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In a knee-jerk reaction to the current war in Iraq or a late April Fools jape, US president George W. Bush and his loyal team of pencil-pushing desk-jockey sycophants have surprised the American people by drawing up plans for a temporary ban on all moustaches.
Like smoking bans in certain US states, the proposed legislation would deem it illegal to wear a moustache in public and is believed to be a direct response to the fashion trend created by Saddam Hussein of “wearing a moustache in a threatening or war-mongering way”.
In a statement to the American people from his underground bunker 20 miles under Camp David, Bush proclaimed, “Our sworn and soon to be vanquished enemy, Saddam Hussein has a moustache and vile dictator Adolf Hitler also had a moustache, so we had the CIA and FBI put two and two together and realised that all people who have moustaches are either evil, or have something insidious to hide. If Saddam and his army of beret wearing doppelgangers think that they can wear moustaches as their trademark, then we won’t follow his fashion trend and ban them for our people until Saddam is defeated.”
Reaction to the ban was that of surprise and bewilderment, with one moustache wearing long-distance trucker saying, “Bush hasn’t really thought about the practicalities of a ban on those there moustaches. I mean, heck, they grow back fairly quickly on the average man or old or fat lady, and how are you supposed to enforce that kind of law anyways?”
To counter that argument though, top US lawman Chuck Denton says, “We envisage a future where CHiPs style tanned biker cops armed with razors and shaving foam will patrol the streets looking for moustaches, and will deal out on-the-spot fines and shavings for perpetrators, then smile with their perfect teeth as they ride away into the sunset.”
A recent survey showed that 67% of Americans are believed to wear moustaches, ranging from those big bushy redneck handlebar ones to the old lady ones and small fluffy teenager ones worn by social misfits, so the banning will affect the lives of many citizens from all walks of life across the country. It is believed however, that the ban won’t affect beards in any way shape or form, so anyone with a moustache and beard combo must only shave off the upper lip tache part, but will then run the risk of looking quite silly.
Unsurprisingly, Hollywood has forced its surgically enhanced face into the topic, with various Hollywood stars who favour the wearing of a moustache, including Burt Reynolds and Tom Selleck in uproar at the proposal, with Selleck claiming, “Many of us moustache wearing actors based our careers on our fantastic macho moustaches. Where will we be without them? We’re certainly going to lose a lot of potential acting jobs until the ban ends that’s for sure.” A critic then pointed out that since ‘Magnum P.I’ and ‘Quigley Down Under’, it is debatable that Mr. Selleck has had a showbiz career, so the ban won’t affect him as much as he claims.
The proposed temporary ban also has many minority groups in uproar; a spokesman for the Gay Men of America Association claimed, “ We demand the right to walk around with big moustaches and tight leather trousers looking overly gay, so to shave us would be to repress us.”
Ethnic minorities, some of whom must wear facial hair as part of their religious beliefs, may be excluded from the ban, as many human and religious rights would be violated if they were forced to shave, not that Bush is usually sympathetic to such rights.
If Saddam Hussein takes longer to defeated than anticipated and the ban remains for a long period, then future Super Mario video games will be edited to have Mario’s famous moustache removed for the US market, and all books and TV shows featuring Agatha Christie’s moustachioed Belgian super sleuth Poirot will be banned outright.
It is also believed that should the temporary moustache ban be approved in the US, the UK will naturally follow suit, more than likely signalling the demise of cheeky entertainers The Chuckle Brothers for the time being at least.
A spokesman for the US administration stated, “We hope for the sake of humanity and moustache wearers, the war ends quickly, Saddam is gone and Americans can live free and prosperously with their moustaches. God bless America, and her moustaches.”
Like smoking bans in certain US states, the proposed legislation would deem it illegal to wear a moustache in public and is believed to be a direct response to the fashion trend created by Saddam Hussein of “wearing a moustache in a threatening or war-mongering way”.
In a statement to the American people from his underground bunker 20 miles under Camp David, Bush proclaimed, “Our sworn and soon to be vanquished enemy, Saddam Hussein has a moustache and vile dictator Adolf Hitler also had a moustache, so we had the CIA and FBI put two and two together and realised that all people who have moustaches are either evil, or have something insidious to hide. If Saddam and his army of beret wearing doppelgangers think that they can wear moustaches as their trademark, then we won’t follow his fashion trend and ban them for our people until Saddam is defeated.”
Reaction to the ban was that of surprise and bewilderment, with one moustache wearing long-distance trucker saying, “Bush hasn’t really thought about the practicalities of a ban on those there moustaches. I mean, heck, they grow back fairly quickly on the average man or old or fat lady, and how are you supposed to enforce that kind of law anyways?”
To counter that argument though, top US lawman Chuck Denton says, “We envisage a future where CHiPs style tanned biker cops armed with razors and shaving foam will patrol the streets looking for moustaches, and will deal out on-the-spot fines and shavings for perpetrators, then smile with their perfect teeth as they ride away into the sunset.”
A recent survey showed that 67% of Americans are believed to wear moustaches, ranging from those big bushy redneck handlebar ones to the old lady ones and small fluffy teenager ones worn by social misfits, so the banning will affect the lives of many citizens from all walks of life across the country. It is believed however, that the ban won’t affect beards in any way shape or form, so anyone with a moustache and beard combo must only shave off the upper lip tache part, but will then run the risk of looking quite silly.
Unsurprisingly, Hollywood has forced its surgically enhanced face into the topic, with various Hollywood stars who favour the wearing of a moustache, including Burt Reynolds and Tom Selleck in uproar at the proposal, with Selleck claiming, “Many of us moustache wearing actors based our careers on our fantastic macho moustaches. Where will we be without them? We’re certainly going to lose a lot of potential acting jobs until the ban ends that’s for sure.” A critic then pointed out that since ‘Magnum P.I’ and ‘Quigley Down Under’, it is debatable that Mr. Selleck has had a showbiz career, so the ban won’t affect him as much as he claims.
The proposed temporary ban also has many minority groups in uproar; a spokesman for the Gay Men of America Association claimed, “ We demand the right to walk around with big moustaches and tight leather trousers looking overly gay, so to shave us would be to repress us.”
Ethnic minorities, some of whom must wear facial hair as part of their religious beliefs, may be excluded from the ban, as many human and religious rights would be violated if they were forced to shave, not that Bush is usually sympathetic to such rights.
If Saddam Hussein takes longer to defeated than anticipated and the ban remains for a long period, then future Super Mario video games will be edited to have Mario’s famous moustache removed for the US market, and all books and TV shows featuring Agatha Christie’s moustachioed Belgian super sleuth Poirot will be banned outright.
It is also believed that should the temporary moustache ban be approved in the US, the UK will naturally follow suit, more than likely signalling the demise of cheeky entertainers The Chuckle Brothers for the time being at least.
A spokesman for the US administration stated, “We hope for the sake of humanity and moustache wearers, the war ends quickly, Saddam is gone and Americans can live free and prosperously with their moustaches. God bless America, and her moustaches.”
I stand corrected. 'Amish style' looks like it is just about possible to get away with a beard but no 'tache. Those crazy Amish folk.
I think it's the uneven bit in the middle that leads up to his lower lip that ruins it.
But some Amish gentleman do the beard thing with class.
www.thecostumer.com/store/product.cfm?prodID=1450
But some Amish gentleman do the beard thing with class.
www.thecostumer.com/store/product.cfm?prodID=1450
Meka Dragon wrote:
> But I believe that you can get away with just a beard, and no combo
> 'tache without looking daft.
The guy on the right 'Nephew Mike' doesn't seem to carry it off very well in this pic:
http://www.davidlamotte.com/pixpg/fam/beards.html
> But I believe that you can get away with just a beard, and no combo
> 'tache without looking daft.
The guy on the right 'Nephew Mike' doesn't seem to carry it off very well in this pic:
http://www.davidlamotte.com/pixpg/fam/beards.html
Well I read it and enjoyed it.
But I believe that you can get away with just a beard, and no combo 'tache without looking daft.
If I had more imeI'd findevidence, but I really shouldn't spend my day scouring the 'net for men with beards.
But I believe that you can get away with just a beard, and no combo 'tache without looking daft.
If I had more imeI'd findevidence, but I really shouldn't spend my day scouring the 'net for men with beards.
In a knee-jerk reaction to the current war in Iraq or a late April Fools jape, US president George W. Bush and his loyal team of pencil-pushing desk-jockey sycophants have surprised the American people by drawing up plans for a temporary ban on all moustaches.
Like smoking bans in certain US states, the proposed legislation would deem it illegal to wear a moustache in public and is believed to be a direct response to the fashion trend created by Saddam Hussein of “wearing a moustache in a threatening or war-mongering way”.
In a statement to the American people from his underground bunker 20 miles under Camp David, Bush proclaimed, “Our sworn and soon to be vanquished enemy, Saddam Hussein has a moustache and vile dictator Adolf Hitler also had a moustache, so we had the CIA and FBI put two and two together and realised that all people who have moustaches are either evil, or have something insidious to hide. If Saddam and his army of beret wearing doppelgangers think that they can wear moustaches as their trademark, then we won’t follow his fashion trend and ban them for our people until Saddam is defeated.”
Reaction to the ban was that of surprise and bewilderment, with one moustache wearing long-distance trucker saying, “Bush hasn’t really thought about the practicalities of a ban on those there moustaches. I mean, heck, they grow back fairly quickly on the average man or old or fat lady, and how are you supposed to enforce that kind of law anyways?”
To counter that argument though, top US lawman Chuck Denton says, “We envisage a future where CHiPs style tanned biker cops armed with razors and shaving foam will patrol the streets looking for moustaches, and will deal out on-the-spot fines and shavings for perpetrators, then smile with their perfect teeth as they ride away into the sunset.”
A recent survey showed that 67% of Americans are believed to wear moustaches, ranging from those big bushy redneck handlebar ones to the old lady ones and small fluffy teenager ones worn by social misfits, so the banning will affect the lives of many citizens from all walks of life across the country. It is believed however, that the ban won’t affect beards in any way shape or form, so anyone with a moustache and beard combo must only shave off the upper lip tache part, but will then run the risk of looking quite silly.
Unsurprisingly, Hollywood has forced its surgically enhanced face into the topic, with various Hollywood stars who favour the wearing of a moustache, including Burt Reynolds and Tom Selleck in uproar at the proposal, with Selleck claiming, “Many of us moustache wearing actors based our careers on our fantastic macho moustaches. Where will we be without them? We’re certainly going to lose a lot of potential acting jobs until the ban ends that’s for sure.” A critic then pointed out that since ‘Magnum P.I’ and ‘Quigley Down Under’, it is debatable that Mr. Selleck has had a showbiz career, so the ban won’t affect him as much as he claims.
The proposed temporary ban also has many minority groups in uproar; a spokesman for the Gay Men of America Association claimed, “ We demand the right to walk around with big moustaches and tight leather trousers looking overly gay, so to shave us would be to repress us.”
Ethnic minorities, some of whom must wear facial hair as part of their religious beliefs, may be excluded from the ban, as many human and religious rights would be violated if they were forced to shave, not that Bush is usually sympathetic to such rights.
If Saddam Hussein takes longer to defeated than anticipated and the ban remains for a long period, then future Super Mario video games will be edited to have Mario’s famous moustache removed for the US market, and all books and TV shows featuring Agatha Christie’s moustachioed Belgian super sleuth Poirot will be banned outright.
It is also believed that should the temporary moustache ban be approved in the US, the UK will naturally follow suit, more than likely signalling the demise of cheeky entertainers The Chuckle Brothers for the time being at least.
A spokesman for the US administration stated, “We hope for the sake of humanity and moustache wearers, the war ends quickly, Saddam is gone and Americans can live free and prosperously with their moustaches. God bless America, and her moustaches.”
Like smoking bans in certain US states, the proposed legislation would deem it illegal to wear a moustache in public and is believed to be a direct response to the fashion trend created by Saddam Hussein of “wearing a moustache in a threatening or war-mongering way”.
In a statement to the American people from his underground bunker 20 miles under Camp David, Bush proclaimed, “Our sworn and soon to be vanquished enemy, Saddam Hussein has a moustache and vile dictator Adolf Hitler also had a moustache, so we had the CIA and FBI put two and two together and realised that all people who have moustaches are either evil, or have something insidious to hide. If Saddam and his army of beret wearing doppelgangers think that they can wear moustaches as their trademark, then we won’t follow his fashion trend and ban them for our people until Saddam is defeated.”
Reaction to the ban was that of surprise and bewilderment, with one moustache wearing long-distance trucker saying, “Bush hasn’t really thought about the practicalities of a ban on those there moustaches. I mean, heck, they grow back fairly quickly on the average man or old or fat lady, and how are you supposed to enforce that kind of law anyways?”
To counter that argument though, top US lawman Chuck Denton says, “We envisage a future where CHiPs style tanned biker cops armed with razors and shaving foam will patrol the streets looking for moustaches, and will deal out on-the-spot fines and shavings for perpetrators, then smile with their perfect teeth as they ride away into the sunset.”
A recent survey showed that 67% of Americans are believed to wear moustaches, ranging from those big bushy redneck handlebar ones to the old lady ones and small fluffy teenager ones worn by social misfits, so the banning will affect the lives of many citizens from all walks of life across the country. It is believed however, that the ban won’t affect beards in any way shape or form, so anyone with a moustache and beard combo must only shave off the upper lip tache part, but will then run the risk of looking quite silly.
Unsurprisingly, Hollywood has forced its surgically enhanced face into the topic, with various Hollywood stars who favour the wearing of a moustache, including Burt Reynolds and Tom Selleck in uproar at the proposal, with Selleck claiming, “Many of us moustache wearing actors based our careers on our fantastic macho moustaches. Where will we be without them? We’re certainly going to lose a lot of potential acting jobs until the ban ends that’s for sure.” A critic then pointed out that since ‘Magnum P.I’ and ‘Quigley Down Under’, it is debatable that Mr. Selleck has had a showbiz career, so the ban won’t affect him as much as he claims.
The proposed temporary ban also has many minority groups in uproar; a spokesman for the Gay Men of America Association claimed, “ We demand the right to walk around with big moustaches and tight leather trousers looking overly gay, so to shave us would be to repress us.”
Ethnic minorities, some of whom must wear facial hair as part of their religious beliefs, may be excluded from the ban, as many human and religious rights would be violated if they were forced to shave, not that Bush is usually sympathetic to such rights.
If Saddam Hussein takes longer to defeated than anticipated and the ban remains for a long period, then future Super Mario video games will be edited to have Mario’s famous moustache removed for the US market, and all books and TV shows featuring Agatha Christie’s moustachioed Belgian super sleuth Poirot will be banned outright.
It is also believed that should the temporary moustache ban be approved in the US, the UK will naturally follow suit, more than likely signalling the demise of cheeky entertainers The Chuckle Brothers for the time being at least.
A spokesman for the US administration stated, “We hope for the sake of humanity and moustache wearers, the war ends quickly, Saddam is gone and Americans can live free and prosperously with their moustaches. God bless America, and her moustaches.”