside that he did. He logged onto his X-date account and found he had two replies. He clicked on the first to find a message from a 53year old swinging grandmother that looked like a shrivelled Anne Robinson. Somewhat saddened he clicked onto the second reply and was gob smacked at what he saw. A photograph of a beautiful blonde woman in a skimpy black dress, the message beneath it simply said, “Meet me.”
For a moment, Gerald sat there wondering what a gorgeous woman would be interested in him for. He came to the conclusion that she must be into older men and that he didn’t look so bad for thirty-five anyway. Gerald clicked reply and sent a message asking, “When and where?” He left his computer for a moment to use the bathroom and returned a few minutes later to find a reply waiting for him. It said, “Metropolis Hotel, 9:30, room 36”. Gerald glanced at his gold-rimmed Rolex and saw that it was 8:05 already and he didn’t have much time to prepare. He turned off his computer and dashed to the bathroom to get a shower.
By 9:15 Gerald had washed, shaved, put on a smart suit and was heading for his car. He checked his hair in the wing mirror and climbed into his metallic blue BMW. Gerald pulled up outside the swanky Metropolis hotel at 9:30 on the dot; he handed the car over to the valet and made his way inside through the heavy silver doors. Inside the velvet-carpeted reception area Gerald looked around for a while then headed for the elevators. He reached floor 3 and walked down the brightly lit corridor until he spotted “36” in gold plated letters on a sturdy wooden door.
Gerald stepped back and straightened his suit and nervously rubbed the back of his neck before proceeding to knock three times on the door. A few seconds later the door was pulled open to reveal the same sexy blonde woman Gerald had seen on his computer monitor earlier that evening. She seductively spoke, “Come inside, Gerald.” He stepped inside the posh hotel room and closed the door firmly behind him. “Can I get you anything to drink?” was the next thing she said. Gerald answered, “I’ll have a whiskey, please. If it’s no trouble.” A moment later the beautiful woman emerged clutching two small glasses, each containing a cube of ice smothered by an inch of Jack Daniels.
The two downed their drinks and made small talk until the beautiful woman suddenly started slipping off her dark satin dress. Gerald stared at the woman’s large breasts held tightly against her chest by a silky black brassiere. She spoke in her soft, seductive voice, “I am just going to freshen up”. Upon that she paced over to the bathroom and tightly shut the door behind her.
Gerald couldn’t believe his luck, not only had he met a beautiful woman but he was about to have sex with her. He undressed to his pants and lay on the large double bed in the centre of the hotel room. The bathroom door opened and the beautiful woman emerged looking sexier than ever. She kneeled on the end of the bed and began kissing Gerald’s stomach; she worked her way up to his chest and then onto his neck. Gerald laid back with his eyes closed, enjoying every second of it until he felt a deep, sharp pain in his throat. He opened his eyes wide to find the beautiful woman biting deep into his neck, blood spewing from her mouth and trickling down her chin.
He screamed and pushed her off the bed onto the floor and backed into the corner of the room. She rose again and leapt at Gerald, scratching him with her claw-like fingernails and forcing him to cower in the corner. She grabbed him forcefully around the head and plunged her slender thumbs deep into his eye sockets until Gerald went limp. She dragged Gerald’s body across the room to the walk-in closet where she dumped him on top of two other men, both in their thirties, wearing suits, and dead.
The beautiful woman closed the closet door tightly and perched in front of her dressing table where her laptop computer was waiting. She turned it on and logged onto X-date.com.
Gerald clicked onto the advert and entered his details into the X-date database with a photograph of himself and a description of the sort of women he would like to meet. Being something of a stereotypical man, he expressed that he sought a long-legged blonde between 18 and 30. Gerald logged off for the night and retired to the settee to watch a movie.
The next evening Gerald came home to his apartment, half expecting to have no replies but hoping deep down inside that he did. He logged onto his X-date account and found he had two replies. He clicked on the first to find a message from a 53year old swinging grandmother that looked like a shrivelled Anne Robinson. Somewhat saddened he clicked onto the second reply and was gob smacked at what he saw. A photograph of a beautiful blonde woman in a skimpy black dress, the message beneath it simply said, “Meet me.”
For a moment, Gerald sat there wondering what a gorgeous woman would be interested in him for. He came to the conclusion that she must be into older men and that he didn’t look so bad for thirty-five anyway. Gerald clicked reply and sent a message asking, “When and where?” He left his computer for a moment to use the bathroom and returned a few minutes later to find a reply waiting for him. It said, “Metropolis Hotel, 9:30, room 36”. Gerald glanced at his gold-rimmed Rolex and saw that it was 8:05 already and he didn’t have much time to prepare. He turned off his computer and dashed to the bathroom to get a shower.
By 9:15 Gerald had washed, shaved, put on a smart suit and was heading for his car. He checked his hair in the wing mirror and climbed into his metallic blue BMW. Gerald pulled up outside the swanky Metropolis hotel at 9:30 on the dot; he handed the car over to the valet and made his way inside through the heavy silver doors. Inside the velvet-carpeted reception area Gerald looked around for a while then headed for the elevators. He reached floor 3 and walked down the brightly lit corridor until he spotted “36” in gold plated letters on a sturdy wooden door.
Gerald stepped back and straightened his suit and nervously rubbed the back of his neck before proceeding to knock three times on the door. A few seconds later the door was pulled open to reveal the same sexy blonde woman Gerald had seen on his computer monitor earlier that evening. She seductively spoke, “Come inside, Gerald.” He stepped inside the posh hotel room and closed the door firmly behind him. “Can I get you anything to drink?” was the next thing she said. Gerald answered, “I’ll have a whiskey, please. If it’s no trouble.” A moment later the beautiful woman emerged clutching two small glasses, each containing a cube of ice smothered by an inch of Jack Daniels.
The two downed their drinks and made small talk until the beautiful woman suddenly started slipping off her dark satin dress. Gerald stared at the woman’s large breasts held tightly against her chest by a silky black brassiere. She spoke in her soft, seductive voice, “I am just going to freshen up”. Upon that she paced over to the bathroom and tightly shut the door behind her.
Gerald couldn’t believe his luck, not only had he met a beautiful woman but he was about to have sex with her. He undressed to his pants and lay on the large double bed in the centre of the hotel room. The bathroom door opened and the beautiful woman emerged looking sexier than ever. She kneeled on the end of the bed and began kissing Gerald’s stomach; she worked her way up to his chest and then onto his neck. Gerald laid back with his eyes closed, enjoying every second of it until he felt a deep, sharp pain in his throat. He opened his eyes wide to find the beautiful woman biting deep into his neck, blood spewing from her mouth and trickling down her chin.
He screamed and pushed her off the bed onto the floor and backed into the corner of the room. She rose again and leapt at Gerald, scratching him with her claw-like fingernails and forcing him to cower in the corner. She grabbed him forcefully around the head and plunged her slender thumbs deep into his eye sockets until Gerald went limp. She dragged Gerald’s body across the room to the walk-in closet where she dumped him on top of two other men, both in their thirties, wearing suits, and dead.
The beautiful woman closed the closet door tightly and perched in front of her dressing table where her laptop computer was waiting. She turned it on and logged onto X-date.com.
Page:
FinalFantasyFanatic - That alternate ending you wrote was very good. I knew how I wanted the story to go but was not quite sure how I wanted it to end. I was thing thing of the following possible outcomes:
- She kills him, the story makes it evident she has killed before and will kill again. (the one I chose)
- He kills her in defence and has to live with the guilt of it
- He kills her and gets caught and arrested
- It wasn't the beautiful woman in the hotel room, it was a random psycho killer.
I decided to go for the first one because it allowed me to keep the story short but was still effective.
- She kills him, the story makes it evident she has killed before and will kill again. (the one I chose)
- He kills her in defence and has to live with the guilt of it
- He kills her and gets caught and arrested
- It wasn't the beautiful woman in the hotel room, it was a random psycho killer.
I decided to go for the first one because it allowed me to keep the story short but was still effective.
Thanks everyone for the nice comments
Dark tale. Cool, I like it. :)
Leprechaun wrote:
> Gerald logged onto him computer as he had done every night for as
> long as he could remember. He was about to click onto Outlook Express
> to check him emails but was halted when a pop-up advert caught his
> eye. “X-date.com – ‘A place to meet new people’ click here”. Gerald
> had been single for quite some years and had never tried dating since
> the love of his life broke his heart at the tender age of eighteen.
> However he was lonely, he lived alone in his sparsely furnished
> apartment and often longed for female company.
>
> Gerald clicked onto the advert and entered his details into the X-date
> database with a photograph of himself and a description of the sort of
> women he would like to meet. Being something of a stereotypical man,
> he expressed that he sought a long-legged blonde between 18 and 30.
> Gerald logged off for the night and retired to the settee to watch a
> movie.
>
> The next evening Gerald came home to his apartment, half expecting to
> have no replies but hoping deep down inside that he did. He logged
> onto his X-date account and found he had two replies. He clicked on
> the first to find a message from a 53year old swinging grandmother
> that looked like a shrivelled Anne Robinson. Somewhat saddened he
> clicked onto the second reply and was gob smacked at what he saw. A
> photograph of a beautiful blonde woman in a skimpy black dress, the
> message beneath it simply said, “Meet me.”
>
> For a moment, Gerald sat there wondering what a gorgeous woman would
> be interested in him for. He came to the conclusion that she must be
> into older men and that he didn’t look so bad for thirty-five anyway.
> Gerald clicked reply and sent a message asking, “When and where?” He
> left his computer for a moment to use the bathroom and returned a few
> minutes later to find a reply waiting for him. It said, “Metropolis
> Hotel, 9:30, room 36”. Gerald glanced at his gold-rimmed Rolex and saw
> that it was 8:05 already and he didn’t have much time to prepare. He
> turned off his computer and dashed to the bathroom to get a shower.
>
> By 9:15 Gerald had washed, shaved, put on a smart suit and was heading
> for his car. He checked his hair in the wing mirror and climbed into
> his metallic blue BMW. Gerald pulled up outside the swanky Metropolis
> hotel at 9:30 on the dot; he handed the car over to the valet and made
> his way inside through the heavy silver doors. Inside the
> velvet-carpeted reception area Gerald looked around for a while then
> headed for the elevators. He reached floor 3 and walked down the
> brightly lit corridor until he spotted “36” in gold plated letters on
> a sturdy wooden door.
>
> Gerald stepped back and straightened his suit and nervously rubbed the
> back of his neck before proceeding to knock three times on the door. A
> few seconds later the door was pulled open to reveal the same sexy
> blonde woman Gerald had seen on his computer monitor earlier that
> evening. She seductively spoke, “Come inside, Gerald.” He stepped
> inside the posh hotel room and closed the door firmly behind him. “Can
> I get you anything to drink?” was the next thing she said. Gerald
> answered, “I’ll have a whiskey, please. If it’s no trouble.” A moment
> later the beautiful woman emerged clutching two small glasses, each
> containing a cube of ice smothered by an inch of Jack Daniels.
>
> The two downed their drinks and made small talk until the beautiful
> woman suddenly started slipping off her dark satin dress. Gerald
> stared at the woman’s large breasts held tightly against her chest by
> a silky black brassiere. She spoke in her soft, seductive voice, “I am
> just going to freshen up”. Upon that she paced over to the bathroom
> and tightly shut the door behind her.
>
> Gerald couldn’t believe his luck, not only had he met a beautiful
> woman but he was about to have sex with her. He undressed to his pants
> and lay on the large double bed in the centre of the hotel room. The
> bathroom door opened and the beautiful woman emerged looking sexier
> than ever. She kneeled on the end of the bed and began kissing
> Gerald’s stomach; she worked her way up to his chest and then onto his
> neck. Gerald laid back with his eyes closed, enjoying every second of
> it until he felt a deep, sharp pain in his throat. He opened his eyes
> wide to find the beautiful woman biting deep into his neck, blood
> spewing from her mouth and trickling down her chin.
>
> He screamed and pushed her off the bed onto the floor and backed into
> the corner of the room. She rose again and leapt at Gerald, scratching
> him with her claw-like fingernails and forcing him to cower in the
> corner. She grabbed him forcefully around the head and plunged her
> slender thumbs deep into his eye sockets until Gerald went limp. She
> dragged Gerald’s body across the room to the walk-in closet where she
> dumped him on top of two other men, both in their thirties, wearing
> suits, and dead.
>
> The beautiful woman closed the closet door tightly and perched in
> front of her dressing table where her laptop computer was waiting. She
> turned it on and logged onto X-date.com.
me likey this story
> Gerald logged onto him computer as he had done every night for as
> long as he could remember. He was about to click onto Outlook Express
> to check him emails but was halted when a pop-up advert caught his
> eye. “X-date.com – ‘A place to meet new people’ click here”. Gerald
> had been single for quite some years and had never tried dating since
> the love of his life broke his heart at the tender age of eighteen.
> However he was lonely, he lived alone in his sparsely furnished
> apartment and often longed for female company.
>
> Gerald clicked onto the advert and entered his details into the X-date
> database with a photograph of himself and a description of the sort of
> women he would like to meet. Being something of a stereotypical man,
> he expressed that he sought a long-legged blonde between 18 and 30.
> Gerald logged off for the night and retired to the settee to watch a
> movie.
>
> The next evening Gerald came home to his apartment, half expecting to
> have no replies but hoping deep down inside that he did. He logged
> onto his X-date account and found he had two replies. He clicked on
> the first to find a message from a 53year old swinging grandmother
> that looked like a shrivelled Anne Robinson. Somewhat saddened he
> clicked onto the second reply and was gob smacked at what he saw. A
> photograph of a beautiful blonde woman in a skimpy black dress, the
> message beneath it simply said, “Meet me.”
>
> For a moment, Gerald sat there wondering what a gorgeous woman would
> be interested in him for. He came to the conclusion that she must be
> into older men and that he didn’t look so bad for thirty-five anyway.
> Gerald clicked reply and sent a message asking, “When and where?” He
> left his computer for a moment to use the bathroom and returned a few
> minutes later to find a reply waiting for him. It said, “Metropolis
> Hotel, 9:30, room 36”. Gerald glanced at his gold-rimmed Rolex and saw
> that it was 8:05 already and he didn’t have much time to prepare. He
> turned off his computer and dashed to the bathroom to get a shower.
>
> By 9:15 Gerald had washed, shaved, put on a smart suit and was heading
> for his car. He checked his hair in the wing mirror and climbed into
> his metallic blue BMW. Gerald pulled up outside the swanky Metropolis
> hotel at 9:30 on the dot; he handed the car over to the valet and made
> his way inside through the heavy silver doors. Inside the
> velvet-carpeted reception area Gerald looked around for a while then
> headed for the elevators. He reached floor 3 and walked down the
> brightly lit corridor until he spotted “36” in gold plated letters on
> a sturdy wooden door.
>
> Gerald stepped back and straightened his suit and nervously rubbed the
> back of his neck before proceeding to knock three times on the door. A
> few seconds later the door was pulled open to reveal the same sexy
> blonde woman Gerald had seen on his computer monitor earlier that
> evening. She seductively spoke, “Come inside, Gerald.” He stepped
> inside the posh hotel room and closed the door firmly behind him. “Can
> I get you anything to drink?” was the next thing she said. Gerald
> answered, “I’ll have a whiskey, please. If it’s no trouble.” A moment
> later the beautiful woman emerged clutching two small glasses, each
> containing a cube of ice smothered by an inch of Jack Daniels.
>
> The two downed their drinks and made small talk until the beautiful
> woman suddenly started slipping off her dark satin dress. Gerald
> stared at the woman’s large breasts held tightly against her chest by
> a silky black brassiere. She spoke in her soft, seductive voice, “I am
> just going to freshen up”. Upon that she paced over to the bathroom
> and tightly shut the door behind her.
>
> Gerald couldn’t believe his luck, not only had he met a beautiful
> woman but he was about to have sex with her. He undressed to his pants
> and lay on the large double bed in the centre of the hotel room. The
> bathroom door opened and the beautiful woman emerged looking sexier
> than ever. She kneeled on the end of the bed and began kissing
> Gerald’s stomach; she worked her way up to his chest and then onto his
> neck. Gerald laid back with his eyes closed, enjoying every second of
> it until he felt a deep, sharp pain in his throat. He opened his eyes
> wide to find the beautiful woman biting deep into his neck, blood
> spewing from her mouth and trickling down her chin.
>
> He screamed and pushed her off the bed onto the floor and backed into
> the corner of the room. She rose again and leapt at Gerald, scratching
> him with her claw-like fingernails and forcing him to cower in the
> corner. She grabbed him forcefully around the head and plunged her
> slender thumbs deep into his eye sockets until Gerald went limp. She
> dragged Gerald’s body across the room to the walk-in closet where she
> dumped him on top of two other men, both in their thirties, wearing
> suits, and dead.
>
> The beautiful woman closed the closet door tightly and perched in
> front of her dressing table where her laptop computer was waiting. She
> turned it on and logged onto X-date.com.
me likey this story
Leprechaun wrote:
She grabbed him forcefully around the head and plunged her
> slender thumbs deep into his eye sockets ...
He reeled with the pain and his mind thought one thing : She's going to kill me. His arms acted on their own and shot up to her eyes, feeling the soft tissue under his thumbs amid the agony of his being compressed he pushed with all his might. The pressure on his eyes eased off and a shrill but weak scream echoed in his mind.
His vision with blurred and swirling still eyeballs pounding with pain, and took minutes to refocus. When they did bile rose in his throat.
The woman lay dead at his feet, eyes squased deep into her skull, blood pooling on the rich cream carpet.
He panicked. This kind of thing happened in stories, not real life.
But no one had seen him come in. He'd gone straight up. He could easily get away.
These thoughts only filled his mind - how to get away with it. What he's actually done was pushed mentally away in disgust.
He dragged the still warm and bleeding body to the cupboard, he could store it there and leave without a sound. The door slid open and he was greeted by a familiar sight.
Compressed eyes stared blindly at him from the faces of 30-somthing business men, a near duplicate of himself. He was almost hyperventilation now, adrenaline pouring through his system.
Who was this woman?
Why did she do this?
He could not afford to find answers, instead threw the limp, beautiful body in with the others.
A knock at the door.
"Madam?" Came the voice, "Is there a problem?"
He looked down at himself.
Deep scratches of a struggle riddled his body, only HER blood covered him. He knew exactly what it looked like.
His head pounded harder with the pain she had given him.
A knock on the door.
A jangle of keys.
****
A flash of inpiration.
Sorry if I stepped on any toes.
*Creeps away*
She grabbed him forcefully around the head and plunged her
> slender thumbs deep into his eye sockets ...
He reeled with the pain and his mind thought one thing : She's going to kill me. His arms acted on their own and shot up to her eyes, feeling the soft tissue under his thumbs amid the agony of his being compressed he pushed with all his might. The pressure on his eyes eased off and a shrill but weak scream echoed in his mind.
His vision with blurred and swirling still eyeballs pounding with pain, and took minutes to refocus. When they did bile rose in his throat.
The woman lay dead at his feet, eyes squased deep into her skull, blood pooling on the rich cream carpet.
He panicked. This kind of thing happened in stories, not real life.
But no one had seen him come in. He'd gone straight up. He could easily get away.
These thoughts only filled his mind - how to get away with it. What he's actually done was pushed mentally away in disgust.
He dragged the still warm and bleeding body to the cupboard, he could store it there and leave without a sound. The door slid open and he was greeted by a familiar sight.
Compressed eyes stared blindly at him from the faces of 30-somthing business men, a near duplicate of himself. He was almost hyperventilation now, adrenaline pouring through his system.
Who was this woman?
Why did she do this?
He could not afford to find answers, instead threw the limp, beautiful body in with the others.
A knock at the door.
"Madam?" Came the voice, "Is there a problem?"
He looked down at himself.
Deep scratches of a struggle riddled his body, only HER blood covered him. He knew exactly what it looked like.
His head pounded harder with the pain she had given him.
A knock on the door.
A jangle of keys.
****
A flash of inpiration.
Sorry if I stepped on any toes.
*Creeps away*
I predicted the ending but still well written
As always I expected a twist but I didn't see that one coming. Well written too. I guess she was just plain and simple crazy. An enjoyable read.
Good, but a tad predictable. I know how short stories work, no-one lives happily ever after.
Was she a vampire, or just crazy?
Thank you all very much :-D
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