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I was just watching on Dave a "recent" episode of top gear where they race to blackpool and i came up with this joke:
How many top gear presenters does it take to flick a light switch?:
two, becasue james may will almost certainly get lost!
anyone know any other jokes
How many top gear presenters does it take to flick a light switch?:
two, becasue james may will almost certainly get lost!
anyone know any other jokes
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Whats the difference between inlaws and outlaws......
What did the vampire say to the workman when he had finished the job?
What's black and white and eats like a horse!?
....
A zebra.
....
A zebra.
A nun, a priest, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a rabbi, a blonde and yo mumma walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and asks, "Is this some kind of joke?"
The bartender looks at them and asks, "Is this some kind of joke?"
nick - Do u know English?
kelly - yes .
nick - then tell me what we can say "NAAGPANCHAMI " in english?
kelly - very simple..
snack do not panch me........................ hi hi
Web Design oxfordshire
kelly - yes .
nick - then tell me what we can say "NAAGPANCHAMI " in english?
kelly - very simple..
snack do not panch me........................ hi hi
Web Design oxfordshire
Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A: With a blue elephant gun.
Q: How do you shoot a yellow elephant?
A: Have you ever seen a yellow elephant?
Q: How do you shoot a red elephant?
A: Hold his trunk shut until he turns blue, and then shoot him with the blue elephant gun.
A: With a blue elephant gun.
Q: How do you shoot a yellow elephant?
A: Have you ever seen a yellow elephant?
Q: How do you shoot a red elephant?
A: Hold his trunk shut until he turns blue, and then shoot him with the blue elephant gun.
A shady-looking guy sticks his head into a barbershop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looks around the shop and says, "About two hours." The guy smiles and leaves.
The barber looks over at a friend in the shop and says, "Hey, Bill, follow that guy and see where he goes." In a little while, Bill comes back into the shop.
"Bill, where did he go when he left here?"
"To your house."
The barber looks around the shop and says, "About two hours." The guy smiles and leaves.
The barber looks over at a friend in the shop and says, "Hey, Bill, follow that guy and see where he goes." In a little while, Bill comes back into the shop.
"Bill, where did he go when he left here?"
"To your house."
ButchML wrote:
> A joke for those that paid attention in Chemistry:
>
> A man goes into a pub walks up to the bar and says
>
> "I'll have a pint of adenosine triphosphate please"
>
> "certainly, sir" says the barman "that'll be
> 80p"
Took me a few moments to work that one out, but thats is a cracker!
> A joke for those that paid attention in Chemistry:
>
> A man goes into a pub walks up to the bar and says
>
> "I'll have a pint of adenosine triphosphate please"
>
> "certainly, sir" says the barman "that'll be
> 80p"
Took me a few moments to work that one out, but thats is a cracker!
One of my favourite old jokes:
Two men are stuck in the desert with no food or water, they're just about to give up when they see a market.
Stumbling in to the market they ask the first store if they have water.
"No sir, we only have Jelly" comes the reply.
They stumble on to the second store and ask again.
"Sorry sir, we only have custard" the store owner replies.
Finally they reach the third store and ask there.
"No water, we just have fruit."
Taking the fruit they stumble off into the desert again. One turns to the other and says
"Don't you think that was a bit odd?"
"Yes." replies the other "it was a trifle bazaar".
Two men are stuck in the desert with no food or water, they're just about to give up when they see a market.
Stumbling in to the market they ask the first store if they have water.
"No sir, we only have Jelly" comes the reply.
They stumble on to the second store and ask again.
"Sorry sir, we only have custard" the store owner replies.
Finally they reach the third store and ask there.
"No water, we just have fruit."
Taking the fruit they stumble off into the desert again. One turns to the other and says
"Don't you think that was a bit odd?"
"Yes." replies the other "it was a trifle bazaar".
A joke for those that paid attention in Chemistry:
A man goes into a pub walks up to the bar and says
"I'll have a pint of adenosine triphosphate please"
"certainly, sir" says the barman "that'll be 80p"
A man goes into a pub walks up to the bar and says
"I'll have a pint of adenosine triphosphate please"
"certainly, sir" says the barman "that'll be 80p"
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