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"Irrational anxiety"

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Thu 30/01/03 at 21:15
Regular
Posts: 787
Left the office at 5.20 pm - 1 hour and 20 minutes late. It would be dark by the time I got home so decided to take Jake (the dog) for a walk in the local park/woods where we usually go at lunchtime. Parked the car and unloaded the dog. He's only 20 months old, with lots of energy and he is really looking forward to this, as he knows where he is.

Walked pass the park bit and into the woods, let the dog off the lead. I'll be okay, once I get pass these trees I can get onto a huge field where I will be able to see quite a distance even this evening. I can hear some lads yelling but as it is quiet in the woods they are probably a fair distance away and the sound is carrying.

15 minute walk to the field, I'd be okay if my thoughts would just shut up!!!!

What's that white light? Jake, I shout, come here. Oh what a great way to let anyone around aware of your gender. The light has disappeared now. I'll be okay. So why am I gripping the plastic handle of the dogs lead for dear life and why do I have the car keys gripped in my other hand with the keys poking through my fingers?

I can handle anyone that wishes to attack me. There is no one here to attack me. Wait - a light has appeared at the end of the path where I am heading. It's a weird light, hovering quite high on the path. Brilliant, so now you believe in Martians - get a grip. Grabs the dog, the light is travelling fast towards me. Richardhead - just a couple of joggers. Let them pass me before I release the dog again.

The white light has appeared and disappeared again - I'll be okay. I've only been in the woods five minutes. It is very, very quiet

No I will not be okay. Turn round, go back. There is an immediate sense of relief, of well being. I am breathing properly, I never realised I had been breathing shallowly. My vision is clearer and the tension in my shoulders and neck is easing. I can feel my heartbeat slowing down. I didn't realise I had been so close to total panic. Put the car keys in my pocket and eased the grip on the lead.

I still have to get back to the car so why now do I feel so good? I am not afraid of the dark nor of being attacked but my thoughts were so very ugly.

The white light? Just some bloke on a bike going round in circles.
Thu 30/01/03 at 22:02
Regular
"Going nowhere fast"
Posts: 6,574
Thanks
Thu 30/01/03 at 21:25
Regular
"Selected"
Posts: 4,199
nice, it actually got a bit tense for a second there. :)
Thu 30/01/03 at 21:15
Regular
"Going nowhere fast"
Posts: 6,574
Left the office at 5.20 pm - 1 hour and 20 minutes late. It would be dark by the time I got home so decided to take Jake (the dog) for a walk in the local park/woods where we usually go at lunchtime. Parked the car and unloaded the dog. He's only 20 months old, with lots of energy and he is really looking forward to this, as he knows where he is.

Walked pass the park bit and into the woods, let the dog off the lead. I'll be okay, once I get pass these trees I can get onto a huge field where I will be able to see quite a distance even this evening. I can hear some lads yelling but as it is quiet in the woods they are probably a fair distance away and the sound is carrying.

15 minute walk to the field, I'd be okay if my thoughts would just shut up!!!!

What's that white light? Jake, I shout, come here. Oh what a great way to let anyone around aware of your gender. The light has disappeared now. I'll be okay. So why am I gripping the plastic handle of the dogs lead for dear life and why do I have the car keys gripped in my other hand with the keys poking through my fingers?

I can handle anyone that wishes to attack me. There is no one here to attack me. Wait - a light has appeared at the end of the path where I am heading. It's a weird light, hovering quite high on the path. Brilliant, so now you believe in Martians - get a grip. Grabs the dog, the light is travelling fast towards me. Richardhead - just a couple of joggers. Let them pass me before I release the dog again.

The white light has appeared and disappeared again - I'll be okay. I've only been in the woods five minutes. It is very, very quiet

No I will not be okay. Turn round, go back. There is an immediate sense of relief, of well being. I am breathing properly, I never realised I had been breathing shallowly. My vision is clearer and the tension in my shoulders and neck is easing. I can feel my heartbeat slowing down. I didn't realise I had been so close to total panic. Put the car keys in my pocket and eased the grip on the lead.

I still have to get back to the car so why now do I feel so good? I am not afraid of the dark nor of being attacked but my thoughts were so very ugly.

The white light? Just some bloke on a bike going round in circles.

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