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The world is dark and for the last few of us down here there seems like little hope.
I am Dew. I once lived a normal life like most, a decent job, wife and a chance like everyone else to make something of my life. Of course all of that means very little at this present moment in time.
But before that makes sense I must go back a bit to explain what happened. My real name is Dave Witthers, a former royal marine commando, after being injured in battle I returned to educate myself and became a teacher. I lived happily with my wife until one night a few weeks ago. Six gentlemen appeared at my door and when inside took my wife as their hostage, upon my return they forced me into once again returning to the horrible world that plauged my past.
The six men were part of an organisation that at the start of my military career where captured, prosecuted and sent to prison for a very long time. It would seem that some loophole in the law has seen their freedom and now they have decided to repay all those who helped with their capture.
I was second in command of the unit that captured them, to repay that fact I watched as they took my wife by the hair and dragged her across the floor and slit her throat directly in my face. They say the pain of a loved one dying is a hard one, you try the pain of watching them die and being powerless to stop it. Of course I will avenge her death.
After this they forced my prints on the knife and trashed the house, soon after I was taken to building in which I am held in at this moment.
Myself and three more of the men from the old unit are confined to this small dirty space, the others have been taken one by one and we can only presume that they are already dead.
A plan would be good but after watching someone butcher your wife like she was some small animal makes thinking a hard thing to do.
We decide that next time they come to take one of us we should rush them and just generally hope for the best.
As the door opens and the first figure enters we all make a move for it, the two armed guards seem too surprised to react quick enough and the sound of their necks being broken is like music to my ears..
My revenge has begun.
The terrorist leader is the one they call "Claw" he has been responsible for many deaths and certain incidents which have destroyed peace in many areas of the world.
He is the one responsible for me being here and the one who cost my wife her life.
As we make our escape we are confronted with more guards, gunfire results and a number of them are killed, as well as my old friend Martin. I try to take him with us but we all feel weak and have no idea what to expect as we attempt to escape. This results in Martin being left, my heart tells me he deserves a true burial but my head says the only way I'll get out is to leave him.
Up the hall there is noise from a room, sounds like a speach.
As we approach the voice seems to farmiliar and the speach is to motivate all those with the wrong idea of the world and peace. Those who believe in mercy killings getting a message of power across. Cheers are heard before shouts from down the corridor. Again more bullets being fired and many more terrorists joining in from the large room where the speach was comming from. We make a run through an adjacent room, the window is open and we all struggle through, I'm last to go through and as I make a jump down from the ledge I feel something rip through my leg. I've been shot, warm blood pumps out onto my hands as I lie in the snow, the rest run for it. As I attempt to stand another bullet flies into my back. The blood feels so warm and as I fall once again I know my time has come, I will finally see my wife.
But wait, how can I avenge her death if I am myself dead. No sense can be made from that fact.
This is my story so it goes my way.
Lets go back a bit.
I try to take him with us but we all feel weak and have no idea what to expect as we attempt to escape. This results in Martin being left, my heart tells me he deserves a true burial but my head says the only way I'll get out is to leave him.
But I can't leave him, I would hate if they left me so I take him with us. We hear the motivation speach of claw comming from a room up the hall. Our first aim is to get out, a room with an open window gives us the perfect oportunity and soon we are all out in the snow and for now away from the harm of Claw and his soldiers.
At first sight of a building we break in and ensure the occupants that no harm will come to them if they do as we say.
Within an hour former marine commandos from my so called glory days are here and a plan of attack has been drawn up.
A few hours later it is over, I am on a plane home with Martins body and the hope that my wife would be proud, then I realise Claw and his men weren't responsible for her death, I was. My actions in my past had her killed. No man could live with this and neither could I.
Bang.
I am Dew. I once lived a normal life like most, a decent job, wife and a chance like everyone else to make something of my life. Of course all of that means very little at this present moment in time.
But before that makes sense I must go back a bit to explain what happened. My real name is Dave Witthers, a former royal marine commando, after being injured in battle I returned to educate myself and became a teacher. I lived happily with my wife until one night a few weeks ago. Six gentlemen appeared at my door and when inside took my wife as their hostage, upon my return they forced me into once again returning to the horrible world that plauged my past.
The six men were part of an organisation that at the start of my military career where captured, prosecuted and sent to prison for a very long time. It would seem that some loophole in the law has seen their freedom and now they have decided to repay all those who helped with their capture.
I was second in command of the unit that captured them, to repay that fact I watched as they took my wife by the hair and dragged her across the floor and slit her throat directly in my face. They say the pain of a loved one dying is a hard one, you try the pain of watching them die and being powerless to stop it. Of course I will avenge her death.
After this they forced my prints on the knife and trashed the house, soon after I was taken to building in which I am held in at this moment.
Myself and three more of the men from the old unit are confined to this small dirty space, the others have been taken one by one and we can only presume that they are already dead.
A plan would be good but after watching someone butcher your wife like she was some small animal makes thinking a hard thing to do.
We decide that next time they come to take one of us we should rush them and just generally hope for the best.
As the door opens and the first figure enters we all make a move for it, the two armed guards seem too surprised to react quick enough and the sound of their necks being broken is like music to my ears..
My revenge has begun.
The terrorist leader is the one they call "Claw" he has been responsible for many deaths and certain incidents which have destroyed peace in many areas of the world.
He is the one responsible for me being here and the one who cost my wife her life.
As we make our escape we are confronted with more guards, gunfire results and a number of them are killed, as well as my old friend Martin. I try to take him with us but we all feel weak and have no idea what to expect as we attempt to escape. This results in Martin being left, my heart tells me he deserves a true burial but my head says the only way I'll get out is to leave him.
Up the hall there is noise from a room, sounds like a speach.
As we approach the voice seems to farmiliar and the speach is to motivate all those with the wrong idea of the world and peace. Those who believe in mercy killings getting a message of power across. Cheers are heard before shouts from down the corridor. Again more bullets being fired and many more terrorists joining in from the large room where the speach was comming from. We make a run through an adjacent room, the window is open and we all struggle through, I'm last to go through and as I make a jump down from the ledge I feel something rip through my leg. I've been shot, warm blood pumps out onto my hands as I lie in the snow, the rest run for it. As I attempt to stand another bullet flies into my back. The blood feels so warm and as I fall once again I know my time has come, I will finally see my wife.
But wait, how can I avenge her death if I am myself dead. No sense can be made from that fact.
This is my story so it goes my way.
Lets go back a bit.
I try to take him with us but we all feel weak and have no idea what to expect as we attempt to escape. This results in Martin being left, my heart tells me he deserves a true burial but my head says the only way I'll get out is to leave him.
But I can't leave him, I would hate if they left me so I take him with us. We hear the motivation speach of claw comming from a room up the hall. Our first aim is to get out, a room with an open window gives us the perfect oportunity and soon we are all out in the snow and for now away from the harm of Claw and his soldiers.
At first sight of a building we break in and ensure the occupants that no harm will come to them if they do as we say.
Within an hour former marine commandos from my so called glory days are here and a plan of attack has been drawn up.
A few hours later it is over, I am on a plane home with Martins body and the hope that my wife would be proud, then I realise Claw and his men weren't responsible for her death, I was. My actions in my past had her killed. No man could live with this and neither could I.
Bang.
Meka Dragon wrote:
> I liked that, especially the way it ended, then jumped back, and came
> to a different conclusion.
>
> The only thing I felt could have improved it would be more description
> of surroundings and people, but then again, that would have really
> slowed down the pace of the story, and the pace was one of the
> striking points about it.
Thanks, its been ages since I wrote a story like this.
Just thought of it on the train and wrote it down. Made sure I finished it instead of scraping it like I usually do
> I liked that, especially the way it ended, then jumped back, and came
> to a different conclusion.
>
> The only thing I felt could have improved it would be more description
> of surroundings and people, but then again, that would have really
> slowed down the pace of the story, and the pace was one of the
> striking points about it.
Thanks, its been ages since I wrote a story like this.
Just thought of it on the train and wrote it down. Made sure I finished it instead of scraping it like I usually do
Congratz on the GAD
I liked that, especially the way it ended, then jumped back, and came to a different conclusion.
The only thing I felt could have improved it would be more description of surroundings and people, but then again, that would have really slowed down the pace of the story, and the pace was one of the striking points about it.
The only thing I felt could have improved it would be more description of surroundings and people, but then again, that would have really slowed down the pace of the story, and the pace was one of the striking points about it.
This is great, I especially like the ending. Would you read mine, "The Cell" ? Cheers and well done.
Anyone read it?
What you think?
What you think?
The world is dark and for the last few of us down here there seems like little hope.
I am Dew. I once lived a normal life like most, a decent job, wife and a chance like everyone else to make something of my life. Of course all of that means very little at this present moment in time.
But before that makes sense I must go back a bit to explain what happened. My real name is Dave Witthers, a former royal marine commando, after being injured in battle I returned to educate myself and became a teacher. I lived happily with my wife until one night a few weeks ago. Six gentlemen appeared at my door and when inside took my wife as their hostage, upon my return they forced me into once again returning to the horrible world that plauged my past.
The six men were part of an organisation that at the start of my military career where captured, prosecuted and sent to prison for a very long time. It would seem that some loophole in the law has seen their freedom and now they have decided to repay all those who helped with their capture.
I was second in command of the unit that captured them, to repay that fact I watched as they took my wife by the hair and dragged her across the floor and slit her throat directly in my face. They say the pain of a loved one dying is a hard one, you try the pain of watching them die and being powerless to stop it. Of course I will avenge her death.
After this they forced my prints on the knife and trashed the house, soon after I was taken to building in which I am held in at this moment.
Myself and three more of the men from the old unit are confined to this small dirty space, the others have been taken one by one and we can only presume that they are already dead.
A plan would be good but after watching someone butcher your wife like she was some small animal makes thinking a hard thing to do.
We decide that next time they come to take one of us we should rush them and just generally hope for the best.
As the door opens and the first figure enters we all make a move for it, the two armed guards seem too surprised to react quick enough and the sound of their necks being broken is like music to my ears..
My revenge has begun.
The terrorist leader is the one they call "Claw" he has been responsible for many deaths and certain incidents which have destroyed peace in many areas of the world.
He is the one responsible for me being here and the one who cost my wife her life.
As we make our escape we are confronted with more guards, gunfire results and a number of them are killed, as well as my old friend Martin. I try to take him with us but we all feel weak and have no idea what to expect as we attempt to escape. This results in Martin being left, my heart tells me he deserves a true burial but my head says the only way I'll get out is to leave him.
Up the hall there is noise from a room, sounds like a speach.
As we approach the voice seems to farmiliar and the speach is to motivate all those with the wrong idea of the world and peace. Those who believe in mercy killings getting a message of power across. Cheers are heard before shouts from down the corridor. Again more bullets being fired and many more terrorists joining in from the large room where the speach was comming from. We make a run through an adjacent room, the window is open and we all struggle through, I'm last to go through and as I make a jump down from the ledge I feel something rip through my leg. I've been shot, warm blood pumps out onto my hands as I lie in the snow, the rest run for it. As I attempt to stand another bullet flies into my back. The blood feels so warm and as I fall once again I know my time has come, I will finally see my wife.
But wait, how can I avenge her death if I am myself dead. No sense can be made from that fact.
This is my story so it goes my way.
Lets go back a bit.
I try to take him with us but we all feel weak and have no idea what to expect as we attempt to escape. This results in Martin being left, my heart tells me he deserves a true burial but my head says the only way I'll get out is to leave him.
But I can't leave him, I would hate if they left me so I take him with us. We hear the motivation speach of claw comming from a room up the hall. Our first aim is to get out, a room with an open window gives us the perfect oportunity and soon we are all out in the snow and for now away from the harm of Claw and his soldiers.
At first sight of a building we break in and ensure the occupants that no harm will come to them if they do as we say.
Within an hour former marine commandos from my so called glory days are here and a plan of attack has been drawn up.
A few hours later it is over, I am on a plane home with Martins body and the hope that my wife would be proud, then I realise Claw and his men weren't responsible for her death, I was. My actions in my past had her killed. No man could live with this and neither could I.
Bang.
I am Dew. I once lived a normal life like most, a decent job, wife and a chance like everyone else to make something of my life. Of course all of that means very little at this present moment in time.
But before that makes sense I must go back a bit to explain what happened. My real name is Dave Witthers, a former royal marine commando, after being injured in battle I returned to educate myself and became a teacher. I lived happily with my wife until one night a few weeks ago. Six gentlemen appeared at my door and when inside took my wife as their hostage, upon my return they forced me into once again returning to the horrible world that plauged my past.
The six men were part of an organisation that at the start of my military career where captured, prosecuted and sent to prison for a very long time. It would seem that some loophole in the law has seen their freedom and now they have decided to repay all those who helped with their capture.
I was second in command of the unit that captured them, to repay that fact I watched as they took my wife by the hair and dragged her across the floor and slit her throat directly in my face. They say the pain of a loved one dying is a hard one, you try the pain of watching them die and being powerless to stop it. Of course I will avenge her death.
After this they forced my prints on the knife and trashed the house, soon after I was taken to building in which I am held in at this moment.
Myself and three more of the men from the old unit are confined to this small dirty space, the others have been taken one by one and we can only presume that they are already dead.
A plan would be good but after watching someone butcher your wife like she was some small animal makes thinking a hard thing to do.
We decide that next time they come to take one of us we should rush them and just generally hope for the best.
As the door opens and the first figure enters we all make a move for it, the two armed guards seem too surprised to react quick enough and the sound of their necks being broken is like music to my ears..
My revenge has begun.
The terrorist leader is the one they call "Claw" he has been responsible for many deaths and certain incidents which have destroyed peace in many areas of the world.
He is the one responsible for me being here and the one who cost my wife her life.
As we make our escape we are confronted with more guards, gunfire results and a number of them are killed, as well as my old friend Martin. I try to take him with us but we all feel weak and have no idea what to expect as we attempt to escape. This results in Martin being left, my heart tells me he deserves a true burial but my head says the only way I'll get out is to leave him.
Up the hall there is noise from a room, sounds like a speach.
As we approach the voice seems to farmiliar and the speach is to motivate all those with the wrong idea of the world and peace. Those who believe in mercy killings getting a message of power across. Cheers are heard before shouts from down the corridor. Again more bullets being fired and many more terrorists joining in from the large room where the speach was comming from. We make a run through an adjacent room, the window is open and we all struggle through, I'm last to go through and as I make a jump down from the ledge I feel something rip through my leg. I've been shot, warm blood pumps out onto my hands as I lie in the snow, the rest run for it. As I attempt to stand another bullet flies into my back. The blood feels so warm and as I fall once again I know my time has come, I will finally see my wife.
But wait, how can I avenge her death if I am myself dead. No sense can be made from that fact.
This is my story so it goes my way.
Lets go back a bit.
I try to take him with us but we all feel weak and have no idea what to expect as we attempt to escape. This results in Martin being left, my heart tells me he deserves a true burial but my head says the only way I'll get out is to leave him.
But I can't leave him, I would hate if they left me so I take him with us. We hear the motivation speach of claw comming from a room up the hall. Our first aim is to get out, a room with an open window gives us the perfect oportunity and soon we are all out in the snow and for now away from the harm of Claw and his soldiers.
At first sight of a building we break in and ensure the occupants that no harm will come to them if they do as we say.
Within an hour former marine commandos from my so called glory days are here and a plan of attack has been drawn up.
A few hours later it is over, I am on a plane home with Martins body and the hope that my wife would be proud, then I realise Claw and his men weren't responsible for her death, I was. My actions in my past had her killed. No man could live with this and neither could I.
Bang.