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So then, the holiest days of the Christian calendar is once more upon us. For yes, though it is Christmas that gets all the good press, Easter is the big kid on the blof**k when it comes to sacred days. What a pity it is then that, as a festival, it's about as closely related to the death and resurrection of Christ as Michael Barrymore is to Margaret Thatcher. If anybody out there, anybody at all, can explain to me exactly where in the Bible one can find references to a giant bunny rabbit delivering chocolate eggs to children on or around the crucifixion of Christ then I will of course change my tune. But one may as well celebrate Easter by singing "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" as it is just as relevant to Christianity as the current imagery used.
Okay, so perhaps I'm being a little unfair. After all, no one can watch TV for more than an hour over Easter Weekend without seeing some program concerning the story of Jesus. The fact that everybody under the age of 50 switches over to whatever 'Easter Blof**kbuster' that they've probably already seen on cable or video at least 4 times shows the level of interest that we have in that particular story. So we all tune out of the religious propaganda that the BBC are contractually obliged to provide. Instead we are left with one or two images. Easter eggs for example. Since I was old enough to realise how marvellous chocolate was I've associated Easter with chocolate eggs and indigestion. To be honest, I can just about see a case for associating this with Christianity. After all, Jesus died and was reborn and the egg could symbolise his rebirth. Yes, I know; I'm pushing belief pretty far, but I suppose one should try to be generous.
This generosity stops there however, especially when we consider the other image that is most commonly associated with Easter; the bunny. This does seem to be more of an American thing, but it's fairly well known throughout the Christian world. And it comes from....where exactly? Did I miss a psalm somewhere? Lo, did the multitude of bunnies gather on the hill of Golgotha and provide warmth and comfort to the lord with their furry frames? Erm, no. Not exactly.
Have a little think about what rabbits usually get associated with. No, not carrots and lettuce; screwing. The phrase is, I believe, "To f*f**k like rabbits". Is this some sort of nod to Mary Magdalene being of questionable morality before encountering the resurrected form of Christ? Nope; the early church was quite stunningly prudish (and still is in many respects); can you imagine them deliberately including a representative of Randy Pan the Goatboy? The Easter Bunny is only there at all because the festival has been stolen almost in it's entirety. The days get longer at this time of year. The temperatures rise (although not bloody much if you live where I do...), the mood generally lifts. Oh, and people are far more inclined to get one another into bed. As human nature isn't the most changeable of things, it doesn't take a huge leap of imagination to see that what we are celebrating is a pre-Christian festival.
The Easter Bunny and the cavalcade of chocolate eggs represent fertility, both for the people and for the land (because Spring is the time of sowing and a good harvest quite literally meant the difference between life and death; where do you think the autumnal harvest festival, so beloved of the local school and parish church, originated from? It was to thank the earth for providing for them and in memory of this, school kids raid their cupboards for canned food to be sent to the church for a display. And none of them really understand why this is. I know I never did...). Christianity isn't exactly big on celebrating fertility of any kind so I'm satisfied that these images had nothing to do with them. So why are they still around? How did relics of the pagan era survive?
Probably because we want them too. We seem to have a hard time as a race letting go of traditions, beliefs, and rituals. Look, for example, at Tower Bridge and the Crown Jewels. The Ceremony of the Keys has been repeated nightly for 700 years. Why exactly? The Sword that belongs to the Commander of the Tower is encrusted with thousands of gems and holds ceremonial significance during a coronation. Yet we're a civilised and God-fearing nation; why the hell should we bother with ancient ceremonies or put stof**k in the use of a particular item to complete them? We like our little rituals, and Christianity (to it's credit) recognised and utilised this.
It's no accident that Easter falls at the same time as a pagan fertility festival, nor that we have an equally pagan harvest festival to give thanks for the food we receive. Christmas was bolted onto the Roman festival of Saturnalia, even All Hallows Eve has sod all to do with the gentleman who was nailed to the planks of wood (it's an old festival called Samhain and it is most decidedly un-Christian...). Christianity took all of these existing dates in the pagan calendar and simply altered the emphasis of the festival. Hence the jollity and gift-giving of Saturnalia continued, only it was done in the name of Jesus' birth rather than a marking of the year gone by. The sinister tones of Samhain became the faux frights of Halloween. It all boils down to this; same s**t, different God. So next time some humourless cleric makes public declamations of how commerce has displaced the holiness of the various festivals, do as I do and shout loudly at the TV/Newspaper/The cleric himself that his precious festival had stuff all to do with God or Jesus. All that is happening is that the festivals are returning to their roots.
And you'll also find out how MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice became so popular.
I think I might have to see what the fuss is aboot.
(just got back from canada)
> On disc two, go to the interviews menu (which is on the back of a
> train), highlight Bruce Willis' interview at the top. Look towards the
> left hand side of the screen at the top, by the entrance of the tunnel
> there is an exit sign, try to highlight that and press enter, you will
> then be given a whole host of brilliant outtakes from the 3rd movie!
>
>
> From www.dvdeastereggs.com
Cheers for that, does that include the alternate ending that is mentioned on the case as well?
> "A goldfish left Lincoln Logs in mah sock drawer!"
> "That's the story of Jeees-us"
>
> Is all I have to say.
Heh. Even after all these years, Bill Hicks is still the man!
From www.dvdeastereggs.com
"That's the story of Jeees-us"
Is all I have to say.
So then, the holiest days of the Christian calendar is once more upon us. For yes, though it is Christmas that gets all the good press, Easter is the big kid on the blof**k when it comes to sacred days. What a pity it is then that, as a festival, it's about as closely related to the death and resurrection of Christ as Michael Barrymore is to Margaret Thatcher. If anybody out there, anybody at all, can explain to me exactly where in the Bible one can find references to a giant bunny rabbit delivering chocolate eggs to children on or around the crucifixion of Christ then I will of course change my tune. But one may as well celebrate Easter by singing "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" as it is just as relevant to Christianity as the current imagery used.
Okay, so perhaps I'm being a little unfair. After all, no one can watch TV for more than an hour over Easter Weekend without seeing some program concerning the story of Jesus. The fact that everybody under the age of 50 switches over to whatever 'Easter Blof**kbuster' that they've probably already seen on cable or video at least 4 times shows the level of interest that we have in that particular story. So we all tune out of the religious propaganda that the BBC are contractually obliged to provide. Instead we are left with one or two images. Easter eggs for example. Since I was old enough to realise how marvellous chocolate was I've associated Easter with chocolate eggs and indigestion. To be honest, I can just about see a case for associating this with Christianity. After all, Jesus died and was reborn and the egg could symbolise his rebirth. Yes, I know; I'm pushing belief pretty far, but I suppose one should try to be generous.
This generosity stops there however, especially when we consider the other image that is most commonly associated with Easter; the bunny. This does seem to be more of an American thing, but it's fairly well known throughout the Christian world. And it comes from....where exactly? Did I miss a psalm somewhere? Lo, did the multitude of bunnies gather on the hill of Golgotha and provide warmth and comfort to the lord with their furry frames? Erm, no. Not exactly.
Have a little think about what rabbits usually get associated with. No, not carrots and lettuce; screwing. The phrase is, I believe, "To f*f**k like rabbits". Is this some sort of nod to Mary Magdalene being of questionable morality before encountering the resurrected form of Christ? Nope; the early church was quite stunningly prudish (and still is in many respects); can you imagine them deliberately including a representative of Randy Pan the Goatboy? The Easter Bunny is only there at all because the festival has been stolen almost in it's entirety. The days get longer at this time of year. The temperatures rise (although not bloody much if you live where I do...), the mood generally lifts. Oh, and people are far more inclined to get one another into bed. As human nature isn't the most changeable of things, it doesn't take a huge leap of imagination to see that what we are celebrating is a pre-Christian festival.
The Easter Bunny and the cavalcade of chocolate eggs represent fertility, both for the people and for the land (because Spring is the time of sowing and a good harvest quite literally meant the difference between life and death; where do you think the autumnal harvest festival, so beloved of the local school and parish church, originated from? It was to thank the earth for providing for them and in memory of this, school kids raid their cupboards for canned food to be sent to the church for a display. And none of them really understand why this is. I know I never did...). Christianity isn't exactly big on celebrating fertility of any kind so I'm satisfied that these images had nothing to do with them. So why are they still around? How did relics of the pagan era survive?
Probably because we want them too. We seem to have a hard time as a race letting go of traditions, beliefs, and rituals. Look, for example, at Tower Bridge and the Crown Jewels. The Ceremony of the Keys has been repeated nightly for 700 years. Why exactly? The Sword that belongs to the Commander of the Tower is encrusted with thousands of gems and holds ceremonial significance during a coronation. Yet we're a civilised and God-fearing nation; why the hell should we bother with ancient ceremonies or put stof**k in the use of a particular item to complete them? We like our little rituals, and Christianity (to it's credit) recognised and utilised this.
It's no accident that Easter falls at the same time as a pagan fertility festival, nor that we have an equally pagan harvest festival to give thanks for the food we receive. Christmas was bolted onto the Roman festival of Saturnalia, even All Hallows Eve has sod all to do with the gentleman who was nailed to the planks of wood (it's an old festival called Samhain and it is most decidedly un-Christian...). Christianity took all of these existing dates in the pagan calendar and simply altered the emphasis of the festival. Hence the jollity and gift-giving of Saturnalia continued, only it was done in the name of Jesus' birth rather than a marking of the year gone by. The sinister tones of Samhain became the faux frights of Halloween. It all boils down to this; same s**t, different God. So next time some humourless cleric makes public declamations of how commerce has displaced the holiness of the various festivals, do as I do and shout loudly at the TV/Newspaper/The cleric himself that his precious festival had stuff all to do with God or Jesus. All that is happening is that the festivals are returning to their roots.