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I went to see the fishman,
Who ran the local store.
I said "I want a swordfish",
He said, "back again, want more?"
"Of course, you silly man"
I said, a frown upon my face.
"You know I love those swordfish"
That put him in his place.
"What happened to the last one?"
He questioned me right there
"You said that you'd look after it,
with Tender Loving Care"
"I did!", I said deceivingly,
"I loved it like a son,
But it was a naughty swordfish,
So justice was done"
"No matter how I begged it,
or punished it with rue,
That swordfish behaved badly,
Why, I have no clue"
"So, in the end, I had no choice,
That swordfish had to go.
I watched him swim away offshore,
Crying rivers of sorrow"
"You poor thing" the fishman said,
"This one's here's on me"
He handed me a new swordfish
My face lit up with glee.
I felt the slightest twinge of guilt
As I wandered to the car.
I'd been telling porkie pies to him
Avoiding truth thus far.
For the truth was rather different,
I'd been lieing through my teeth.
I hadn't set the swordfish free,
I'd roasted him like beef.
But the story doesn't end there;
Oh, no, not by half.
It wasn't me that won the day,
The fish had the last laugh
For although I loved that swordfish.
With his coy little smile.
I'd undercooked him badly,
Now my vomit tastes of bile.
Who ran the local store.
I said "I want a swordfish",
He said, "back again, want more?"
"Of course, you silly man"
I said, a frown upon my face.
"You know I love those swordfish"
That put him in his place.
"What happened to the last one?"
He questioned me right there
"You said that you'd look after it,
with Tender Loving Care"
"I did!", I said deceivingly,
"I loved it like a son,
But it was a naughty swordfish,
So justice was done"
"No matter how I begged it,
or punished it with rue,
That swordfish behaved badly,
Why, I have no clue"
"So, in the end, I had no choice,
That swordfish had to go.
I watched him swim away offshore,
Crying rivers of sorrow"
"You poor thing" the fishman said,
"This one's here's on me"
He handed me a new swordfish
My face lit up with glee.
I felt the slightest twinge of guilt
As I wandered to the car.
I'd been telling porkie pies to him
Avoiding truth thus far.
For the truth was rather different,
I'd been lieing through my teeth.
I hadn't set the swordfish free,
I'd roasted him like beef.
But the story doesn't end there;
Oh, no, not by half.
It wasn't me that won the day,
The fish had the last laugh
For although I loved that swordfish.
With his coy little smile.
I'd undercooked him badly,
Now my vomit tastes of bile.
I went to see the fishman,
Who ran the local store.
I said "I want a swordfish",
He said, "back again, want more?"
"Of course, you silly man"
I said, a frown upon my face.
"You know I love those swordfish"
That put him in his place.
"What happened to the last one?"
He questioned me right there
"You said that you'd look after it,
with Tender Loving Care"
"I did!", I said deceivingly,
"I loved it like a son,
But it was a naughty swordfish,
So justice was done"
"No matter how I begged it,
or punished it with rue,
That swordfish behaved badly,
Why, I have no clue"
"So, in the end, I had no choice,
That swordfish had to go.
I watched him swim away offshore,
Crying rivers of sorrow"
"You poor thing" the fishman said,
"This one's here's on me"
He handed me a new swordfish
My face lit up with glee.
I felt the slightest twinge of guilt
As I wandered to the car.
I'd been telling porkie pies to him
Avoiding truth thus far.
For the truth was rather different,
I'd been lieing through my teeth.
I hadn't set the swordfish free,
I'd roasted him like beef.
But the story doesn't end there;
Oh, no, not by half.
It wasn't me that won the day,
The fish had the last laugh
For although I loved that swordfish.
With his coy little smile.
I'd undercooked him badly,
Now my vomit tastes of bile.
Who ran the local store.
I said "I want a swordfish",
He said, "back again, want more?"
"Of course, you silly man"
I said, a frown upon my face.
"You know I love those swordfish"
That put him in his place.
"What happened to the last one?"
He questioned me right there
"You said that you'd look after it,
with Tender Loving Care"
"I did!", I said deceivingly,
"I loved it like a son,
But it was a naughty swordfish,
So justice was done"
"No matter how I begged it,
or punished it with rue,
That swordfish behaved badly,
Why, I have no clue"
"So, in the end, I had no choice,
That swordfish had to go.
I watched him swim away offshore,
Crying rivers of sorrow"
"You poor thing" the fishman said,
"This one's here's on me"
He handed me a new swordfish
My face lit up with glee.
I felt the slightest twinge of guilt
As I wandered to the car.
I'd been telling porkie pies to him
Avoiding truth thus far.
For the truth was rather different,
I'd been lieing through my teeth.
I hadn't set the swordfish free,
I'd roasted him like beef.
But the story doesn't end there;
Oh, no, not by half.
It wasn't me that won the day,
The fish had the last laugh
For although I loved that swordfish.
With his coy little smile.
I'd undercooked him badly,
Now my vomit tastes of bile.
I figured it was a bit fishy.
I'll get me coat.
I'll get me coat.
I wolfed down 2 swordfish once. The clattering battle that ensued in my stomach are horrendous. I eventually had no option but to drown them with a pint of milk.
*are* - *was* - oh it's early in the morning!