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My first proper piece of creative writing I've posted here. Ever.
Hope you like it
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Door
At the end of the corridor, the closed door was waiting for him. He approached, apprehensive at first. He just knew what was behind that door. He refused to let himself believe that. Another step. More apprehension.
Steve could see the door, a long way away, but he carried on walking briskly. He was blissfully oblivious to what was going on around him. He'd just come back from the local pub, slightly drunk, where he had just spent his evening watching the football with some friends.
For a split-second he had pictured a light coming from behind the door. It scared him. He was only a mere five meters from the door but that didn't stop him turning around. The idea swam around in his head. Yes? No?
Steve was fine, he carried on ignoreing everything around him. He was happy, his team had just won the UEFA cup, he was minimally drunk, and Karyn was in his flat waiting for him. What else did he want?
One more step, one more boost of lowliness. He felt pathetic in front of the door, it was almost over-powering in the way it scared him. He was about to step away, but his leg resited and took another step forward. 3 Metres.
Steve carried on, thinking. Not even he knew what he was thinking about, but he knew he was contemplating... Was it taking over the world? Was he mentally preparing his hangover concoction for tommorow? Probably not. But he was thinking...
2 meters. He could have swron the door was shaking now, almost pulling him towards it. His mind blanked. He felt empty... Except for a lingering voice inside his head whispering solemnly 'Turn around, run. Now.'
'Banana, orange juice, honey, milk... mmmmmm milk' Steve was already planning his hangover cure for tommorow, but he felt something was bugging him. He thought harder.
The door-knob had obviously been polished only very recently, it reflected the his frightened face on it. His outstreched palm was obviously wet, and he couldnt hide that from himself.
Steve reached for the handle of the same door, he felt some resistance, but in his state he thought it was just himself.
He saw the door-knob slipping through his wet palm. 'That's it' he whispered under his breath...
Steve pushed the door open, he was startled by the sight of the pale, shaking man on the other side.
'Excuse me'
Nidal
Hope you like it
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Door
At the end of the corridor, the closed door was waiting for him. He approached, apprehensive at first. He just knew what was behind that door. He refused to let himself believe that. Another step. More apprehension.
Steve could see the door, a long way away, but he carried on walking briskly. He was blissfully oblivious to what was going on around him. He'd just come back from the local pub, slightly drunk, where he had just spent his evening watching the football with some friends.
For a split-second he had pictured a light coming from behind the door. It scared him. He was only a mere five meters from the door but that didn't stop him turning around. The idea swam around in his head. Yes? No?
Steve was fine, he carried on ignoreing everything around him. He was happy, his team had just won the UEFA cup, he was minimally drunk, and Karyn was in his flat waiting for him. What else did he want?
One more step, one more boost of lowliness. He felt pathetic in front of the door, it was almost over-powering in the way it scared him. He was about to step away, but his leg resited and took another step forward. 3 Metres.
Steve carried on, thinking. Not even he knew what he was thinking about, but he knew he was contemplating... Was it taking over the world? Was he mentally preparing his hangover concoction for tommorow? Probably not. But he was thinking...
2 meters. He could have swron the door was shaking now, almost pulling him towards it. His mind blanked. He felt empty... Except for a lingering voice inside his head whispering solemnly 'Turn around, run. Now.'
'Banana, orange juice, honey, milk... mmmmmm milk' Steve was already planning his hangover cure for tommorow, but he felt something was bugging him. He thought harder.
The door-knob had obviously been polished only very recently, it reflected the his frightened face on it. His outstreched palm was obviously wet, and he couldnt hide that from himself.
Steve reached for the handle of the same door, he felt some resistance, but in his state he thought it was just himself.
He saw the door-knob slipping through his wet palm. 'That's it' he whispered under his breath...
Steve pushed the door open, he was startled by the sight of the pale, shaking man on the other side.
'Excuse me'
Nidal
18/20
hurray
hurray
once again the diversity of Hello's creative and analytical mind astounds me... i never knew he had a twisted side before
...
...
Meka Dragon wrote:
> However, the ending did leave me a little confused. Was that
> intentional?
Yup, I kinda left it to the reader to decide on who was who and who said what at the end.
> However, the ending did leave me a little confused. Was that
> intentional?
Yup, I kinda left it to the reader to decide on who was who and who said what at the end.
That's pretty good.
The pace of it is kept swift with the initial short sentences.
There was plenty of show and not too much tell too, which is always good.
However, the ending did leave me a little confused. Was that intentional?
Anyway, it shows potential.
The pace of it is kept swift with the initial short sentences.
There was plenty of show and not too much tell too, which is always good.
However, the ending did leave me a little confused. Was that intentional?
Anyway, it shows potential.
Thanks a lot to everyone there :0) Appreciated
Black Glove wrote:
> Is that just the start or is it the end?
It's neither. It's whole
> Who's the shaking man?
'He'
Black Glove wrote:
> Is that just the start or is it the end?
It's neither. It's whole
> Who's the shaking man?
'He'
Swron :D
Sounds like an American freshwater bird :D
Nice piece of writing though :D
Sounds like an American freshwater bird :D
Nice piece of writing though :D
I gathered it was him, but I am still uncertain...
Makes me want to know more. Is that just the start or is it the end? And if it's the end, who's the shaking man?
T'was very good as a first, HHAT!
Keep on at it!
Keep on at it!
My first proper piece of creative writing I've posted here. Ever.
Hope you like it
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Door
At the end of the corridor, the closed door was waiting for him. He approached, apprehensive at first. He just knew what was behind that door. He refused to let himself believe that. Another step. More apprehension.
Steve could see the door, a long way away, but he carried on walking briskly. He was blissfully oblivious to what was going on around him. He'd just come back from the local pub, slightly drunk, where he had just spent his evening watching the football with some friends.
For a split-second he had pictured a light coming from behind the door. It scared him. He was only a mere five meters from the door but that didn't stop him turning around. The idea swam around in his head. Yes? No?
Steve was fine, he carried on ignoreing everything around him. He was happy, his team had just won the UEFA cup, he was minimally drunk, and Karyn was in his flat waiting for him. What else did he want?
One more step, one more boost of lowliness. He felt pathetic in front of the door, it was almost over-powering in the way it scared him. He was about to step away, but his leg resited and took another step forward. 3 Metres.
Steve carried on, thinking. Not even he knew what he was thinking about, but he knew he was contemplating... Was it taking over the world? Was he mentally preparing his hangover concoction for tommorow? Probably not. But he was thinking...
2 meters. He could have swron the door was shaking now, almost pulling him towards it. His mind blanked. He felt empty... Except for a lingering voice inside his head whispering solemnly 'Turn around, run. Now.'
'Banana, orange juice, honey, milk... mmmmmm milk' Steve was already planning his hangover cure for tommorow, but he felt something was bugging him. He thought harder.
The door-knob had obviously been polished only very recently, it reflected the his frightened face on it. His outstreched palm was obviously wet, and he couldnt hide that from himself.
Steve reached for the handle of the same door, he felt some resistance, but in his state he thought it was just himself.
He saw the door-knob slipping through his wet palm. 'That's it' he whispered under his breath...
Steve pushed the door open, he was startled by the sight of the pale, shaking man on the other side.
'Excuse me'
Nidal
Hope you like it
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Door
At the end of the corridor, the closed door was waiting for him. He approached, apprehensive at first. He just knew what was behind that door. He refused to let himself believe that. Another step. More apprehension.
Steve could see the door, a long way away, but he carried on walking briskly. He was blissfully oblivious to what was going on around him. He'd just come back from the local pub, slightly drunk, where he had just spent his evening watching the football with some friends.
For a split-second he had pictured a light coming from behind the door. It scared him. He was only a mere five meters from the door but that didn't stop him turning around. The idea swam around in his head. Yes? No?
Steve was fine, he carried on ignoreing everything around him. He was happy, his team had just won the UEFA cup, he was minimally drunk, and Karyn was in his flat waiting for him. What else did he want?
One more step, one more boost of lowliness. He felt pathetic in front of the door, it was almost over-powering in the way it scared him. He was about to step away, but his leg resited and took another step forward. 3 Metres.
Steve carried on, thinking. Not even he knew what he was thinking about, but he knew he was contemplating... Was it taking over the world? Was he mentally preparing his hangover concoction for tommorow? Probably not. But he was thinking...
2 meters. He could have swron the door was shaking now, almost pulling him towards it. His mind blanked. He felt empty... Except for a lingering voice inside his head whispering solemnly 'Turn around, run. Now.'
'Banana, orange juice, honey, milk... mmmmmm milk' Steve was already planning his hangover cure for tommorow, but he felt something was bugging him. He thought harder.
The door-knob had obviously been polished only very recently, it reflected the his frightened face on it. His outstreched palm was obviously wet, and he couldnt hide that from himself.
Steve reached for the handle of the same door, he felt some resistance, but in his state he thought it was just himself.
He saw the door-knob slipping through his wet palm. 'That's it' he whispered under his breath...
Steve pushed the door open, he was startled by the sight of the pale, shaking man on the other side.
'Excuse me'
Nidal