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I may not be a detective (yet) but I think I’ve cracked something here, bare with me and read down a little, and like ‘Smash hits’ magazine, this post is bursting with gossip, so when reading go slow, otherwise you might go hysterical, scream and your head could explode leaving traces of a pink substance similar to yoghurt all over your windows…
Die hard. Its Christmas eve, in the city the large and very rich company Nacatomi are having a party in their plaza (coincidently named ‘Nacatomi plaza’) anyway, they’re partying away when terrorists seize the building and hold everyone hostage. But wait, off-duty cop, John McLain is there and only happy to help, fighting the terrorists he saves the day, becomes a hero and gets the girl. A happy ending
Die hard 2, die harder. Its Christmas eve, and all is busy in the international airport, all of a sudden, without warning, terrorists show up and seize control of the airport, taking the airborne planes hostage. Off-duty cop John McLain has his gun (and Déjà vu), but again he battles the terrorists and thus saves the day, gets the girl and is the hero.
Die hard 3, die hard with a vengeance. Terrorists are robbing fort Knox, they have everyone fooled, except one man, yes you guessed it, off-duty cop John McLain. Its time for our boy Johnny to save the day…again (this time with the aid of Samuel L Jackson). After doing battle he saves the day, giving him a hat trick in the ‘saving the day’ match.
Die hard 4, die hardest (currently in development). A cruise liner is hosting people for a holiday when terrorists take over. Now I’ve not seen the film but I’m guessing its going to go something like this. Off-duty cop John McLain does battle with the terrorists, wins, saves day, becomes hero, gets girl. (sorry to naive people, as I have just ruined the ending for them)
So is it me or have I spotted something here demonstrating the lack of imagination in the directors eyes? It’s time for Porters predictions…
Die hard 5, die quite hard. Terrorists seize a grocers, off-duty cop John McLain was buying a cabbage and two carrots at the time, he battles the terrorists, wins, saves the day, becomes hero, gets cabbage and two carrots. Hoorah
Die hard 6, die slowly. It’s Christmas eve, terrorists have seized the police station, McLain was merely nipping in to pick up his wife’s presents (so he was technically off-duty) he battle’s, wins, saves day, becomes hero, gets presents for girl.
Die hard 7, die talking. McLain is now in his 50’s and getting therapy, he is cracking up with paranoia about terrorists…suddenly hostile men take over the building, McLain saves the day, wins, becomes hero, gets therapy.
Die hard 8, dead. McLain is dead. He is being prepared for the funeral, terrorists seize the undertakers. They later trip over the casket and land on embalming equipment, thus killing them. McLain, despite the handicap of being dead, saves the day, becomes the hero, gets buried.
There you have it, my prediction for the next few Bruce Willis blockbusters.
Thanks for reading.
Die hard. Its Christmas eve, in the city the large and very rich company Nacatomi are having a party in their plaza (coincidently named ‘Nacatomi plaza’) anyway, they’re partying away when terrorists seize the building and hold everyone hostage. But wait, off-duty cop, John McLain is there and only happy to help, fighting the terrorists he saves the day, becomes a hero and gets the girl. A happy ending
Die hard 2, die harder. Its Christmas eve, and all is busy in the international airport, all of a sudden, without warning, terrorists show up and seize control of the airport, taking the airborne planes hostage. Off-duty cop John McLain has his gun (and Déjà vu), but again he battles the terrorists and thus saves the day, gets the girl and is the hero.
Die hard 3, die hard with a vengeance. Terrorists are robbing fort Knox, they have everyone fooled, except one man, yes you guessed it, off-duty cop John McLain. Its time for our boy Johnny to save the day…again (this time with the aid of Samuel L Jackson). After doing battle he saves the day, giving him a hat trick in the ‘saving the day’ match.
Die hard 4, die hardest (currently in development). A cruise liner is hosting people for a holiday when terrorists take over. Now I’ve not seen the film but I’m guessing its going to go something like this. Off-duty cop John McLain does battle with the terrorists, wins, saves day, becomes hero, gets girl. (sorry to naive people, as I have just ruined the ending for them)
So is it me or have I spotted something here demonstrating the lack of imagination in the directors eyes? It’s time for Porters predictions…
Die hard 5, die quite hard. Terrorists seize a grocers, off-duty cop John McLain was buying a cabbage and two carrots at the time, he battles the terrorists, wins, saves the day, becomes hero, gets cabbage and two carrots. Hoorah
Die hard 6, die slowly. It’s Christmas eve, terrorists have seized the police station, McLain was merely nipping in to pick up his wife’s presents (so he was technically off-duty) he battle’s, wins, saves day, becomes hero, gets presents for girl.
Die hard 7, die talking. McLain is now in his 50’s and getting therapy, he is cracking up with paranoia about terrorists…suddenly hostile men take over the building, McLain saves the day, wins, becomes hero, gets therapy.
Die hard 8, dead. McLain is dead. He is being prepared for the funeral, terrorists seize the undertakers. They later trip over the casket and land on embalming equipment, thus killing them. McLain, despite the handicap of being dead, saves the day, becomes the hero, gets buried.
There you have it, my prediction for the next few Bruce Willis blockbusters.
Thanks for reading.
Thanks Ant, i like the green grocers one myself. O and i laughed at your Edutainment post, very true!
Highly amusing, my favourite being the last one. Horrah! :D
Thanks!
Absolut genius.
Die Hard 9, gaurdian angel. An assanation is about to be attempted on the president. Off-duty (and dead) cop John McLain's ash's blow into the eyes of the president, McLain saves the day, ash's get put in museum, hero is reborn.
I may not be a detective (yet) but I think I’ve cracked something here, bare with me and read down a little, and like ‘Smash hits’ magazine, this post is bursting with gossip, so when reading go slow, otherwise you might go hysterical, scream and your head could explode leaving traces of a pink substance similar to yoghurt all over your windows…
Die hard. Its Christmas eve, in the city the large and very rich company Nacatomi are having a party in their plaza (coincidently named ‘Nacatomi plaza’) anyway, they’re partying away when terrorists seize the building and hold everyone hostage. But wait, off-duty cop, John McLain is there and only happy to help, fighting the terrorists he saves the day, becomes a hero and gets the girl. A happy ending
Die hard 2, die harder. Its Christmas eve, and all is busy in the international airport, all of a sudden, without warning, terrorists show up and seize control of the airport, taking the airborne planes hostage. Off-duty cop John McLain has his gun (and Déjà vu), but again he battles the terrorists and thus saves the day, gets the girl and is the hero.
Die hard 3, die hard with a vengeance. Terrorists are robbing fort Knox, they have everyone fooled, except one man, yes you guessed it, off-duty cop John McLain. Its time for our boy Johnny to save the day…again (this time with the aid of Samuel L Jackson). After doing battle he saves the day, giving him a hat trick in the ‘saving the day’ match.
Die hard 4, die hardest (currently in development). A cruise liner is hosting people for a holiday when terrorists take over. Now I’ve not seen the film but I’m guessing its going to go something like this. Off-duty cop John McLain does battle with the terrorists, wins, saves day, becomes hero, gets girl. (sorry to naive people, as I have just ruined the ending for them)
So is it me or have I spotted something here demonstrating the lack of imagination in the directors eyes? It’s time for Porters predictions…
Die hard 5, die quite hard. Terrorists seize a grocers, off-duty cop John McLain was buying a cabbage and two carrots at the time, he battles the terrorists, wins, saves the day, becomes hero, gets cabbage and two carrots. Hoorah
Die hard 6, die slowly. It’s Christmas eve, terrorists have seized the police station, McLain was merely nipping in to pick up his wife’s presents (so he was technically off-duty) he battle’s, wins, saves day, becomes hero, gets presents for girl.
Die hard 7, die talking. McLain is now in his 50’s and getting therapy, he is cracking up with paranoia about terrorists…suddenly hostile men take over the building, McLain saves the day, wins, becomes hero, gets therapy.
Die hard 8, dead. McLain is dead. He is being prepared for the funeral, terrorists seize the undertakers. They later trip over the casket and land on embalming equipment, thus killing them. McLain, despite the handicap of being dead, saves the day, becomes the hero, gets buried.
There you have it, my prediction for the next few Bruce Willis blockbusters.
Thanks for reading.
Die hard. Its Christmas eve, in the city the large and very rich company Nacatomi are having a party in their plaza (coincidently named ‘Nacatomi plaza’) anyway, they’re partying away when terrorists seize the building and hold everyone hostage. But wait, off-duty cop, John McLain is there and only happy to help, fighting the terrorists he saves the day, becomes a hero and gets the girl. A happy ending
Die hard 2, die harder. Its Christmas eve, and all is busy in the international airport, all of a sudden, without warning, terrorists show up and seize control of the airport, taking the airborne planes hostage. Off-duty cop John McLain has his gun (and Déjà vu), but again he battles the terrorists and thus saves the day, gets the girl and is the hero.
Die hard 3, die hard with a vengeance. Terrorists are robbing fort Knox, they have everyone fooled, except one man, yes you guessed it, off-duty cop John McLain. Its time for our boy Johnny to save the day…again (this time with the aid of Samuel L Jackson). After doing battle he saves the day, giving him a hat trick in the ‘saving the day’ match.
Die hard 4, die hardest (currently in development). A cruise liner is hosting people for a holiday when terrorists take over. Now I’ve not seen the film but I’m guessing its going to go something like this. Off-duty cop John McLain does battle with the terrorists, wins, saves day, becomes hero, gets girl. (sorry to naive people, as I have just ruined the ending for them)
So is it me or have I spotted something here demonstrating the lack of imagination in the directors eyes? It’s time for Porters predictions…
Die hard 5, die quite hard. Terrorists seize a grocers, off-duty cop John McLain was buying a cabbage and two carrots at the time, he battles the terrorists, wins, saves the day, becomes hero, gets cabbage and two carrots. Hoorah
Die hard 6, die slowly. It’s Christmas eve, terrorists have seized the police station, McLain was merely nipping in to pick up his wife’s presents (so he was technically off-duty) he battle’s, wins, saves day, becomes hero, gets presents for girl.
Die hard 7, die talking. McLain is now in his 50’s and getting therapy, he is cracking up with paranoia about terrorists…suddenly hostile men take over the building, McLain saves the day, wins, becomes hero, gets therapy.
Die hard 8, dead. McLain is dead. He is being prepared for the funeral, terrorists seize the undertakers. They later trip over the casket and land on embalming equipment, thus killing them. McLain, despite the handicap of being dead, saves the day, becomes the hero, gets buried.
There you have it, my prediction for the next few Bruce Willis blockbusters.
Thanks for reading.