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"People Who Make Themselves Victims"

Someone makes themself feel like a victim, feel used or put upon, then holds it against the people they've identified as 'taking advantage of them'.

Eg, by taking on a lot of work themselves, and stubornly refusing help, then complaining that others don't pull their weight or are lazy.



What's going on here, and what's the best way to deal with someone in this position?

I know I shouldn't, but I still feel caught in the guilt-trap sometimes.

Someone makes themself feel like a victim, feel used or put upon, then holds it against the people they've identified as 'taking advantage of them'.

Eg, by taking on a lot of work themselves, and stubornly refusing help, then complaining that others don't pull their weight or are lazy.



What's going on here, and what's the best way to deal with someone in this position?

I know I shouldn't, but I still feel caught in the guilt-trap sometimes.

Is the situation you describe the one you find yourself in?

i.e. work related

My mum does that... It aggrevates me.

It's one of my biggest irritants, I used to keep on at them trying to help them but they just don't want help so I just think keep wallowing in your own created misery.

Thing is i bet we all do it sometime in our life. I dont believe for one minute there is someone that hasnt been like that or wont be like that.

I admit I do it at times but soon come to my senses and accept the help as it helps you and those around you.

Chaos wrote:
> My mum does that... It aggrevates me.

Yeah, mine too. She gives a good show with pretending to faint and all! I just do what I can whether she wants me to or not and normally that breaks down that defensive barrier when she sees me taking the initiative.

I don't do it for her anyways, just for the sake of doing what needs to be done. I couldn't stand living with her.

Seraphim wrote:
> Thing is i bet we all do it sometime in our life. I dont believe
> for one minute there is someone that hasnt been like that or
> wont be like that.

Yes I've been like that a few times, perhaps a lot more when I was a kid :)

My ex is always making her self seem like the victim in our relationship. I think the way she tells it, I'm the worst human in the world.

Machie wrote:

> My ex is always making her self seem like the victim in our
> relationship. I think the way she tells it, I'm the worst human
> in the world.

Wasn't really fair to abduct her from her bedroom as she slept and keep her in an underground bunker for 7 months though ... ;P

I gave her newspaper to sleep on, what more does she need!!