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"An interesting tale of woe..."

Submitted for your approval, I present to you the tale of a man. In most respects a very ordinary man. An ordinary man with an ordinary job, an ordinary family and most ordinary siblings. In fact, this man was often proclaimed the most ordinary of men, amongst the townspeople of the very ordinary suburban city in which he lived. However, this man had a secret. A most intrigate secret. A secret that, if revealed, would put an end to these proclamations of ordinarity.

Now, you're probably wondering what this secret was, right? Well, I'm not going to tell you yet. It would ruin the story. Instead, I'll be giving you clues along the way, and you could try to figure out the nature of his secret on your own.

One day, a Thursday I think it was, the man was awoken by the mechanical sound of his alarm clock. A noise he had heard so often before. But this particular Thursday morning, the sound seemed to be louder than usual. He felt the noise level increase with every single beep. The noise penetrated his thoughts and he felt himself unable to move. Gathering all the strength he possessed he lifted his hand to the clock and hit the "alarm" button. The noise stopped as abruptly as it had started.

He breathed a sigh of relief and slowly rose from his comfortable bed. He turned on his radio and poured himself a cup of coffee. Three parts coffee to one part milk. Just the way he liked it. A familiar jingle played in the radio. The morning news.
"Was this the day that they find out the truth about his horrific secret?" He shuttered at the thought, and turned to the radio, concentrated yet somewhat relaxed. This morning ritual was all too common to him. After all, his secret had gone on for quite some time now...

"... and the dog was safely returned. Police are still baffled about the recent spree of brutal slayings that has occurred in the red light district of this town. A spokesman for the local law enforcement says that he is however confident that a suspect will be introduced into the investigation at a later date...
This was the news at eight. Please join us again at nine for the latest updates."

He turned the radio off. They hadn't found out. His secret was still only his. He finished his coffee and made his way into the bathroom. After his shower, he stood for a while and looked at his reflection in the mirror. His eyes had a devilish glow to them. He had always known that his eyes had a special effect on people. They made him seem trustworthy, but at the same time, somewhat shifty.

He went into the bedroom and put on his clothes. This was the time of the day he enjoyed the most. The time where he was convinced that he was like everyone else. That he put his pants on like everybody else. One leg at a time. He had tried with both legs once, but had fallen flat on his face. He felt normal. Ordinary.

Off to work and yet another day was quickly getting worse. He often spent the entire day there, just dreaming of getting home. Home to his secret. Home to his lair of secrecy. Where no-one could boss him around. Where no-one had an say over what he did or did not do. But as these thoughts filled his head, the work seemed to last forever. Constant nagging from his superiors. Customers holding him personally responsible for everything from global warming to their puddel tossing its cookies after "din-din"... He hated them. Hated them with a passion. Often found himself daydreaming of their horrible demise at his hand. Chooping off their hands with a dull blade just to beat them over the head with them.

6PM finally arrived and he wasn't slow to leave. He ran towards the bus stop, only to find that the bus had been cancelled due to the body of a bus driver being discovered. The police said that he had been murdered at about 8:30 that morning whilst stopping at this very bus stop.
"Serves him right, that fu.... bus freak" he thought, noticing a small smile emerging on his face. He hailed a cab and was taken to his home...

He threw his jacket in a chair, poured a cup of coffee and turned on his computer. He logged on to dating.dk in search of his next victim...

Well, now. Have you guessed his terrible secret? Was he a serial killer? Did he actually kill the bus driver? Did he drink too much coffee?

No... He just spent a couple of hours writing pointless stories, with no plot, on the internet, and fooling innocent people into reading them...

SUCKER !!!

So it was you who takes your coffee in 3 parts to one of milk?

That's as weak as your story, you soft git!

Submitted for your approval, I present to you the tale of a man. In most respects a very ordinary man. An ordinary man with an ordinary job, an ordinary family and most ordinary siblings. In fact, this man was often proclaimed the most ordinary of men, amongst the townspeople of the very ordinary suburban city in which he lived. However, this man had a secret. A most intrigate secret. A secret that, if revealed, would put an end to these proclamations of ordinarity.

Now, you're probably wondering what this secret was, right? Well, I'm not going to tell you yet. It would ruin the story. Instead, I'll be giving you clues along the way, and you could try to figure out the nature of his secret on your own.

One day, a Thursday I think it was, the man was awoken by the mechanical sound of his alarm clock. A noise he had heard so often before. But this particular Thursday morning, the sound seemed to be louder than usual. He felt the noise level increase with every single beep. The noise penetrated his thoughts and he felt himself unable to move. Gathering all the strength he possessed he lifted his hand to the clock and hit the "alarm" button. The noise stopped as abruptly as it had started.

He breathed a sigh of relief and slowly rose from his comfortable bed. He turned on his radio and poured himself a cup of coffee. Three parts coffee to one part milk. Just the way he liked it. A familiar jingle played in the radio. The morning news.
"Was this the day that they find out the truth about his horrific secret?" He shuttered at the thought, and turned to the radio, concentrated yet somewhat relaxed. This morning ritual was all too common to him. After all, his secret had gone on for quite some time now...

"... and the dog was safely returned. Police are still baffled about the recent spree of brutal slayings that has occurred in the red light district of this town. A spokesman for the local law enforcement says that he is however confident that a suspect will be introduced into the investigation at a later date...
This was the news at eight. Please join us again at nine for the latest updates."

He turned the radio off. They hadn't found out. His secret was still only his. He finished his coffee and made his way into the bathroom. After his shower, he stood for a while and looked at his reflection in the mirror. His eyes had a devilish glow to them. He had always known that his eyes had a special effect on people. They made him seem trustworthy, but at the same time, somewhat shifty.

He went into the bedroom and put on his clothes. This was the time of the day he enjoyed the most. The time where he was convinced that he was like everyone else. That he put his pants on like everybody else. One leg at a time. He had tried with both legs once, but had fallen flat on his face. He felt normal. Ordinary.

Off to work and yet another day was quickly getting worse. He often spent the entire day there, just dreaming of getting home. Home to his secret. Home to his lair of secrecy. Where no-one could boss him around. Where no-one had an say over what he did or did not do. But as these thoughts filled his head, the work seemed to last forever. Constant nagging from his superiors. Customers holding him personally responsible for everything from global warming to their puddel tossing its cookies after "din-din"... He hated them. Hated them with a passion. Often found himself daydreaming of their horrible demise at his hand. Chooping off their hands with a dull blade just to beat them over the head with them.

6PM finally arrived and he wasn't slow to leave. He ran towards the bus stop, only to find that the bus had been cancelled due to the body of a bus driver being discovered. The police said that he had been murdered at about 8:30 that morning whilst stopping at this very bus stop.
"Serves him right, that fu.... bus freak" he thought, noticing a small smile emerging on his face. He hailed a cab and was taken to his home...

He threw his jacket in a chair, poured a cup of coffee and turned on his computer. He logged on to dating.dk in search of his next victim...

Well, now. Have you guessed his terrible secret? Was he a serial killer? Did he actually kill the bus driver? Did he drink too much coffee?

No... He just spent a couple of hours writing pointless stories, with no plot, on the internet, and fooling innocent people into reading them...

SUCKER !!!