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Well, I know that you all love reading Smash Hits (I've seen the topless posters of Jack Ryder in your room BEARDS, and Ms NY, don't try and hide that Atomic Kitten CD wallet) so I thought I'd give you a sneaky look at what MIGHT be the next lot of exclusive scoops for good old SH...
April: RIK WALLER IS BACK!
Having just signed a £6m 8-album record deal with EMI, the colossal talent that is Rik Waller is interviewed over fourteen pages (mainly becase we couldn't fit his fat backside on any less than 12 pages). Also, as it's Easter, we've included lots of pictures of Rik using his pudgy fingers to stuff even more chocolate down his chubby throat. Guaranteed to make you retch! Including a free Victoria Beckham set of Belgian chocolates and sickbag.
May: ROBIN WILLIAMS - "I'M GAY!"
Don't tell us the signs weren't there. The constant exhibitionist stripping in videos, the bravado, the love of Frank Sinatra, the long list of failed celebrity relationships...Robin Williams reveals to Smash Hits that he is gay, and has been going out with his tour organiser Frank for nigh on four months. Containing exclusive pictures of the happy couple, and a free packet of poppers.
June: AVRIL LAVIGNE ON WHY "BOYS ARE ICKY!"
Only in Smash Hits, we've secured a feature written by Ms Lavigne herself on her life and why all 12 year old girls should try and be exactly like her. Including such pearls of wisdom as "boys are icky", "socks aren't just for your feet" and "having a flat chest like a boy is cool". As well as those six pages of undecipherable txt talk we have a Linguaphone "how to speak SMS" CD which should have you AFAIKing and TTYLing in no time!
July: CHRISTINA - REVEALED!
To tie in with her new 'Slutty White Girl With Piercings And Stuff' DVD, Christina Aguilera has given us some pages from her top secret diary. They include how painful it was having her left ear and chin pierced together in early May, and the secret to playing with your own breasts whilst thrusting your groin towards the camera (as seen in the video to new single "Fighter"). Including free Jessica Simpson chastity belt and underwear padlock.
August: FRED ELLIOT'S AMAZING ACCENT TO SUPERSTARDOM
Taking the lead from countless Neighbours stars and the occasional Eastender, Coronation Street's Fred Elliot released his first single, a cover of Prodigy's Smack My B*tch Up, to critical acclaim. One number one single later, his album "I Said I Said" stayed at number one for a full two months before being knocked off by Busted's 'Greatest Hits'. our exclusive interview reveals just how pop stardom has affected everyone's favourite speech-impaired butcher. Including a free pink fluffy cadaver.
September: CELEBRITY ACCIDENTS
Inspired by the imminent release of Jackass The Movie 2: Return of the Crossbow, we talk to various celebs about crazy stuff they've done in the past. Craig David recalls when he almost melted his left eye when trying to steam roll his own hair, and Britney Spears looks back on the numerous times she's walked into a door since her new relationship with Eminem. Featuring a free Sinead O'Connor comb.
October: WILL YOUNG - A LOVING TRIBUTE
After the biggest music battle since Eastside vs Westside, the war of words between Will Young and David Sneddon reached a violent head last week as Mr Young was gunned down outside the TOTP roadshow. Inside we have a tribute to the man that made doing endless covers and making black and white videos whilst wearing stupid hats cool. Also included, a free Fame Academy holster.
November: SO SOLID JUNIORS SPEAK OUT!
The fifty-strong spin-off of So Solid Crew speak out after member Danny B is suspended from Palmers Green High for defacing school property. Featuring MC SM:TV's views on uniform and 9 year-old Bugz Bun-E speaking on the subject of having to go to bed before 9pm. Including a free Blue make-up mirror.
December: BONO - "LESH HELP DA KIDS FOR CHRISTMAS YEH?"
We have the first details on a pop concert to be organized by Bono of U2, set to take place on Christmas Day to help impoverished people who have to eat dirt and bugs and poo on the floor. Ms Dynamite is said to headline with U2, saying "well I fink dat it's bad yeh". Other features include pop star's Letters to Santa, with Danii Minogue asking for a career of her own and Sugababes looking for a member who is actually good looking. Including a free Asian Babes 2004 calendar.
Well, there you go. Look out for your subscription copies folks!
Thanks for reading.
April: RIK WALLER IS BACK!
Having just signed a £6m 8-album record deal with EMI, the colossal talent that is Rik Waller is interviewed over fourteen pages (mainly becase we couldn't fit his fat backside on any less than 12 pages). Also, as it's Easter, we've included lots of pictures of Rik using his pudgy fingers to stuff even more chocolate down his chubby throat. Guaranteed to make you retch! Including a free Victoria Beckham set of Belgian chocolates and sickbag.
May: ROBIN WILLIAMS - "I'M GAY!"
Don't tell us the signs weren't there. The constant exhibitionist stripping in videos, the bravado, the love of Frank Sinatra, the long list of failed celebrity relationships...Robin Williams reveals to Smash Hits that he is gay, and has been going out with his tour organiser Frank for nigh on four months. Containing exclusive pictures of the happy couple, and a free packet of poppers.
June: AVRIL LAVIGNE ON WHY "BOYS ARE ICKY!"
Only in Smash Hits, we've secured a feature written by Ms Lavigne herself on her life and why all 12 year old girls should try and be exactly like her. Including such pearls of wisdom as "boys are icky", "socks aren't just for your feet" and "having a flat chest like a boy is cool". As well as those six pages of undecipherable txt talk we have a Linguaphone "how to speak SMS" CD which should have you AFAIKing and TTYLing in no time!
July: CHRISTINA - REVEALED!
To tie in with her new 'Slutty White Girl With Piercings And Stuff' DVD, Christina Aguilera has given us some pages from her top secret diary. They include how painful it was having her left ear and chin pierced together in early May, and the secret to playing with your own breasts whilst thrusting your groin towards the camera (as seen in the video to new single "Fighter"). Including free Jessica Simpson chastity belt and underwear padlock.
August: FRED ELLIOT'S AMAZING ACCENT TO SUPERSTARDOM
Taking the lead from countless Neighbours stars and the occasional Eastender, Coronation Street's Fred Elliot released his first single, a cover of Prodigy's Smack My B*tch Up, to critical acclaim. One number one single later, his album "I Said I Said" stayed at number one for a full two months before being knocked off by Busted's 'Greatest Hits'. our exclusive interview reveals just how pop stardom has affected everyone's favourite speech-impaired butcher. Including a free pink fluffy cadaver.
September: CELEBRITY ACCIDENTS
Inspired by the imminent release of Jackass The Movie 2: Return of the Crossbow, we talk to various celebs about crazy stuff they've done in the past. Craig David recalls when he almost melted his left eye when trying to steam roll his own hair, and Britney Spears looks back on the numerous times she's walked into a door since her new relationship with Eminem. Featuring a free Sinead O'Connor comb.
October: WILL YOUNG - A LOVING TRIBUTE
After the biggest music battle since Eastside vs Westside, the war of words between Will Young and David Sneddon reached a violent head last week as Mr Young was gunned down outside the TOTP roadshow. Inside we have a tribute to the man that made doing endless covers and making black and white videos whilst wearing stupid hats cool. Also included, a free Fame Academy holster.
November: SO SOLID JUNIORS SPEAK OUT!
The fifty-strong spin-off of So Solid Crew speak out after member Danny B is suspended from Palmers Green High for defacing school property. Featuring MC SM:TV's views on uniform and 9 year-old Bugz Bun-E speaking on the subject of having to go to bed before 9pm. Including a free Blue make-up mirror.
December: BONO - "LESH HELP DA KIDS FOR CHRISTMAS YEH?"
We have the first details on a pop concert to be organized by Bono of U2, set to take place on Christmas Day to help impoverished people who have to eat dirt and bugs and poo on the floor. Ms Dynamite is said to headline with U2, saying "well I fink dat it's bad yeh". Other features include pop star's Letters to Santa, with Danii Minogue asking for a career of her own and Sugababes looking for a member who is actually good looking. Including a free Asian Babes 2004 calendar.
Well, there you go. Look out for your subscription copies folks!
Thanks for reading.
Excellenté Mr. Blokey.
Quality post.
And as I said to you on MSN, before you told me to feck off;
It's *ascent*, not accent....
:-D
Quality post.
And as I said to you on MSN, before you told me to feck off;
It's *ascent*, not accent....
:-D
Thanks for all the positive replies.
I could be like Kyz and say:
"Best post I've read all day...... best poster on SR!"
But I'm not going to.
I'll be honest, and mean what I say.
'Twas good. :D
"Best post I've read all day...
But I'm not going to.
I'll be honest, and mean what I say.
'Twas good. :D
Hehe.
Here you are El Blokey.
David Sneddon vs Will Young - The Bout to out annoy the other guy!
Here you are El Blokey.
David Sneddon vs Will Young - The Bout to out annoy the other guy!
:cD
Haha, that was class mate.
I loved the So Solid Juniors bit. Heh, bed before nine. :cP
Quality stuff mate. Hope you win a game for this, cos you deserve one.
Excellenté
Haha, that was class mate.
I loved the So Solid Juniors bit. Heh, bed before nine. :cP
Quality stuff mate. Hope you win a game for this, cos you deserve one.
Excellenté
El Blokey wrote:
> Craig David recalls when he almost melted his left eye when
> trying to steam roll his own hair
Rofl.
Funny post ;)
> Craig David recalls when he almost melted his left eye when
> trying to steam roll his own hair
Rofl.
Funny post ;)
You're very right there.
Both of you ;-)
Both of you ;-)
Robin Williams is an American actor, you're thinking of Robbie Williams...
Brilliant.
Well, I know that you all love reading Smash Hits (I've seen the topless posters of Jack Ryder in your room BEARDS, and Ms NY, don't try and hide that Atomic Kitten CD wallet) so I thought I'd give you a sneaky look at what MIGHT be the next lot of exclusive scoops for good old SH...
April: RIK WALLER IS BACK!
Having just signed a £6m 8-album record deal with EMI, the colossal talent that is Rik Waller is interviewed over fourteen pages (mainly becase we couldn't fit his fat backside on any less than 12 pages). Also, as it's Easter, we've included lots of pictures of Rik using his pudgy fingers to stuff even more chocolate down his chubby throat. Guaranteed to make you retch! Including a free Victoria Beckham set of Belgian chocolates and sickbag.
May: ROBIN WILLIAMS - "I'M GAY!"
Don't tell us the signs weren't there. The constant exhibitionist stripping in videos, the bravado, the love of Frank Sinatra, the long list of failed celebrity relationships...Robin Williams reveals to Smash Hits that he is gay, and has been going out with his tour organiser Frank for nigh on four months. Containing exclusive pictures of the happy couple, and a free packet of poppers.
June: AVRIL LAVIGNE ON WHY "BOYS ARE ICKY!"
Only in Smash Hits, we've secured a feature written by Ms Lavigne herself on her life and why all 12 year old girls should try and be exactly like her. Including such pearls of wisdom as "boys are icky", "socks aren't just for your feet" and "having a flat chest like a boy is cool". As well as those six pages of undecipherable txt talk we have a Linguaphone "how to speak SMS" CD which should have you AFAIKing and TTYLing in no time!
July: CHRISTINA - REVEALED!
To tie in with her new 'Slutty White Girl With Piercings And Stuff' DVD, Christina Aguilera has given us some pages from her top secret diary. They include how painful it was having her left ear and chin pierced together in early May, and the secret to playing with your own breasts whilst thrusting your groin towards the camera (as seen in the video to new single "Fighter"). Including free Jessica Simpson chastity belt and underwear padlock.
August: FRED ELLIOT'S AMAZING ACCENT TO SUPERSTARDOM
Taking the lead from countless Neighbours stars and the occasional Eastender, Coronation Street's Fred Elliot released his first single, a cover of Prodigy's Smack My B*tch Up, to critical acclaim. One number one single later, his album "I Said I Said" stayed at number one for a full two months before being knocked off by Busted's 'Greatest Hits'. our exclusive interview reveals just how pop stardom has affected everyone's favourite speech-impaired butcher. Including a free pink fluffy cadaver.
September: CELEBRITY ACCIDENTS
Inspired by the imminent release of Jackass The Movie 2: Return of the Crossbow, we talk to various celebs about crazy stuff they've done in the past. Craig David recalls when he almost melted his left eye when trying to steam roll his own hair, and Britney Spears looks back on the numerous times she's walked into a door since her new relationship with Eminem. Featuring a free Sinead O'Connor comb.
October: WILL YOUNG - A LOVING TRIBUTE
After the biggest music battle since Eastside vs Westside, the war of words between Will Young and David Sneddon reached a violent head last week as Mr Young was gunned down outside the TOTP roadshow. Inside we have a tribute to the man that made doing endless covers and making black and white videos whilst wearing stupid hats cool. Also included, a free Fame Academy holster.
November: SO SOLID JUNIORS SPEAK OUT!
The fifty-strong spin-off of So Solid Crew speak out after member Danny B is suspended from Palmers Green High for defacing school property. Featuring MC SM:TV's views on uniform and 9 year-old Bugz Bun-E speaking on the subject of having to go to bed before 9pm. Including a free Blue make-up mirror.
December: BONO - "LESH HELP DA KIDS FOR CHRISTMAS YEH?"
We have the first details on a pop concert to be organized by Bono of U2, set to take place on Christmas Day to help impoverished people who have to eat dirt and bugs and poo on the floor. Ms Dynamite is said to headline with U2, saying "well I fink dat it's bad yeh". Other features include pop star's Letters to Santa, with Danii Minogue asking for a career of her own and Sugababes looking for a member who is actually good looking. Including a free Asian Babes 2004 calendar.
Well, there you go. Look out for your subscription copies folks!
Thanks for reading.
April: RIK WALLER IS BACK!
Having just signed a £6m 8-album record deal with EMI, the colossal talent that is Rik Waller is interviewed over fourteen pages (mainly becase we couldn't fit his fat backside on any less than 12 pages). Also, as it's Easter, we've included lots of pictures of Rik using his pudgy fingers to stuff even more chocolate down his chubby throat. Guaranteed to make you retch! Including a free Victoria Beckham set of Belgian chocolates and sickbag.
May: ROBIN WILLIAMS - "I'M GAY!"
Don't tell us the signs weren't there. The constant exhibitionist stripping in videos, the bravado, the love of Frank Sinatra, the long list of failed celebrity relationships...Robin Williams reveals to Smash Hits that he is gay, and has been going out with his tour organiser Frank for nigh on four months. Containing exclusive pictures of the happy couple, and a free packet of poppers.
June: AVRIL LAVIGNE ON WHY "BOYS ARE ICKY!"
Only in Smash Hits, we've secured a feature written by Ms Lavigne herself on her life and why all 12 year old girls should try and be exactly like her. Including such pearls of wisdom as "boys are icky", "socks aren't just for your feet" and "having a flat chest like a boy is cool". As well as those six pages of undecipherable txt talk we have a Linguaphone "how to speak SMS" CD which should have you AFAIKing and TTYLing in no time!
July: CHRISTINA - REVEALED!
To tie in with her new 'Slutty White Girl With Piercings And Stuff' DVD, Christina Aguilera has given us some pages from her top secret diary. They include how painful it was having her left ear and chin pierced together in early May, and the secret to playing with your own breasts whilst thrusting your groin towards the camera (as seen in the video to new single "Fighter"). Including free Jessica Simpson chastity belt and underwear padlock.
August: FRED ELLIOT'S AMAZING ACCENT TO SUPERSTARDOM
Taking the lead from countless Neighbours stars and the occasional Eastender, Coronation Street's Fred Elliot released his first single, a cover of Prodigy's Smack My B*tch Up, to critical acclaim. One number one single later, his album "I Said I Said" stayed at number one for a full two months before being knocked off by Busted's 'Greatest Hits'. our exclusive interview reveals just how pop stardom has affected everyone's favourite speech-impaired butcher. Including a free pink fluffy cadaver.
September: CELEBRITY ACCIDENTS
Inspired by the imminent release of Jackass The Movie 2: Return of the Crossbow, we talk to various celebs about crazy stuff they've done in the past. Craig David recalls when he almost melted his left eye when trying to steam roll his own hair, and Britney Spears looks back on the numerous times she's walked into a door since her new relationship with Eminem. Featuring a free Sinead O'Connor comb.
October: WILL YOUNG - A LOVING TRIBUTE
After the biggest music battle since Eastside vs Westside, the war of words between Will Young and David Sneddon reached a violent head last week as Mr Young was gunned down outside the TOTP roadshow. Inside we have a tribute to the man that made doing endless covers and making black and white videos whilst wearing stupid hats cool. Also included, a free Fame Academy holster.
November: SO SOLID JUNIORS SPEAK OUT!
The fifty-strong spin-off of So Solid Crew speak out after member Danny B is suspended from Palmers Green High for defacing school property. Featuring MC SM:TV's views on uniform and 9 year-old Bugz Bun-E speaking on the subject of having to go to bed before 9pm. Including a free Blue make-up mirror.
December: BONO - "LESH HELP DA KIDS FOR CHRISTMAS YEH?"
We have the first details on a pop concert to be organized by Bono of U2, set to take place on Christmas Day to help impoverished people who have to eat dirt and bugs and poo on the floor. Ms Dynamite is said to headline with U2, saying "well I fink dat it's bad yeh". Other features include pop star's Letters to Santa, with Danii Minogue asking for a career of her own and Sugababes looking for a member who is actually good looking. Including a free Asian Babes 2004 calendar.
Well, there you go. Look out for your subscription copies folks!
Thanks for reading.