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Watching LK Today and they were on about Marital success!....
An author has shocked America with claims that the secret to marital success is to treat your spouse like a stranger! Buy the book, plus get relationship tips on spicing up your love life
Esther Perel's book 'Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic + the Domestic' has shocked those across the pond with claims that undermine the basis of family life.
Belgian-born Perel is a family and marriage therapist in New York and asserts that domesticity kills the sexual urge.
Perel's explanation is that "in our long-term relationships we want to feel security and stability and familiarity, but eroticism thrives on novelty, mystery and risk". For this reason even the most passionate of couples are finding themselves in relationships similar to platonic friendships.
"I have seen this many times in my 22 years as a couples therapist. Half the couples split, the other half cheat. People want to feel special, they want to feel alive," Perel explains.
So what is the secret to marital success?
According to Perel, "desire thrives on space" and both the woman and the man need to experience a sense of freedom.
"See your partner in places where they are not known to you - that brings back the mystery. It is not always lack of closeness that stifles desire, but too much closeness."
Have a best friend and pursue your interests, not just the things your partner wants to do, are all her key points. If your partner doesn't necessarily want to be your best friend who you talk to always and complain to, the mystery has gone.
An author has shocked America with claims that the secret to marital success is to treat your spouse like a stranger! Buy the book, plus get relationship tips on spicing up your love life
Esther Perel's book 'Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic + the Domestic' has shocked those across the pond with claims that undermine the basis of family life.
Belgian-born Perel is a family and marriage therapist in New York and asserts that domesticity kills the sexual urge.
Perel's explanation is that "in our long-term relationships we want to feel security and stability and familiarity, but eroticism thrives on novelty, mystery and risk". For this reason even the most passionate of couples are finding themselves in relationships similar to platonic friendships.
"I have seen this many times in my 22 years as a couples therapist. Half the couples split, the other half cheat. People want to feel special, they want to feel alive," Perel explains.
So what is the secret to marital success?
According to Perel, "desire thrives on space" and both the woman and the man need to experience a sense of freedom.
"See your partner in places where they are not known to you - that brings back the mystery. It is not always lack of closeness that stifles desire, but too much closeness."
Have a best friend and pursue your interests, not just the things your partner wants to do, are all her key points. If your partner doesn't necessarily want to be your best friend who you talk to always and complain to, the mystery has gone.
Watching LK Today and they were on about Marital success!....
An author has shocked America with claims that the secret to marital success is to treat your spouse like a stranger! Buy the book, plus get relationship tips on spicing up your love life
Esther Perel's book 'Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic + the Domestic' has shocked those across the pond with claims that undermine the basis of family life.
Belgian-born Perel is a family and marriage therapist in New York and asserts that domesticity kills the sexual urge.
Perel's explanation is that "in our long-term relationships we want to feel security and stability and familiarity, but eroticism thrives on novelty, mystery and risk". For this reason even the most passionate of couples are finding themselves in relationships similar to platonic friendships.
"I have seen this many times in my 22 years as a couples therapist. Half the couples split, the other half cheat. People want to feel special, they want to feel alive," Perel explains.
So what is the secret to marital success?
According to Perel, "desire thrives on space" and both the woman and the man need to experience a sense of freedom.
"See your partner in places where they are not known to you - that brings back the mystery. It is not always lack of closeness that stifles desire, but too much closeness."
Have a best friend and pursue your interests, not just the things your partner wants to do, are all her key points. If your partner doesn't necessarily want to be your best friend who you talk to always and complain to, the mystery has gone.
An author has shocked America with claims that the secret to marital success is to treat your spouse like a stranger! Buy the book, plus get relationship tips on spicing up your love life
Esther Perel's book 'Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic + the Domestic' has shocked those across the pond with claims that undermine the basis of family life.
Belgian-born Perel is a family and marriage therapist in New York and asserts that domesticity kills the sexual urge.
Perel's explanation is that "in our long-term relationships we want to feel security and stability and familiarity, but eroticism thrives on novelty, mystery and risk". For this reason even the most passionate of couples are finding themselves in relationships similar to platonic friendships.
"I have seen this many times in my 22 years as a couples therapist. Half the couples split, the other half cheat. People want to feel special, they want to feel alive," Perel explains.
So what is the secret to marital success?
According to Perel, "desire thrives on space" and both the woman and the man need to experience a sense of freedom.
"See your partner in places where they are not known to you - that brings back the mystery. It is not always lack of closeness that stifles desire, but too much closeness."
Have a best friend and pursue your interests, not just the things your partner wants to do, are all her key points. If your partner doesn't necessarily want to be your best friend who you talk to always and complain to, the mystery has gone.
It sounds like what they are saying is that Marital Success is the same as success in the bedroom.
Surely, this is a part of a relationship and not ALL of the relationship?
I still think most therapists are not worth the wage they're paid.
Surely, this is a part of a relationship and not ALL of the relationship?
I still think most therapists are not worth the wage they're paid.
Seraphim wrote:
> Belgian-born Perel is a family and marriage therapist in New
> York and asserts that domesticity kills the sexual urge.
I beg to differ..
Ain't nothin' that turns me on more than a man scrubbing the loo
Ooh baby! :D
> Belgian-born Perel is a family and marriage therapist in New
> York and asserts that domesticity kills the sexual urge.
I beg to differ..
Ain't nothin' that turns me on more than a man scrubbing the loo
Ooh baby! :D
pb wrote:
> It sounds like what they are saying is that Marital Success is
> the same as success in the bedroom.
>
> Surely, this is a part of a relationship and not ALL of the
> relationship?
>
> I still think most therapists are not worth the wage they're
> paid.
I do agree, but if one thing is going to kill off a relationship, it's one partner cheating. And losing your love-life has to be hard to stomach too. Is it fair to say the sexual attraction is what distinguishes your relationship from 'very close friendship'?
If, for a woman, a big part of attraction is validation, then within the mutuality of a long-term relationship perhaps it is doomed to fade.
I don't believe humans are naturally monogamous or completely polygamous. We often have conflicting interests and this is just one of those times.
But while there is a grey area for ourselves, we demand, at an instinctive as well as rational level, complete faithful commitment from our partner.
What hard work.
> It sounds like what they are saying is that Marital Success is
> the same as success in the bedroom.
>
> Surely, this is a part of a relationship and not ALL of the
> relationship?
>
> I still think most therapists are not worth the wage they're
> paid.
I do agree, but if one thing is going to kill off a relationship, it's one partner cheating. And losing your love-life has to be hard to stomach too. Is it fair to say the sexual attraction is what distinguishes your relationship from 'very close friendship'?
If, for a woman, a big part of attraction is validation, then within the mutuality of a long-term relationship perhaps it is doomed to fade.
I don't believe humans are naturally monogamous or completely polygamous. We often have conflicting interests and this is just one of those times.
But while there is a grey area for ourselves, we demand, at an instinctive as well as rational level, complete faithful commitment from our partner.
What hard work.
My tip for marital success is to avoid arguments. In my experience, most arguments are caused by house-work, one partner feeling as though they are doing more than the other person.
If you can come up with a house-work rota that you're both happy with, then the arguments will laregly disappear...
I'm not saying we never argue...but it's rare these days.
If you can come up with a house-work rota that you're both happy with, then the arguments will laregly disappear...
I'm not saying we never argue...but it's rare these days.
The approach where "the woman is always right," is the basic undertone that resonates with many elderly couples, when they're interviewed on how they've made it work for over 50 to 60 years. Just give up already guys and grasp onto this concept to some degree. The sooner you do, they happier your life will be. :P hehe
My belief is a simple concept really. Perel touches on it somewhat with her statement that "desire thrives on space."
I believe in the trifecta of you, me and us. Striking the balance is the challenge.
My belief is a simple concept really. Perel touches on it somewhat with her statement that "desire thrives on space."
I believe in the trifecta of you, me and us. Striking the balance is the challenge.
Ladybird wrote:
> My belief is a simple concept really. Perel touches on it
> somewhat with her statement that "desire thrives on
> space."
Aye, kinda like another way of saying 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder'.
> My belief is a simple concept really. Perel touches on it
> somewhat with her statement that "desire thrives on
> space."
Aye, kinda like another way of saying 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder'.