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Soul Calibur 2 will bring a whole new meaning to the words 'pointless novelty' when it finally arrives on the three main consoles, each version having its own secret character unique to the system. The Xbox gets Spawn, the PS2 Heihachi, and the Gamecube good ol' pointy ears himself, Link. But what other games could take the initiative and bung in some hidden characters? And who? Well, read on to find out.
Beach Spikers, feauting SAMUS!
This is the Gamecube's effort at winning over the 'dirty teenage boy' market with lots of scantily clad females jumping up and down. Well, why not really get those taste buds tingling and suck in a few more die-hard fans by chucking everyone's favourite main character in the Metroid series - Samus! With her tight-fitting huge metal suit and morph capabilities, she could be the player and the ball!
ZOE 2, featuring SOLID SNAKE!
Sony are very clever. Hideo Kojima likewise. Proof of this is how they managed to make ZOE sell loads of units - bung in a MGS2 demo. I don't think anybody actually played ZOE, but they still bought it anyway, thanks to the Metal Gear Solid series...well, seeing as the third installment's development is barely off the ground, why not just make Solid Snake a few hundred feet tall and have him fighting against huge robots! Surely a winner!
Fifa 2004 (GC), featuring AI-AI!
That's right, the rough tough world of football meets the fuzzy wuzzy world of simians bizarrely caged in small, indestructible spheres! An unlockable option would let you trade the officially licensed Adidas football (or whatever company is the flavour of the month by then) for everyone's favourite Super Monkey (in a) Ball!
Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 5 (XBOX), featuring THE STEEL BATTALION!
We all know that eventually this one will arrive, and seeing as the franchise is so well known for its crazy unlockable characters (like Wolverine and Boba Fett) why not bung in the mech from Steel Battalion! Of course, in-game it will cost $500m to unlock and in order to actually play as it you'd need to shell out £120 on a special skateboard/cockpit peripheral.
GTA: Vice City (PC), featuring LEISURE SUIT LARRY!
With a game portraying such adult themes, there must be a way to slip in everyone's favourite PC-based sexual misadventurer, be it via a cut-scene, skin or radio station. Long live Leisure Suit Larry!
WWE Raw 2, featuring MASTER CHIEF!
Well, if an elf is good enough for one beat-em-up, surely this icon of the FPS genre is good enough for another! With his deadly melee attack, and other sneaky moves like duck and crouch, he'd be able to handle himself.
Hitman 2 (GC), featuring KIRBY!
Maybe as a little 'sorry' for it coming so much later than the other versions, the makers of this gem of a game could replace the chickens in your garden with little Kirbys for you to shoot at. Maybe.
Championship Manager 4, featuring LARA CROFT!
Get it? Because they're both published by Eidos, so maybe they could put Lara in the football game? The one with no graphics? At all? No? Wouldn't work? OK then. Forget this one.
There you go. I HOPE YOU'RE LISTENING, GAMES DEVELOPERS! Feel free to add your own.
Beach Spikers, feauting SAMUS!
This is the Gamecube's effort at winning over the 'dirty teenage boy' market with lots of scantily clad females jumping up and down. Well, why not really get those taste buds tingling and suck in a few more die-hard fans by chucking everyone's favourite main character in the Metroid series - Samus! With her tight-fitting huge metal suit and morph capabilities, she could be the player and the ball!
ZOE 2, featuring SOLID SNAKE!
Sony are very clever. Hideo Kojima likewise. Proof of this is how they managed to make ZOE sell loads of units - bung in a MGS2 demo. I don't think anybody actually played ZOE, but they still bought it anyway, thanks to the Metal Gear Solid series...well, seeing as the third installment's development is barely off the ground, why not just make Solid Snake a few hundred feet tall and have him fighting against huge robots! Surely a winner!
Fifa 2004 (GC), featuring AI-AI!
That's right, the rough tough world of football meets the fuzzy wuzzy world of simians bizarrely caged in small, indestructible spheres! An unlockable option would let you trade the officially licensed Adidas football (or whatever company is the flavour of the month by then) for everyone's favourite Super Monkey (in a) Ball!
Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 5 (XBOX), featuring THE STEEL BATTALION!
We all know that eventually this one will arrive, and seeing as the franchise is so well known for its crazy unlockable characters (like Wolverine and Boba Fett) why not bung in the mech from Steel Battalion! Of course, in-game it will cost $500m to unlock and in order to actually play as it you'd need to shell out £120 on a special skateboard/cockpit peripheral.
GTA: Vice City (PC), featuring LEISURE SUIT LARRY!
With a game portraying such adult themes, there must be a way to slip in everyone's favourite PC-based sexual misadventurer, be it via a cut-scene, skin or radio station. Long live Leisure Suit Larry!
WWE Raw 2, featuring MASTER CHIEF!
Well, if an elf is good enough for one beat-em-up, surely this icon of the FPS genre is good enough for another! With his deadly melee attack, and other sneaky moves like duck and crouch, he'd be able to handle himself.
Hitman 2 (GC), featuring KIRBY!
Maybe as a little 'sorry' for it coming so much later than the other versions, the makers of this gem of a game could replace the chickens in your garden with little Kirbys for you to shoot at. Maybe.
Championship Manager 4, featuring LARA CROFT!
Get it? Because they're both published by Eidos, so maybe they could put Lara in the football game? The one with no graphics? At all? No? Wouldn't work? OK then. Forget this one.
There you go. I HOPE YOU'RE LISTENING, GAMES DEVELOPERS! Feel free to add your own.
The Metroid/Beach Spikers one was the best. :)
Nice post EB.
Nice post EB.
Soul Calibur 2 will bring a whole new meaning to the words 'pointless novelty' when it finally arrives on the three main consoles, each version having its own secret character unique to the system. The Xbox gets Spawn, the PS2 Heihachi, and the Gamecube good ol' pointy ears himself, Link. But what other games could take the initiative and bung in some hidden characters? And who? Well, read on to find out.
Beach Spikers, feauting SAMUS!
This is the Gamecube's effort at winning over the 'dirty teenage boy' market with lots of scantily clad females jumping up and down. Well, why not really get those taste buds tingling and suck in a few more die-hard fans by chucking everyone's favourite main character in the Metroid series - Samus! With her tight-fitting huge metal suit and morph capabilities, she could be the player and the ball!
ZOE 2, featuring SOLID SNAKE!
Sony are very clever. Hideo Kojima likewise. Proof of this is how they managed to make ZOE sell loads of units - bung in a MGS2 demo. I don't think anybody actually played ZOE, but they still bought it anyway, thanks to the Metal Gear Solid series...well, seeing as the third installment's development is barely off the ground, why not just make Solid Snake a few hundred feet tall and have him fighting against huge robots! Surely a winner!
Fifa 2004 (GC), featuring AI-AI!
That's right, the rough tough world of football meets the fuzzy wuzzy world of simians bizarrely caged in small, indestructible spheres! An unlockable option would let you trade the officially licensed Adidas football (or whatever company is the flavour of the month by then) for everyone's favourite Super Monkey (in a) Ball!
Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 5 (XBOX), featuring THE STEEL BATTALION!
We all know that eventually this one will arrive, and seeing as the franchise is so well known for its crazy unlockable characters (like Wolverine and Boba Fett) why not bung in the mech from Steel Battalion! Of course, in-game it will cost $500m to unlock and in order to actually play as it you'd need to shell out £120 on a special skateboard/cockpit peripheral.
GTA: Vice City (PC), featuring LEISURE SUIT LARRY!
With a game portraying such adult themes, there must be a way to slip in everyone's favourite PC-based sexual misadventurer, be it via a cut-scene, skin or radio station. Long live Leisure Suit Larry!
WWE Raw 2, featuring MASTER CHIEF!
Well, if an elf is good enough for one beat-em-up, surely this icon of the FPS genre is good enough for another! With his deadly melee attack, and other sneaky moves like duck and crouch, he'd be able to handle himself.
Hitman 2 (GC), featuring KIRBY!
Maybe as a little 'sorry' for it coming so much later than the other versions, the makers of this gem of a game could replace the chickens in your garden with little Kirbys for you to shoot at. Maybe.
Championship Manager 4, featuring LARA CROFT!
Get it? Because they're both published by Eidos, so maybe they could put Lara in the football game? The one with no graphics? At all? No? Wouldn't work? OK then. Forget this one.
There you go. I HOPE YOU'RE LISTENING, GAMES DEVELOPERS! Feel free to add your own.
Beach Spikers, feauting SAMUS!
This is the Gamecube's effort at winning over the 'dirty teenage boy' market with lots of scantily clad females jumping up and down. Well, why not really get those taste buds tingling and suck in a few more die-hard fans by chucking everyone's favourite main character in the Metroid series - Samus! With her tight-fitting huge metal suit and morph capabilities, she could be the player and the ball!
ZOE 2, featuring SOLID SNAKE!
Sony are very clever. Hideo Kojima likewise. Proof of this is how they managed to make ZOE sell loads of units - bung in a MGS2 demo. I don't think anybody actually played ZOE, but they still bought it anyway, thanks to the Metal Gear Solid series...well, seeing as the third installment's development is barely off the ground, why not just make Solid Snake a few hundred feet tall and have him fighting against huge robots! Surely a winner!
Fifa 2004 (GC), featuring AI-AI!
That's right, the rough tough world of football meets the fuzzy wuzzy world of simians bizarrely caged in small, indestructible spheres! An unlockable option would let you trade the officially licensed Adidas football (or whatever company is the flavour of the month by then) for everyone's favourite Super Monkey (in a) Ball!
Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 5 (XBOX), featuring THE STEEL BATTALION!
We all know that eventually this one will arrive, and seeing as the franchise is so well known for its crazy unlockable characters (like Wolverine and Boba Fett) why not bung in the mech from Steel Battalion! Of course, in-game it will cost $500m to unlock and in order to actually play as it you'd need to shell out £120 on a special skateboard/cockpit peripheral.
GTA: Vice City (PC), featuring LEISURE SUIT LARRY!
With a game portraying such adult themes, there must be a way to slip in everyone's favourite PC-based sexual misadventurer, be it via a cut-scene, skin or radio station. Long live Leisure Suit Larry!
WWE Raw 2, featuring MASTER CHIEF!
Well, if an elf is good enough for one beat-em-up, surely this icon of the FPS genre is good enough for another! With his deadly melee attack, and other sneaky moves like duck and crouch, he'd be able to handle himself.
Hitman 2 (GC), featuring KIRBY!
Maybe as a little 'sorry' for it coming so much later than the other versions, the makers of this gem of a game could replace the chickens in your garden with little Kirbys for you to shoot at. Maybe.
Championship Manager 4, featuring LARA CROFT!
Get it? Because they're both published by Eidos, so maybe they could put Lara in the football game? The one with no graphics? At all? No? Wouldn't work? OK then. Forget this one.
There you go. I HOPE YOU'RE LISTENING, GAMES DEVELOPERS! Feel free to add your own.