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Eastender's is not fun to watch. It's a chore, just like grabbing all the hidden packages in Vice City or injecting yourself with heroin. All three of these things started out innocently enough, a bit of fun, something to enjoy...but they all lose the glamour factor and you only continue because you're waiting for the end of the tunnel - be it the payoff of a recent storyline, a Hunter helicopter or a big hit. Having that big fat bloated tomato of a thug Phill Mitchell at the centre of a "Who Shot JR" rip-off was overshadowed by the efforts of both Dallas AND The Simpsons, and when the characters aren't getting drunk and having fights, they're being fired because the writers just run out of ideas.
I'm sure none of you are suprised, I mean after all, Eastenders is just Neighbours only without the sun or scantily clad women...and there's idea number one. The Aussie soap got rid of the dead weight when the killed of old Madge recently, so why not pull out all the stops and have another huge plane crash that wipes out all the women over the age of 30. Then have the town taken over by young impressionable European female tourists who like bikinis, running around and exploring their sexuality. This would definitely pull in the big ratings, forget about some Dot-themed special or a comeback from that bloke that used to be Tucker off Grange Hill. Want some more ideas? Well read on.
How about making it like Banzai - a play along at home show. It could be a drinking game - take a shot or drink a pint whenever a Mitchell says "I'm a Mitchell", whenever Laura cries or a Slater either slaps someone, or is slapped. And take five when Sonia comes on...in fact, just drink until she goes off screen. Yeugh.
My next idea will bring in the younger audience, but no doubt captivate the whole nation regardless of age, race or whether or not they can roll their tongue. The announce of a release date for the next Harry Potter book has whipped the modern world up into a frenzy, so why not capitalise on the interest of magic? HAVE A WIZARD MOVE INTO ALBERT SQUARE. The show is too gritty, too much like boring real life, and nobody wants to see that (apart from when Big Brother is on)...add someone with mystical powers and the excitement value goes through the roof. Instead of the usual scrapping with Ian down the pub, a wizard could turn him into a packet of frozen chips, and make Laura fry her own husband.
Why not shove a laughter track on there? They love ruining perfectly good shows with OTT canned guffaws, so it couldn't hurt to try it out; they might even convert a rubbish drama into a classic comedy, a transformation of Thierry Henry from winger to striker proportions! Maybe bring in John Cleese to take over the bed and breakfast, and the Trotters could move in next door - after the last special the Beeb seem so determined to soil Only Fools and Horses' reputation they may as well milk the cow (trotters? Cow? Animals? Oh forget it...).
And lastly, why don't they do what Rockstar did. Take a hugely successful (although why, I cannot say where Eastenders is concerned) formula and put it in the 80s. Steve could still be around, he'd be the local celebrity as the official Walford 'bloke from Spandeau Ballet' impersonator. Pat wouldn't be a murderer (yet) and that waste of space Martin wouldn't be born yet! Add in some Black Sabbath and Blondie playing in the pub and cafe, a few 'Frankie says...' shirts and hot pants, and it would be like looking into a backwards crystal ball that looked back to the past instead of forward to the future! Or something.
Thanks for reading, I'm glad to hear your thoughts on these and your own ideas to make 'stenders less terrible.
I'm sure none of you are suprised, I mean after all, Eastenders is just Neighbours only without the sun or scantily clad women...and there's idea number one. The Aussie soap got rid of the dead weight when the killed of old Madge recently, so why not pull out all the stops and have another huge plane crash that wipes out all the women over the age of 30. Then have the town taken over by young impressionable European female tourists who like bikinis, running around and exploring their sexuality. This would definitely pull in the big ratings, forget about some Dot-themed special or a comeback from that bloke that used to be Tucker off Grange Hill. Want some more ideas? Well read on.
How about making it like Banzai - a play along at home show. It could be a drinking game - take a shot or drink a pint whenever a Mitchell says "I'm a Mitchell", whenever Laura cries or a Slater either slaps someone, or is slapped. And take five when Sonia comes on...in fact, just drink until she goes off screen. Yeugh.
My next idea will bring in the younger audience, but no doubt captivate the whole nation regardless of age, race or whether or not they can roll their tongue. The announce of a release date for the next Harry Potter book has whipped the modern world up into a frenzy, so why not capitalise on the interest of magic? HAVE A WIZARD MOVE INTO ALBERT SQUARE. The show is too gritty, too much like boring real life, and nobody wants to see that (apart from when Big Brother is on)...add someone with mystical powers and the excitement value goes through the roof. Instead of the usual scrapping with Ian down the pub, a wizard could turn him into a packet of frozen chips, and make Laura fry her own husband.
Why not shove a laughter track on there? They love ruining perfectly good shows with OTT canned guffaws, so it couldn't hurt to try it out; they might even convert a rubbish drama into a classic comedy, a transformation of Thierry Henry from winger to striker proportions! Maybe bring in John Cleese to take over the bed and breakfast, and the Trotters could move in next door - after the last special the Beeb seem so determined to soil Only Fools and Horses' reputation they may as well milk the cow (trotters? Cow? Animals? Oh forget it...).
And lastly, why don't they do what Rockstar did. Take a hugely successful (although why, I cannot say where Eastenders is concerned) formula and put it in the 80s. Steve could still be around, he'd be the local celebrity as the official Walford 'bloke from Spandeau Ballet' impersonator. Pat wouldn't be a murderer (yet) and that waste of space Martin wouldn't be born yet! Add in some Black Sabbath and Blondie playing in the pub and cafe, a few 'Frankie says...' shirts and hot pants, and it would be like looking into a backwards crystal ball that looked back to the past instead of forward to the future! Or something.
Thanks for reading, I'm glad to hear your thoughts on these and your own ideas to make 'stenders less terrible.
The best way to make Eastenders more enjoyable: NOT WATCH IT!
i'm sure that would work
i'm sure that would work
Lakers' 5 step plan of how to make Eastenders better
1) Get rid of the slaters except for Little Mo and Zoe. I don't want to see them for around 25 minutes on each show every bloody week. Apart from the 2 i mentioned none can actually act to save their life and why exactly do people think Kat Slater is good looking? Unless you find fake tan, hair that looks like it's been cut by hedgetrimmers and 20 stones of make up on a woman attractive i can't see the attraction myself.
2) Get some actual strong male characters back in the show. All we have now is Phil Mitchell who doesn't burst into tears everytime he hears some sad news and he doesn't put up with any crap from his women. Gary has been cheated on twice yet that's all forgotten when Lynne finds out he did it with fish face Laura. Get rid of the feminists writing the show and make it more believable. Why can't we have strong female characters AND strong male characters? Oh and also that scene with Sam and the bartender was totally sexist. If it had been the other way round there'd have been tons of complaints. Equal rights? Pshhht yea right.
3) It needs more comedy in it. Jim and Patrick do a good enough job but we need more than one comedy duo in there. Add a bit of light relief to the square.
4) Storylines that are actually believable would be nice too. Jamie getting killed by a car going at 5mph? Not very realistic, though it could have been that kiss from Sonja that finally sent him to an early grave. Some continuation would be nice as well. Why all the fuss about Ian telling Steven he's not his father? Steven found that out after Cindy died sheesh.
5) Talk Ross Kemp into coming back to the Square. Having the Mitchell brothers back together again would make things a whole lot more interesting especially seeing Sharon is around as well.
And finally the one thing Eastenders has actually got right for a very long time:
Alfie Moon - Shane Ritchie is great in that role and he's one of the few characters you can actually believe to be from the East End. Very funny yet can also be serious as well. Great character. More of this mould please
1) Get rid of the slaters except for Little Mo and Zoe. I don't want to see them for around 25 minutes on each show every bloody week. Apart from the 2 i mentioned none can actually act to save their life and why exactly do people think Kat Slater is good looking? Unless you find fake tan, hair that looks like it's been cut by hedgetrimmers and 20 stones of make up on a woman attractive i can't see the attraction myself.
2) Get some actual strong male characters back in the show. All we have now is Phil Mitchell who doesn't burst into tears everytime he hears some sad news and he doesn't put up with any crap from his women. Gary has been cheated on twice yet that's all forgotten when Lynne finds out he did it with fish face Laura. Get rid of the feminists writing the show and make it more believable. Why can't we have strong female characters AND strong male characters? Oh and also that scene with Sam and the bartender was totally sexist. If it had been the other way round there'd have been tons of complaints. Equal rights? Pshhht yea right.
3) It needs more comedy in it. Jim and Patrick do a good enough job but we need more than one comedy duo in there. Add a bit of light relief to the square.
4) Storylines that are actually believable would be nice too. Jamie getting killed by a car going at 5mph? Not very realistic, though it could have been that kiss from Sonja that finally sent him to an early grave. Some continuation would be nice as well. Why all the fuss about Ian telling Steven he's not his father? Steven found that out after Cindy died sheesh.
5) Talk Ross Kemp into coming back to the Square. Having the Mitchell brothers back together again would make things a whole lot more interesting especially seeing Sharon is around as well.
And finally the one thing Eastenders has actually got right for a very long time:
Alfie Moon - Shane Ritchie is great in that role and he's one of the few characters you can actually believe to be from the East End. Very funny yet can also be serious as well. Great character. More of this mould please
How to make Eastenders better:
Send a note to George Bush telling him Osama bin Laden's been spotted in Albert Square, then he'll nuke the place. Hoorah!
Send a note to George Bush telling him Osama bin Laden's been spotted in Albert Square, then he'll nuke the place. Hoorah!
Ah i must admit i do like corrie. But all soaps are just terrible, especially eastenders it's sooooooooo god damn stupid!!!! i mean there are normally 8 affairs going on at the same time and two murder cases plus it has the worst actors i've ever seen in it, the only good actor who's been in it in the past 5 years was martin kemp (steve owen) and he left. But still it's funny cos they all play tarty characters in the programme and act like eastend hos, but they're like that in real life too!
Hehe. Bringing a Wizard in would be great fun. Eastenders can be good but right now it's getting rrrreeeeealllly dull and I agree, it's hard to stop following it.
Coros getting quite good at the moment though, especially that Richard murder scene. That was cool. But I'm trying not to get into that as well in case I end up addicted.
Coros getting quite good at the moment though, especially that Richard murder scene. That was cool. But I'm trying not to get into that as well in case I end up addicted.
*sneaky pop*
Eastender's is not fun to watch. It's a chore, just like grabbing all the hidden packages in Vice City or injecting yourself with heroin. All three of these things started out innocently enough, a bit of fun, something to enjoy...but they all lose the glamour factor and you only continue because you're waiting for the end of the tunnel - be it the payoff of a recent storyline, a Hunter helicopter or a big hit. Having that big fat bloated tomato of a thug Phill Mitchell at the centre of a "Who Shot JR" rip-off was overshadowed by the efforts of both Dallas AND The Simpsons, and when the characters aren't getting drunk and having fights, they're being fired because the writers just run out of ideas.
I'm sure none of you are suprised, I mean after all, Eastenders is just Neighbours only without the sun or scantily clad women...and there's idea number one. The Aussie soap got rid of the dead weight when the killed of old Madge recently, so why not pull out all the stops and have another huge plane crash that wipes out all the women over the age of 30. Then have the town taken over by young impressionable European female tourists who like bikinis, running around and exploring their sexuality. This would definitely pull in the big ratings, forget about some Dot-themed special or a comeback from that bloke that used to be Tucker off Grange Hill. Want some more ideas? Well read on.
How about making it like Banzai - a play along at home show. It could be a drinking game - take a shot or drink a pint whenever a Mitchell says "I'm a Mitchell", whenever Laura cries or a Slater either slaps someone, or is slapped. And take five when Sonia comes on...in fact, just drink until she goes off screen. Yeugh.
My next idea will bring in the younger audience, but no doubt captivate the whole nation regardless of age, race or whether or not they can roll their tongue. The announce of a release date for the next Harry Potter book has whipped the modern world up into a frenzy, so why not capitalise on the interest of magic? HAVE A WIZARD MOVE INTO ALBERT SQUARE. The show is too gritty, too much like boring real life, and nobody wants to see that (apart from when Big Brother is on)...add someone with mystical powers and the excitement value goes through the roof. Instead of the usual scrapping with Ian down the pub, a wizard could turn him into a packet of frozen chips, and make Laura fry her own husband.
Why not shove a laughter track on there? They love ruining perfectly good shows with OTT canned guffaws, so it couldn't hurt to try it out; they might even convert a rubbish drama into a classic comedy, a transformation of Thierry Henry from winger to striker proportions! Maybe bring in John Cleese to take over the bed and breakfast, and the Trotters could move in next door - after the last special the Beeb seem so determined to soil Only Fools and Horses' reputation they may as well milk the cow (trotters? Cow? Animals? Oh forget it...).
And lastly, why don't they do what Rockstar did. Take a hugely successful (although why, I cannot say where Eastenders is concerned) formula and put it in the 80s. Steve could still be around, he'd be the local celebrity as the official Walford 'bloke from Spandeau Ballet' impersonator. Pat wouldn't be a murderer (yet) and that waste of space Martin wouldn't be born yet! Add in some Black Sabbath and Blondie playing in the pub and cafe, a few 'Frankie says...' shirts and hot pants, and it would be like looking into a backwards crystal ball that looked back to the past instead of forward to the future! Or something.
Thanks for reading, I'm glad to hear your thoughts on these and your own ideas to make 'stenders less terrible.
I'm sure none of you are suprised, I mean after all, Eastenders is just Neighbours only without the sun or scantily clad women...and there's idea number one. The Aussie soap got rid of the dead weight when the killed of old Madge recently, so why not pull out all the stops and have another huge plane crash that wipes out all the women over the age of 30. Then have the town taken over by young impressionable European female tourists who like bikinis, running around and exploring their sexuality. This would definitely pull in the big ratings, forget about some Dot-themed special or a comeback from that bloke that used to be Tucker off Grange Hill. Want some more ideas? Well read on.
How about making it like Banzai - a play along at home show. It could be a drinking game - take a shot or drink a pint whenever a Mitchell says "I'm a Mitchell", whenever Laura cries or a Slater either slaps someone, or is slapped. And take five when Sonia comes on...in fact, just drink until she goes off screen. Yeugh.
My next idea will bring in the younger audience, but no doubt captivate the whole nation regardless of age, race or whether or not they can roll their tongue. The announce of a release date for the next Harry Potter book has whipped the modern world up into a frenzy, so why not capitalise on the interest of magic? HAVE A WIZARD MOVE INTO ALBERT SQUARE. The show is too gritty, too much like boring real life, and nobody wants to see that (apart from when Big Brother is on)...add someone with mystical powers and the excitement value goes through the roof. Instead of the usual scrapping with Ian down the pub, a wizard could turn him into a packet of frozen chips, and make Laura fry her own husband.
Why not shove a laughter track on there? They love ruining perfectly good shows with OTT canned guffaws, so it couldn't hurt to try it out; they might even convert a rubbish drama into a classic comedy, a transformation of Thierry Henry from winger to striker proportions! Maybe bring in John Cleese to take over the bed and breakfast, and the Trotters could move in next door - after the last special the Beeb seem so determined to soil Only Fools and Horses' reputation they may as well milk the cow (trotters? Cow? Animals? Oh forget it...).
And lastly, why don't they do what Rockstar did. Take a hugely successful (although why, I cannot say where Eastenders is concerned) formula and put it in the 80s. Steve could still be around, he'd be the local celebrity as the official Walford 'bloke from Spandeau Ballet' impersonator. Pat wouldn't be a murderer (yet) and that waste of space Martin wouldn't be born yet! Add in some Black Sabbath and Blondie playing in the pub and cafe, a few 'Frankie says...' shirts and hot pants, and it would be like looking into a backwards crystal ball that looked back to the past instead of forward to the future! Or something.
Thanks for reading, I'm glad to hear your thoughts on these and your own ideas to make 'stenders less terrible.