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One day, in a town not all that far from here, a man named Bill was complaining to his friend about how much his elbow was hurting. His friend, (a local drug store manager), told him about this new medical wonder-computer that he had recently purchased for the store, and suggested that he pop in and give it a go.
He was told:
"simply put in a sample of your urine, the computer will then diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs £5."
Bill thought it was a wonderful idea, cheaper then a doctor, and he wouldn’t have to negotiate the long waiting periods. So, he went home, filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the £5. The computer started making some whirring noises and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks."
Well, Bill was amazed. Later that evening whilst thinking about just how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together a little tap water, a stool sample from his German Sheppard and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he visited lady palm and her five daughters of passion and added it to the concoction. The next day he went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the £5. The computer made the usual whirring noise and printed out the following message:
"Your tap water is too hard; get a water softener. Your dog has worms; get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine; put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls; they aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."
He was told:
"simply put in a sample of your urine, the computer will then diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs £5."
Bill thought it was a wonderful idea, cheaper then a doctor, and he wouldn’t have to negotiate the long waiting periods. So, he went home, filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the £5. The computer started making some whirring noises and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks."
Well, Bill was amazed. Later that evening whilst thinking about just how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together a little tap water, a stool sample from his German Sheppard and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he visited lady palm and her five daughters of passion and added it to the concoction. The next day he went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the £5. The computer made the usual whirring noise and printed out the following message:
"Your tap water is too hard; get a water softener. Your dog has worms; get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine; put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls; they aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."
"lady palm and her five daughters of passion" - hee. Funny little story there :)
One day, in a town not all that far from here, a man named Bill was complaining to his friend about how much his elbow was hurting. His friend, (a local drug store manager), told him about this new medical wonder-computer that he had recently purchased for the store, and suggested that he pop in and give it a go.
He was told:
"simply put in a sample of your urine, the computer will then diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs £5."
Bill thought it was a wonderful idea, cheaper then a doctor, and he wouldn’t have to negotiate the long waiting periods. So, he went home, filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the £5. The computer started making some whirring noises and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks."
Well, Bill was amazed. Later that evening whilst thinking about just how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together a little tap water, a stool sample from his German Sheppard and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he visited lady palm and her five daughters of passion and added it to the concoction. The next day he went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the £5. The computer made the usual whirring noise and printed out the following message:
"Your tap water is too hard; get a water softener. Your dog has worms; get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine; put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls; they aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."
He was told:
"simply put in a sample of your urine, the computer will then diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs £5."
Bill thought it was a wonderful idea, cheaper then a doctor, and he wouldn’t have to negotiate the long waiting periods. So, he went home, filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the £5. The computer started making some whirring noises and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks."
Well, Bill was amazed. Later that evening whilst thinking about just how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together a little tap water, a stool sample from his German Sheppard and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he visited lady palm and her five daughters of passion and added it to the concoction. The next day he went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the £5. The computer made the usual whirring noise and printed out the following message:
"Your tap water is too hard; get a water softener. Your dog has worms; get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine; put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls; they aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."