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Axis of Evil Wannabees by John Cleese
Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of
Evil", Libya, China and Syria today announced that they had formed the "Axis
of Just as Evil", which they said would be more evil than that stupid
Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the
Union address.
Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new Axis as having,
for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are just as evil . . . in
their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il.
"Everybody knows we're the best evils . . . best at being evil ....
we're the best." Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over
being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join
the Axis of Evil. "They told us it was full," said Syrian President
Bashar al-Assad.
"An axis can't have more than three countries", explained Iraqi
President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World
War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So, you can
only have three, and a secret handshake. Ours is wickedly cool."
International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as
within minutes, France surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations
rushed to gain triumvirate status in what has become a game of
geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan and Serbia announced that
they had formed the "Axis of Somewhat Evil", forcing Somalia to join
with Uganda and Myanmar in the "Axis of Occasionally Evil", while
Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the "Axis of Not So Much Evil
Really as Just Generally Disagreeable".
With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling
up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the "Axis
of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host
the Olympics". Canada, Mexico and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations
That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty
Thoughts About America", while Scotland, New Zealand and Wales established
the "Axis of Countries That Want Sheep to Wear Lipstick".
"That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do", said
Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.
While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making
fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axis, although he
rejected the establishment of the "Axis of Countries Whose Names End in
"Guay", accusing one of its members of filing a false application.
Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.
Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but
privately world leaders said that's because no one's asked.
Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of
Evil", Libya, China and Syria today announced that they had formed the "Axis
of Just as Evil", which they said would be more evil than that stupid
Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the
Union address.
Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new Axis as having,
for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are just as evil . . . in
their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il.
"Everybody knows we're the best evils . . . best at being evil ....
we're the best." Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over
being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join
the Axis of Evil. "They told us it was full," said Syrian President
Bashar al-Assad.
"An axis can't have more than three countries", explained Iraqi
President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World
War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So, you can
only have three, and a secret handshake. Ours is wickedly cool."
International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as
within minutes, France surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations
rushed to gain triumvirate status in what has become a game of
geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan and Serbia announced that
they had formed the "Axis of Somewhat Evil", forcing Somalia to join
with Uganda and Myanmar in the "Axis of Occasionally Evil", while
Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the "Axis of Not So Much Evil
Really as Just Generally Disagreeable".
With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling
up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the "Axis
of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host
the Olympics". Canada, Mexico and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations
That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty
Thoughts About America", while Scotland, New Zealand and Wales established
the "Axis of Countries That Want Sheep to Wear Lipstick".
"That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do", said
Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.
While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making
fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axis, although he
rejected the establishment of the "Axis of Countries Whose Names End in
"Guay", accusing one of its members of filing a false application.
Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.
Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but
privately world leaders said that's because no one's asked.
:-D
Axis of Evil Wannabees by John Cleese
Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of
Evil", Libya, China and Syria today announced that they had formed the "Axis
of Just as Evil", which they said would be more evil than that stupid
Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the
Union address.
Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new Axis as having,
for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are just as evil . . . in
their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il.
"Everybody knows we're the best evils . . . best at being evil ....
we're the best." Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over
being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join
the Axis of Evil. "They told us it was full," said Syrian President
Bashar al-Assad.
"An axis can't have more than three countries", explained Iraqi
President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World
War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So, you can
only have three, and a secret handshake. Ours is wickedly cool."
International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as
within minutes, France surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations
rushed to gain triumvirate status in what has become a game of
geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan and Serbia announced that
they had formed the "Axis of Somewhat Evil", forcing Somalia to join
with Uganda and Myanmar in the "Axis of Occasionally Evil", while
Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the "Axis of Not So Much Evil
Really as Just Generally Disagreeable".
With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling
up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the "Axis
of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host
the Olympics". Canada, Mexico and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations
That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty
Thoughts About America", while Scotland, New Zealand and Wales established
the "Axis of Countries That Want Sheep to Wear Lipstick".
"That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do", said
Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.
While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making
fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axis, although he
rejected the establishment of the "Axis of Countries Whose Names End in
"Guay", accusing one of its members of filing a false application.
Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.
Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but
privately world leaders said that's because no one's asked.
Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of
Evil", Libya, China and Syria today announced that they had formed the "Axis
of Just as Evil", which they said would be more evil than that stupid
Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the
Union address.
Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new Axis as having,
for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are just as evil . . . in
their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il.
"Everybody knows we're the best evils . . . best at being evil ....
we're the best." Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over
being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join
the Axis of Evil. "They told us it was full," said Syrian President
Bashar al-Assad.
"An axis can't have more than three countries", explained Iraqi
President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World
War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So, you can
only have three, and a secret handshake. Ours is wickedly cool."
International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as
within minutes, France surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations
rushed to gain triumvirate status in what has become a game of
geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan and Serbia announced that
they had formed the "Axis of Somewhat Evil", forcing Somalia to join
with Uganda and Myanmar in the "Axis of Occasionally Evil", while
Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the "Axis of Not So Much Evil
Really as Just Generally Disagreeable".
With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling
up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the "Axis
of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host
the Olympics". Canada, Mexico and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations
That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty
Thoughts About America", while Scotland, New Zealand and Wales established
the "Axis of Countries That Want Sheep to Wear Lipstick".
"That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do", said
Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.
While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making
fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axis, although he
rejected the establishment of the "Axis of Countries Whose Names End in
"Guay", accusing one of its members of filing a false application.
Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.
Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but
privately world leaders said that's because no one's asked.