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"Bunch of maggots today."

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Mon 27/01/03 at 15:56
Regular
Posts: 787
Yes, you.

You see, I don't pop in here to bore myself to tears, or stare endlessly at a monitor screen fully intent on never changing. Yet, pretty much all day there has been nothing of any remote value in this forum. Nothing.

Where are the spasmodic attempts to report news? The moronic attempts to whip up some anti or pro war sensationalism? The endless pontification on subjects like drugs and prostitution?

There is none of this today. No mention of the foreboding destruction in the middle east, no sign of escalating domestic issues and not even a whiff sensationalist stupidity.

This forum is the only newspaper I read. How the hell am I supposed to know what's going on in the world if you bloated oafs aren't going to tell me? Quite simply, this isn't good enough. I want the news, now. Wherever and whenever I am, you simple, talentless worms should be providing the goods. I don't even know what makes you deplorable spawn of promiscuous and indiscriminate harlets think that you have time to read this thread.

Go, gather news, and deliver it to me. Here. Now.

Filthy bunch of cretinous peons.
Mon 27/01/03 at 16:59
Regular
"no longer El Blokey"
Posts: 4,471
Sorry, I thought that would suffice. Forgive me if I sound repetetive when posting in reply to you, but then your repetetive rants also grow tiresome.
Mon 27/01/03 at 16:55
"Darth Vader 3442321"
Posts: 4,031
News Just in.

Justin: eh? I'm only here to repair the photocopier mate.

Bada boom!
Mon 27/01/03 at 16:50
"Darkness, always"
Posts: 9,603
El Blokey wrote:
> didn't you leave?

Your lack of vocabulary is actually something of a cause for concern. I'd see a doctor if I were you, or a full bottle of aspirin.
Mon 27/01/03 at 16:46
Regular
"no longer El Blokey"
Posts: 4,471
Insane Bartender wrote:
> You see, I don't pop in here to bore myself to tears, or stare
> endlessly at a monitor screen fully intent on never changing. Yet,
> pretty much all day there has been nothing of any remote value in this
> forum. Nothing.

Last time you posted something like this, didn't you leave?
Mon 27/01/03 at 16:44
"Darkness, always"
Posts: 9,603
Goatboy wrote:
> Your quest for stupidity must be one undertaken alone, else what is
> the purpose of being an assgurner?

I hope that while you typed that with one hand, the other was compiling a comprehensive dossier on world affairs, the history of the mayan people and technology that can slow down light to a crawl.

I want your report no later than tomorrow morning, 10AM.
Mon 27/01/03 at 16:30
Regular
"Infantalised Forums"
Posts: 23,089
Your quest for stupidity must be one undertaken alone, else what is the purpose of being an assgurner?
Mon 27/01/03 at 16:20
"Darkness, always"
Posts: 9,603
Insane Bartender wrote:
> This forum is the only newspaper I read.

capíche?

Go, oh hunter/gatherers. Bring purpose to your lives and warmth to your masters heart. For what are you without me?

Exactly. Now go.
Mon 27/01/03 at 16:13
Regular
Posts: 3,182
Haven't you heard? Tony Blair has just been assassinated by a bogus asylum seeker.
Mon 27/01/03 at 16:08
Regular
"Brownium Motion"
Posts: 4,100
Last i heard, the USA is going to war alone if need be. They have tried to discredits the reputation of Hans Blix in an attempt to stain the credibility of his findings. Basically there is no evidence that Iraq have WMD but Bush is prepared to go it alone AND ignore UN resolutions. In other words, the USA is going to war and to hell with anyone who disagrees with them. Scumbags.

Chris Kirkland is out for the season due to his injuiry against Palace. Rangers have signed defender Jerome Bonnissel from Girondins Bordeaux.

Candidates in Israel's general election have been making last-minute appeals before voting begins on Tuesday. Final opinion polls indicate victory for the right-wing Likud Party of Prime Minister Ariel Sharon, with the opposition Labour Party facing its biggest ever defeat.
The secular centrist Shinui Party could emerge as the third largest party, polls show.

Happy now?
Mon 27/01/03 at 16:07
Regular
"Orbiting Uranus"
Posts: 5,665
you could try www.bbc.co.uk/news

or is that too much effort?

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