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With George W. Bush having turned down Saddam Hussein’s offer of a live TV sparring match due to the risk of the linguistically challenged redneck being completely out of his depth in a heated political debate, and the large possibility of Saddam making him look even more stupid (a tough thing to do, but it could be possible), Saddam has now decided to opt for his next choice in steering his nation away from war; he has challenged Tony Blair to an old fashion style joust.
It came as a massive surprise when, live on Iraqi television, Saddam threw down a metal gauntlet, fired his trusty rifle into the air and proposed a duel of horseback jousting to settle the current crisis once and for all.
The prospects of a Blair-Hussein jousting contest to resolve the Iraq crisis is seen as a huge gamble in some quarters, but the options and logistics of the challenge are being carefully planned and considered by various political groups and security agencies. It is not known at this precise time why Saddam would propose a traditional English style joust, but it is rumoured that he came from a long line of Middle Eastern jousting champions with moustaches, so has pedigree jousting blood flowing through his veins and is willing and able to follow on in his jousting family’s footsteps to save his country from Western aggression.
Prime Minister Blair is also huge fan of jousting, having been a successful jousting champion during his time at university, and it is believed that if this contest could end the current crisis, he’ll do it for the sake of humanity.
When interviewed, Blair said, “in many way I see myself as a brave, dashing and chivalrous knight, ready to battle against the dark knight of tyranny, so jousting would be a good manly way to settle any arguments.”
Top jousting coach Archibald Sinclair-Beauchamp has been brought in to hone Mr. Blair’s jousting skills, and top wrestler The Rock has been allowed to train him the finer arts of melee combat should the joust end up a battle to the death with handheld weapons, and even sticks.
Instead of wearing traditional heavy metal armour, the combatants will wear special lightweight yet highly protective armour. All the largest multinational corporations and businesses are clambering to sponsor various parts of the combatant’s suits to make a quick buck by having their names on the ultimate showpiece event seen by billions of television viewers around the globe. Dick Proud of the American Advertising Agency said, “This event is being seen as the biggest, most lucrative time for sponsorship, and more advertising money will be paid out now than all the Super Bowl commercials or even when McDonalds had their liveries painted on two of our nations biggest war battleships. Whether it be the helmet or the codpiece, advertising space for this duel will certainly be very expensive."
Animal Rights campaigners are expected to step into the fray by angrily protesting at the shabby treatment the jousting horses get, with many receiving nasty poking injuries and consequently must be shot in the head to put them down to escape more misery and pain. So as to not infuriate all the politically correct people out there, motorbikes are being considered as an alternative to using easily damaged horses to bring a more modern twist to ye olde sport.
Should the combatants be knocked off their horses/motorbikes and wish to fight to the death, their armour will be removed, leaving them with just their pants and their weapons for some manly primal combat, though this will only happen in an extreme case.
It has yet to be decided whether the contest will be a battle to the death like tradition dictates, or just determining the winner through who’s accrued the most points in a series of jousts, and in this precise case, it is not known the full extent of what will happen to the loser in the outcome of the battle. It is believed that if Saddam wins, he gets to keep his fireworks for another year, with a rematch scheduled for the year after and beyond until Blair wins, but if Tony Blair does win, Saddam gets his little spark rockets taken away and is slapped on the wrist, with the promise of more war in another ten years from a pugnacious American President.
A large capacity stadium preferably in a neutral country, or a small neutral island, is being sought to host the duel, an important setting for what’s being dubbed as the most important joust in history. Most world leaders and plenty of important dignitaries and celebrities will be in attendance in what’s being seen as the biggest showbiz event in history, with the celebrities hoping to enjoy the media circus atmosphere with plenty of self-promotion in front of the cameras.
Betting shops are drawing up the odds as we speak, though a real clear-cut contender has yet to be established, but after the rigorous training regimes and practice duels, we’ll have an idea of who is the preferred choice, and this event is expected to be the most bet upon event in history.
It is hoped that if the joust is successful, it could usher in a whole new era of diplomatic problem solving, with war, political party leadership contests or any other kinds of contentious political issues being replaced with jousting politicians.
The joust will be shown live on Sky Sports 1, and a host of other satellite channels, but, like the Cricket World Cup, no terrestrial channels will have coverage of the event, with extended highlights of the duel on BBC1 in a very late night time slot.
It came as a massive surprise when, live on Iraqi television, Saddam threw down a metal gauntlet, fired his trusty rifle into the air and proposed a duel of horseback jousting to settle the current crisis once and for all.
The prospects of a Blair-Hussein jousting contest to resolve the Iraq crisis is seen as a huge gamble in some quarters, but the options and logistics of the challenge are being carefully planned and considered by various political groups and security agencies. It is not known at this precise time why Saddam would propose a traditional English style joust, but it is rumoured that he came from a long line of Middle Eastern jousting champions with moustaches, so has pedigree jousting blood flowing through his veins and is willing and able to follow on in his jousting family’s footsteps to save his country from Western aggression.
Prime Minister Blair is also huge fan of jousting, having been a successful jousting champion during his time at university, and it is believed that if this contest could end the current crisis, he’ll do it for the sake of humanity.
When interviewed, Blair said, “in many way I see myself as a brave, dashing and chivalrous knight, ready to battle against the dark knight of tyranny, so jousting would be a good manly way to settle any arguments.”
Top jousting coach Archibald Sinclair-Beauchamp has been brought in to hone Mr. Blair’s jousting skills, and top wrestler The Rock has been allowed to train him the finer arts of melee combat should the joust end up a battle to the death with handheld weapons, and even sticks.
Instead of wearing traditional heavy metal armour, the combatants will wear special lightweight yet highly protective armour. All the largest multinational corporations and businesses are clambering to sponsor various parts of the combatant’s suits to make a quick buck by having their names on the ultimate showpiece event seen by billions of television viewers around the globe. Dick Proud of the American Advertising Agency said, “This event is being seen as the biggest, most lucrative time for sponsorship, and more advertising money will be paid out now than all the Super Bowl commercials or even when McDonalds had their liveries painted on two of our nations biggest war battleships. Whether it be the helmet or the codpiece, advertising space for this duel will certainly be very expensive."
Animal Rights campaigners are expected to step into the fray by angrily protesting at the shabby treatment the jousting horses get, with many receiving nasty poking injuries and consequently must be shot in the head to put them down to escape more misery and pain. So as to not infuriate all the politically correct people out there, motorbikes are being considered as an alternative to using easily damaged horses to bring a more modern twist to ye olde sport.
Should the combatants be knocked off their horses/motorbikes and wish to fight to the death, their armour will be removed, leaving them with just their pants and their weapons for some manly primal combat, though this will only happen in an extreme case.
It has yet to be decided whether the contest will be a battle to the death like tradition dictates, or just determining the winner through who’s accrued the most points in a series of jousts, and in this precise case, it is not known the full extent of what will happen to the loser in the outcome of the battle. It is believed that if Saddam wins, he gets to keep his fireworks for another year, with a rematch scheduled for the year after and beyond until Blair wins, but if Tony Blair does win, Saddam gets his little spark rockets taken away and is slapped on the wrist, with the promise of more war in another ten years from a pugnacious American President.
A large capacity stadium preferably in a neutral country, or a small neutral island, is being sought to host the duel, an important setting for what’s being dubbed as the most important joust in history. Most world leaders and plenty of important dignitaries and celebrities will be in attendance in what’s being seen as the biggest showbiz event in history, with the celebrities hoping to enjoy the media circus atmosphere with plenty of self-promotion in front of the cameras.
Betting shops are drawing up the odds as we speak, though a real clear-cut contender has yet to be established, but after the rigorous training regimes and practice duels, we’ll have an idea of who is the preferred choice, and this event is expected to be the most bet upon event in history.
It is hoped that if the joust is successful, it could usher in a whole new era of diplomatic problem solving, with war, political party leadership contests or any other kinds of contentious political issues being replaced with jousting politicians.
The joust will be shown live on Sky Sports 1, and a host of other satellite channels, but, like the Cricket World Cup, no terrestrial channels will have coverage of the event, with extended highlights of the duel on BBC1 in a very late night time slot.
Heh, funny posts Totoro, a loght hearted view on the War.
Nice.
Nice.
*Sneaky little pop*
Lol.
They should do an arm wrestle and thumb war as well though.
They should do an arm wrestle and thumb war as well though.
With George W. Bush having turned down Saddam Hussein’s offer of a live TV sparring match due to the risk of the linguistically challenged redneck being completely out of his depth in a heated political debate, and the large possibility of Saddam making him look even more stupid (a tough thing to do, but it could be possible), Saddam has now decided to opt for his next choice in steering his nation away from war; he has challenged Tony Blair to an old fashion style joust.
It came as a massive surprise when, live on Iraqi television, Saddam threw down a metal gauntlet, fired his trusty rifle into the air and proposed a duel of horseback jousting to settle the current crisis once and for all.
The prospects of a Blair-Hussein jousting contest to resolve the Iraq crisis is seen as a huge gamble in some quarters, but the options and logistics of the challenge are being carefully planned and considered by various political groups and security agencies. It is not known at this precise time why Saddam would propose a traditional English style joust, but it is rumoured that he came from a long line of Middle Eastern jousting champions with moustaches, so has pedigree jousting blood flowing through his veins and is willing and able to follow on in his jousting family’s footsteps to save his country from Western aggression.
Prime Minister Blair is also huge fan of jousting, having been a successful jousting champion during his time at university, and it is believed that if this contest could end the current crisis, he’ll do it for the sake of humanity.
When interviewed, Blair said, “in many way I see myself as a brave, dashing and chivalrous knight, ready to battle against the dark knight of tyranny, so jousting would be a good manly way to settle any arguments.”
Top jousting coach Archibald Sinclair-Beauchamp has been brought in to hone Mr. Blair’s jousting skills, and top wrestler The Rock has been allowed to train him the finer arts of melee combat should the joust end up a battle to the death with handheld weapons, and even sticks.
Instead of wearing traditional heavy metal armour, the combatants will wear special lightweight yet highly protective armour. All the largest multinational corporations and businesses are clambering to sponsor various parts of the combatant’s suits to make a quick buck by having their names on the ultimate showpiece event seen by billions of television viewers around the globe. Dick Proud of the American Advertising Agency said, “This event is being seen as the biggest, most lucrative time for sponsorship, and more advertising money will be paid out now than all the Super Bowl commercials or even when McDonalds had their liveries painted on two of our nations biggest war battleships. Whether it be the helmet or the codpiece, advertising space for this duel will certainly be very expensive."
Animal Rights campaigners are expected to step into the fray by angrily protesting at the shabby treatment the jousting horses get, with many receiving nasty poking injuries and consequently must be shot in the head to put them down to escape more misery and pain. So as to not infuriate all the politically correct people out there, motorbikes are being considered as an alternative to using easily damaged horses to bring a more modern twist to ye olde sport.
Should the combatants be knocked off their horses/motorbikes and wish to fight to the death, their armour will be removed, leaving them with just their pants and their weapons for some manly primal combat, though this will only happen in an extreme case.
It has yet to be decided whether the contest will be a battle to the death like tradition dictates, or just determining the winner through who’s accrued the most points in a series of jousts, and in this precise case, it is not known the full extent of what will happen to the loser in the outcome of the battle. It is believed that if Saddam wins, he gets to keep his fireworks for another year, with a rematch scheduled for the year after and beyond until Blair wins, but if Tony Blair does win, Saddam gets his little spark rockets taken away and is slapped on the wrist, with the promise of more war in another ten years from a pugnacious American President.
A large capacity stadium preferably in a neutral country, or a small neutral island, is being sought to host the duel, an important setting for what’s being dubbed as the most important joust in history. Most world leaders and plenty of important dignitaries and celebrities will be in attendance in what’s being seen as the biggest showbiz event in history, with the celebrities hoping to enjoy the media circus atmosphere with plenty of self-promotion in front of the cameras.
Betting shops are drawing up the odds as we speak, though a real clear-cut contender has yet to be established, but after the rigorous training regimes and practice duels, we’ll have an idea of who is the preferred choice, and this event is expected to be the most bet upon event in history.
It is hoped that if the joust is successful, it could usher in a whole new era of diplomatic problem solving, with war, political party leadership contests or any other kinds of contentious political issues being replaced with jousting politicians.
The joust will be shown live on Sky Sports 1, and a host of other satellite channels, but, like the Cricket World Cup, no terrestrial channels will have coverage of the event, with extended highlights of the duel on BBC1 in a very late night time slot.
It came as a massive surprise when, live on Iraqi television, Saddam threw down a metal gauntlet, fired his trusty rifle into the air and proposed a duel of horseback jousting to settle the current crisis once and for all.
The prospects of a Blair-Hussein jousting contest to resolve the Iraq crisis is seen as a huge gamble in some quarters, but the options and logistics of the challenge are being carefully planned and considered by various political groups and security agencies. It is not known at this precise time why Saddam would propose a traditional English style joust, but it is rumoured that he came from a long line of Middle Eastern jousting champions with moustaches, so has pedigree jousting blood flowing through his veins and is willing and able to follow on in his jousting family’s footsteps to save his country from Western aggression.
Prime Minister Blair is also huge fan of jousting, having been a successful jousting champion during his time at university, and it is believed that if this contest could end the current crisis, he’ll do it for the sake of humanity.
When interviewed, Blair said, “in many way I see myself as a brave, dashing and chivalrous knight, ready to battle against the dark knight of tyranny, so jousting would be a good manly way to settle any arguments.”
Top jousting coach Archibald Sinclair-Beauchamp has been brought in to hone Mr. Blair’s jousting skills, and top wrestler The Rock has been allowed to train him the finer arts of melee combat should the joust end up a battle to the death with handheld weapons, and even sticks.
Instead of wearing traditional heavy metal armour, the combatants will wear special lightweight yet highly protective armour. All the largest multinational corporations and businesses are clambering to sponsor various parts of the combatant’s suits to make a quick buck by having their names on the ultimate showpiece event seen by billions of television viewers around the globe. Dick Proud of the American Advertising Agency said, “This event is being seen as the biggest, most lucrative time for sponsorship, and more advertising money will be paid out now than all the Super Bowl commercials or even when McDonalds had their liveries painted on two of our nations biggest war battleships. Whether it be the helmet or the codpiece, advertising space for this duel will certainly be very expensive."
Animal Rights campaigners are expected to step into the fray by angrily protesting at the shabby treatment the jousting horses get, with many receiving nasty poking injuries and consequently must be shot in the head to put them down to escape more misery and pain. So as to not infuriate all the politically correct people out there, motorbikes are being considered as an alternative to using easily damaged horses to bring a more modern twist to ye olde sport.
Should the combatants be knocked off their horses/motorbikes and wish to fight to the death, their armour will be removed, leaving them with just their pants and their weapons for some manly primal combat, though this will only happen in an extreme case.
It has yet to be decided whether the contest will be a battle to the death like tradition dictates, or just determining the winner through who’s accrued the most points in a series of jousts, and in this precise case, it is not known the full extent of what will happen to the loser in the outcome of the battle. It is believed that if Saddam wins, he gets to keep his fireworks for another year, with a rematch scheduled for the year after and beyond until Blair wins, but if Tony Blair does win, Saddam gets his little spark rockets taken away and is slapped on the wrist, with the promise of more war in another ten years from a pugnacious American President.
A large capacity stadium preferably in a neutral country, or a small neutral island, is being sought to host the duel, an important setting for what’s being dubbed as the most important joust in history. Most world leaders and plenty of important dignitaries and celebrities will be in attendance in what’s being seen as the biggest showbiz event in history, with the celebrities hoping to enjoy the media circus atmosphere with plenty of self-promotion in front of the cameras.
Betting shops are drawing up the odds as we speak, though a real clear-cut contender has yet to be established, but after the rigorous training regimes and practice duels, we’ll have an idea of who is the preferred choice, and this event is expected to be the most bet upon event in history.
It is hoped that if the joust is successful, it could usher in a whole new era of diplomatic problem solving, with war, political party leadership contests or any other kinds of contentious political issues being replaced with jousting politicians.
The joust will be shown live on Sky Sports 1, and a host of other satellite channels, but, like the Cricket World Cup, no terrestrial channels will have coverage of the event, with extended highlights of the duel on BBC1 in a very late night time slot.