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Food for thought:
Economists have advised contestants who are considering entry into the forthcoming “eat yourself for charity” event, to remember the law of diminishing return. Some Scientists and a couple of wags have also instructed them to eat around their stomachs, else they’ll never finish the task. One contestant, Gary Bloat from Sloatingham, has insisted that the event is all in good fun “for me the chance to lose weight and raise money for “The Help a Spoilt Child to have an even better Christmas foundation” is worth any amount of tribulation”.
When challenged: what will be going through his mind, when he is dislocating his own jaw in an attempt to eat his own face off, he quipped “my teeth! But in all seriousness, what will keep me going is the thought that a rich kid may not have every Buffy DVD boxset that thet had requested and may cry or even throw a tantrum. In this day and age with starving kids and all, we shouldn’t have to let any kid down”.
The controversial event may sound macabre but in 1997 two fat ladies ate an entire episode of the Bill; the one where Reg made a funny. This took them a staggering 10000 hours from action! to cut!, though they were cheered on by Bodmin’s Beaver Cub Pack and Junior SAS. An earlier attempt to eat Blue Peter was abandoned when children rang up the live show (which was the first ever show to show a live show being eaten live, live I think) to warn the ladies that a lethargic tortoise was packed into a box in the studio somewhere hibernating. The RSPCA later fielded many complaints claiming that the ladies had consumed three BP pets before the warning came, one of which, Patch, was eaten using chopsticks and took hours to dissect into manageable chunks.
However the most spectacular and also disputed eating boast, was issued from Tubby Tommy Tuckerbushman, 67, who claimed to have eaten Atlantis. In an interview before his mysterious boating accident only 800 miles from the Bermuda Triangle (if you looked at it from his angle), in the English Channel, was quoted as saying that “the mermen and merbirds were quite tasty but very bony, the buildings made of kelp and Kellogs Crunchy Nut Cornflakes were soggy and therefore repugnant”. He added “the city was quite salty and stank of wee”. Bournemouth Council have refuted his claim, clamming up when pressed but open to suggestion after 10am. A spokesman for the council, Clr Martha, who did not want to be quoted or named or born a man, said “Atlantis? That’s in the USA which is next to America and filled with Canadians and Igloos”.
Indeed it is, indeed it is.
Economists have advised contestants who are considering entry into the forthcoming “eat yourself for charity” event, to remember the law of diminishing return. Some Scientists and a couple of wags have also instructed them to eat around their stomachs, else they’ll never finish the task. One contestant, Gary Bloat from Sloatingham, has insisted that the event is all in good fun “for me the chance to lose weight and raise money for “The Help a Spoilt Child to have an even better Christmas foundation” is worth any amount of tribulation”.
When challenged: what will be going through his mind, when he is dislocating his own jaw in an attempt to eat his own face off, he quipped “my teeth! But in all seriousness, what will keep me going is the thought that a rich kid may not have every Buffy DVD boxset that thet had requested and may cry or even throw a tantrum. In this day and age with starving kids and all, we shouldn’t have to let any kid down”.
The controversial event may sound macabre but in 1997 two fat ladies ate an entire episode of the Bill; the one where Reg made a funny. This took them a staggering 10000 hours from action! to cut!, though they were cheered on by Bodmin’s Beaver Cub Pack and Junior SAS. An earlier attempt to eat Blue Peter was abandoned when children rang up the live show (which was the first ever show to show a live show being eaten live, live I think) to warn the ladies that a lethargic tortoise was packed into a box in the studio somewhere hibernating. The RSPCA later fielded many complaints claiming that the ladies had consumed three BP pets before the warning came, one of which, Patch, was eaten using chopsticks and took hours to dissect into manageable chunks.
However the most spectacular and also disputed eating boast, was issued from Tubby Tommy Tuckerbushman, 67, who claimed to have eaten Atlantis. In an interview before his mysterious boating accident only 800 miles from the Bermuda Triangle (if you looked at it from his angle), in the English Channel, was quoted as saying that “the mermen and merbirds were quite tasty but very bony, the buildings made of kelp and Kellogs Crunchy Nut Cornflakes were soggy and therefore repugnant”. He added “the city was quite salty and stank of wee”. Bournemouth Council have refuted his claim, clamming up when pressed but open to suggestion after 10am. A spokesman for the council, Clr Martha, who did not want to be quoted or named or born a man, said “Atlantis? That’s in the USA which is next to America and filled with Canadians and Igloos”.
Indeed it is, indeed it is.
Darn witty :)
Remember that French guy with two sets of teeth who ate small aeroplanes.....
Remember that French guy with two sets of teeth who ate small aeroplanes.....
Did anyone say GAD?
*honour
Careful with the americanisms there.
Careful with the americanisms there.
gerrid wrote:
> "The controversial event may sound macabre but in 1997 two fat
> ladies ate an entire episode of the Bill; the one where Reg made a
> funny."
>
> Genius of the highest order.
> It makes me weep.
me to, hats of to you sir, you do an honor to your country
> "The controversial event may sound macabre but in 1997 two fat
> ladies ate an entire episode of the Bill; the one where Reg made a
> funny."
>
> Genius of the highest order.
> It makes me weep.
me to, hats of to you sir, you do an honor to your country
"The controversial event may sound macabre but in 1997 two fat ladies ate an entire episode of the Bill; the one where Reg made a funny."
Genius of the highest order.
It makes me weep.
Genius of the highest order.
It makes me weep.
LOL!
Very good.
Enjoyed that!
Very good.
Enjoyed that!
Food for thought:
Economists have advised contestants who are considering entry into the forthcoming “eat yourself for charity” event, to remember the law of diminishing return. Some Scientists and a couple of wags have also instructed them to eat around their stomachs, else they’ll never finish the task. One contestant, Gary Bloat from Sloatingham, has insisted that the event is all in good fun “for me the chance to lose weight and raise money for “The Help a Spoilt Child to have an even better Christmas foundation” is worth any amount of tribulation”.
When challenged: what will be going through his mind, when he is dislocating his own jaw in an attempt to eat his own face off, he quipped “my teeth! But in all seriousness, what will keep me going is the thought that a rich kid may not have every Buffy DVD boxset that thet had requested and may cry or even throw a tantrum. In this day and age with starving kids and all, we shouldn’t have to let any kid down”.
The controversial event may sound macabre but in 1997 two fat ladies ate an entire episode of the Bill; the one where Reg made a funny. This took them a staggering 10000 hours from action! to cut!, though they were cheered on by Bodmin’s Beaver Cub Pack and Junior SAS. An earlier attempt to eat Blue Peter was abandoned when children rang up the live show (which was the first ever show to show a live show being eaten live, live I think) to warn the ladies that a lethargic tortoise was packed into a box in the studio somewhere hibernating. The RSPCA later fielded many complaints claiming that the ladies had consumed three BP pets before the warning came, one of which, Patch, was eaten using chopsticks and took hours to dissect into manageable chunks.
However the most spectacular and also disputed eating boast, was issued from Tubby Tommy Tuckerbushman, 67, who claimed to have eaten Atlantis. In an interview before his mysterious boating accident only 800 miles from the Bermuda Triangle (if you looked at it from his angle), in the English Channel, was quoted as saying that “the mermen and merbirds were quite tasty but very bony, the buildings made of kelp and Kellogs Crunchy Nut Cornflakes were soggy and therefore repugnant”. He added “the city was quite salty and stank of wee”. Bournemouth Council have refuted his claim, clamming up when pressed but open to suggestion after 10am. A spokesman for the council, Clr Martha, who did not want to be quoted or named or born a man, said “Atlantis? That’s in the USA which is next to America and filled with Canadians and Igloos”.
Indeed it is, indeed it is.
Economists have advised contestants who are considering entry into the forthcoming “eat yourself for charity” event, to remember the law of diminishing return. Some Scientists and a couple of wags have also instructed them to eat around their stomachs, else they’ll never finish the task. One contestant, Gary Bloat from Sloatingham, has insisted that the event is all in good fun “for me the chance to lose weight and raise money for “The Help a Spoilt Child to have an even better Christmas foundation” is worth any amount of tribulation”.
When challenged: what will be going through his mind, when he is dislocating his own jaw in an attempt to eat his own face off, he quipped “my teeth! But in all seriousness, what will keep me going is the thought that a rich kid may not have every Buffy DVD boxset that thet had requested and may cry or even throw a tantrum. In this day and age with starving kids and all, we shouldn’t have to let any kid down”.
The controversial event may sound macabre but in 1997 two fat ladies ate an entire episode of the Bill; the one where Reg made a funny. This took them a staggering 10000 hours from action! to cut!, though they were cheered on by Bodmin’s Beaver Cub Pack and Junior SAS. An earlier attempt to eat Blue Peter was abandoned when children rang up the live show (which was the first ever show to show a live show being eaten live, live I think) to warn the ladies that a lethargic tortoise was packed into a box in the studio somewhere hibernating. The RSPCA later fielded many complaints claiming that the ladies had consumed three BP pets before the warning came, one of which, Patch, was eaten using chopsticks and took hours to dissect into manageable chunks.
However the most spectacular and also disputed eating boast, was issued from Tubby Tommy Tuckerbushman, 67, who claimed to have eaten Atlantis. In an interview before his mysterious boating accident only 800 miles from the Bermuda Triangle (if you looked at it from his angle), in the English Channel, was quoted as saying that “the mermen and merbirds were quite tasty but very bony, the buildings made of kelp and Kellogs Crunchy Nut Cornflakes were soggy and therefore repugnant”. He added “the city was quite salty and stank of wee”. Bournemouth Council have refuted his claim, clamming up when pressed but open to suggestion after 10am. A spokesman for the council, Clr Martha, who did not want to be quoted or named or born a man, said “Atlantis? That’s in the USA which is next to America and filled with Canadians and Igloos”.
Indeed it is, indeed it is.