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"Spoof Ali Snuggly 2: Update the Gameaday List Another Day"

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Sun 16/03/03 at 12:53
Regular
Posts: 787
Last time on Ali Snuggly Secret Agent!
Tony reinvented the Special Reserve HQ as an intelligence base intent on saving the world!
Tony changed everyone’s names to give him or her an authentic James Bond name! Tony became T, Ali became James by deed pol, Brad became B and Hybrid Valves became H!
CDouch planned to blow up Fort SR and therefore make all the gameadays radioactive. The second part of his plan involved supplied games he had won, after taking out all the competition.
However, Snuggly saved the day, sending CDouch to the place of no return Newcastle!

Somewhere in a secret base in England, possibly near the Sawbridgesworth Special Reserve HQ….

T: James, the gameaday list needs updating again. You haven’t updated it in almost a week.
Snuggly: I can’t be bothered.
T: The world also needs saving.
Snuggly: What now? Have some terrorists got hold of a nuclear missile? Have they made a dirty bomb? Have weapons inspectors finally found some weapons of mass destruction in Iraq?
T: Much worse Ali… Hercules has released a singing career.
Snuggly: Oh dear no…

(Slightly altered Madonna Die Another Day Music begins to play from a radio on T (Tony’s) desk only replace die with “Update the Gameday List”, obviously said much quicker so it fits in to one syllable).

T begins to dance in rhythm with the music. He goes into an Egyptian dance around the office. Tony comes out and joins him humming. Soon the entire office is dancing around Snuggly.

T and B together: Update-the-gameaday-list… another day
Snuggly turns off the radio.
Snuggly: I resent listening to that vile excuse for mu… We don’t sell it do we?
B: No sir.
Snuggly: Okay good I can abuse it then. I resent listening to that vile excuse for music. Madonna should just give up. She can’t act, she can’t sing and she can’t be in my James Bond spoof!

Cut to a paddle boat on the River Thames, Hercules is laughing and is standing on the back of it with a Tommy gun. He is being rowed by a typical henchman. He is being chased by three people in three separate dinghy’s each, all three are paddling to pursue the boat.
Hercules: Eat this suckers!
He lets rip with his massive weapon, pumping bullets behind him.
Pursuer 1: No you punctured my dinghy!
The dinghy starts deflating. The pursuer stops rowing and dives over the puncture.
Pursuer 2: Quick! Use your puncture repair kit!
Hercules: Hahaha! I’m releasing a singing career if you like it or not!
Pursuer 3: Never!
Pursuer 3 is now in touching distance of Hercule’s boat.
Pursuer 1’s dinghy is now extremely deflated to the point where he is desperately trying to empty it of water as he sinks.
Pursuer 1: The water’s cold! Freezing cold!!
Pursuer 2: Jump into mine
Pursuer 1: It’s too late!!
Pursuer 1 disappears below the water. Pursuer 3 leaps over to Hercule’s boat. It rocks about. Anyone who’s tried to stand on a lilo in a swimming pool will understand that as Pursuer 3 jumps on to it, he stacks it and falls into the water.
Hercules: Now evil Special Reserve agent it’s time to die!!
Pursuer 2 gasps as the barrel of the gun is pointed in his face. Suddenly he looks to the sky.
Pursuer 2: What’s that??!?
Hercules looks to the sky.
Pursuer 2: Is it a bird? Is it a plane…?
Hercules: No it’s the sun you moron.
Hercules executes him there and then. Suddenly there is the sound of sawing. Hercules turns to find a hole in his boat. A head pops up. Hercules tries to work out who it is, but the face is shielded by a scuba helmet.
He spits out the snorkel.
Scuba man: The names Snuggly.
Snuggly points gun at Hercules. He flicks the safety catch off.
Snuggly: James Snuggly, secret agent.
Hercules: Oh holy sham-oley.
The gunshot is heard but we are now taken back to SR HQ, where Snuggly is in a suit and walking over to the lift. He puts his hand on the hand imprint.
Voice: Welcome back Mr. Snuggly 007. Congratulations on taking out that terrorist Hercules.
Snuggly: It was nothing. Wait a minute why am I talking to a machine.
The door opens.
Voice: Please allow a retina scan.
Snuggly moves his eyes into the retina scanning machine.
Voice: Please come in.
Another door opens.
Snuggly: T, you called…
T: Yes Mr. Snuggly. Congratulations on your job on the river. Three agents drowned in that battle. Luckily you stopped it from getting further out of hand.
Snuggly: You know those deaths really could have been prevented if we had a swimming tutorial as part of the training course.
T: MM.. Interesting idea I’ll remember that.
Snuggly: Nice new security by the way. I didn’t think retina scanners existed.
T: They don’t. Neither does the hand scan thing. It’s just for show..
Snuggly: What? But it identified me.
T: One of Schroeder’s jobs is to look at who’s coming to the door and then talk into a voice changer. I just thought it was a nice touch.
Snuggly: Right.. so anyone could walk in and take you out? Say a terrorist or a deranged kid who hasn’t won a gameaday so far?
T: Yeh pretty much.
Snuggly: Fair enough. So what’s this new mission?
T: Ahh yes.. do you remember Bobjob?
Snuggly: Yes too well…
T: We intercepted this video from a CTV camera.
Snuggly: Mm.. that’s Bobjob but what’s he doing in a ladies store?
T: We weren’t sure, however this was taken only yesterday, thus proving the criminal Bobjob is still at large! However notice he’s conversing with this woman.
The video shows Bobjob walk up to a tall lady and stop (lets just say Bobjob is as tall as her legs – an interesting position to be in).
Snuggly: You sure he’s talking to her? It looks like he’s just how can I say it, taking advantage of his er position?
T: No see she’s bending over….. Now… to…
Snuggly: … Slap him?
T: No talk to him. He talks to her. See.
Snuggly: Yeh does look like they are talking actually.
T: Now they leave together… but where.
Snuggly: Mm… to destroy the world? It’s highly possible.
T: Yes but who is thia tall lady? We’ve searched the Special Reserve consumer base and the only female on it is Mystique… and you converted her from the evil side and she’s now our “work experience” girl for a month for some reason.
Snuggly: Yeh she fancies H.
T: No idea why, do you think it’s the goatee he is growing to make himself look cool? Oh speaking of Mystique…
Mystique has entered the room with coffees.
Mystique: Here’s your coffee Mr T.
T: “T.” Please “T”.
Mystique: You want tea?
T: No my name’s T not Mr T.
Mystique: You missed a tea? What? You have a scheduled tea or something?
T: What? Look I’m just saying it’s T. Plain old T, nothing more.
Mystique: Plain tea? As in not herbal?
T: No not as in… Oh forget it. The coffee’s fine, now go and see if anyone else wants coffee.
Mystique: Okey doke.
Mystique leaves the room.
T: You just can’t get the tea and coffee people these days… Anyway where were we?
Snuggly: We were discussing the lack of female consumers and trying to work out the identity of the lady with Bobjob.
T: Oh yes. Maybe I should search again.
T uses his laptop and opens up a database.
He starts a search for gender: female.
5 seconds later, two entries have appeared and the search is apparently now finished with 2 results.
T: Yep, see - Mystique and Schroeder.
Snuggly: Surely not Schroeder?
T: Let me see.
T taps his intercom.
T: Schroeder are you plotting to destroy the world with Bobjob?
Schroeder (over intercom): No..
T: Okay no problem, sorry to bother you. (taps intercom off). See now what more proof do you need?
Snuggly: Okay, so I take it you want me to find Bobjob and his lady friend thus discovering her identity, discover their evil plot to destroy the world, save the world and be back for the new stock shipment? Do we have any leads?
T: Bobjob drives a Smart car.
Snuggly: That will surely cut it down to only a few people in this country.
T: No, only one person in the country drives a Smart car.
Snuggly: Bobjob?
T: Yes Bobjob. We’ve been watching his car for days and have managed to track him to a hollowed out volcano in Basildon.
Snuggly: In Basildon?
T: Yes in Basildon. It’s just behind the Hollywood Bowl actually. Funny that how things can be right under your nose… You know your objective James, you know the drill so lets get this show on the road!

We switch to a lab where Brad has a screwdriver and is dissembling an MP3 player.
Snuggly: How are things?
B: Oh hello James, didn’t expect you here so soon. I was just trying to fit a gun into this MP3 player. Thought it would be cool. Hang on a minute, I’ve just got to screw this in… done.
Snuggly: Interesting. So it plays MP3s and fires a gun.
B: Exactly! Watch!
B sticks some headphones in, and presses play. He puts an earphone in Snuggly’s ear.
Snuggly: I see.
B then presses stop, points it to a target a few meters away and presses another button. The MP3 player explodes in his hands. He drops it.
B: Ow! Hot!
Snuggly: Still not fully functioning yet right? Any idea why?
B picks up the MP3 player.
B: Oh whoops, I forgot to make a hole for the bullet to come out of. Darnit.
Snuggly: Ah well, better luck next time.
B: I’ve let Tony down haven’t I? I’m meant to be Q yet I’m yet to make my own successful invention!
Snuggly: Mmm… but you can always take gadgets from the factory downstairs can’t you?
B: Yeh I know but it’s not quite the same.
Snuggly: Surely you’ve made some other inventions?
B: I made a solar powered toothbrush.
He walks over to the table and opens the draw. He pulls out a toothbrush that begins to vibrate.
Snuggly: That’s amazing!
B: Well, it would be, but it hurts your gums when you put it in your mouth. It vibrates too much. It knocked out my tooth here.. (He opens his mouth) See?
Snuggly: I see.
B: Okay! Lets get down to business! Gadgets! First up is the [email protected] (SPYCAM) 100 PLUS USB DIGITAL VIDEO/STILL CAMERA FOR PC. It’s a digital camera for PC, Ultra light weight, Takes up to 80 shots, 2 MB memory, Stores up to 10 seconds of video, Can be used as a web cam when connected to PC via USB port, and requires 166 MMX CPU or above.
B hands Snuggly a camera.
Snuggly: Okay… so it’s a tiny digital camera.
B: Yes for taking top secret photos!
Snuggly: What else you got for me?
B: A USB MINIDRIVE - 256MB., Awesome portable storage device, Plugs straight into USB port, Holds up to 256 MB of data, Lockable memory - password protected, Waterproof, Lightweight - just 20g (approx), Small size - 77mm x 25mm x 9mm - ideal for your key ring!, No drivers required for Win ME / MAC OS 9 or higher, Supplied with drivers for win 95 OSR2/98/98SE, Requires no external power, Also includes USB extention lead, neck strap and manual!
Snuggly: And why would I need that?
B: In case Bobjob and his female friend have some good files on their computer, or you fancy surfing the internet and taking some stuff you’ve downloaded back home?
Snuggly: Fair enough… could happen… I suppose.. Gadget number 3?
B: PINO ROBOT., Interacts through 5 built in sensors, 5 different attitude modes, He can walk, talk, sing and dance, Develops his own personality depending on how you treat him, Dimensions (with arms by his side)- 365mm(h) X182mm(w) X112mm(d) Pino is an interactive young, defenseless robot that has no knowledge of the world. The way that you treat your Pino determines how your Pino will eventually turn out in terms of its attitude towards you as it gradually builds it's personality and a repertoire of tricks. Comparisons have been made with Sony's Aibo robot but this little gadget is much cheaper and is much more suited to children as well as adults. With love, care and attention you may have a little charmer to take care of but show it neglect and you'll have a naughty little Pino on your hands!
Snuggly: Right… so a robot that can do things?
B: Yep…
Snuggly: You’re not really getting the hang of this useful gadget idea are you?
B: No wait I’m saving the best gadgets for last! An OFFICIAL FIFA 2003 FM RADIO AND TORCH!
Snuggly coughs.
B: CLEANING WIPES FOR COMPUTERS AND CONSOLES. Pack of 100 Wipes to Clean and protect against harmful dust and static build up without streaking or scratching!
Snuggly: Yes harmful dust and static build up, what was I thinking leaving on my mission without them!
B: And finally….. a rally car!
Snuggly’s eyes light up.
Snuggly: Now we’re talking!
B: Yes that’s right! The RALLY RACER (OVAL BASE) REMOTE CONTROL CAR (COLOURS MAY VARY).. The worlds smallest remote control cars, All in one radio controlled 1:64 miniature car, Full function radio controller built into lid, Fast and controllable, Approx size 6 X 3 X 2.5 cms, Requires 3 x AA batteries (not supplied) Cool stuff! These miniature RC cars are fully functional radio control replicas of the real thing. The can lid is the RC handset with left, right, forward and reverse controls making these little cars very manoeuvrable with great speed! No license required, just add batteries (3x AA - not included). Available in 3 frequencies (27Mhz, 40Mhz and 49Mhz).
Snuggly: Sigh… Ah well, a remote control car helped me stop Bobjob last time, I’m sure it will be helpful again...
Snuggly collects his gadgets in a rucksack (sold separately) and makes his way into the SR HQ lift. He gets out on the top floor and walks over to a helicopter whose engine is started and is raring to go.
T: God speed Agent Snuggly!
Snuggly climbs into the helicopter. The helicopter almost straight away lifts off the ground. It hovers into the distance.

Soon it is hovering over Festival Leisure park, Basildon. It lands on top of the SR shop there. Snuggly climbs out of the helicopter. People below look up wowing including lots of youngsters loitering around the area trying to look like Eminem with hoods on over their caps, but having no money so not doing anything there. Snuggly walks down some stairs that take him to the back of the Basildon shop. Dressed in a tuxedo he walks out the shop towards Hollywood bowl. In no time he is in front of the hollowed out volcano surrounded by a small moat. Indeed a Smart car sits by the side of the moat.
He loads his gun under his tuxedo.
Snuggly: How come I never noticed a hollowed out volcano here before?
Snuggly clears his throat.
Snuggly: Testing.. The names Snuggly. James Snuggly.
He walks over to the moat.
Snuggly: Now how do I get across?
He looks around and notices a conveniently placed rubber dingy.
Snuggly: Ahh perfect!
Snuggly gets in the dingy and rows across to the other side (which is in fact only only 5 metres away from the other side). Snuggly climbs out the boat then runs over to the volcano with his back to the wall. He loads two guns.
Snuggly: Time to kick some ar5e!

Meanwhile… Back in the SR HQ!

T is watching TV with H.

T: Do you think Richard is gonna come back for Gail and the kids?
H: Yeh he does I read it in the paper.
T: Really?
H: Yep.
T: Mm.
There is quiet as they watch Coronation street.
H: She was a bit stupid really. Gail I mean. You know, if your husbands a serial killer you should know shouldn’t you?
T: Probably.
H: Mm.
There is another long pause.
T: How do you think Snuggly is getting along on his mission?
H: Probably not very well.
T: Mm?
H: Well it’s his second mission ain’t it, so it’s like a sequel.
T: Mm?
H: Well sequels in general are usually poor. There’s usually old jokes used up in the first one, some radical storylines are added to make it more appealing, but at the end of the day, it’s inferior to the original. I bet exactly the same material as in the first mission is being used at this very moment…

Back in the hollowed out volcano, Snuggly is running up a long flight of stairs, he finally reaches a room, kicks open the door. A chair sits in the room facing the other way. The chair spins round, revealing a man with a cigar in his mouth, and eye patch and a monkey on his lap. He removes his cigar.
Bobjob: Mr Snuggly I’ve been expecting you…
Snuggly: Whoa, deja vu!
Bobjob: Huh?
Snuggly: Nothing there was just a moment that was exactly the same on my first mission when I met C Douch for the first time. He had an eye patch, cigar and a monkey just like you.
Bobjob: Interesting.
Snuggly: Oh and he said exactly the same thing.
Bobjob: Mm..

Back in the SR HQ
H: Yeh I bet you he is running out of witty, original and funny things to say right at this moment.

Back in the hollowed out volcano.
Snuggly and Bobjob have been standing in the same room for several minutes making only small talk.
Snuggly: Nice weather hey?
Bobjob: I live in a hollowed out volcano, I don’t notice the weather since there’s no windows.
Snuggly: Oh.
There is a long silence again.
Snuggly: So you lived here long?
Bobjob: Nearly a year.
Silent again.
Snuggly: Er… so what’s your evil plan and who’s the woman you were spotted with within the last week?
Bobjob: I will never tell you! Hahaha!!
The monkey jumps from his lap and runs out the room. There is another long silence.
Bobjob: Fine! I’ll tell you since this is like realllllly awkward. I was never good at entertaining guests. My scheme involves creating a massive laser satellite and holding SR HQ for a ransom of five hundred gameadays!
Snuggly: Blooming hell not you as well? Why is no one sane in my world?
Bobjob: I was sane, but then I got a phone call from my mystery woman. She wanted gameadays, looked me up in the villain phone book, and together we hatched our plan. We set up the satellite, installed some computers and mainframes in this volcano, built a giant cradle just behind this secret base and will set the satellite to target SR HQ at a certain time unless you show me the GADs.
Snuggly: Bloody hell, life was much easier when I just updated the gameaday list.
Bobjob falls out of his chair (falls since he is about 1/3 of the size of the chair itself) and takes off his hat pointing it to Snuggly.
Bobjob: Now give the order to SR HQ to update the gameaday list with five hundred gameaday winners going by the name Bobjob!
Bobjob throws Snuggly a phone.
Bobjob: Do it now or eat hat!
Snuggly puts his hands up.
Slide those guns over to me
Snuggly throws them along the floor to Bobjob’s hands.
Snuggly: Wait a minute, why did I do that? You have a hat, I had two guns, yet I’m scared of your hat and give up my guns when I could have easily shot you.
Bobjob: That’s because all secret agents are fools!
Snuggly takes the phone to his ear.
Snuggly: Okay, but before I make this call, who’s your lady friend?
Bobjob: As if I am going to tell you that!
Snuggly: Then you leave me no choice…
Camera moves in for close up of Snuggly’s face.
Snuggly: … I’ll have to…
He drops the phone, lunges a hand into his pocket…
Snuggly: … Update the gameaday list…
He grins
Snuggly: Another day!
Madonna begins to play, Snuggly throws his hand out of his pocket and suddenly Bobjob is blinded by some light, extending from a small Fifa torch he has removed from his pocket. Bobjob falls to the floor.
Bobjob: Ahh! The brightness!
Snuggly runs out of the room and slides down the banisters. Bobjob is at the top of the stairs and throws his hat which curves round the spiral staircase like a boomerang, tracking Snuggly’s path. Snuggly slides quickly as the hat follows. He ducks, the hat flies over his head.
Snuggly: Phew.
The hat then suddenly randomly changes direction and heads back for him. Snuggly throws himself backwards, so he is lying on his back as he slides down. The hat sails over his head.
Snuggly: Phew.
Suddenly the hat randomly changes direction again.
Snuggly: What the?
Snuggly ducks, and seconds later feels a huge pain sail up from his groin.
Snuggly: Ergg.
Snuggly leans forward, he has reached the end of the banister. The end bit as I’m sure you are aware sticks upwards and has now collided with his groin… The hat has hit the floor, to the side of Snuggly who has now rolled off the banister onto the floor where he clutches his wounded unspeakables.
The music fades away.
“That was Madonna, Die Another Day! Next up Westlife!”
Snuggly: Nooooo!
“Uptown girl..”
In slow motion Snuggly’s fist flies upwards then downwards into a Fifa FM Radio. The music luckily stops. Snuggly jumps up and runs into a big room with a big sign above it saying “Mainframe” room. He locks the door behind him.
Snuggly: I have not much time, I must now destroy these mainframes for some reason. It seems like the right thing to do. First I better make sure there is nothing that needs backing up on the computers!
Snuggly taps on one of the computers.
Snuggly: Mm… some good games on this. Oh!! A classic! Manic Miner.
Snuggly shoves the USB minidrive into the back of the computer.
Snuggly: Porn!!
He begins to drag and drop various files on to the newly created drive.

1 hr later
Snuggly: Okay. We’ve got the windows start up disk, everything’s backed up that should be. Now “format c: /q”. Think that’s it.. Or is it P… Mm..
The computer starts formatting.
Snuggly: Haha! Done!
Snuggly stands up.
Snuggly: Now to put an end to this evil mainframe. I’m not trained in component fitting for nothing!
Snuggly runs over to the mainframes and begins to pull certain wires out, and several componenets.
Snuggly: Sabotaged!! I rock!
Snuggly looks at his watch.
Snuggly: Objective 1 complete.
Mystique: Hey is that one of those spy watches?
Snuggly: Where the hell did you come from?
Mystique: Was just passing, saw you didn’t have a girl in your spoof so I joined it. You can’t have a spy film with out a gorgeous bird in it init?
Snuggly: Erm. Yeh….. I’m too confused to ask questions. I’ll just accept you are now with me.
Mystique: So is it a spy watch?
Snuggly: Sadly not. Just one of those free ones that was a Special Reserve gift a while back. I’ve got a spycam though.
Mystique: Oh let me see! (Mystique takes the spycam and takes some photos of herself). The camera loves me! Anyway what we doing here?
Snuggly pulls out a piece of paper.
Snuggly: According to T my objectives were find out what Bobjob’s evil scheme is. Done. Sabotage his evil scheme. Done. Then find out who this girl he’s hanging around with is. Underway. Milk.. Sugar.. Weetabix… hang on this is T’s shopping list.
Mystique: What so you have to tick off objectives as they are done?
Snuggly: Yeh embarrassing for a spy isn’t it.
Mystique: Yep. Okay I’m bored lets find out who this girl Bobjob’s hanging around with is.
Snuggly: Yeh.
Snuggly opens the door. As he does he is greeted with a hat in the groin.
Snuggly: Owwwwch.
He falls to the floor.
Bobjob: Got ya! Ahh!!
Mystique: Karate chop!
She kicks Bobjob to the ground. She then pulls out a gun and points it at him.
Mystique: Who’s your female friend?
Bobjob: I will never tell you!
Snuggly: Gimme that! Male pride says I should hold the gun.
Snuggly takes it off her and points the gun at him.
Snuggly: Tell me!
Bobjob: Never!!
Snuggly reaches into his pocket.
Snuggly: Mystique, rub these cleaning wipes in his face. It will make him talk.
Mystique proceeds by rubbing PC cleaning wipes in Bobjob’s face.
Bobjob: Ahhrg soap in my mouth!!! I will never tell you though!
Suddenly there is a gunshot. Snuggly dives out the way as it narrowly misses. The woman from the CCTV footage appears.
Woman: I ‘ere you been looking for me.
Mystique: Eww! That woman has a boy’s voice! Grosssss!
Snuggly: That’s no woman! That’s a man!
Mystique: How can it be she’s got long hair, a dress and make up on! No man would wear make up and have hair that long. Men wear shirts and stuff! Not dresses! That would be like so gross!
Snuggly: Er. It’s a man dressed up as a woman.
Mystique: Eww!!
Snuggly shoots the gun out of the “woman’s” hands.
Snuggly: Take off the wig or I’ll shoot!
“Woman”: Never! Not until you give me those gameadays!!
Snuggly: Look please just reveal yourself I’m sure the script writer is sick and tired of writing your name down as “woman”.
“Woman”: Okay! Fine! I am…. Grix Thraves!
(Gasps all around)
Snuggly: But why Grix? You’re a notable! Not a regular or a newbie. I’d expect it from them… but a notable?!
Grix: Look! The reason I did it is because I’m a notable! I get drunk every night because I can’t handle the fact I’ve got so few gameadays! Look at Pb and Meka Dragon they are at the top! I wanna be there!
Snuggly: Er Ant’s a notable he has the same gameadays as you. He doesn’t run around dressing up as women to get gameadays.
Grix: He dresses up at weekends though and calls himself Sally!
Snuggly: Your Honour has less gameadays then you…
Grix: Who cares?!! I don’t want to have more I want to have the most! Meka has spoilt my fame for too long! Now you die!
Grix fires his gun.
Snuggly: Noo!!
Bubbles come out of the gun.
Grix: Darnit! Those kids!
A group of 5 kids come in with a dog.
Phillip: Yeh we worked out your game! We sabotaged your mainframe, switched over your real gun with a bubble gun and sent an e-mail to Special Reserve telling them your evil scheme. Now I want a gameaday!
Grix: Darnit and I would have got away for it if it wasn’t for those pesky kids!
Grix shakes his fist in anger at the kids.
Suddenly SR Special Agents come in and handcuff Grix and drag him to a car.
T: Well done boys! Good work. Shame my staff aren’t as efficient as you. (Looks disapprovingly at Snuggly).
Snuggly: These kids are taking credit for my work! I sabotaged the mainframes!
Sfone: No you didn’t!!
Snuggly: Yes I did!
Sfone: No you didn’t!
Snuggly: Did!
Sfone: Didn’t.
It goes silent.
Snuggly: Did.
Dog: Snooby Boo!
Sfone: We uploaded a virus that when the program was opened or anyone disrupted the files on the computers it would blow the computer too smithereens with enough power to blow up this whole volcano after two hours!
Snuggly looks at his watch and grins.
Snuggly: Here kiddies. Since you did such good work, here’s a remote control car and Pino robot to say well done. Why don’t you go and play it inside say by the mainframe room.
Pal88: Yeh!!!
The kids run into the volcano with the remote control car and Pino robot.
Snuggly gets into the Special Reserve car with T.
T: Another job well done.
Snuggly: Wait a minute… Where’s Bobjob?
T: Looks like he’s got away!
Snuggly gasps.
T: Ah well, how far can a midget in a Smart car go without us finding him.
Snuggly: True.
T: And it opens up possibilities of new adventures!
Snuggly: Hurray.
The car engine starts and the car approaches a T junction.
Snuggly looks at his watch.
Snuggly: 3, 2, 1…
Suddenly there is a massive explosion. T and Snuggly see the volcano explode to smithereens in the wing mirror.
T: Those young kids were in there!
Snuggly: Ah well.
T: I’m sure something else will sort it out. Want to go for a coffee?
Snuggly: Sure.
T puts the radio on.
T: By the way, now that I have remembered, you have to update the gameaday list.
Snuggly: Can’t be bothered. I’ll do it….
Close up of Snuggly
Snuggly: … Another day!

THE END
Wed 19/03/03 at 17:11
Regular
"Black pepper?"
Posts: 702
Nice one. Funny too.
Wed 19/03/03 at 16:21
Regular
"Going nowhere fast"
Posts: 6,574
That was fun, especially liked the 'T just T' section.
Mon 17/03/03 at 22:45
Regular
"Being Ignorant"
Posts: 2,574
Damn good post man!
Mon 17/03/03 at 22:22
Regular
"Hmmm....."
Posts: 12,243
Heh, I noticed the title and found it funny so I read on.

Twas good.
Sun 16/03/03 at 22:02
Regular
"Fear my wrath..."
Posts: 2,044
It had been a long time since I wrote a spoof, and the old one was crying out for a sequel. So pen to paper or keyboard rather and away I went!

And I made sure I put you in it Hercules cos you seem to be the only person who reads my spoofs ;)
Sun 16/03/03 at 21:55
Regular
"TheShiznit.co.uk"
Posts: 6,592
The title alone was enough to make me laugh.
Sun 16/03/03 at 15:14
Regular
Posts: 18,775
Mm..
Sun 16/03/03 at 14:40
Regular
"Hmmm....."
Posts: 12,243
Awesome

:-D
Sun 16/03/03 at 12:53
Regular
"Fear my wrath..."
Posts: 2,044
Last time on Ali Snuggly Secret Agent!
Tony reinvented the Special Reserve HQ as an intelligence base intent on saving the world!
Tony changed everyone’s names to give him or her an authentic James Bond name! Tony became T, Ali became James by deed pol, Brad became B and Hybrid Valves became H!
CDouch planned to blow up Fort SR and therefore make all the gameadays radioactive. The second part of his plan involved supplied games he had won, after taking out all the competition.
However, Snuggly saved the day, sending CDouch to the place of no return Newcastle!

Somewhere in a secret base in England, possibly near the Sawbridgesworth Special Reserve HQ….

T: James, the gameaday list needs updating again. You haven’t updated it in almost a week.
Snuggly: I can’t be bothered.
T: The world also needs saving.
Snuggly: What now? Have some terrorists got hold of a nuclear missile? Have they made a dirty bomb? Have weapons inspectors finally found some weapons of mass destruction in Iraq?
T: Much worse Ali… Hercules has released a singing career.
Snuggly: Oh dear no…

(Slightly altered Madonna Die Another Day Music begins to play from a radio on T (Tony’s) desk only replace die with “Update the Gameday List”, obviously said much quicker so it fits in to one syllable).

T begins to dance in rhythm with the music. He goes into an Egyptian dance around the office. Tony comes out and joins him humming. Soon the entire office is dancing around Snuggly.

T and B together: Update-the-gameaday-list… another day
Snuggly turns off the radio.
Snuggly: I resent listening to that vile excuse for mu… We don’t sell it do we?
B: No sir.
Snuggly: Okay good I can abuse it then. I resent listening to that vile excuse for music. Madonna should just give up. She can’t act, she can’t sing and she can’t be in my James Bond spoof!

Cut to a paddle boat on the River Thames, Hercules is laughing and is standing on the back of it with a Tommy gun. He is being rowed by a typical henchman. He is being chased by three people in three separate dinghy’s each, all three are paddling to pursue the boat.
Hercules: Eat this suckers!
He lets rip with his massive weapon, pumping bullets behind him.
Pursuer 1: No you punctured my dinghy!
The dinghy starts deflating. The pursuer stops rowing and dives over the puncture.
Pursuer 2: Quick! Use your puncture repair kit!
Hercules: Hahaha! I’m releasing a singing career if you like it or not!
Pursuer 3: Never!
Pursuer 3 is now in touching distance of Hercule’s boat.
Pursuer 1’s dinghy is now extremely deflated to the point where he is desperately trying to empty it of water as he sinks.
Pursuer 1: The water’s cold! Freezing cold!!
Pursuer 2: Jump into mine
Pursuer 1: It’s too late!!
Pursuer 1 disappears below the water. Pursuer 3 leaps over to Hercule’s boat. It rocks about. Anyone who’s tried to stand on a lilo in a swimming pool will understand that as Pursuer 3 jumps on to it, he stacks it and falls into the water.
Hercules: Now evil Special Reserve agent it’s time to die!!
Pursuer 2 gasps as the barrel of the gun is pointed in his face. Suddenly he looks to the sky.
Pursuer 2: What’s that??!?
Hercules looks to the sky.
Pursuer 2: Is it a bird? Is it a plane…?
Hercules: No it’s the sun you moron.
Hercules executes him there and then. Suddenly there is the sound of sawing. Hercules turns to find a hole in his boat. A head pops up. Hercules tries to work out who it is, but the face is shielded by a scuba helmet.
He spits out the snorkel.
Scuba man: The names Snuggly.
Snuggly points gun at Hercules. He flicks the safety catch off.
Snuggly: James Snuggly, secret agent.
Hercules: Oh holy sham-oley.
The gunshot is heard but we are now taken back to SR HQ, where Snuggly is in a suit and walking over to the lift. He puts his hand on the hand imprint.
Voice: Welcome back Mr. Snuggly 007. Congratulations on taking out that terrorist Hercules.
Snuggly: It was nothing. Wait a minute why am I talking to a machine.
The door opens.
Voice: Please allow a retina scan.
Snuggly moves his eyes into the retina scanning machine.
Voice: Please come in.
Another door opens.
Snuggly: T, you called…
T: Yes Mr. Snuggly. Congratulations on your job on the river. Three agents drowned in that battle. Luckily you stopped it from getting further out of hand.
Snuggly: You know those deaths really could have been prevented if we had a swimming tutorial as part of the training course.
T: MM.. Interesting idea I’ll remember that.
Snuggly: Nice new security by the way. I didn’t think retina scanners existed.
T: They don’t. Neither does the hand scan thing. It’s just for show..
Snuggly: What? But it identified me.
T: One of Schroeder’s jobs is to look at who’s coming to the door and then talk into a voice changer. I just thought it was a nice touch.
Snuggly: Right.. so anyone could walk in and take you out? Say a terrorist or a deranged kid who hasn’t won a gameaday so far?
T: Yeh pretty much.
Snuggly: Fair enough. So what’s this new mission?
T: Ahh yes.. do you remember Bobjob?
Snuggly: Yes too well…
T: We intercepted this video from a CTV camera.
Snuggly: Mm.. that’s Bobjob but what’s he doing in a ladies store?
T: We weren’t sure, however this was taken only yesterday, thus proving the criminal Bobjob is still at large! However notice he’s conversing with this woman.
The video shows Bobjob walk up to a tall lady and stop (lets just say Bobjob is as tall as her legs – an interesting position to be in).
Snuggly: You sure he’s talking to her? It looks like he’s just how can I say it, taking advantage of his er position?
T: No see she’s bending over….. Now… to…
Snuggly: … Slap him?
T: No talk to him. He talks to her. See.
Snuggly: Yeh does look like they are talking actually.
T: Now they leave together… but where.
Snuggly: Mm… to destroy the world? It’s highly possible.
T: Yes but who is thia tall lady? We’ve searched the Special Reserve consumer base and the only female on it is Mystique… and you converted her from the evil side and she’s now our “work experience” girl for a month for some reason.
Snuggly: Yeh she fancies H.
T: No idea why, do you think it’s the goatee he is growing to make himself look cool? Oh speaking of Mystique…
Mystique has entered the room with coffees.
Mystique: Here’s your coffee Mr T.
T: “T.” Please “T”.
Mystique: You want tea?
T: No my name’s T not Mr T.
Mystique: You missed a tea? What? You have a scheduled tea or something?
T: What? Look I’m just saying it’s T. Plain old T, nothing more.
Mystique: Plain tea? As in not herbal?
T: No not as in… Oh forget it. The coffee’s fine, now go and see if anyone else wants coffee.
Mystique: Okey doke.
Mystique leaves the room.
T: You just can’t get the tea and coffee people these days… Anyway where were we?
Snuggly: We were discussing the lack of female consumers and trying to work out the identity of the lady with Bobjob.
T: Oh yes. Maybe I should search again.
T uses his laptop and opens up a database.
He starts a search for gender: female.
5 seconds later, two entries have appeared and the search is apparently now finished with 2 results.
T: Yep, see - Mystique and Schroeder.
Snuggly: Surely not Schroeder?
T: Let me see.
T taps his intercom.
T: Schroeder are you plotting to destroy the world with Bobjob?
Schroeder (over intercom): No..
T: Okay no problem, sorry to bother you. (taps intercom off). See now what more proof do you need?
Snuggly: Okay, so I take it you want me to find Bobjob and his lady friend thus discovering her identity, discover their evil plot to destroy the world, save the world and be back for the new stock shipment? Do we have any leads?
T: Bobjob drives a Smart car.
Snuggly: That will surely cut it down to only a few people in this country.
T: No, only one person in the country drives a Smart car.
Snuggly: Bobjob?
T: Yes Bobjob. We’ve been watching his car for days and have managed to track him to a hollowed out volcano in Basildon.
Snuggly: In Basildon?
T: Yes in Basildon. It’s just behind the Hollywood Bowl actually. Funny that how things can be right under your nose… You know your objective James, you know the drill so lets get this show on the road!

We switch to a lab where Brad has a screwdriver and is dissembling an MP3 player.
Snuggly: How are things?
B: Oh hello James, didn’t expect you here so soon. I was just trying to fit a gun into this MP3 player. Thought it would be cool. Hang on a minute, I’ve just got to screw this in… done.
Snuggly: Interesting. So it plays MP3s and fires a gun.
B: Exactly! Watch!
B sticks some headphones in, and presses play. He puts an earphone in Snuggly’s ear.
Snuggly: I see.
B then presses stop, points it to a target a few meters away and presses another button. The MP3 player explodes in his hands. He drops it.
B: Ow! Hot!
Snuggly: Still not fully functioning yet right? Any idea why?
B picks up the MP3 player.
B: Oh whoops, I forgot to make a hole for the bullet to come out of. Darnit.
Snuggly: Ah well, better luck next time.
B: I’ve let Tony down haven’t I? I’m meant to be Q yet I’m yet to make my own successful invention!
Snuggly: Mmm… but you can always take gadgets from the factory downstairs can’t you?
B: Yeh I know but it’s not quite the same.
Snuggly: Surely you’ve made some other inventions?
B: I made a solar powered toothbrush.
He walks over to the table and opens the draw. He pulls out a toothbrush that begins to vibrate.
Snuggly: That’s amazing!
B: Well, it would be, but it hurts your gums when you put it in your mouth. It vibrates too much. It knocked out my tooth here.. (He opens his mouth) See?
Snuggly: I see.
B: Okay! Lets get down to business! Gadgets! First up is the [email protected] (SPYCAM) 100 PLUS USB DIGITAL VIDEO/STILL CAMERA FOR PC. It’s a digital camera for PC, Ultra light weight, Takes up to 80 shots, 2 MB memory, Stores up to 10 seconds of video, Can be used as a web cam when connected to PC via USB port, and requires 166 MMX CPU or above.
B hands Snuggly a camera.
Snuggly: Okay… so it’s a tiny digital camera.
B: Yes for taking top secret photos!
Snuggly: What else you got for me?
B: A USB MINIDRIVE - 256MB., Awesome portable storage device, Plugs straight into USB port, Holds up to 256 MB of data, Lockable memory - password protected, Waterproof, Lightweight - just 20g (approx), Small size - 77mm x 25mm x 9mm - ideal for your key ring!, No drivers required for Win ME / MAC OS 9 or higher, Supplied with drivers for win 95 OSR2/98/98SE, Requires no external power, Also includes USB extention lead, neck strap and manual!
Snuggly: And why would I need that?
B: In case Bobjob and his female friend have some good files on their computer, or you fancy surfing the internet and taking some stuff you’ve downloaded back home?
Snuggly: Fair enough… could happen… I suppose.. Gadget number 3?
B: PINO ROBOT., Interacts through 5 built in sensors, 5 different attitude modes, He can walk, talk, sing and dance, Develops his own personality depending on how you treat him, Dimensions (with arms by his side)- 365mm(h) X182mm(w) X112mm(d) Pino is an interactive young, defenseless robot that has no knowledge of the world. The way that you treat your Pino determines how your Pino will eventually turn out in terms of its attitude towards you as it gradually builds it's personality and a repertoire of tricks. Comparisons have been made with Sony's Aibo robot but this little gadget is much cheaper and is much more suited to children as well as adults. With love, care and attention you may have a little charmer to take care of but show it neglect and you'll have a naughty little Pino on your hands!
Snuggly: Right… so a robot that can do things?
B: Yep…
Snuggly: You’re not really getting the hang of this useful gadget idea are you?
B: No wait I’m saving the best gadgets for last! An OFFICIAL FIFA 2003 FM RADIO AND TORCH!
Snuggly coughs.
B: CLEANING WIPES FOR COMPUTERS AND CONSOLES. Pack of 100 Wipes to Clean and protect against harmful dust and static build up without streaking or scratching!
Snuggly: Yes harmful dust and static build up, what was I thinking leaving on my mission without them!
B: And finally….. a rally car!
Snuggly’s eyes light up.
Snuggly: Now we’re talking!
B: Yes that’s right! The RALLY RACER (OVAL BASE) REMOTE CONTROL CAR (COLOURS MAY VARY).. The worlds smallest remote control cars, All in one radio controlled 1:64 miniature car, Full function radio controller built into lid, Fast and controllable, Approx size 6 X 3 X 2.5 cms, Requires 3 x AA batteries (not supplied) Cool stuff! These miniature RC cars are fully functional radio control replicas of the real thing. The can lid is the RC handset with left, right, forward and reverse controls making these little cars very manoeuvrable with great speed! No license required, just add batteries (3x AA - not included). Available in 3 frequencies (27Mhz, 40Mhz and 49Mhz).
Snuggly: Sigh… Ah well, a remote control car helped me stop Bobjob last time, I’m sure it will be helpful again...
Snuggly collects his gadgets in a rucksack (sold separately) and makes his way into the SR HQ lift. He gets out on the top floor and walks over to a helicopter whose engine is started and is raring to go.
T: God speed Agent Snuggly!
Snuggly climbs into the helicopter. The helicopter almost straight away lifts off the ground. It hovers into the distance.

Soon it is hovering over Festival Leisure park, Basildon. It lands on top of the SR shop there. Snuggly climbs out of the helicopter. People below look up wowing including lots of youngsters loitering around the area trying to look like Eminem with hoods on over their caps, but having no money so not doing anything there. Snuggly walks down some stairs that take him to the back of the Basildon shop. Dressed in a tuxedo he walks out the shop towards Hollywood bowl. In no time he is in front of the hollowed out volcano surrounded by a small moat. Indeed a Smart car sits by the side of the moat.
He loads his gun under his tuxedo.
Snuggly: How come I never noticed a hollowed out volcano here before?
Snuggly clears his throat.
Snuggly: Testing.. The names Snuggly. James Snuggly.
He walks over to the moat.
Snuggly: Now how do I get across?
He looks around and notices a conveniently placed rubber dingy.
Snuggly: Ahh perfect!
Snuggly gets in the dingy and rows across to the other side (which is in fact only only 5 metres away from the other side). Snuggly climbs out the boat then runs over to the volcano with his back to the wall. He loads two guns.
Snuggly: Time to kick some ar5e!

Meanwhile… Back in the SR HQ!

T is watching TV with H.

T: Do you think Richard is gonna come back for Gail and the kids?
H: Yeh he does I read it in the paper.
T: Really?
H: Yep.
T: Mm.
There is quiet as they watch Coronation street.
H: She was a bit stupid really. Gail I mean. You know, if your husbands a serial killer you should know shouldn’t you?
T: Probably.
H: Mm.
There is another long pause.
T: How do you think Snuggly is getting along on his mission?
H: Probably not very well.
T: Mm?
H: Well it’s his second mission ain’t it, so it’s like a sequel.
T: Mm?
H: Well sequels in general are usually poor. There’s usually old jokes used up in the first one, some radical storylines are added to make it more appealing, but at the end of the day, it’s inferior to the original. I bet exactly the same material as in the first mission is being used at this very moment…

Back in the hollowed out volcano, Snuggly is running up a long flight of stairs, he finally reaches a room, kicks open the door. A chair sits in the room facing the other way. The chair spins round, revealing a man with a cigar in his mouth, and eye patch and a monkey on his lap. He removes his cigar.
Bobjob: Mr Snuggly I’ve been expecting you…
Snuggly: Whoa, deja vu!
Bobjob: Huh?
Snuggly: Nothing there was just a moment that was exactly the same on my first mission when I met C Douch for the first time. He had an eye patch, cigar and a monkey just like you.
Bobjob: Interesting.
Snuggly: Oh and he said exactly the same thing.
Bobjob: Mm..

Back in the SR HQ
H: Yeh I bet you he is running out of witty, original and funny things to say right at this moment.

Back in the hollowed out volcano.
Snuggly and Bobjob have been standing in the same room for several minutes making only small talk.
Snuggly: Nice weather hey?
Bobjob: I live in a hollowed out volcano, I don’t notice the weather since there’s no windows.
Snuggly: Oh.
There is a long silence again.
Snuggly: So you lived here long?
Bobjob: Nearly a year.
Silent again.
Snuggly: Er… so what’s your evil plan and who’s the woman you were spotted with within the last week?
Bobjob: I will never tell you! Hahaha!!
The monkey jumps from his lap and runs out the room. There is another long silence.
Bobjob: Fine! I’ll tell you since this is like realllllly awkward. I was never good at entertaining guests. My scheme involves creating a massive laser satellite and holding SR HQ for a ransom of five hundred gameadays!
Snuggly: Blooming hell not you as well? Why is no one sane in my world?
Bobjob: I was sane, but then I got a phone call from my mystery woman. She wanted gameadays, looked me up in the villain phone book, and together we hatched our plan. We set up the satellite, installed some computers and mainframes in this volcano, built a giant cradle just behind this secret base and will set the satellite to target SR HQ at a certain time unless you show me the GADs.
Snuggly: Bloody hell, life was much easier when I just updated the gameaday list.
Bobjob falls out of his chair (falls since he is about 1/3 of the size of the chair itself) and takes off his hat pointing it to Snuggly.
Bobjob: Now give the order to SR HQ to update the gameaday list with five hundred gameaday winners going by the name Bobjob!
Bobjob throws Snuggly a phone.
Bobjob: Do it now or eat hat!
Snuggly puts his hands up.
Slide those guns over to me
Snuggly throws them along the floor to Bobjob’s hands.
Snuggly: Wait a minute, why did I do that? You have a hat, I had two guns, yet I’m scared of your hat and give up my guns when I could have easily shot you.
Bobjob: That’s because all secret agents are fools!
Snuggly takes the phone to his ear.
Snuggly: Okay, but before I make this call, who’s your lady friend?
Bobjob: As if I am going to tell you that!
Snuggly: Then you leave me no choice…
Camera moves in for close up of Snuggly’s face.
Snuggly: … I’ll have to…
He drops the phone, lunges a hand into his pocket…
Snuggly: … Update the gameaday list…
He grins
Snuggly: Another day!
Madonna begins to play, Snuggly throws his hand out of his pocket and suddenly Bobjob is blinded by some light, extending from a small Fifa torch he has removed from his pocket. Bobjob falls to the floor.
Bobjob: Ahh! The brightness!
Snuggly runs out of the room and slides down the banisters. Bobjob is at the top of the stairs and throws his hat which curves round the spiral staircase like a boomerang, tracking Snuggly’s path. Snuggly slides quickly as the hat follows. He ducks, the hat flies over his head.
Snuggly: Phew.
The hat then suddenly randomly changes direction and heads back for him. Snuggly throws himself backwards, so he is lying on his back as he slides down. The hat sails over his head.
Snuggly: Phew.
Suddenly the hat randomly changes direction again.
Snuggly: What the?
Snuggly ducks, and seconds later feels a huge pain sail up from his groin.
Snuggly: Ergg.
Snuggly leans forward, he has reached the end of the banister. The end bit as I’m sure you are aware sticks upwards and has now collided with his groin… The hat has hit the floor, to the side of Snuggly who has now rolled off the banister onto the floor where he clutches his wounded unspeakables.
The music fades away.
“That was Madonna, Die Another Day! Next up Westlife!”
Snuggly: Nooooo!
“Uptown girl..”
In slow motion Snuggly’s fist flies upwards then downwards into a Fifa FM Radio. The music luckily stops. Snuggly jumps up and runs into a big room with a big sign above it saying “Mainframe” room. He locks the door behind him.
Snuggly: I have not much time, I must now destroy these mainframes for some reason. It seems like the right thing to do. First I better make sure there is nothing that needs backing up on the computers!
Snuggly taps on one of the computers.
Snuggly: Mm… some good games on this. Oh!! A classic! Manic Miner.
Snuggly shoves the USB minidrive into the back of the computer.
Snuggly: Porn!!
He begins to drag and drop various files on to the newly created drive.

1 hr later
Snuggly: Okay. We’ve got the windows start up disk, everything’s backed up that should be. Now “format c: /q”. Think that’s it.. Or is it P… Mm..
The computer starts formatting.
Snuggly: Haha! Done!
Snuggly stands up.
Snuggly: Now to put an end to this evil mainframe. I’m not trained in component fitting for nothing!
Snuggly runs over to the mainframes and begins to pull certain wires out, and several componenets.
Snuggly: Sabotaged!! I rock!
Snuggly looks at his watch.
Snuggly: Objective 1 complete.
Mystique: Hey is that one of those spy watches?
Snuggly: Where the hell did you come from?
Mystique: Was just passing, saw you didn’t have a girl in your spoof so I joined it. You can’t have a spy film with out a gorgeous bird in it init?
Snuggly: Erm. Yeh….. I’m too confused to ask questions. I’ll just accept you are now with me.
Mystique: So is it a spy watch?
Snuggly: Sadly not. Just one of those free ones that was a Special Reserve gift a while back. I’ve got a spycam though.
Mystique: Oh let me see! (Mystique takes the spycam and takes some photos of herself). The camera loves me! Anyway what we doing here?
Snuggly pulls out a piece of paper.
Snuggly: According to T my objectives were find out what Bobjob’s evil scheme is. Done. Sabotage his evil scheme. Done. Then find out who this girl he’s hanging around with is. Underway. Milk.. Sugar.. Weetabix… hang on this is T’s shopping list.
Mystique: What so you have to tick off objectives as they are done?
Snuggly: Yeh embarrassing for a spy isn’t it.
Mystique: Yep. Okay I’m bored lets find out who this girl Bobjob’s hanging around with is.
Snuggly: Yeh.
Snuggly opens the door. As he does he is greeted with a hat in the groin.
Snuggly: Owwwwch.
He falls to the floor.
Bobjob: Got ya! Ahh!!
Mystique: Karate chop!
She kicks Bobjob to the ground. She then pulls out a gun and points it at him.
Mystique: Who’s your female friend?
Bobjob: I will never tell you!
Snuggly: Gimme that! Male pride says I should hold the gun.
Snuggly takes it off her and points the gun at him.
Snuggly: Tell me!
Bobjob: Never!!
Snuggly reaches into his pocket.
Snuggly: Mystique, rub these cleaning wipes in his face. It will make him talk.
Mystique proceeds by rubbing PC cleaning wipes in Bobjob’s face.
Bobjob: Ahhrg soap in my mouth!!! I will never tell you though!
Suddenly there is a gunshot. Snuggly dives out the way as it narrowly misses. The woman from the CCTV footage appears.
Woman: I ‘ere you been looking for me.
Mystique: Eww! That woman has a boy’s voice! Grosssss!
Snuggly: That’s no woman! That’s a man!
Mystique: How can it be she’s got long hair, a dress and make up on! No man would wear make up and have hair that long. Men wear shirts and stuff! Not dresses! That would be like so gross!
Snuggly: Er. It’s a man dressed up as a woman.
Mystique: Eww!!
Snuggly shoots the gun out of the “woman’s” hands.
Snuggly: Take off the wig or I’ll shoot!
“Woman”: Never! Not until you give me those gameadays!!
Snuggly: Look please just reveal yourself I’m sure the script writer is sick and tired of writing your name down as “woman”.
“Woman”: Okay! Fine! I am…. Grix Thraves!
(Gasps all around)
Snuggly: But why Grix? You’re a notable! Not a regular or a newbie. I’d expect it from them… but a notable?!
Grix: Look! The reason I did it is because I’m a notable! I get drunk every night because I can’t handle the fact I’ve got so few gameadays! Look at Pb and Meka Dragon they are at the top! I wanna be there!
Snuggly: Er Ant’s a notable he has the same gameadays as you. He doesn’t run around dressing up as women to get gameadays.
Grix: He dresses up at weekends though and calls himself Sally!
Snuggly: Your Honour has less gameadays then you…
Grix: Who cares?!! I don’t want to have more I want to have the most! Meka has spoilt my fame for too long! Now you die!
Grix fires his gun.
Snuggly: Noo!!
Bubbles come out of the gun.
Grix: Darnit! Those kids!
A group of 5 kids come in with a dog.
Phillip: Yeh we worked out your game! We sabotaged your mainframe, switched over your real gun with a bubble gun and sent an e-mail to Special Reserve telling them your evil scheme. Now I want a gameaday!
Grix: Darnit and I would have got away for it if it wasn’t for those pesky kids!
Grix shakes his fist in anger at the kids.
Suddenly SR Special Agents come in and handcuff Grix and drag him to a car.
T: Well done boys! Good work. Shame my staff aren’t as efficient as you. (Looks disapprovingly at Snuggly).
Snuggly: These kids are taking credit for my work! I sabotaged the mainframes!
Sfone: No you didn’t!!
Snuggly: Yes I did!
Sfone: No you didn’t!
Snuggly: Did!
Sfone: Didn’t.
It goes silent.
Snuggly: Did.
Dog: Snooby Boo!
Sfone: We uploaded a virus that when the program was opened or anyone disrupted the files on the computers it would blow the computer too smithereens with enough power to blow up this whole volcano after two hours!
Snuggly looks at his watch and grins.
Snuggly: Here kiddies. Since you did such good work, here’s a remote control car and Pino robot to say well done. Why don’t you go and play it inside say by the mainframe room.
Pal88: Yeh!!!
The kids run into the volcano with the remote control car and Pino robot.
Snuggly gets into the Special Reserve car with T.
T: Another job well done.
Snuggly: Wait a minute… Where’s Bobjob?
T: Looks like he’s got away!
Snuggly gasps.
T: Ah well, how far can a midget in a Smart car go without us finding him.
Snuggly: True.
T: And it opens up possibilities of new adventures!
Snuggly: Hurray.
The car engine starts and the car approaches a T junction.
Snuggly looks at his watch.
Snuggly: 3, 2, 1…
Suddenly there is a massive explosion. T and Snuggly see the volcano explode to smithereens in the wing mirror.
T: Those young kids were in there!
Snuggly: Ah well.
T: I’m sure something else will sort it out. Want to go for a coffee?
Snuggly: Sure.
T puts the radio on.
T: By the way, now that I have remembered, you have to update the gameaday list.
Snuggly: Can’t be bothered. I’ll do it….
Close up of Snuggly
Snuggly: … Another day!

THE END

Freeola & GetDotted are rated 5 Stars

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Thank you very much for your help!
Top service for free - excellent - thank you very much for your help.
Wonderful...
... and so easy-to-use even for a technophobe like me. I had my website up in a couple of hours. Thank you.
Vivien

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