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UN inspectors have just announced that they’ve discovered and subsequently uncovered, a cache of Weapons of Mass Destruction, in a daring raid that will surely discredit the Iraqi regime.
The most terrifying WOMD found, was an unknown container containing “as many as twelve flat stones” the spokesman at the hastily arranged press conference revealed. Experts confirm that one of these stones could be skilfully skimmed across a watercourse, doing untold damage to numerous aquatic soldiers, hitting each of their heads in turn, as they are bobbing vulnerably on the surface like worm ridden, half gnawed, soured apples in a School fete.
Another hideous find were several sharpened sticks, which it is thought could be tied together and arranged in such a fashion, that several soldier’s eyes could be pocked out, simultaneously. The spokesman then went on to explain, to any Sun readers who will get the Reuters news feed, that the big word used at the end of the previous sentence (the lines where you put words in), means at the same time.
American and British Tanks are having their armour reinforced with egg boxes as a direct result of this finding and the holes through which the drivers peer, will be boarded up with smelly wood, like that house at the end of your street, where that strange women used to live with her fifteen cats and two Koala Bears.
A major biological threat was also adverted today, when a routine patrol of F-22’s found several young Iraqi’s pumping excreta-based methane gas emissions, into two-litre empty plastic fizzy drinks bottles, which were directly attached to their anuses. These rudimentary stink bombs could have taken down a small village in Nebraska, the size of a small village in Wales, if they hadn’t have used their Sidewinder missiles to neutralise the threat and odour. Rhonda the odour agony aunt, who appears at the end of most of those glossy tabloid supplements, is currently on Red Alert as the sales of Baked Beans and Panda Cola have rocketed in Baghdad in recent months.
Fox have already sealed the rights to the TV movie “Rings of Fire” based on the worse case scenario.
The most terrifying WOMD found, was an unknown container containing “as many as twelve flat stones” the spokesman at the hastily arranged press conference revealed. Experts confirm that one of these stones could be skilfully skimmed across a watercourse, doing untold damage to numerous aquatic soldiers, hitting each of their heads in turn, as they are bobbing vulnerably on the surface like worm ridden, half gnawed, soured apples in a School fete.
Another hideous find were several sharpened sticks, which it is thought could be tied together and arranged in such a fashion, that several soldier’s eyes could be pocked out, simultaneously. The spokesman then went on to explain, to any Sun readers who will get the Reuters news feed, that the big word used at the end of the previous sentence (the lines where you put words in), means at the same time.
American and British Tanks are having their armour reinforced with egg boxes as a direct result of this finding and the holes through which the drivers peer, will be boarded up with smelly wood, like that house at the end of your street, where that strange women used to live with her fifteen cats and two Koala Bears.
A major biological threat was also adverted today, when a routine patrol of F-22’s found several young Iraqi’s pumping excreta-based methane gas emissions, into two-litre empty plastic fizzy drinks bottles, which were directly attached to their anuses. These rudimentary stink bombs could have taken down a small village in Nebraska, the size of a small village in Wales, if they hadn’t have used their Sidewinder missiles to neutralise the threat and odour. Rhonda the odour agony aunt, who appears at the end of most of those glossy tabloid supplements, is currently on Red Alert as the sales of Baked Beans and Panda Cola have rocketed in Baghdad in recent months.
Fox have already sealed the rights to the TV movie “Rings of Fire” based on the worse case scenario.
LOL nice one
Terrifying, especially in the light of a classified ad in my local paper:
"Wanted: twelve sharpened sticks suitable for smiting infidels. Preferably in good condition and with receipt. American wood would be best. Phone Mr OB Laden 0800-JIHAD. £3.50 ONO."
"Wanted: twelve sharpened sticks suitable for smiting infidels. Preferably in good condition and with receipt. American wood would be best. Phone Mr OB Laden 0800-JIHAD. £3.50 ONO."
Funny, well done. :)
Proof, if proof be needed that we need to start raining down the bombs on these merchants of evil forthwith!
Funny :-)
Funny :-)
UN inspectors have just announced that they’ve discovered and subsequently uncovered, a cache of Weapons of Mass Destruction, in a daring raid that will surely discredit the Iraqi regime.
The most terrifying WOMD found, was an unknown container containing “as many as twelve flat stones” the spokesman at the hastily arranged press conference revealed. Experts confirm that one of these stones could be skilfully skimmed across a watercourse, doing untold damage to numerous aquatic soldiers, hitting each of their heads in turn, as they are bobbing vulnerably on the surface like worm ridden, half gnawed, soured apples in a School fete.
Another hideous find were several sharpened sticks, which it is thought could be tied together and arranged in such a fashion, that several soldier’s eyes could be pocked out, simultaneously. The spokesman then went on to explain, to any Sun readers who will get the Reuters news feed, that the big word used at the end of the previous sentence (the lines where you put words in), means at the same time.
American and British Tanks are having their armour reinforced with egg boxes as a direct result of this finding and the holes through which the drivers peer, will be boarded up with smelly wood, like that house at the end of your street, where that strange women used to live with her fifteen cats and two Koala Bears.
A major biological threat was also adverted today, when a routine patrol of F-22’s found several young Iraqi’s pumping excreta-based methane gas emissions, into two-litre empty plastic fizzy drinks bottles, which were directly attached to their anuses. These rudimentary stink bombs could have taken down a small village in Nebraska, the size of a small village in Wales, if they hadn’t have used their Sidewinder missiles to neutralise the threat and odour. Rhonda the odour agony aunt, who appears at the end of most of those glossy tabloid supplements, is currently on Red Alert as the sales of Baked Beans and Panda Cola have rocketed in Baghdad in recent months.
Fox have already sealed the rights to the TV movie “Rings of Fire” based on the worse case scenario.
The most terrifying WOMD found, was an unknown container containing “as many as twelve flat stones” the spokesman at the hastily arranged press conference revealed. Experts confirm that one of these stones could be skilfully skimmed across a watercourse, doing untold damage to numerous aquatic soldiers, hitting each of their heads in turn, as they are bobbing vulnerably on the surface like worm ridden, half gnawed, soured apples in a School fete.
Another hideous find were several sharpened sticks, which it is thought could be tied together and arranged in such a fashion, that several soldier’s eyes could be pocked out, simultaneously. The spokesman then went on to explain, to any Sun readers who will get the Reuters news feed, that the big word used at the end of the previous sentence (the lines where you put words in), means at the same time.
American and British Tanks are having their armour reinforced with egg boxes as a direct result of this finding and the holes through which the drivers peer, will be boarded up with smelly wood, like that house at the end of your street, where that strange women used to live with her fifteen cats and two Koala Bears.
A major biological threat was also adverted today, when a routine patrol of F-22’s found several young Iraqi’s pumping excreta-based methane gas emissions, into two-litre empty plastic fizzy drinks bottles, which were directly attached to their anuses. These rudimentary stink bombs could have taken down a small village in Nebraska, the size of a small village in Wales, if they hadn’t have used their Sidewinder missiles to neutralise the threat and odour. Rhonda the odour agony aunt, who appears at the end of most of those glossy tabloid supplements, is currently on Red Alert as the sales of Baked Beans and Panda Cola have rocketed in Baghdad in recent months.
Fox have already sealed the rights to the TV movie “Rings of Fire” based on the worse case scenario.