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As Easter nears, EA capitalise upon another money making idea, with, probably, their biggest license ever, The Bible…
Few people know the facts about this license, as it has been kept under wraps ever since, well, it existed. EA were the ones who framed the almighty Jesus, in order to have him crucified at the cross. Jesus was the true owner of ‘The Bible’ video gaming license, but instead of letting him rot away naturally, EA had to arrange some sort of death, with flowers...
The rights for the license were passed onto EA, when Jesus passed away. But unknowingly, on Easter day, Jesus rose from the ground, in order to seek revenge on the evil games developers. Jesus approached EA, almost zombified, his eyes transfixed onto the license. Jesus opened his mouth, but from behind, EA lead developer had penetrated a biro in his side.
So the license was theirs…forever.
Moving on from the history lesson.
EA have a range of Bible related games to be released in the run up to Easter. I am somewhat sceptical about the success of these games, especially as they evidently do not have a clue about anything prior to the 60’s, and I know for a fact, that, the first motorcar was released long after the days of Moses.
‘Joseph and his technicoloured road rage’, is a prime example of EA having no knowledge whatsoever upon the subject in hand. EA will no doubt face a crowd of religious groups, people, and talking umbrellas, complaining about the content of these games. Most worryingly, EA have decided to rip-off the Grand Theft Auto series, using this license, which will only result in complaints/ suing/ mass murdering of various celebrity look-a-likes.
TAG: Bethlehem (the Almighty God) is the main focus of EA’s hype, it is set thousands of years ago. As ‘da main man’ Jezus, you rob camels, steal gold, throw sand at people and burn down stables. Anything goes in this hubabalooza of a small sacred town. Along with riding camels – donkeys, cows, goats, rats, pigs and friar tuck are all up for a good racin’ around the red district area of hardcore Bethlehem.
I highly doubt this game will please, the more religious minded people. But as a gamer, I really don’t care what sort of license is being pasted along the front cover, as long as the game play is sexual.
Besides these, less religiously pleasing titles. EA have decided to create a few which will keep the mouths of the angry mob of religious followers quiet. ‘Mary and Joseph – Where’s the local inn?’ Will be one of these games. This game has been inspired very much by the Shenmue games, where you walk round the town of Bethlehem and enquire where the neighbouring tavern is. Despite being heavily influenced by Shenmue, all the good things have been removed, for example, fighting, getting a job, playing old SEGA Classics, and the ability to run. As a gamer, this title sounds, well, mind-numbingly boring. But one cannot predict how well these ‘softer’ games will go down with fans of ‘The Bible’.
I would continue explaining the other games in this series, like ‘Moses’ Caravanarama’, ‘King Herald: J’adore le fromage’ and ‘Peter Pan: I am not from the Bible’. But frankly, to describe these games, I would bore you, giving a bad impression of the game, causing you not to buy it, causing EA to lose money, thus making EA declared bankrupt, meaning no more money making schemes, no more death threats, no more ‘milked’ franchises…
Maybe I should continue?
So, buy these games. If only for the simple delight of laughing at EA’s lack of knowledge, and game testers.
I can hardly contain my excitement* about these refreshingly innovative games, and I’m sure you won’t be sleeping tonight **
* May be exaggeration/ sarcasm
** I really do not believe this ***
*** I am cool
Cheers ****
**** I will stop doing this now
Few people know the facts about this license, as it has been kept under wraps ever since, well, it existed. EA were the ones who framed the almighty Jesus, in order to have him crucified at the cross. Jesus was the true owner of ‘The Bible’ video gaming license, but instead of letting him rot away naturally, EA had to arrange some sort of death, with flowers...
The rights for the license were passed onto EA, when Jesus passed away. But unknowingly, on Easter day, Jesus rose from the ground, in order to seek revenge on the evil games developers. Jesus approached EA, almost zombified, his eyes transfixed onto the license. Jesus opened his mouth, but from behind, EA lead developer had penetrated a biro in his side.
So the license was theirs…forever.
Moving on from the history lesson.
EA have a range of Bible related games to be released in the run up to Easter. I am somewhat sceptical about the success of these games, especially as they evidently do not have a clue about anything prior to the 60’s, and I know for a fact, that, the first motorcar was released long after the days of Moses.
‘Joseph and his technicoloured road rage’, is a prime example of EA having no knowledge whatsoever upon the subject in hand. EA will no doubt face a crowd of religious groups, people, and talking umbrellas, complaining about the content of these games. Most worryingly, EA have decided to rip-off the Grand Theft Auto series, using this license, which will only result in complaints/ suing/ mass murdering of various celebrity look-a-likes.
TAG: Bethlehem (the Almighty God) is the main focus of EA’s hype, it is set thousands of years ago. As ‘da main man’ Jezus, you rob camels, steal gold, throw sand at people and burn down stables. Anything goes in this hubabalooza of a small sacred town. Along with riding camels – donkeys, cows, goats, rats, pigs and friar tuck are all up for a good racin’ around the red district area of hardcore Bethlehem.
I highly doubt this game will please, the more religious minded people. But as a gamer, I really don’t care what sort of license is being pasted along the front cover, as long as the game play is sexual.
Besides these, less religiously pleasing titles. EA have decided to create a few which will keep the mouths of the angry mob of religious followers quiet. ‘Mary and Joseph – Where’s the local inn?’ Will be one of these games. This game has been inspired very much by the Shenmue games, where you walk round the town of Bethlehem and enquire where the neighbouring tavern is. Despite being heavily influenced by Shenmue, all the good things have been removed, for example, fighting, getting a job, playing old SEGA Classics, and the ability to run. As a gamer, this title sounds, well, mind-numbingly boring. But one cannot predict how well these ‘softer’ games will go down with fans of ‘The Bible’.
I would continue explaining the other games in this series, like ‘Moses’ Caravanarama’, ‘King Herald: J’adore le fromage’ and ‘Peter Pan: I am not from the Bible’. But frankly, to describe these games, I would bore you, giving a bad impression of the game, causing you not to buy it, causing EA to lose money, thus making EA declared bankrupt, meaning no more money making schemes, no more death threats, no more ‘milked’ franchises…
Maybe I should continue?
So, buy these games. If only for the simple delight of laughing at EA’s lack of knowledge, and game testers.
I can hardly contain my excitement* about these refreshingly innovative games, and I’m sure you won’t be sleeping tonight **
* May be exaggeration/ sarcasm
** I really do not believe this ***
*** I am cool
Cheers ****
**** I will stop doing this now
:'(
This post = pop
Cheers *
* I told you I wouldn't do this again... I lied
* I told you I wouldn't do this again... I lied
***** Good.
Damn you to hell.
Stop with all the goodness.
Damn you to hell.
Stop with all the goodness.
HEeehehehe, another good post by sam
As Easter nears, EA capitalise upon another money making idea, with, probably, their biggest license ever, The Bible…
Few people know the facts about this license, as it has been kept under wraps ever since, well, it existed. EA were the ones who framed the almighty Jesus, in order to have him crucified at the cross. Jesus was the true owner of ‘The Bible’ video gaming license, but instead of letting him rot away naturally, EA had to arrange some sort of death, with flowers...
The rights for the license were passed onto EA, when Jesus passed away. But unknowingly, on Easter day, Jesus rose from the ground, in order to seek revenge on the evil games developers. Jesus approached EA, almost zombified, his eyes transfixed onto the license. Jesus opened his mouth, but from behind, EA lead developer had penetrated a biro in his side.
So the license was theirs…forever.
Moving on from the history lesson.
EA have a range of Bible related games to be released in the run up to Easter. I am somewhat sceptical about the success of these games, especially as they evidently do not have a clue about anything prior to the 60’s, and I know for a fact, that, the first motorcar was released long after the days of Moses.
‘Joseph and his technicoloured road rage’, is a prime example of EA having no knowledge whatsoever upon the subject in hand. EA will no doubt face a crowd of religious groups, people, and talking umbrellas, complaining about the content of these games. Most worryingly, EA have decided to rip-off the Grand Theft Auto series, using this license, which will only result in complaints/ suing/ mass murdering of various celebrity look-a-likes.
TAG: Bethlehem (the Almighty God) is the main focus of EA’s hype, it is set thousands of years ago. As ‘da main man’ Jezus, you rob camels, steal gold, throw sand at people and burn down stables. Anything goes in this hubabalooza of a small sacred town. Along with riding camels – donkeys, cows, goats, rats, pigs and friar tuck are all up for a good racin’ around the red district area of hardcore Bethlehem.
I highly doubt this game will please, the more religious minded people. But as a gamer, I really don’t care what sort of license is being pasted along the front cover, as long as the game play is sexual.
Besides these, less religiously pleasing titles. EA have decided to create a few which will keep the mouths of the angry mob of religious followers quiet. ‘Mary and Joseph – Where’s the local inn?’ Will be one of these games. This game has been inspired very much by the Shenmue games, where you walk round the town of Bethlehem and enquire where the neighbouring tavern is. Despite being heavily influenced by Shenmue, all the good things have been removed, for example, fighting, getting a job, playing old SEGA Classics, and the ability to run. As a gamer, this title sounds, well, mind-numbingly boring. But one cannot predict how well these ‘softer’ games will go down with fans of ‘The Bible’.
I would continue explaining the other games in this series, like ‘Moses’ Caravanarama’, ‘King Herald: J’adore le fromage’ and ‘Peter Pan: I am not from the Bible’. But frankly, to describe these games, I would bore you, giving a bad impression of the game, causing you not to buy it, causing EA to lose money, thus making EA declared bankrupt, meaning no more money making schemes, no more death threats, no more ‘milked’ franchises…
Maybe I should continue?
So, buy these games. If only for the simple delight of laughing at EA’s lack of knowledge, and game testers.
I can hardly contain my excitement* about these refreshingly innovative games, and I’m sure you won’t be sleeping tonight **
* May be exaggeration/ sarcasm
** I really do not believe this ***
*** I am cool
Cheers ****
**** I will stop doing this now
Few people know the facts about this license, as it has been kept under wraps ever since, well, it existed. EA were the ones who framed the almighty Jesus, in order to have him crucified at the cross. Jesus was the true owner of ‘The Bible’ video gaming license, but instead of letting him rot away naturally, EA had to arrange some sort of death, with flowers...
The rights for the license were passed onto EA, when Jesus passed away. But unknowingly, on Easter day, Jesus rose from the ground, in order to seek revenge on the evil games developers. Jesus approached EA, almost zombified, his eyes transfixed onto the license. Jesus opened his mouth, but from behind, EA lead developer had penetrated a biro in his side.
So the license was theirs…forever.
Moving on from the history lesson.
EA have a range of Bible related games to be released in the run up to Easter. I am somewhat sceptical about the success of these games, especially as they evidently do not have a clue about anything prior to the 60’s, and I know for a fact, that, the first motorcar was released long after the days of Moses.
‘Joseph and his technicoloured road rage’, is a prime example of EA having no knowledge whatsoever upon the subject in hand. EA will no doubt face a crowd of religious groups, people, and talking umbrellas, complaining about the content of these games. Most worryingly, EA have decided to rip-off the Grand Theft Auto series, using this license, which will only result in complaints/ suing/ mass murdering of various celebrity look-a-likes.
TAG: Bethlehem (the Almighty God) is the main focus of EA’s hype, it is set thousands of years ago. As ‘da main man’ Jezus, you rob camels, steal gold, throw sand at people and burn down stables. Anything goes in this hubabalooza of a small sacred town. Along with riding camels – donkeys, cows, goats, rats, pigs and friar tuck are all up for a good racin’ around the red district area of hardcore Bethlehem.
I highly doubt this game will please, the more religious minded people. But as a gamer, I really don’t care what sort of license is being pasted along the front cover, as long as the game play is sexual.
Besides these, less religiously pleasing titles. EA have decided to create a few which will keep the mouths of the angry mob of religious followers quiet. ‘Mary and Joseph – Where’s the local inn?’ Will be one of these games. This game has been inspired very much by the Shenmue games, where you walk round the town of Bethlehem and enquire where the neighbouring tavern is. Despite being heavily influenced by Shenmue, all the good things have been removed, for example, fighting, getting a job, playing old SEGA Classics, and the ability to run. As a gamer, this title sounds, well, mind-numbingly boring. But one cannot predict how well these ‘softer’ games will go down with fans of ‘The Bible’.
I would continue explaining the other games in this series, like ‘Moses’ Caravanarama’, ‘King Herald: J’adore le fromage’ and ‘Peter Pan: I am not from the Bible’. But frankly, to describe these games, I would bore you, giving a bad impression of the game, causing you not to buy it, causing EA to lose money, thus making EA declared bankrupt, meaning no more money making schemes, no more death threats, no more ‘milked’ franchises…
Maybe I should continue?
So, buy these games. If only for the simple delight of laughing at EA’s lack of knowledge, and game testers.
I can hardly contain my excitement* about these refreshingly innovative games, and I’m sure you won’t be sleeping tonight **
* May be exaggeration/ sarcasm
** I really do not believe this ***
*** I am cool
Cheers ****
**** I will stop doing this now