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There have been many famous sex scandals of recent times. Jordan and Gareth Gates. Those old Hamilton dudes having dry sex with people. Jamie Theakston resorting to prostitutes after he failed to pull. That person with the, uh.. thing, doing it with that person who also does the thing. Yes, every single sex scandal raises a smile on even the most grumpy of faces, and rasies a tear in even the strongest eyes.
Well, the latest celebrity couple to indulge in each other is none other than two semi-famous politicians, Ian Prescott and former Fat Club contestant, Anne Widdicome. This comes after a long run of ‘serious flirting’ in the house of parliament, and the couple were said to have “made eye-contact, occasionally talked and even on one occasion touched arms.” The shocking touching-of-arms was said to happen in a 20 foot wide corridor. At only 20 feet wide, you can see why they had trouble both squeezing through at the same time.
Both parties clearly deny any reports of sexual behaviour. Widdicome said “I can absolutely deny it”, whilst Prescott informed us that “I did not spend the night with her last Saturday. Definitely did NOT.” He then apparently had dust in his right eye, which forced him to close it, so we can be assured that he was not winking, he was indeed cleaning his eyes.
Several important figures had something to say on this.Tony Blair said it is “Absolutely sickening”, Jack Straw was talking to reporters, and told them it was “revolting.” Ian Duncan Smith finds it “strangely attrac.. erm, strangely acrobatic. As in their minds. Acrobatic. Like stupid. Yeah.” He had to go straight after he said that to “go and collect my camera from Ms. Widdicome’s house, which I left there whilst taking photos of Ian and Anne, erm, looking at each other’s pottery.” A wide smile rised on his face after this, he went red, and started giggling.
Overseas, George Bush and Osama Bin Laden met up in the White House. George told reporters that he found the Anne-Ian saga “none of my business”. Osama Bin Laden said that it is “Quite positively down to the two little dears, old chap. If they want to dance the maypole, let the lovely little rascals do it.”
Reporters afterwards were extremely curious about Bin Laden’s presence. Bush used his entire IQ to answer their questions.
“Is Bin Laden alive?”
“I don’t know, but if he is alive, he should fear the.. United States of America!”
“How do you not know if he’s alive??? He was just talking to you.”
“That’s what they want you to think.”
“What? Was that Bin Laden or not?”
“Absolutely.”
“It was? Then, aren’t you going to arrest him?”
“.........Oopsy daisy...”
Elsewhere, several celebrities are cashing in on this to get themselves a bit of notoriety. Tara Palmer Tompkinson actually believe that she was there. It certainly got her some more attention, as she sold her story to OK! Magazine. As well as Tara jumping in on the fame boat, Jordan thinks that it may well be Prescott who is the father of her baby, and has sold her story to Hello! Magazine.
This story comes as a shock to the nation. War with Iraq is looming, we’re afraid that we might get blow up; Old ladies fear that cannibis may be legalised; so now seems like the worst time for the mental image of Prescott and Widdicome rolling around naked to be thrust into our minds.
Several House Of Commons authroties have stepped in, and warned the deadly duo to stop seeing each other immediately. They say it will make them void as politicians, obsessed with sex, and just not nice people. Some people put the dislike of sex in Parliament down to the fact that the stress coupled with long hours means that 99% of politicians are unable to perform.
However, strong words are being said to Prescott and Widdicome, and special advice is being given against threesomes. It is said that if you add any more wright to the combination of Anne and Ian, the world will swing out of orbit and collide with the sun.
This story will no doubt develop in the next few days. Stay tuned for more details, and please, for your sake, try not to think too hard about this.
End report.
Well, the latest celebrity couple to indulge in each other is none other than two semi-famous politicians, Ian Prescott and former Fat Club contestant, Anne Widdicome. This comes after a long run of ‘serious flirting’ in the house of parliament, and the couple were said to have “made eye-contact, occasionally talked and even on one occasion touched arms.” The shocking touching-of-arms was said to happen in a 20 foot wide corridor. At only 20 feet wide, you can see why they had trouble both squeezing through at the same time.
Both parties clearly deny any reports of sexual behaviour. Widdicome said “I can absolutely deny it”, whilst Prescott informed us that “I did not spend the night with her last Saturday. Definitely did NOT.” He then apparently had dust in his right eye, which forced him to close it, so we can be assured that he was not winking, he was indeed cleaning his eyes.
Several important figures had something to say on this.Tony Blair said it is “Absolutely sickening”, Jack Straw was talking to reporters, and told them it was “revolting.” Ian Duncan Smith finds it “strangely attrac.. erm, strangely acrobatic. As in their minds. Acrobatic. Like stupid. Yeah.” He had to go straight after he said that to “go and collect my camera from Ms. Widdicome’s house, which I left there whilst taking photos of Ian and Anne, erm, looking at each other’s pottery.” A wide smile rised on his face after this, he went red, and started giggling.
Overseas, George Bush and Osama Bin Laden met up in the White House. George told reporters that he found the Anne-Ian saga “none of my business”. Osama Bin Laden said that it is “Quite positively down to the two little dears, old chap. If they want to dance the maypole, let the lovely little rascals do it.”
Reporters afterwards were extremely curious about Bin Laden’s presence. Bush used his entire IQ to answer their questions.
“Is Bin Laden alive?”
“I don’t know, but if he is alive, he should fear the.. United States of America!”
“How do you not know if he’s alive??? He was just talking to you.”
“That’s what they want you to think.”
“What? Was that Bin Laden or not?”
“Absolutely.”
“It was? Then, aren’t you going to arrest him?”
“.........Oopsy daisy...”
Elsewhere, several celebrities are cashing in on this to get themselves a bit of notoriety. Tara Palmer Tompkinson actually believe that she was there. It certainly got her some more attention, as she sold her story to OK! Magazine. As well as Tara jumping in on the fame boat, Jordan thinks that it may well be Prescott who is the father of her baby, and has sold her story to Hello! Magazine.
This story comes as a shock to the nation. War with Iraq is looming, we’re afraid that we might get blow up; Old ladies fear that cannibis may be legalised; so now seems like the worst time for the mental image of Prescott and Widdicome rolling around naked to be thrust into our minds.
Several House Of Commons authroties have stepped in, and warned the deadly duo to stop seeing each other immediately. They say it will make them void as politicians, obsessed with sex, and just not nice people. Some people put the dislike of sex in Parliament down to the fact that the stress coupled with long hours means that 99% of politicians are unable to perform.
However, strong words are being said to Prescott and Widdicome, and special advice is being given against threesomes. It is said that if you add any more wright to the combination of Anne and Ian, the world will swing out of orbit and collide with the sun.
This story will no doubt develop in the next few days. Stay tuned for more details, and please, for your sake, try not to think too hard about this.
End report.
Sure... ;-)
The mental image of bulldog Prescott bumping & grinding Widdicome the hag is truly fantastic.... Er, I mean hideous.
There have been many famous sex scandals of recent times. Jordan and Gareth Gates. Those old Hamilton dudes having dry sex with people. Jamie Theakston resorting to prostitutes after he failed to pull. That person with the, uh.. thing, doing it with that person who also does the thing. Yes, every single sex scandal raises a smile on even the most grumpy of faces, and rasies a tear in even the strongest eyes.
Well, the latest celebrity couple to indulge in each other is none other than two semi-famous politicians, Ian Prescott and former Fat Club contestant, Anne Widdicome. This comes after a long run of ‘serious flirting’ in the house of parliament, and the couple were said to have “made eye-contact, occasionally talked and even on one occasion touched arms.” The shocking touching-of-arms was said to happen in a 20 foot wide corridor. At only 20 feet wide, you can see why they had trouble both squeezing through at the same time.
Both parties clearly deny any reports of sexual behaviour. Widdicome said “I can absolutely deny it”, whilst Prescott informed us that “I did not spend the night with her last Saturday. Definitely did NOT.” He then apparently had dust in his right eye, which forced him to close it, so we can be assured that he was not winking, he was indeed cleaning his eyes.
Several important figures had something to say on this.Tony Blair said it is “Absolutely sickening”, Jack Straw was talking to reporters, and told them it was “revolting.” Ian Duncan Smith finds it “strangely attrac.. erm, strangely acrobatic. As in their minds. Acrobatic. Like stupid. Yeah.” He had to go straight after he said that to “go and collect my camera from Ms. Widdicome’s house, which I left there whilst taking photos of Ian and Anne, erm, looking at each other’s pottery.” A wide smile rised on his face after this, he went red, and started giggling.
Overseas, George Bush and Osama Bin Laden met up in the White House. George told reporters that he found the Anne-Ian saga “none of my business”. Osama Bin Laden said that it is “Quite positively down to the two little dears, old chap. If they want to dance the maypole, let the lovely little rascals do it.”
Reporters afterwards were extremely curious about Bin Laden’s presence. Bush used his entire IQ to answer their questions.
“Is Bin Laden alive?”
“I don’t know, but if he is alive, he should fear the.. United States of America!”
“How do you not know if he’s alive??? He was just talking to you.”
“That’s what they want you to think.”
“What? Was that Bin Laden or not?”
“Absolutely.”
“It was? Then, aren’t you going to arrest him?”
“.........Oopsy daisy...”
Elsewhere, several celebrities are cashing in on this to get themselves a bit of notoriety. Tara Palmer Tompkinson actually believe that she was there. It certainly got her some more attention, as she sold her story to OK! Magazine. As well as Tara jumping in on the fame boat, Jordan thinks that it may well be Prescott who is the father of her baby, and has sold her story to Hello! Magazine.
This story comes as a shock to the nation. War with Iraq is looming, we’re afraid that we might get blow up; Old ladies fear that cannibis may be legalised; so now seems like the worst time for the mental image of Prescott and Widdicome rolling around naked to be thrust into our minds.
Several House Of Commons authroties have stepped in, and warned the deadly duo to stop seeing each other immediately. They say it will make them void as politicians, obsessed with sex, and just not nice people. Some people put the dislike of sex in Parliament down to the fact that the stress coupled with long hours means that 99% of politicians are unable to perform.
However, strong words are being said to Prescott and Widdicome, and special advice is being given against threesomes. It is said that if you add any more wright to the combination of Anne and Ian, the world will swing out of orbit and collide with the sun.
This story will no doubt develop in the next few days. Stay tuned for more details, and please, for your sake, try not to think too hard about this.
End report.
Well, the latest celebrity couple to indulge in each other is none other than two semi-famous politicians, Ian Prescott and former Fat Club contestant, Anne Widdicome. This comes after a long run of ‘serious flirting’ in the house of parliament, and the couple were said to have “made eye-contact, occasionally talked and even on one occasion touched arms.” The shocking touching-of-arms was said to happen in a 20 foot wide corridor. At only 20 feet wide, you can see why they had trouble both squeezing through at the same time.
Both parties clearly deny any reports of sexual behaviour. Widdicome said “I can absolutely deny it”, whilst Prescott informed us that “I did not spend the night with her last Saturday. Definitely did NOT.” He then apparently had dust in his right eye, which forced him to close it, so we can be assured that he was not winking, he was indeed cleaning his eyes.
Several important figures had something to say on this.Tony Blair said it is “Absolutely sickening”, Jack Straw was talking to reporters, and told them it was “revolting.” Ian Duncan Smith finds it “strangely attrac.. erm, strangely acrobatic. As in their minds. Acrobatic. Like stupid. Yeah.” He had to go straight after he said that to “go and collect my camera from Ms. Widdicome’s house, which I left there whilst taking photos of Ian and Anne, erm, looking at each other’s pottery.” A wide smile rised on his face after this, he went red, and started giggling.
Overseas, George Bush and Osama Bin Laden met up in the White House. George told reporters that he found the Anne-Ian saga “none of my business”. Osama Bin Laden said that it is “Quite positively down to the two little dears, old chap. If they want to dance the maypole, let the lovely little rascals do it.”
Reporters afterwards were extremely curious about Bin Laden’s presence. Bush used his entire IQ to answer their questions.
“Is Bin Laden alive?”
“I don’t know, but if he is alive, he should fear the.. United States of America!”
“How do you not know if he’s alive??? He was just talking to you.”
“That’s what they want you to think.”
“What? Was that Bin Laden or not?”
“Absolutely.”
“It was? Then, aren’t you going to arrest him?”
“.........Oopsy daisy...”
Elsewhere, several celebrities are cashing in on this to get themselves a bit of notoriety. Tara Palmer Tompkinson actually believe that she was there. It certainly got her some more attention, as she sold her story to OK! Magazine. As well as Tara jumping in on the fame boat, Jordan thinks that it may well be Prescott who is the father of her baby, and has sold her story to Hello! Magazine.
This story comes as a shock to the nation. War with Iraq is looming, we’re afraid that we might get blow up; Old ladies fear that cannibis may be legalised; so now seems like the worst time for the mental image of Prescott and Widdicome rolling around naked to be thrust into our minds.
Several House Of Commons authroties have stepped in, and warned the deadly duo to stop seeing each other immediately. They say it will make them void as politicians, obsessed with sex, and just not nice people. Some people put the dislike of sex in Parliament down to the fact that the stress coupled with long hours means that 99% of politicians are unable to perform.
However, strong words are being said to Prescott and Widdicome, and special advice is being given against threesomes. It is said that if you add any more wright to the combination of Anne and Ian, the world will swing out of orbit and collide with the sun.
This story will no doubt develop in the next few days. Stay tuned for more details, and please, for your sake, try not to think too hard about this.
End report.