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Global warming has passed its zenith, and your world has a considerably reduced landmass. As a direct result, two warring factions are left to fight over what small pieces of ground remain.
Plucked from your obscure existence at the back of a bar, you are shoved into a huge mechanised battle machine in an attempt to swing the war towards victory one final time. Despite the colossal impact of the alcohol raging through your bloodstream, you feel up to the challenge, and with all the Dutch courage you can muster you eagerly grab the controls and start out, taking the hangar doors with you at first, but this is just a minor hiccup.
You carefully manoevre the giant Battle Engine around the compound, being careful not to stomp on too many of your own troops, and are amazed at the amount of onscreen action occurring right before your very eyes. Enemy forces are approaching in their thousands, both by land, sea and air; to provide any hope for your home, you have to fight, and fight well, to drive them back.
Fumbling for the 'Fire' button, you manage to launch the Battle Engine into flight mode. From your newly occupied piece of atmosphere 300ft above the ground, you have a better view of what's going on. All those blurry lights and swinging dials on your HUD are trying to tell you something, but you don't need them to realise that there's lots of baddies, and they're still advancing. Another swig on the bottle beside you and it all becomes much clearer.
Forward makes you go forward.
Backward makes you go backward.
Fire makes you oops didn't mean to do that sorry about that guys I'll buy you some new armor if we get through this.
Ooh, what happens if I press this button? WAHEY!!! The onboard jukebox starts pumping out "Baby's Got An Atom Bomb" by Fluke, making everything so much easier as you start to turn the Battle Engine into a nosedive towards the enemy. You're rocking now, in more ways than one. You're rocking because the Battle Engine is receiving multiple incoming hits from those guys over there who've got a lock-on, you're rocking because the control pad is trying to warn you that your nosedive has turned into a plummet with only a slight semblance of coordination, and the tequila in your bloodstream is making you rock back and forth in your pilot's seat, but in a good way.
Pulling up on the analogue stick at the last minute results in the Battle Engine squishing a long tract of enemy forces along the ground for about 500ft before the vehicle hits a small hillock and shoots back up into the air again. You've now discovered that tilting the bottle back makes you go up, and putting the bottle down again makes you go down. It's a revelation, and you now feel in total control despite just having wiped out your wingmen during your most recent exploratory ascent.
After a couple of lop-sided figure of eights you've managed to turn the giant mech around, fired off a few shots at the enemy from behind, and start mopping up the remnants of all those badguys that were trying to take your home away from you.
Emboldened by your escapade, but mainly because you're running low on tequila, you head back to the hangar at your base, managing to 'park' your monstrously sized vehicle in a corner between two larger buildings. (There used to be three buildings, but reversing isn't your strong point at this time).
You feel empowered, the future of the world is in your hands, so which will it be? Debriefing or the cantina?
Battle Engine Tequila - In all good stores from 28th February.
Bring a bottle.
Plucked from your obscure existence at the back of a bar, you are shoved into a huge mechanised battle machine in an attempt to swing the war towards victory one final time. Despite the colossal impact of the alcohol raging through your bloodstream, you feel up to the challenge, and with all the Dutch courage you can muster you eagerly grab the controls and start out, taking the hangar doors with you at first, but this is just a minor hiccup.
You carefully manoevre the giant Battle Engine around the compound, being careful not to stomp on too many of your own troops, and are amazed at the amount of onscreen action occurring right before your very eyes. Enemy forces are approaching in their thousands, both by land, sea and air; to provide any hope for your home, you have to fight, and fight well, to drive them back.
Fumbling for the 'Fire' button, you manage to launch the Battle Engine into flight mode. From your newly occupied piece of atmosphere 300ft above the ground, you have a better view of what's going on. All those blurry lights and swinging dials on your HUD are trying to tell you something, but you don't need them to realise that there's lots of baddies, and they're still advancing. Another swig on the bottle beside you and it all becomes much clearer.
Forward makes you go forward.
Backward makes you go backward.
Fire makes you oops didn't mean to do that sorry about that guys I'll buy you some new armor if we get through this.
Ooh, what happens if I press this button? WAHEY!!! The onboard jukebox starts pumping out "Baby's Got An Atom Bomb" by Fluke, making everything so much easier as you start to turn the Battle Engine into a nosedive towards the enemy. You're rocking now, in more ways than one. You're rocking because the Battle Engine is receiving multiple incoming hits from those guys over there who've got a lock-on, you're rocking because the control pad is trying to warn you that your nosedive has turned into a plummet with only a slight semblance of coordination, and the tequila in your bloodstream is making you rock back and forth in your pilot's seat, but in a good way.
Pulling up on the analogue stick at the last minute results in the Battle Engine squishing a long tract of enemy forces along the ground for about 500ft before the vehicle hits a small hillock and shoots back up into the air again. You've now discovered that tilting the bottle back makes you go up, and putting the bottle down again makes you go down. It's a revelation, and you now feel in total control despite just having wiped out your wingmen during your most recent exploratory ascent.
After a couple of lop-sided figure of eights you've managed to turn the giant mech around, fired off a few shots at the enemy from behind, and start mopping up the remnants of all those badguys that were trying to take your home away from you.
Emboldened by your escapade, but mainly because you're running low on tequila, you head back to the hangar at your base, managing to 'park' your monstrously sized vehicle in a corner between two larger buildings. (There used to be three buildings, but reversing isn't your strong point at this time).
You feel empowered, the future of the world is in your hands, so which will it be? Debriefing or the cantina?
Battle Engine Tequila - In all good stores from 28th February.
Bring a bottle.
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Global warming has passed its zenith, and your world has a considerably reduced landmass. As a direct result, two warring factions are left to fight over what small pieces of ground remain.
Plucked from your obscure existence at the back of a bar, you are shoved into a huge mechanised battle machine in an attempt to swing the war towards victory one final time. Despite the colossal impact of the alcohol raging through your bloodstream, you feel up to the challenge, and with all the Dutch courage you can muster you eagerly grab the controls and start out, taking the hangar doors with you at first, but this is just a minor hiccup.
You carefully manoevre the giant Battle Engine around the compound, being careful not to stomp on too many of your own troops, and are amazed at the amount of onscreen action occurring right before your very eyes. Enemy forces are approaching in their thousands, both by land, sea and air; to provide any hope for your home, you have to fight, and fight well, to drive them back.
Fumbling for the 'Fire' button, you manage to launch the Battle Engine into flight mode. From your newly occupied piece of atmosphere 300ft above the ground, you have a better view of what's going on. All those blurry lights and swinging dials on your HUD are trying to tell you something, but you don't need them to realise that there's lots of baddies, and they're still advancing. Another swig on the bottle beside you and it all becomes much clearer.
Forward makes you go forward.
Backward makes you go backward.
Fire makes you oops didn't mean to do that sorry about that guys I'll buy you some new armor if we get through this.
Ooh, what happens if I press this button? WAHEY!!! The onboard jukebox starts pumping out "Baby's Got An Atom Bomb" by Fluke, making everything so much easier as you start to turn the Battle Engine into a nosedive towards the enemy. You're rocking now, in more ways than one. You're rocking because the Battle Engine is receiving multiple incoming hits from those guys over there who've got a lock-on, you're rocking because the control pad is trying to warn you that your nosedive has turned into a plummet with only a slight semblance of coordination, and the tequila in your bloodstream is making you rock back and forth in your pilot's seat, but in a good way.
Pulling up on the analogue stick at the last minute results in the Battle Engine squishing a long tract of enemy forces along the ground for about 500ft before the vehicle hits a small hillock and shoots back up into the air again. You've now discovered that tilting the bottle back makes you go up, and putting the bottle down again makes you go down. It's a revelation, and you now feel in total control despite just having wiped out your wingmen during your most recent exploratory ascent.
After a couple of lop-sided figure of eights you've managed to turn the giant mech around, fired off a few shots at the enemy from behind, and start mopping up the remnants of all those badguys that were trying to take your home away from you.
Emboldened by your escapade, but mainly because you're running low on tequila, you head back to the hangar at your base, managing to 'park' your monstrously sized vehicle in a corner between two larger buildings. (There used to be three buildings, but reversing isn't your strong point at this time).
You feel empowered, the future of the world is in your hands, so which will it be? Debriefing or the cantina?
Battle Engine Tequila - In all good stores from 28th February.
Bring a bottle.
Plucked from your obscure existence at the back of a bar, you are shoved into a huge mechanised battle machine in an attempt to swing the war towards victory one final time. Despite the colossal impact of the alcohol raging through your bloodstream, you feel up to the challenge, and with all the Dutch courage you can muster you eagerly grab the controls and start out, taking the hangar doors with you at first, but this is just a minor hiccup.
You carefully manoevre the giant Battle Engine around the compound, being careful not to stomp on too many of your own troops, and are amazed at the amount of onscreen action occurring right before your very eyes. Enemy forces are approaching in their thousands, both by land, sea and air; to provide any hope for your home, you have to fight, and fight well, to drive them back.
Fumbling for the 'Fire' button, you manage to launch the Battle Engine into flight mode. From your newly occupied piece of atmosphere 300ft above the ground, you have a better view of what's going on. All those blurry lights and swinging dials on your HUD are trying to tell you something, but you don't need them to realise that there's lots of baddies, and they're still advancing. Another swig on the bottle beside you and it all becomes much clearer.
Forward makes you go forward.
Backward makes you go backward.
Fire makes you oops didn't mean to do that sorry about that guys I'll buy you some new armor if we get through this.
Ooh, what happens if I press this button? WAHEY!!! The onboard jukebox starts pumping out "Baby's Got An Atom Bomb" by Fluke, making everything so much easier as you start to turn the Battle Engine into a nosedive towards the enemy. You're rocking now, in more ways than one. You're rocking because the Battle Engine is receiving multiple incoming hits from those guys over there who've got a lock-on, you're rocking because the control pad is trying to warn you that your nosedive has turned into a plummet with only a slight semblance of coordination, and the tequila in your bloodstream is making you rock back and forth in your pilot's seat, but in a good way.
Pulling up on the analogue stick at the last minute results in the Battle Engine squishing a long tract of enemy forces along the ground for about 500ft before the vehicle hits a small hillock and shoots back up into the air again. You've now discovered that tilting the bottle back makes you go up, and putting the bottle down again makes you go down. It's a revelation, and you now feel in total control despite just having wiped out your wingmen during your most recent exploratory ascent.
After a couple of lop-sided figure of eights you've managed to turn the giant mech around, fired off a few shots at the enemy from behind, and start mopping up the remnants of all those badguys that were trying to take your home away from you.
Emboldened by your escapade, but mainly because you're running low on tequila, you head back to the hangar at your base, managing to 'park' your monstrously sized vehicle in a corner between two larger buildings. (There used to be three buildings, but reversing isn't your strong point at this time).
You feel empowered, the future of the world is in your hands, so which will it be? Debriefing or the cantina?
Battle Engine Tequila - In all good stores from 28th February.
Bring a bottle.