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For perhaps the first time in her life, Helen was on time. She glanced at her watch as she approached the thick glass door of the bank. There were still 15 minutes before her interview was supposed to begin. She smiled as she approached the Customer Service desk, running potential questions through her mind.
"Can you explain the 5 year gap in your employment history Miss Warton?"
No problems with that one, she pondered, she'd tell them about Jenny, and that she's in full time education now.
"Are you familiar with Microsoft Office?"
Easy, did courses on them all whilst at Schneider & Reed.
"And why did you leave your job at Schneider & Reed?"
The dreaded question that Helen feared more than having a tooth pulled. She could explain the circumstances, the affair with Mr Reed and her humiliation at the hands of Mrs Reed, but that wouldn't go down too well. As prepared as she was for all other lines of questioning, there was no easy way to hide her past mistakes, which they were bound ask about.
Worries about the interview were soon displaced though, when a man wearing an elephant mask and brandishing a shotgun burst through the door.
"Everybody, face down on the ground, NOW!" He cried as he looked around the room.
Helen froze in terror as people dropped first to their knees then onto their stomachs all around her. The man in the elephant mask twirled towards her, his long hair flicking at the sides of the elephant mask, not quite befitting of an elephant. He pointed the gun at Helen, then at the floor, and with a whimper, Helen finally managed to move herself onto her belly.
Another man came into the bank wielding a similar shotgun. This man was in a piggy mask, and held a large sack on his shoulder. He moved behind the counter and ushered the cashiers off of their stomachs to go lie with the customers. As the last of the three cashiers walked past him he grabbed her hair and pulled the shotgun up to her neck.
"Where's the manager" He said, looking round at her name badge, "Kate?"
"Through there!" said Kate, pointing to a nearby door.
"Is he alone?"
"Yes, he's about to interview somebody, but she's not there yet"
As Piggy let Kate go she felt a trickle of urine run down her leg, and an enormous wave of relief. If he'd have asked if she'd set off the alarm, she wasn't sure that she would have been able to lie.
Sergeant Barnibus was just down the road from the bank when he got the call. He'd nipped into a department store to grab himself a new pair of trousers to fit his ever expanding waistline and arrived back at his car just in time to receive the news of the attempted bank robbery. Barnibus wasn't the kind of man to hang around, he flung his new trousers in the back, started the car, shifted it into gear and picked up his radio in one swift motion.
"Barbara, find out how many exits the bank has, and get units in to cover each one, out"
Barnibus was the first to arrive outside the bank, but he knew back-up wasn't far away. On the way over he'd ascertained that there was only one other exit from the bank, via a door into an alley at the back. He wanted to do as much as he possibly could as soon as possible, for soon enough the situation would be removed from his control by some pretentious specialist. Barnibus had a deep-rooted hate for the special divisions, perhaps because he'd never managed to get the transfer he wanted into them whilst he was still young, but now he'd grown into a bitter sergeant.
Helen watched the Elephant Man load wads of notes into the sack that Piggy had left for him. She tried to think of what kind of description she'd give the police of this man. "He was wearing an Elephant mask" just wouldn't cut it. Unless it was permanent, Helen figured that a man with an elephant mask on all of the time would be easy to track down.
She looked at him again, from the shoes up. Tatty white trainers, no obvious brand, so clearly not Nike's. Quite big feet. Blue jeans, muddy at the bottom. Black leather jacket, serious scuffing, ill-fitting. But was he well built, or just fat? Helen couldn't decide. Height, as big as six foot? Helen was never good at judging height, and looking down from the floor made it even more difficult.
She looked around for Piggy, but he was nowhere in site. She figured that he was still behind the door with the manager. With him out of the way, and the Elephant Man busy loading up the money the path to the door was unguarded. Helen looked around the room, and noticed that she wasn't the only one that had had this thought. A man in a suit was moving slowly towards the door, wiggling along on his stomach like a caterpillar. He looked back towards the Elephant Man, who was still busy unloading the cashiers drawers. But as the man was about to rise and make for the door, he was distracted by the sound of feedback coming from a megaphone outside.
Elephant Man looked up, and Piggy ran through the door, leaving a bloody handprint on the counter as he past it on his way to look out of the window.
"Oh, man no! They're here, they're already here!" Said Piggy turning to Elephant Man.
"What? We've only been in a couple of minutes, haven't we? Are there many out there?"
"A couple of police cars. They've already set up barricades."
"Wasn't Mouse supposed to give us a toot if he saw any trouble?"
"He probably bricked it, I'm gonna kill him when we get out of here."
"Perhaps they got him? I mean, a man sitting wearing a mouse mask is kinda suspicious, isn't it?"
"I told that stupid freak to take that thing off. He's dead, he's bloody dead."
Before they could continue their conversation the megaphone inturpted them again.
"We have you surrounded. There is no escape. Come out with your hands in the air."
"Like you just don't care!" Added Piggy. "You think we can take those out?"
"You're kidding, right?" asked Elephant Man as he peered out of the window, "There are more turning up every damn second!"
Barnibus turned to Guy Stevens. "Sorry about the microphone, I don't know why it did that."
"Forget it Barnibus, those things are always playing up." Replied Steve.
"So what's the situation now?"
"Well we give them a minute to respond. We've got a live feed from one of the bank's cameras that they failed to disable. They're wearing masks, looks like one is a pig, and the other is an elephant. They look like amateurs, don't even seem to have a getaway vehicle." Steve stopped to put on his sunglasses. "You can get out of here if you like. My Special Ops boys can take care of it." Said Steve, tugging at the peak of his cap.
Barnibus looked at Guy with contempt. "I'll hang around, if it's all the same to you."
Barnibus looked across the square, which was now flooded with nosy shoppers trying to get a look at the action. Through this sea of faces Barnibus spotted a familiar site, the cabin of 'Steve's Sausage Co.' As he wasn't required to deal with the bank job, he thought he might as well treat himself. He needed a hotdog to make him feel better, he didn't even get credit for making sure the back entrances were covered, or for getting there so quickly.
Barnibus forgot about the hotdog before he reached 'Steve's Sausage Co' though when he spotted a giant mouse peering from behind a hedge.
"How about we give ourselves up?" suggested the Elephant Man.
"How about we execute some of these sheep, show them we mean business." Replied Piggy, pushing his head right against the Elephant Man's. "We can push them out the door, them shoot them in the back of the head. BOOM!"
Piggy began to laugh, pointing the gun at various people that were now trying to cover their heads, as if their hands could stop shotgun shells. Piggy was laughing so hard that he almost didn't hear the phone ringing.
"Pick up the phone" said the voice of the megaphone.
"Do you think we should answer it?" asked the Elephant Man
"No." Replied Piggy "I think I should answer it. You'll make us look like a couple of pansies. Bring it here."
The Elephant Man grabbed the ringing phone and took it to Piggy without answering it.
"Hello, South West Bank, how can I be of assistance" Said Piggy, putting on the most polite voice he could manage.
"You can come out of the bank with your hands up"
"I'm afraid that ain't gonna happen"
"One way or another you're living that bank, come towards the window and see how many of us there are. You'll see that you cannot win."
"No? Well who am I speaking to here, I like to know these things."
"Guy Stevens, Special Ops"
"Well Guy, let me tell you this. Unless you want a bloodbath on your hands, I suggest you find a way out of this for us."
Piggy slammed down the phone as The Elephant Man approached the window.
"Get down!" cried Piggy.
As the Elephant Man turned towards Piggy a bullet whizzed through the window and just past his head, embedding itself in the floor near to Helen.
"Jesus Christ, that could have killed me!" Said the Elephant man as he ducked to the floor.
"Right, let's slaughter some of the cattle" Said Piggy.
He ushered the man in the suit to get up. His suit was wrinkled after his caterpillar stunt that so nearly saw his escape from the bank.
"So, asked Piggy. "What's your name?"
"H..H..Harry"
"What, not just Harry? How does it feel to know that in your final moments, you sounded like a r..r..retard?"
Piggy looked at Harry, poking him with the shotgun. "No, don't answer, you'll only make yourself sound worse. "Now Harry, I want you to walk out of the bank."
Harry sobbed as he walked forward.
"Piggy, no" said the Elephant Man, but with no real conviction.
As Harry pushed the door open Piggy fired the shotgun.
Harry fell through the door, leaving half of his right leg behind.
"Don't worry, he'll live, had to show them we're serious" said Piggy.
"But how the hell is killing people going to help?" Asked Elephant Man
"They'll know we mean business. They don't want anyone to die, so they'll make a bargain with us."
The phone began to ring again. Piggy answered "Yes?"
"We're going to send some men to pick up the guy you just shot. Will you let us do that?"
"Sure, but you mess around, more people will get shot."
"Okay. We're sending men right now."
"So, are you beginning to see a way out of this for us?"
"I'm sure we can sort something out, just don't shoot anyone else."
"Well we're going to be needing more money, another couple of million, and safe passage out to France. You see if you can arrange that for us. You have ten minutes."
Piggy put down the phone.
"You asked for more money? Cool!" said Elephant Man.
"They'll give us it as well. I've seen the movies. They'll do anything to save the people, get us away from them. But then they'll try to isolate us, and shoot us. So we take hostages all the way to France."
"But France, why France? It's full of the French?"
"Nearest place, we'll move around from there, make it harder for them to track us. If we start in the south of Spain, they'll always know where we are and stuff."
"Wow Piggy, you sure do know your stuff! We're going to make it man!"
Piggy moved towards the counter "Keep an on things out here Elephant, I've got some unfinished business with the manager."
Daryl's nose was bleeding heavily. It was probably broken, he thought. It wasn't his fault that there was no access to the safe, banks didn't work that way any more. The guy in the pig mask had really given him a battering, and left him tied in a chair.
"Hey, hey!" said Piggy as he reappeared in the managers office.
Daryl's heart sunk. "Look, if you've got the money from the cashiers draws, then you have it all. Just get out of here!"
"Ah, you'd like that, wouldn't would? But I need to know why you set off the alarm. All of this could have been over long ago, but you had to try to spoil things, didn't you?"
"I didn't.." started Daryl before having his words smashed back down his throat with a fist.
"I say that you did, and I won't want to hear any different, okay?"
Daryl nodded, spitting out a tooth.
"Even heard the phrase 'you may as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb?'"
Daryl nodded.
"Well, you're going to be my sheep Mr Manager."
Piggy picked up a small ball of elastic bands from the desk, many hours had gone into it's creation, and shoved it in Daryl's mouth. Piggy then placed a gag over Daryl's mouth "Comfortable?" he asked
Daryl shook his head.
"Keep still Daryl, it'll be over in a second." Said Piggy as he pulled a knife from his jacket pocket. He gently stoked the contours of Daryl's face with the knife, before plunging it deep into the eye socket.
Daryl's head slumped against the table, and Piggy laughed, before checking his watch.
"It's time!" As he pushed open the door back into the main part of the bank. He moved over to Helen and grabbed her hair, pulling her up.
"Name?" he asked.
"Helen" she replied
"Helen, how does it feel that the good people that run this city care more for money than the lives of you people."
"It blows." Replied Helen, with a smile.
"I like you Helen. I hope they call before I have to kill you. Go on, stand by the door open it and wait, we'll give them a chance to stop this."
Helen couldn't believe what she was seeing in front of her. Barricades with dozens of police vehicles behind them, one man with a microphone shouting inaudible things, and strangest of all, a man in a mouse mask holding two hotdogs.
Helen shook her head, and was able to make out the voice on the megaphone.
"We understand that this 'mouse' is a friend of yours. He brings food, and would like to join you, what do you say about that?"
Elephant man peered out of the window. "It's mouse! I knew he wouldn't forget about us!"
Piggy looked at Helen. "What food does he got?"
"Looks like hotdogs" replied Helen, feeling rather faint.
"Tell them we'll let him through Helen, then come back in for a moment. I'm bloody starving."
"He says that it's okay!" shouted Helen, before going back inside the bank. Piggy urged her to stand by the counter.
"Mouse, am I ever glad to see you, I'm so hungry, my belly is bleeding!" said Elephant Man.
Mouse tipped his head towards them, before holding out the hotdogs. Elephant Man put down his gun, took the hotdog, and had a bite. "Lovely"
Piggy took the other hotdog, but kept hold of his shotgun. "Woah, this is a biggie!" he said as onions fell out from the roll. He put down his gun to get a better grip.
As soon as the gun hit the floor Mouse sprung into action, punching both Piggy and Elephant man in the face at the same time. He flicked off his mask, whipped handcuffs from his pocket, and cuffed Piggy first, followed by Elephant Man.
Moments later Guy Stevens and his team walked into the building.
"Well done Barnibus! I never knew you had it in you. That was some plan, we could really use a man like you in our team!" said Guy as he placed his hand on Barnibus' shoulder.
Barnibus just looked at Stevens and shook his head. "No thanks, I'm fine as I am." Brushing away Guy Stevens hand and whipping out a cigarette. "Now I'm off to get a hotdog of my own."
In all of the fuss after Barnibus' arrests nobody paid much attention to Helen leaving the building. A police officer asked for contact details, which she falsely supplied. After nobody had noticed her stuffing a large sack into her bag when the mouse had first entered, she wasn't going to have the money taken from her because a police officer took her address.
She looked at her watch as she walked off down the street and cursed when she realised that she would be late to pick Jenny up.
"Can you explain the 5 year gap in your employment history Miss Warton?"
No problems with that one, she pondered, she'd tell them about Jenny, and that she's in full time education now.
"Are you familiar with Microsoft Office?"
Easy, did courses on them all whilst at Schneider & Reed.
"And why did you leave your job at Schneider & Reed?"
The dreaded question that Helen feared more than having a tooth pulled. She could explain the circumstances, the affair with Mr Reed and her humiliation at the hands of Mrs Reed, but that wouldn't go down too well. As prepared as she was for all other lines of questioning, there was no easy way to hide her past mistakes, which they were bound ask about.
Worries about the interview were soon displaced though, when a man wearing an elephant mask and brandishing a shotgun burst through the door.
"Everybody, face down on the ground, NOW!" He cried as he looked around the room.
Helen froze in terror as people dropped first to their knees then onto their stomachs all around her. The man in the elephant mask twirled towards her, his long hair flicking at the sides of the elephant mask, not quite befitting of an elephant. He pointed the gun at Helen, then at the floor, and with a whimper, Helen finally managed to move herself onto her belly.
Another man came into the bank wielding a similar shotgun. This man was in a piggy mask, and held a large sack on his shoulder. He moved behind the counter and ushered the cashiers off of their stomachs to go lie with the customers. As the last of the three cashiers walked past him he grabbed her hair and pulled the shotgun up to her neck.
"Where's the manager" He said, looking round at her name badge, "Kate?"
"Through there!" said Kate, pointing to a nearby door.
"Is he alone?"
"Yes, he's about to interview somebody, but she's not there yet"
As Piggy let Kate go she felt a trickle of urine run down her leg, and an enormous wave of relief. If he'd have asked if she'd set off the alarm, she wasn't sure that she would have been able to lie.
Sergeant Barnibus was just down the road from the bank when he got the call. He'd nipped into a department store to grab himself a new pair of trousers to fit his ever expanding waistline and arrived back at his car just in time to receive the news of the attempted bank robbery. Barnibus wasn't the kind of man to hang around, he flung his new trousers in the back, started the car, shifted it into gear and picked up his radio in one swift motion.
"Barbara, find out how many exits the bank has, and get units in to cover each one, out"
Barnibus was the first to arrive outside the bank, but he knew back-up wasn't far away. On the way over he'd ascertained that there was only one other exit from the bank, via a door into an alley at the back. He wanted to do as much as he possibly could as soon as possible, for soon enough the situation would be removed from his control by some pretentious specialist. Barnibus had a deep-rooted hate for the special divisions, perhaps because he'd never managed to get the transfer he wanted into them whilst he was still young, but now he'd grown into a bitter sergeant.
Helen watched the Elephant Man load wads of notes into the sack that Piggy had left for him. She tried to think of what kind of description she'd give the police of this man. "He was wearing an Elephant mask" just wouldn't cut it. Unless it was permanent, Helen figured that a man with an elephant mask on all of the time would be easy to track down.
She looked at him again, from the shoes up. Tatty white trainers, no obvious brand, so clearly not Nike's. Quite big feet. Blue jeans, muddy at the bottom. Black leather jacket, serious scuffing, ill-fitting. But was he well built, or just fat? Helen couldn't decide. Height, as big as six foot? Helen was never good at judging height, and looking down from the floor made it even more difficult.
She looked around for Piggy, but he was nowhere in site. She figured that he was still behind the door with the manager. With him out of the way, and the Elephant Man busy loading up the money the path to the door was unguarded. Helen looked around the room, and noticed that she wasn't the only one that had had this thought. A man in a suit was moving slowly towards the door, wiggling along on his stomach like a caterpillar. He looked back towards the Elephant Man, who was still busy unloading the cashiers drawers. But as the man was about to rise and make for the door, he was distracted by the sound of feedback coming from a megaphone outside.
Elephant Man looked up, and Piggy ran through the door, leaving a bloody handprint on the counter as he past it on his way to look out of the window.
"Oh, man no! They're here, they're already here!" Said Piggy turning to Elephant Man.
"What? We've only been in a couple of minutes, haven't we? Are there many out there?"
"A couple of police cars. They've already set up barricades."
"Wasn't Mouse supposed to give us a toot if he saw any trouble?"
"He probably bricked it, I'm gonna kill him when we get out of here."
"Perhaps they got him? I mean, a man sitting wearing a mouse mask is kinda suspicious, isn't it?"
"I told that stupid freak to take that thing off. He's dead, he's bloody dead."
Before they could continue their conversation the megaphone inturpted them again.
"We have you surrounded. There is no escape. Come out with your hands in the air."
"Like you just don't care!" Added Piggy. "You think we can take those out?"
"You're kidding, right?" asked Elephant Man as he peered out of the window, "There are more turning up every damn second!"
Barnibus turned to Guy Stevens. "Sorry about the microphone, I don't know why it did that."
"Forget it Barnibus, those things are always playing up." Replied Steve.
"So what's the situation now?"
"Well we give them a minute to respond. We've got a live feed from one of the bank's cameras that they failed to disable. They're wearing masks, looks like one is a pig, and the other is an elephant. They look like amateurs, don't even seem to have a getaway vehicle." Steve stopped to put on his sunglasses. "You can get out of here if you like. My Special Ops boys can take care of it." Said Steve, tugging at the peak of his cap.
Barnibus looked at Guy with contempt. "I'll hang around, if it's all the same to you."
Barnibus looked across the square, which was now flooded with nosy shoppers trying to get a look at the action. Through this sea of faces Barnibus spotted a familiar site, the cabin of 'Steve's Sausage Co.' As he wasn't required to deal with the bank job, he thought he might as well treat himself. He needed a hotdog to make him feel better, he didn't even get credit for making sure the back entrances were covered, or for getting there so quickly.
Barnibus forgot about the hotdog before he reached 'Steve's Sausage Co' though when he spotted a giant mouse peering from behind a hedge.
"How about we give ourselves up?" suggested the Elephant Man.
"How about we execute some of these sheep, show them we mean business." Replied Piggy, pushing his head right against the Elephant Man's. "We can push them out the door, them shoot them in the back of the head. BOOM!"
Piggy began to laugh, pointing the gun at various people that were now trying to cover their heads, as if their hands could stop shotgun shells. Piggy was laughing so hard that he almost didn't hear the phone ringing.
"Pick up the phone" said the voice of the megaphone.
"Do you think we should answer it?" asked the Elephant Man
"No." Replied Piggy "I think I should answer it. You'll make us look like a couple of pansies. Bring it here."
The Elephant Man grabbed the ringing phone and took it to Piggy without answering it.
"Hello, South West Bank, how can I be of assistance" Said Piggy, putting on the most polite voice he could manage.
"You can come out of the bank with your hands up"
"I'm afraid that ain't gonna happen"
"One way or another you're living that bank, come towards the window and see how many of us there are. You'll see that you cannot win."
"No? Well who am I speaking to here, I like to know these things."
"Guy Stevens, Special Ops"
"Well Guy, let me tell you this. Unless you want a bloodbath on your hands, I suggest you find a way out of this for us."
Piggy slammed down the phone as The Elephant Man approached the window.
"Get down!" cried Piggy.
As the Elephant Man turned towards Piggy a bullet whizzed through the window and just past his head, embedding itself in the floor near to Helen.
"Jesus Christ, that could have killed me!" Said the Elephant man as he ducked to the floor.
"Right, let's slaughter some of the cattle" Said Piggy.
He ushered the man in the suit to get up. His suit was wrinkled after his caterpillar stunt that so nearly saw his escape from the bank.
"So, asked Piggy. "What's your name?"
"H..H..Harry"
"What, not just Harry? How does it feel to know that in your final moments, you sounded like a r..r..retard?"
Piggy looked at Harry, poking him with the shotgun. "No, don't answer, you'll only make yourself sound worse. "Now Harry, I want you to walk out of the bank."
Harry sobbed as he walked forward.
"Piggy, no" said the Elephant Man, but with no real conviction.
As Harry pushed the door open Piggy fired the shotgun.
Harry fell through the door, leaving half of his right leg behind.
"Don't worry, he'll live, had to show them we're serious" said Piggy.
"But how the hell is killing people going to help?" Asked Elephant Man
"They'll know we mean business. They don't want anyone to die, so they'll make a bargain with us."
The phone began to ring again. Piggy answered "Yes?"
"We're going to send some men to pick up the guy you just shot. Will you let us do that?"
"Sure, but you mess around, more people will get shot."
"Okay. We're sending men right now."
"So, are you beginning to see a way out of this for us?"
"I'm sure we can sort something out, just don't shoot anyone else."
"Well we're going to be needing more money, another couple of million, and safe passage out to France. You see if you can arrange that for us. You have ten minutes."
Piggy put down the phone.
"You asked for more money? Cool!" said Elephant Man.
"They'll give us it as well. I've seen the movies. They'll do anything to save the people, get us away from them. But then they'll try to isolate us, and shoot us. So we take hostages all the way to France."
"But France, why France? It's full of the French?"
"Nearest place, we'll move around from there, make it harder for them to track us. If we start in the south of Spain, they'll always know where we are and stuff."
"Wow Piggy, you sure do know your stuff! We're going to make it man!"
Piggy moved towards the counter "Keep an on things out here Elephant, I've got some unfinished business with the manager."
Daryl's nose was bleeding heavily. It was probably broken, he thought. It wasn't his fault that there was no access to the safe, banks didn't work that way any more. The guy in the pig mask had really given him a battering, and left him tied in a chair.
"Hey, hey!" said Piggy as he reappeared in the managers office.
Daryl's heart sunk. "Look, if you've got the money from the cashiers draws, then you have it all. Just get out of here!"
"Ah, you'd like that, wouldn't would? But I need to know why you set off the alarm. All of this could have been over long ago, but you had to try to spoil things, didn't you?"
"I didn't.." started Daryl before having his words smashed back down his throat with a fist.
"I say that you did, and I won't want to hear any different, okay?"
Daryl nodded, spitting out a tooth.
"Even heard the phrase 'you may as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb?'"
Daryl nodded.
"Well, you're going to be my sheep Mr Manager."
Piggy picked up a small ball of elastic bands from the desk, many hours had gone into it's creation, and shoved it in Daryl's mouth. Piggy then placed a gag over Daryl's mouth "Comfortable?" he asked
Daryl shook his head.
"Keep still Daryl, it'll be over in a second." Said Piggy as he pulled a knife from his jacket pocket. He gently stoked the contours of Daryl's face with the knife, before plunging it deep into the eye socket.
Daryl's head slumped against the table, and Piggy laughed, before checking his watch.
"It's time!" As he pushed open the door back into the main part of the bank. He moved over to Helen and grabbed her hair, pulling her up.
"Name?" he asked.
"Helen" she replied
"Helen, how does it feel that the good people that run this city care more for money than the lives of you people."
"It blows." Replied Helen, with a smile.
"I like you Helen. I hope they call before I have to kill you. Go on, stand by the door open it and wait, we'll give them a chance to stop this."
Helen couldn't believe what she was seeing in front of her. Barricades with dozens of police vehicles behind them, one man with a microphone shouting inaudible things, and strangest of all, a man in a mouse mask holding two hotdogs.
Helen shook her head, and was able to make out the voice on the megaphone.
"We understand that this 'mouse' is a friend of yours. He brings food, and would like to join you, what do you say about that?"
Elephant man peered out of the window. "It's mouse! I knew he wouldn't forget about us!"
Piggy looked at Helen. "What food does he got?"
"Looks like hotdogs" replied Helen, feeling rather faint.
"Tell them we'll let him through Helen, then come back in for a moment. I'm bloody starving."
"He says that it's okay!" shouted Helen, before going back inside the bank. Piggy urged her to stand by the counter.
"Mouse, am I ever glad to see you, I'm so hungry, my belly is bleeding!" said Elephant Man.
Mouse tipped his head towards them, before holding out the hotdogs. Elephant Man put down his gun, took the hotdog, and had a bite. "Lovely"
Piggy took the other hotdog, but kept hold of his shotgun. "Woah, this is a biggie!" he said as onions fell out from the roll. He put down his gun to get a better grip.
As soon as the gun hit the floor Mouse sprung into action, punching both Piggy and Elephant man in the face at the same time. He flicked off his mask, whipped handcuffs from his pocket, and cuffed Piggy first, followed by Elephant Man.
Moments later Guy Stevens and his team walked into the building.
"Well done Barnibus! I never knew you had it in you. That was some plan, we could really use a man like you in our team!" said Guy as he placed his hand on Barnibus' shoulder.
Barnibus just looked at Stevens and shook his head. "No thanks, I'm fine as I am." Brushing away Guy Stevens hand and whipping out a cigarette. "Now I'm off to get a hotdog of my own."
In all of the fuss after Barnibus' arrests nobody paid much attention to Helen leaving the building. A police officer asked for contact details, which she falsely supplied. After nobody had noticed her stuffing a large sack into her bag when the mouse had first entered, she wasn't going to have the money taken from her because a police officer took her address.
She looked at her watch as she walked off down the street and cursed when she realised that she would be late to pick Jenny up.
I would hate to be stabbed in the eye
Thanks for the kind words guys.
Especially pb, because I'd so love for my writing to make me famous. Yesh, TV interviews, sneeky snapshots in Hello, peolle giving my dodgy haircuts attention, yeah, that's for me. :o)
Anyway, as I'm currently a junction further on the beer train than tipsy, let me give you an insight into the development in this story.
First of all, this is a first draft. If I want to submit it to competitions, it'll get a little work, including the addition of the necessary profanity for the situation.
Secondly, I'd like to have you know what I had as a starting point. I had Barnibus, the Sergeant, a bit of a struggler, who saved the day. Initially it was going to be donuts, not hotdogs too, but I thought that the use of alliteraition (illiteration?) was too good to pass up in the title.
Helen came into the story as a starting point. I like the way that the first line ties in with the last, and I can use Helen throughout the story to descr8ibe events from an outside angle.
This is also the first itme I've tried to take a story from multiple points of vies, taking it from inside the bank to out.
The masks came to me on the spot, but I thought that the names 'Piggy' and 'the Elephant Man' worked especially well. I alsop felt I was able to givbe Piggy a strong character, commanding the situation, and Elephant Man just going along with it.
The conclusions was also also came to me as the story progressed. One of the best things I've rea don writing was indeed in Stephen King's 'On Writing'. I can't remeber the exact words (that'll be the beer!) but it was along the lines of@:
One of the most fun aspects of writing is seeing where your characters will take you"
I totally agree with this. I don't entirely agree with the concept of developing the plot firt. If your characters are strong enough, they'll take the story along themselves. Just look at the way that Piggy kille dDaryl. That wasn't planned, he just did it.
This is perhaps why I wasn't so sure of the 'Mouse' ending. I think now that perhaps The Elephant Man could have risen up, insisting that 'Mouse' came in. I'm not sure that it's entirely believable that Piggy let's Mouse in. That's why he initially kept hold of the gun.
I'm not sure that the very last lines, Helen's thieving of the money, is well written either. This too came to me late, and I was up against time in finishing the story.
But thanks to all of your comments, I'm now motivated to take this story on. Build upon it, take it to competition standard.
So thanks again. :o)
Especially pb, because I'd so love for my writing to make me famous. Yesh, TV interviews, sneeky snapshots in Hello, peolle giving my dodgy haircuts attention, yeah, that's for me. :o)
Anyway, as I'm currently a junction further on the beer train than tipsy, let me give you an insight into the development in this story.
First of all, this is a first draft. If I want to submit it to competitions, it'll get a little work, including the addition of the necessary profanity for the situation.
Secondly, I'd like to have you know what I had as a starting point. I had Barnibus, the Sergeant, a bit of a struggler, who saved the day. Initially it was going to be donuts, not hotdogs too, but I thought that the use of alliteraition (illiteration?) was too good to pass up in the title.
Helen came into the story as a starting point. I like the way that the first line ties in with the last, and I can use Helen throughout the story to descr8ibe events from an outside angle.
This is also the first itme I've tried to take a story from multiple points of vies, taking it from inside the bank to out.
The masks came to me on the spot, but I thought that the names 'Piggy' and 'the Elephant Man' worked especially well. I alsop felt I was able to givbe Piggy a strong character, commanding the situation, and Elephant Man just going along with it.
The conclusions was also also came to me as the story progressed. One of the best things I've rea don writing was indeed in Stephen King's 'On Writing'. I can't remeber the exact words (that'll be the beer!) but it was along the lines of@:
One of the most fun aspects of writing is seeing where your characters will take you"
I totally agree with this. I don't entirely agree with the concept of developing the plot firt. If your characters are strong enough, they'll take the story along themselves. Just look at the way that Piggy kille dDaryl. That wasn't planned, he just did it.
This is perhaps why I wasn't so sure of the 'Mouse' ending. I think now that perhaps The Elephant Man could have risen up, insisting that 'Mouse' came in. I'm not sure that it's entirely believable that Piggy let's Mouse in. That's why he initially kept hold of the gun.
I'm not sure that the very last lines, Helen's thieving of the money, is well written either. This too came to me late, and I was up against time in finishing the story.
But thanks to all of your comments, I'm now motivated to take this story on. Build upon it, take it to competition standard.
So thanks again. :o)
Great.
I saw Barnibus's trick as soon as he wanted to come in with food, probably should have got it earlier really.
I couldn't see Helen's bit coming though.
This reminds me, I've still not written most of the stories people gave me ideas for. And I've got to either write a story or choose one of my others for a college competition. And then there's next week's Writelink thing...
I saw Barnibus's trick as soon as he wanted to come in with food, probably should have got it earlier really.
I couldn't see Helen's bit coming though.
This reminds me, I've still not written most of the stories people gave me ideas for. And I've got to either write a story or choose one of my others for a college competition. And then there's next week's Writelink thing...
That was a great read.
A Fantastic one.
I wish I could get the momentum to write something like that.
Everytime I start, I get distracted.
Ah, yes.
Very nice ending.
A Fantastic one.
I wish I could get the momentum to write something like that.
Everytime I start, I get distracted.
Ah, yes.
Very nice ending.
Look, would you stop writing these stories. I've already told you that they're going to get you in to trouble one of these days. Well, don't come running to me when you're famous and appearing on Parky. I warned you. ;-)
Nice read, thanks
Nice, cool ending.
Had the image of 'Dog Day Afternoon' but a couple of neds in some crap British street
Cool
Had the image of 'Dog Day Afternoon' but a couple of neds in some crap British street
Cool
For perhaps the first time in her life, Helen was on time. She glanced at her watch as she approached the thick glass door of the bank. There were still 15 minutes before her interview was supposed to begin. She smiled as she approached the Customer Service desk, running potential questions through her mind.
"Can you explain the 5 year gap in your employment history Miss Warton?"
No problems with that one, she pondered, she'd tell them about Jenny, and that she's in full time education now.
"Are you familiar with Microsoft Office?"
Easy, did courses on them all whilst at Schneider & Reed.
"And why did you leave your job at Schneider & Reed?"
The dreaded question that Helen feared more than having a tooth pulled. She could explain the circumstances, the affair with Mr Reed and her humiliation at the hands of Mrs Reed, but that wouldn't go down too well. As prepared as she was for all other lines of questioning, there was no easy way to hide her past mistakes, which they were bound ask about.
Worries about the interview were soon displaced though, when a man wearing an elephant mask and brandishing a shotgun burst through the door.
"Everybody, face down on the ground, NOW!" He cried as he looked around the room.
Helen froze in terror as people dropped first to their knees then onto their stomachs all around her. The man in the elephant mask twirled towards her, his long hair flicking at the sides of the elephant mask, not quite befitting of an elephant. He pointed the gun at Helen, then at the floor, and with a whimper, Helen finally managed to move herself onto her belly.
Another man came into the bank wielding a similar shotgun. This man was in a piggy mask, and held a large sack on his shoulder. He moved behind the counter and ushered the cashiers off of their stomachs to go lie with the customers. As the last of the three cashiers walked past him he grabbed her hair and pulled the shotgun up to her neck.
"Where's the manager" He said, looking round at her name badge, "Kate?"
"Through there!" said Kate, pointing to a nearby door.
"Is he alone?"
"Yes, he's about to interview somebody, but she's not there yet"
As Piggy let Kate go she felt a trickle of urine run down her leg, and an enormous wave of relief. If he'd have asked if she'd set off the alarm, she wasn't sure that she would have been able to lie.
Sergeant Barnibus was just down the road from the bank when he got the call. He'd nipped into a department store to grab himself a new pair of trousers to fit his ever expanding waistline and arrived back at his car just in time to receive the news of the attempted bank robbery. Barnibus wasn't the kind of man to hang around, he flung his new trousers in the back, started the car, shifted it into gear and picked up his radio in one swift motion.
"Barbara, find out how many exits the bank has, and get units in to cover each one, out"
Barnibus was the first to arrive outside the bank, but he knew back-up wasn't far away. On the way over he'd ascertained that there was only one other exit from the bank, via a door into an alley at the back. He wanted to do as much as he possibly could as soon as possible, for soon enough the situation would be removed from his control by some pretentious specialist. Barnibus had a deep-rooted hate for the special divisions, perhaps because he'd never managed to get the transfer he wanted into them whilst he was still young, but now he'd grown into a bitter sergeant.
Helen watched the Elephant Man load wads of notes into the sack that Piggy had left for him. She tried to think of what kind of description she'd give the police of this man. "He was wearing an Elephant mask" just wouldn't cut it. Unless it was permanent, Helen figured that a man with an elephant mask on all of the time would be easy to track down.
She looked at him again, from the shoes up. Tatty white trainers, no obvious brand, so clearly not Nike's. Quite big feet. Blue jeans, muddy at the bottom. Black leather jacket, serious scuffing, ill-fitting. But was he well built, or just fat? Helen couldn't decide. Height, as big as six foot? Helen was never good at judging height, and looking down from the floor made it even more difficult.
She looked around for Piggy, but he was nowhere in site. She figured that he was still behind the door with the manager. With him out of the way, and the Elephant Man busy loading up the money the path to the door was unguarded. Helen looked around the room, and noticed that she wasn't the only one that had had this thought. A man in a suit was moving slowly towards the door, wiggling along on his stomach like a caterpillar. He looked back towards the Elephant Man, who was still busy unloading the cashiers drawers. But as the man was about to rise and make for the door, he was distracted by the sound of feedback coming from a megaphone outside.
Elephant Man looked up, and Piggy ran through the door, leaving a bloody handprint on the counter as he past it on his way to look out of the window.
"Oh, man no! They're here, they're already here!" Said Piggy turning to Elephant Man.
"What? We've only been in a couple of minutes, haven't we? Are there many out there?"
"A couple of police cars. They've already set up barricades."
"Wasn't Mouse supposed to give us a toot if he saw any trouble?"
"He probably bricked it, I'm gonna kill him when we get out of here."
"Perhaps they got him? I mean, a man sitting wearing a mouse mask is kinda suspicious, isn't it?"
"I told that stupid freak to take that thing off. He's dead, he's bloody dead."
Before they could continue their conversation the megaphone inturpted them again.
"We have you surrounded. There is no escape. Come out with your hands in the air."
"Like you just don't care!" Added Piggy. "You think we can take those out?"
"You're kidding, right?" asked Elephant Man as he peered out of the window, "There are more turning up every damn second!"
Barnibus turned to Guy Stevens. "Sorry about the microphone, I don't know why it did that."
"Forget it Barnibus, those things are always playing up." Replied Steve.
"So what's the situation now?"
"Well we give them a minute to respond. We've got a live feed from one of the bank's cameras that they failed to disable. They're wearing masks, looks like one is a pig, and the other is an elephant. They look like amateurs, don't even seem to have a getaway vehicle." Steve stopped to put on his sunglasses. "You can get out of here if you like. My Special Ops boys can take care of it." Said Steve, tugging at the peak of his cap.
Barnibus looked at Guy with contempt. "I'll hang around, if it's all the same to you."
Barnibus looked across the square, which was now flooded with nosy shoppers trying to get a look at the action. Through this sea of faces Barnibus spotted a familiar site, the cabin of 'Steve's Sausage Co.' As he wasn't required to deal with the bank job, he thought he might as well treat himself. He needed a hotdog to make him feel better, he didn't even get credit for making sure the back entrances were covered, or for getting there so quickly.
Barnibus forgot about the hotdog before he reached 'Steve's Sausage Co' though when he spotted a giant mouse peering from behind a hedge.
"How about we give ourselves up?" suggested the Elephant Man.
"How about we execute some of these sheep, show them we mean business." Replied Piggy, pushing his head right against the Elephant Man's. "We can push them out the door, them shoot them in the back of the head. BOOM!"
Piggy began to laugh, pointing the gun at various people that were now trying to cover their heads, as if their hands could stop shotgun shells. Piggy was laughing so hard that he almost didn't hear the phone ringing.
"Pick up the phone" said the voice of the megaphone.
"Do you think we should answer it?" asked the Elephant Man
"No." Replied Piggy "I think I should answer it. You'll make us look like a couple of pansies. Bring it here."
The Elephant Man grabbed the ringing phone and took it to Piggy without answering it.
"Hello, South West Bank, how can I be of assistance" Said Piggy, putting on the most polite voice he could manage.
"You can come out of the bank with your hands up"
"I'm afraid that ain't gonna happen"
"One way or another you're living that bank, come towards the window and see how many of us there are. You'll see that you cannot win."
"No? Well who am I speaking to here, I like to know these things."
"Guy Stevens, Special Ops"
"Well Guy, let me tell you this. Unless you want a bloodbath on your hands, I suggest you find a way out of this for us."
Piggy slammed down the phone as The Elephant Man approached the window.
"Get down!" cried Piggy.
As the Elephant Man turned towards Piggy a bullet whizzed through the window and just past his head, embedding itself in the floor near to Helen.
"Jesus Christ, that could have killed me!" Said the Elephant man as he ducked to the floor.
"Right, let's slaughter some of the cattle" Said Piggy.
He ushered the man in the suit to get up. His suit was wrinkled after his caterpillar stunt that so nearly saw his escape from the bank.
"So, asked Piggy. "What's your name?"
"H..H..Harry"
"What, not just Harry? How does it feel to know that in your final moments, you sounded like a r..r..retard?"
Piggy looked at Harry, poking him with the shotgun. "No, don't answer, you'll only make yourself sound worse. "Now Harry, I want you to walk out of the bank."
Harry sobbed as he walked forward.
"Piggy, no" said the Elephant Man, but with no real conviction.
As Harry pushed the door open Piggy fired the shotgun.
Harry fell through the door, leaving half of his right leg behind.
"Don't worry, he'll live, had to show them we're serious" said Piggy.
"But how the hell is killing people going to help?" Asked Elephant Man
"They'll know we mean business. They don't want anyone to die, so they'll make a bargain with us."
The phone began to ring again. Piggy answered "Yes?"
"We're going to send some men to pick up the guy you just shot. Will you let us do that?"
"Sure, but you mess around, more people will get shot."
"Okay. We're sending men right now."
"So, are you beginning to see a way out of this for us?"
"I'm sure we can sort something out, just don't shoot anyone else."
"Well we're going to be needing more money, another couple of million, and safe passage out to France. You see if you can arrange that for us. You have ten minutes."
Piggy put down the phone.
"You asked for more money? Cool!" said Elephant Man.
"They'll give us it as well. I've seen the movies. They'll do anything to save the people, get us away from them. But then they'll try to isolate us, and shoot us. So we take hostages all the way to France."
"But France, why France? It's full of the French?"
"Nearest place, we'll move around from there, make it harder for them to track us. If we start in the south of Spain, they'll always know where we are and stuff."
"Wow Piggy, you sure do know your stuff! We're going to make it man!"
Piggy moved towards the counter "Keep an on things out here Elephant, I've got some unfinished business with the manager."
Daryl's nose was bleeding heavily. It was probably broken, he thought. It wasn't his fault that there was no access to the safe, banks didn't work that way any more. The guy in the pig mask had really given him a battering, and left him tied in a chair.
"Hey, hey!" said Piggy as he reappeared in the managers office.
Daryl's heart sunk. "Look, if you've got the money from the cashiers draws, then you have it all. Just get out of here!"
"Ah, you'd like that, wouldn't would? But I need to know why you set off the alarm. All of this could have been over long ago, but you had to try to spoil things, didn't you?"
"I didn't.." started Daryl before having his words smashed back down his throat with a fist.
"I say that you did, and I won't want to hear any different, okay?"
Daryl nodded, spitting out a tooth.
"Even heard the phrase 'you may as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb?'"
Daryl nodded.
"Well, you're going to be my sheep Mr Manager."
Piggy picked up a small ball of elastic bands from the desk, many hours had gone into it's creation, and shoved it in Daryl's mouth. Piggy then placed a gag over Daryl's mouth "Comfortable?" he asked
Daryl shook his head.
"Keep still Daryl, it'll be over in a second." Said Piggy as he pulled a knife from his jacket pocket. He gently stoked the contours of Daryl's face with the knife, before plunging it deep into the eye socket.
Daryl's head slumped against the table, and Piggy laughed, before checking his watch.
"It's time!" As he pushed open the door back into the main part of the bank. He moved over to Helen and grabbed her hair, pulling her up.
"Name?" he asked.
"Helen" she replied
"Helen, how does it feel that the good people that run this city care more for money than the lives of you people."
"It blows." Replied Helen, with a smile.
"I like you Helen. I hope they call before I have to kill you. Go on, stand by the door open it and wait, we'll give them a chance to stop this."
Helen couldn't believe what she was seeing in front of her. Barricades with dozens of police vehicles behind them, one man with a microphone shouting inaudible things, and strangest of all, a man in a mouse mask holding two hotdogs.
Helen shook her head, and was able to make out the voice on the megaphone.
"We understand that this 'mouse' is a friend of yours. He brings food, and would like to join you, what do you say about that?"
Elephant man peered out of the window. "It's mouse! I knew he wouldn't forget about us!"
Piggy looked at Helen. "What food does he got?"
"Looks like hotdogs" replied Helen, feeling rather faint.
"Tell them we'll let him through Helen, then come back in for a moment. I'm bloody starving."
"He says that it's okay!" shouted Helen, before going back inside the bank. Piggy urged her to stand by the counter.
"Mouse, am I ever glad to see you, I'm so hungry, my belly is bleeding!" said Elephant Man.
Mouse tipped his head towards them, before holding out the hotdogs. Elephant Man put down his gun, took the hotdog, and had a bite. "Lovely"
Piggy took the other hotdog, but kept hold of his shotgun. "Woah, this is a biggie!" he said as onions fell out from the roll. He put down his gun to get a better grip.
As soon as the gun hit the floor Mouse sprung into action, punching both Piggy and Elephant man in the face at the same time. He flicked off his mask, whipped handcuffs from his pocket, and cuffed Piggy first, followed by Elephant Man.
Moments later Guy Stevens and his team walked into the building.
"Well done Barnibus! I never knew you had it in you. That was some plan, we could really use a man like you in our team!" said Guy as he placed his hand on Barnibus' shoulder.
Barnibus just looked at Stevens and shook his head. "No thanks, I'm fine as I am." Brushing away Guy Stevens hand and whipping out a cigarette. "Now I'm off to get a hotdog of my own."
In all of the fuss after Barnibus' arrests nobody paid much attention to Helen leaving the building. A police officer asked for contact details, which she falsely supplied. After nobody had noticed her stuffing a large sack into her bag when the mouse had first entered, she wasn't going to have the money taken from her because a police officer took her address.
She looked at her watch as she walked off down the street and cursed when she realised that she would be late to pick Jenny up.
"Can you explain the 5 year gap in your employment history Miss Warton?"
No problems with that one, she pondered, she'd tell them about Jenny, and that she's in full time education now.
"Are you familiar with Microsoft Office?"
Easy, did courses on them all whilst at Schneider & Reed.
"And why did you leave your job at Schneider & Reed?"
The dreaded question that Helen feared more than having a tooth pulled. She could explain the circumstances, the affair with Mr Reed and her humiliation at the hands of Mrs Reed, but that wouldn't go down too well. As prepared as she was for all other lines of questioning, there was no easy way to hide her past mistakes, which they were bound ask about.
Worries about the interview were soon displaced though, when a man wearing an elephant mask and brandishing a shotgun burst through the door.
"Everybody, face down on the ground, NOW!" He cried as he looked around the room.
Helen froze in terror as people dropped first to their knees then onto their stomachs all around her. The man in the elephant mask twirled towards her, his long hair flicking at the sides of the elephant mask, not quite befitting of an elephant. He pointed the gun at Helen, then at the floor, and with a whimper, Helen finally managed to move herself onto her belly.
Another man came into the bank wielding a similar shotgun. This man was in a piggy mask, and held a large sack on his shoulder. He moved behind the counter and ushered the cashiers off of their stomachs to go lie with the customers. As the last of the three cashiers walked past him he grabbed her hair and pulled the shotgun up to her neck.
"Where's the manager" He said, looking round at her name badge, "Kate?"
"Through there!" said Kate, pointing to a nearby door.
"Is he alone?"
"Yes, he's about to interview somebody, but she's not there yet"
As Piggy let Kate go she felt a trickle of urine run down her leg, and an enormous wave of relief. If he'd have asked if she'd set off the alarm, she wasn't sure that she would have been able to lie.
Sergeant Barnibus was just down the road from the bank when he got the call. He'd nipped into a department store to grab himself a new pair of trousers to fit his ever expanding waistline and arrived back at his car just in time to receive the news of the attempted bank robbery. Barnibus wasn't the kind of man to hang around, he flung his new trousers in the back, started the car, shifted it into gear and picked up his radio in one swift motion.
"Barbara, find out how many exits the bank has, and get units in to cover each one, out"
Barnibus was the first to arrive outside the bank, but he knew back-up wasn't far away. On the way over he'd ascertained that there was only one other exit from the bank, via a door into an alley at the back. He wanted to do as much as he possibly could as soon as possible, for soon enough the situation would be removed from his control by some pretentious specialist. Barnibus had a deep-rooted hate for the special divisions, perhaps because he'd never managed to get the transfer he wanted into them whilst he was still young, but now he'd grown into a bitter sergeant.
Helen watched the Elephant Man load wads of notes into the sack that Piggy had left for him. She tried to think of what kind of description she'd give the police of this man. "He was wearing an Elephant mask" just wouldn't cut it. Unless it was permanent, Helen figured that a man with an elephant mask on all of the time would be easy to track down.
She looked at him again, from the shoes up. Tatty white trainers, no obvious brand, so clearly not Nike's. Quite big feet. Blue jeans, muddy at the bottom. Black leather jacket, serious scuffing, ill-fitting. But was he well built, or just fat? Helen couldn't decide. Height, as big as six foot? Helen was never good at judging height, and looking down from the floor made it even more difficult.
She looked around for Piggy, but he was nowhere in site. She figured that he was still behind the door with the manager. With him out of the way, and the Elephant Man busy loading up the money the path to the door was unguarded. Helen looked around the room, and noticed that she wasn't the only one that had had this thought. A man in a suit was moving slowly towards the door, wiggling along on his stomach like a caterpillar. He looked back towards the Elephant Man, who was still busy unloading the cashiers drawers. But as the man was about to rise and make for the door, he was distracted by the sound of feedback coming from a megaphone outside.
Elephant Man looked up, and Piggy ran through the door, leaving a bloody handprint on the counter as he past it on his way to look out of the window.
"Oh, man no! They're here, they're already here!" Said Piggy turning to Elephant Man.
"What? We've only been in a couple of minutes, haven't we? Are there many out there?"
"A couple of police cars. They've already set up barricades."
"Wasn't Mouse supposed to give us a toot if he saw any trouble?"
"He probably bricked it, I'm gonna kill him when we get out of here."
"Perhaps they got him? I mean, a man sitting wearing a mouse mask is kinda suspicious, isn't it?"
"I told that stupid freak to take that thing off. He's dead, he's bloody dead."
Before they could continue their conversation the megaphone inturpted them again.
"We have you surrounded. There is no escape. Come out with your hands in the air."
"Like you just don't care!" Added Piggy. "You think we can take those out?"
"You're kidding, right?" asked Elephant Man as he peered out of the window, "There are more turning up every damn second!"
Barnibus turned to Guy Stevens. "Sorry about the microphone, I don't know why it did that."
"Forget it Barnibus, those things are always playing up." Replied Steve.
"So what's the situation now?"
"Well we give them a minute to respond. We've got a live feed from one of the bank's cameras that they failed to disable. They're wearing masks, looks like one is a pig, and the other is an elephant. They look like amateurs, don't even seem to have a getaway vehicle." Steve stopped to put on his sunglasses. "You can get out of here if you like. My Special Ops boys can take care of it." Said Steve, tugging at the peak of his cap.
Barnibus looked at Guy with contempt. "I'll hang around, if it's all the same to you."
Barnibus looked across the square, which was now flooded with nosy shoppers trying to get a look at the action. Through this sea of faces Barnibus spotted a familiar site, the cabin of 'Steve's Sausage Co.' As he wasn't required to deal with the bank job, he thought he might as well treat himself. He needed a hotdog to make him feel better, he didn't even get credit for making sure the back entrances were covered, or for getting there so quickly.
Barnibus forgot about the hotdog before he reached 'Steve's Sausage Co' though when he spotted a giant mouse peering from behind a hedge.
"How about we give ourselves up?" suggested the Elephant Man.
"How about we execute some of these sheep, show them we mean business." Replied Piggy, pushing his head right against the Elephant Man's. "We can push them out the door, them shoot them in the back of the head. BOOM!"
Piggy began to laugh, pointing the gun at various people that were now trying to cover their heads, as if their hands could stop shotgun shells. Piggy was laughing so hard that he almost didn't hear the phone ringing.
"Pick up the phone" said the voice of the megaphone.
"Do you think we should answer it?" asked the Elephant Man
"No." Replied Piggy "I think I should answer it. You'll make us look like a couple of pansies. Bring it here."
The Elephant Man grabbed the ringing phone and took it to Piggy without answering it.
"Hello, South West Bank, how can I be of assistance" Said Piggy, putting on the most polite voice he could manage.
"You can come out of the bank with your hands up"
"I'm afraid that ain't gonna happen"
"One way or another you're living that bank, come towards the window and see how many of us there are. You'll see that you cannot win."
"No? Well who am I speaking to here, I like to know these things."
"Guy Stevens, Special Ops"
"Well Guy, let me tell you this. Unless you want a bloodbath on your hands, I suggest you find a way out of this for us."
Piggy slammed down the phone as The Elephant Man approached the window.
"Get down!" cried Piggy.
As the Elephant Man turned towards Piggy a bullet whizzed through the window and just past his head, embedding itself in the floor near to Helen.
"Jesus Christ, that could have killed me!" Said the Elephant man as he ducked to the floor.
"Right, let's slaughter some of the cattle" Said Piggy.
He ushered the man in the suit to get up. His suit was wrinkled after his caterpillar stunt that so nearly saw his escape from the bank.
"So, asked Piggy. "What's your name?"
"H..H..Harry"
"What, not just Harry? How does it feel to know that in your final moments, you sounded like a r..r..retard?"
Piggy looked at Harry, poking him with the shotgun. "No, don't answer, you'll only make yourself sound worse. "Now Harry, I want you to walk out of the bank."
Harry sobbed as he walked forward.
"Piggy, no" said the Elephant Man, but with no real conviction.
As Harry pushed the door open Piggy fired the shotgun.
Harry fell through the door, leaving half of his right leg behind.
"Don't worry, he'll live, had to show them we're serious" said Piggy.
"But how the hell is killing people going to help?" Asked Elephant Man
"They'll know we mean business. They don't want anyone to die, so they'll make a bargain with us."
The phone began to ring again. Piggy answered "Yes?"
"We're going to send some men to pick up the guy you just shot. Will you let us do that?"
"Sure, but you mess around, more people will get shot."
"Okay. We're sending men right now."
"So, are you beginning to see a way out of this for us?"
"I'm sure we can sort something out, just don't shoot anyone else."
"Well we're going to be needing more money, another couple of million, and safe passage out to France. You see if you can arrange that for us. You have ten minutes."
Piggy put down the phone.
"You asked for more money? Cool!" said Elephant Man.
"They'll give us it as well. I've seen the movies. They'll do anything to save the people, get us away from them. But then they'll try to isolate us, and shoot us. So we take hostages all the way to France."
"But France, why France? It's full of the French?"
"Nearest place, we'll move around from there, make it harder for them to track us. If we start in the south of Spain, they'll always know where we are and stuff."
"Wow Piggy, you sure do know your stuff! We're going to make it man!"
Piggy moved towards the counter "Keep an on things out here Elephant, I've got some unfinished business with the manager."
Daryl's nose was bleeding heavily. It was probably broken, he thought. It wasn't his fault that there was no access to the safe, banks didn't work that way any more. The guy in the pig mask had really given him a battering, and left him tied in a chair.
"Hey, hey!" said Piggy as he reappeared in the managers office.
Daryl's heart sunk. "Look, if you've got the money from the cashiers draws, then you have it all. Just get out of here!"
"Ah, you'd like that, wouldn't would? But I need to know why you set off the alarm. All of this could have been over long ago, but you had to try to spoil things, didn't you?"
"I didn't.." started Daryl before having his words smashed back down his throat with a fist.
"I say that you did, and I won't want to hear any different, okay?"
Daryl nodded, spitting out a tooth.
"Even heard the phrase 'you may as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb?'"
Daryl nodded.
"Well, you're going to be my sheep Mr Manager."
Piggy picked up a small ball of elastic bands from the desk, many hours had gone into it's creation, and shoved it in Daryl's mouth. Piggy then placed a gag over Daryl's mouth "Comfortable?" he asked
Daryl shook his head.
"Keep still Daryl, it'll be over in a second." Said Piggy as he pulled a knife from his jacket pocket. He gently stoked the contours of Daryl's face with the knife, before plunging it deep into the eye socket.
Daryl's head slumped against the table, and Piggy laughed, before checking his watch.
"It's time!" As he pushed open the door back into the main part of the bank. He moved over to Helen and grabbed her hair, pulling her up.
"Name?" he asked.
"Helen" she replied
"Helen, how does it feel that the good people that run this city care more for money than the lives of you people."
"It blows." Replied Helen, with a smile.
"I like you Helen. I hope they call before I have to kill you. Go on, stand by the door open it and wait, we'll give them a chance to stop this."
Helen couldn't believe what she was seeing in front of her. Barricades with dozens of police vehicles behind them, one man with a microphone shouting inaudible things, and strangest of all, a man in a mouse mask holding two hotdogs.
Helen shook her head, and was able to make out the voice on the megaphone.
"We understand that this 'mouse' is a friend of yours. He brings food, and would like to join you, what do you say about that?"
Elephant man peered out of the window. "It's mouse! I knew he wouldn't forget about us!"
Piggy looked at Helen. "What food does he got?"
"Looks like hotdogs" replied Helen, feeling rather faint.
"Tell them we'll let him through Helen, then come back in for a moment. I'm bloody starving."
"He says that it's okay!" shouted Helen, before going back inside the bank. Piggy urged her to stand by the counter.
"Mouse, am I ever glad to see you, I'm so hungry, my belly is bleeding!" said Elephant Man.
Mouse tipped his head towards them, before holding out the hotdogs. Elephant Man put down his gun, took the hotdog, and had a bite. "Lovely"
Piggy took the other hotdog, but kept hold of his shotgun. "Woah, this is a biggie!" he said as onions fell out from the roll. He put down his gun to get a better grip.
As soon as the gun hit the floor Mouse sprung into action, punching both Piggy and Elephant man in the face at the same time. He flicked off his mask, whipped handcuffs from his pocket, and cuffed Piggy first, followed by Elephant Man.
Moments later Guy Stevens and his team walked into the building.
"Well done Barnibus! I never knew you had it in you. That was some plan, we could really use a man like you in our team!" said Guy as he placed his hand on Barnibus' shoulder.
Barnibus just looked at Stevens and shook his head. "No thanks, I'm fine as I am." Brushing away Guy Stevens hand and whipping out a cigarette. "Now I'm off to get a hotdog of my own."
In all of the fuss after Barnibus' arrests nobody paid much attention to Helen leaving the building. A police officer asked for contact details, which she falsely supplied. After nobody had noticed her stuffing a large sack into her bag when the mouse had first entered, she wasn't going to have the money taken from her because a police officer took her address.
She looked at her watch as she walked off down the street and cursed when she realised that she would be late to pick Jenny up.