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Had a rather unsettling thing today, but let me digress.
The sixth form I went to was only a small one, about 25 people in total so of course we all knew each other well and got on well. When Sixth form ended most of us went to Universities all over the country and we rarely see each other now, still see some of the old gang but most of them aren't around anymore. People lose touch, move away, live away, get jobs e.t.c.
Today, I saw someone I used to know because she was in all the same classes as me in Sixth form, we were only friends but good ones as we'd been to the same schools since infants.
I got talking to her and I was quite shocked by how she'd changed so much, and not for the better, though she didn't admit that obviously. To cut a long story short she's in a relationship where this guy frequently hurts her, but she still says she loves him. He's even put her in hospital once last year, broke her arm, but she says she won't leave him because she loves him. I'm no expert but I'm guessing you have to put serious force on someone's arm to break it.
It just baffles me why she can love someone like that ? This isn't out of jealousy or anything, I just don't like to see friends, however old, being hurt, as I'm sure all of you don't, and....... I don't know, it just troubled me somewhat. She used to look so cheerful, and bright but now..... I just find it sad.
~~Belldandy~~
PS Bet you all thought the ~~Belldandy~~ signature was gone forever :0
PPS *Above line attempt to inject some humour into otherwise depressing topic*
The sixth form I went to was only a small one, about 25 people in total so of course we all knew each other well and got on well. When Sixth form ended most of us went to Universities all over the country and we rarely see each other now, still see some of the old gang but most of them aren't around anymore. People lose touch, move away, live away, get jobs e.t.c.
Today, I saw someone I used to know because she was in all the same classes as me in Sixth form, we were only friends but good ones as we'd been to the same schools since infants.
I got talking to her and I was quite shocked by how she'd changed so much, and not for the better, though she didn't admit that obviously. To cut a long story short she's in a relationship where this guy frequently hurts her, but she still says she loves him. He's even put her in hospital once last year, broke her arm, but she says she won't leave him because she loves him. I'm no expert but I'm guessing you have to put serious force on someone's arm to break it.
It just baffles me why she can love someone like that ? This isn't out of jealousy or anything, I just don't like to see friends, however old, being hurt, as I'm sure all of you don't, and....... I don't know, it just troubled me somewhat. She used to look so cheerful, and bright but now..... I just find it sad.
~~Belldandy~~
PS Bet you all thought the ~~Belldandy~~ signature was gone forever :0
PPS *Above line attempt to inject some humour into otherwise depressing topic*
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It's definitely not made up, she's honestly not that kind of person, I know you can't know people 100%, but when you've known them since you were about 5 you can just tell.
Worst thing is I don't know why she was even on campus yesterday, whether she was visiting or something, I should've asked but just kind of surprised to see her in the first place.
Worst thing is I don't know why she was even on campus yesterday, whether she was visiting or something, I should've asked but just kind of surprised to see her in the first place.
Hey Slavie, Get in touch. I still owe you a CD.
Not to be out of line here, I don't mean to, but...
Are you sure she isnt yanking your chain? I know a lass that told me about how her fella had hit her a few times, and shouted at her a lot and stuff, and then I had a quiet word with her dad about it without her knowing (Yeah, i know.). He said it wasnt all made up, but the guy had never hit her, as he would have slapped him from here to RIGHT over there if he had.
It could well be a cry for help, but not for the reasons she is giving. But then it could be the truth, so if you're going to get into this, always be a step back.
Are you sure she isnt yanking your chain? I know a lass that told me about how her fella had hit her a few times, and shouted at her a lot and stuff, and then I had a quiet word with her dad about it without her knowing (Yeah, i know.). He said it wasnt all made up, but the guy had never hit her, as he would have slapped him from here to RIGHT over there if he had.
It could well be a cry for help, but not for the reasons she is giving. But then it could be the truth, so if you're going to get into this, always be a step back.
Inadequacy.
Inadequacy on his part in that the only way he can feel like a man is to subdue somebody weaker.
Inadequacy on her part in that she has probably now been conditioned to the mindset of deserving what she gets, and that she can't do any better.
Simple solution? There isn't one. Maybe he has reasons in his past for behaving like the worst sort of loser. Maybe she has reasons in hers for feeling that she deserves to be in an abusive relationship.
Inadequacy on his part in that the only way he can feel like a man is to subdue somebody weaker.
Inadequacy on her part in that she has probably now been conditioned to the mindset of deserving what she gets, and that she can't do any better.
Simple solution? There isn't one. Maybe he has reasons in his past for behaving like the worst sort of loser. Maybe she has reasons in hers for feeling that she deserves to be in an abusive relationship.
BTW no I haven't missed your signature, you silk wearing butter cup ;D
Belldandy wrote:
> I'm no expert but I'm guessing you
> have to put serious force on someone's arm to break it.
Depends how it was broken.
The fact that she is telling you means that either she wants you to help her, or wants to vent feelings of frustration. The very fact she is telling you shows she knows she needs to get out. Its easy to say this when I am in a nice cosy third person perspective here, but she knows what she has to do - to put up with such violence is stupid, children don't have a choice, women do. It is like being an alcoholic, you love what is killing you. It takes extreme willpower to stop letting it happen to you, but only you can help yourself, and HAVE to if you plan to ever salvage any of your life.
The beatings will not stop, if it is in someones nature to be violent, it is very hard to change.
> I'm no expert but I'm guessing you
> have to put serious force on someone's arm to break it.
Depends how it was broken.
The fact that she is telling you means that either she wants you to help her, or wants to vent feelings of frustration. The very fact she is telling you shows she knows she needs to get out. Its easy to say this when I am in a nice cosy third person perspective here, but she knows what she has to do - to put up with such violence is stupid, children don't have a choice, women do. It is like being an alcoholic, you love what is killing you. It takes extreme willpower to stop letting it happen to you, but only you can help yourself, and HAVE to if you plan to ever salvage any of your life.
The beatings will not stop, if it is in someones nature to be violent, it is very hard to change.
I have sympathy for those people but get angry because I don't understand such reasoning
*Reads the topic properly*
Oh shame on me
Oh shame on me
Belldandy wrote:
~~Belldandy~~
****
HOORAY!
~~Mystique~~
~~Belldandy~~
****
HOORAY!
~~Mystique~~
Belldandy wrote:
> PS Bet you all thought the ~~Belldandy~~ signature was gone forever
Not "thought" - "hoped".
> PS Bet you all thought the ~~Belldandy~~ signature was gone forever
Not "thought" - "hoped".
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