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"Fear"

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Fri 04/04/03 at 03:28
Regular
Posts: 787
Disclaimer: You may not care
********************


“Afraid of what?”
“The future”
“An elevator that’s afraid of the future? What does it want – a pension plan?”


I’m in a curious position right now. Having only learned how to write essays that are in the 2:1 to 1st range, instead of 2:2 to 2:1, in my final year, and still not unfathomed the mystery of exam marking, I’m looking at the boundary between 2:2 and 2:1 for my degree. Finishing with 2:1s will carry it off, I’ve done the maths (damn weighting complications).
So at the moment everything is on hold for my diss (which has first potential if I can get the balance of content styles right) and exam revision. And debating, which I’m just getting into and is useful CV fodder.

The fear is of failure I guess. My diss could either turn out very well (first) or pretty poorly, depending on if I hit essay form. My whole degree could turn out great (2:1) or fairly lame (2:2) by employment standards (particularly competitive field, no disrespect to people with 2:2s).


Then there’s the future. After the law degree, not knowing whether I want the profession, I’ll probably be doing a course to qualify as basically a solicitor wannabe, a ‘legal executive’. It might be a lame course that’ll get me black-balled from future soliciting ( :^) ), but it has no fees (instead of £7k plus living expenses for solicitor), so seems like a good enough way to test the waters. Provided I can keep afloat financially.
One thing – only one place runs the course for postgrads (there’s a non-graduate alternative too), and last year they had 12 (count ‘em) students.
Then again, the course is incredibly badly publicised. No web site, the only time I heard of it was when they sent someone to speak at the uni. And if like the vast majority of the students here I’d slept in that morning I still wouldn’t know about it now.
The only promotional material I’ve seen has been a photocopy of a side of A4.

So the course could be a load of hokey pap, with a qualification that may as well be from a cornflakes box, or it could be good. But there’s really no way of knowing.
Then there’s the year studying. Two of us had planned to go. The other person has all but decided against it. I figure I’ll be going alone.
Going to uni you knew there would be loads of people in the same position, you’re guaranteed to make friends and stuff. Here, there’ll probably be about 10 others and a bunch of school kids (no disrespect to anyone of that age reading this, but I’ve changed a lot since I was friends with (‘real’) people of that age). Those ten could be ash-holes. They could be people who lived here before uni. And then there’d be the search for local people. I’ve never really formed friendships outside of some common thing (education, sport etc), except my local pool team, and most of them are 30s – 40s.
Meanwhile going on my own will kick the rent up, I’ll still have my post-uni overdraft, and there won’t be much time available for part time work.

And I have to go look for a basketball team. Or stop playing. (The college doesn’t have one).


So for now I’m sweating over exams and my diss. Then I’ll be taking some lame shop till job to try to scrape some money together, since because of my location, inability to drive and lack of permanence for whatever I get, I can’t get anything better.
Then I’ll be entering a world of skintness, with potentially no (nearby) mates, and quite possibly a world of lameness and unhappiness.


“…then again it can be alright, it all depends on the weather.”


Thanks for reading, if you bothered. Might help me sleep now I’ve cleared my head. Maybe. Then it’s back to the diss and some job applications for tomorrow.
Any thoughts would be appreciated.
Fri 04/04/03 at 03:43
Regular
"Look!!! Changed!!!1"
Posts: 2,072
Hmmm... I'm wondering if there is a connection between the Dr. prefix and law degrees...
Fri 04/04/03 at 03:28
Regular
Posts: 8,220
Disclaimer: You may not care
********************


“Afraid of what?”
“The future”
“An elevator that’s afraid of the future? What does it want – a pension plan?”


I’m in a curious position right now. Having only learned how to write essays that are in the 2:1 to 1st range, instead of 2:2 to 2:1, in my final year, and still not unfathomed the mystery of exam marking, I’m looking at the boundary between 2:2 and 2:1 for my degree. Finishing with 2:1s will carry it off, I’ve done the maths (damn weighting complications).
So at the moment everything is on hold for my diss (which has first potential if I can get the balance of content styles right) and exam revision. And debating, which I’m just getting into and is useful CV fodder.

The fear is of failure I guess. My diss could either turn out very well (first) or pretty poorly, depending on if I hit essay form. My whole degree could turn out great (2:1) or fairly lame (2:2) by employment standards (particularly competitive field, no disrespect to people with 2:2s).


Then there’s the future. After the law degree, not knowing whether I want the profession, I’ll probably be doing a course to qualify as basically a solicitor wannabe, a ‘legal executive’. It might be a lame course that’ll get me black-balled from future soliciting ( :^) ), but it has no fees (instead of £7k plus living expenses for solicitor), so seems like a good enough way to test the waters. Provided I can keep afloat financially.
One thing – only one place runs the course for postgrads (there’s a non-graduate alternative too), and last year they had 12 (count ‘em) students.
Then again, the course is incredibly badly publicised. No web site, the only time I heard of it was when they sent someone to speak at the uni. And if like the vast majority of the students here I’d slept in that morning I still wouldn’t know about it now.
The only promotional material I’ve seen has been a photocopy of a side of A4.

So the course could be a load of hokey pap, with a qualification that may as well be from a cornflakes box, or it could be good. But there’s really no way of knowing.
Then there’s the year studying. Two of us had planned to go. The other person has all but decided against it. I figure I’ll be going alone.
Going to uni you knew there would be loads of people in the same position, you’re guaranteed to make friends and stuff. Here, there’ll probably be about 10 others and a bunch of school kids (no disrespect to anyone of that age reading this, but I’ve changed a lot since I was friends with (‘real’) people of that age). Those ten could be ash-holes. They could be people who lived here before uni. And then there’d be the search for local people. I’ve never really formed friendships outside of some common thing (education, sport etc), except my local pool team, and most of them are 30s – 40s.
Meanwhile going on my own will kick the rent up, I’ll still have my post-uni overdraft, and there won’t be much time available for part time work.

And I have to go look for a basketball team. Or stop playing. (The college doesn’t have one).


So for now I’m sweating over exams and my diss. Then I’ll be taking some lame shop till job to try to scrape some money together, since because of my location, inability to drive and lack of permanence for whatever I get, I can’t get anything better.
Then I’ll be entering a world of skintness, with potentially no (nearby) mates, and quite possibly a world of lameness and unhappiness.


“…then again it can be alright, it all depends on the weather.”


Thanks for reading, if you bothered. Might help me sleep now I’ve cleared my head. Maybe. Then it’s back to the diss and some job applications for tomorrow.
Any thoughts would be appreciated.

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