The "Freeola Customer Forum" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
For those hoping to do to university this year; it's a bit of a pain isn't it? Filling in your UCAS form I mean. Hopefully, considering the deadline was the 15th, you've filed it off by now to be scrupulously looked over by some poor sod who's job it is to read through the rubbish we all wrote in our personal statements; and don't act like you didn't. So now it's all good and done, we're just supposed to sit in our cosy chairs waiting for a fat envelope to fall through the door informing us of our fate for the next 2/3/4 years. Or maybe not....
Fortunately, I've devised a devious, seemingly ingenious and quite frankly, downright stupendous idea that'll have us all doing our favourite job before you can say "Half-pint please!"
YEAHES!....thats right, I've only gone thought up my own university haven't I. And it's a damn sight better then this Oxford....Cambridge....Oxbridge business I've been hearing about. This ladies and gentlemen, IS MIKELAR UNIVERSITY!!!! ('m-uni' (pronounced mun-ee) for short)
I've even written a prospectus for it, Take a look, I think you'll be impressed:
YEAR 1:
We take you on a whirlwind tour of all the basics by improving every aspect of your existing knowledge on everything. The first year should hopefully ease you into the flow of what life at m-uni is like. It will also allow you to get to grips with the building - it's in the Guinness Book of Records for being the largest space within the smallest possible area y'know. You'll also get to know your peers and those who'll be studying with you for, oh, about another 3 years! So treat them well because they might just line your bed with faeces, oh oh; rascal students, what will they do next? M-uni is also proud to be able that it offers the highest teacher:student ratio per square inch, that's an amazing 46 tutors per student body, just think of all that juicy knowledge waiting to be chomped on and there isn't a single moment when you feel like your being surrounded because m-uni offers the largest library in all of the Atlantic Ocean. 460 books spread over 800,000 square feet mean that you'll be spending a fair while looking for what you need - partly because you'll need to walk 400,000 feet to get to the French History section from the English Language section and did we mention that the floor was newly refurbished - with sand? I think not. Unless you count then. Then I think so. Which I do.
YEAR 2:
Don't worry, here at m-uni we know that you've spent all the money you brought with you on beer in the first week of the first year, so we're going to top you up, £50,000 at an incredible 50% interest rate which is 50% better then what Oxford will offer you, I'll tell you that now, for free. In terms of actually doing work in year 2 - forget it, by now our Teachers will be sick to the back teeth of seeing you so we'll fit giant holographic talking lips in your room which are roughly 150 inches by 1050 inches. These will tell you what you want to know, when you want to know it....and strangely, how you want it to be said to you (with a total of over 133 languages available).
YEAR 3:
Unfortunately, we're not planning on running for longer then 3 years because building costs so far have totalled 57 Billion US Dollars which we blew on researching and making the automatic toilet roll refillers in the men's bathroom. The good news is that, on the 3rd year, we're going to blow the whole campus up with 600,000 imperial tons of T.N.T, 40,000 tons of plastic explosive 70,000 litres of petrol, 16 H-bombs and a sparkler (which made up the other 150 US Billion dollars we were given) and we're giving you the option of staying inside when it happens so you can end it while your young. We're expecting it to go all "BUUURRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" so it should be good.
Basically, that's the plan. Once my check clears for the funding, building will get underway and we expect the site to be finished by the year 3000 where we were informed by 'Q Television' that the famous boy band 'Busted' will open the, by then, hyper-cyber-campus for us.
The best thing about this whole shin dig is that it doesn't cost diddly squat to join, you just turn up on the day in standard dress (the bouncers will filter out the trouble makers) and we'll get the party started by partaking in the infamous m-uni challenge of drinking 5 litres per milligram of body fat of our famous Vodka/Whiskey/Rum punch (which was recorded as having a Vol. of 8766% in a forensic lab in Dundee) We have told Lisa Riley to stay away but her agent said that he'll accept no responsibility, no matter how big the riot gets, for her actions.
So join the fun! And I'll see you there in my Cyber-Oxygen Tent....of love?
C U Soon!
Fortunately, I've devised a devious, seemingly ingenious and quite frankly, downright stupendous idea that'll have us all doing our favourite job before you can say "Half-pint please!"
YEAHES!....thats right, I've only gone thought up my own university haven't I. And it's a damn sight better then this Oxford....Cambridge....Oxbridge business I've been hearing about. This ladies and gentlemen, IS MIKELAR UNIVERSITY!!!! ('m-uni' (pronounced mun-ee) for short)
I've even written a prospectus for it, Take a look, I think you'll be impressed:
YEAR 1:
We take you on a whirlwind tour of all the basics by improving every aspect of your existing knowledge on everything. The first year should hopefully ease you into the flow of what life at m-uni is like. It will also allow you to get to grips with the building - it's in the Guinness Book of Records for being the largest space within the smallest possible area y'know. You'll also get to know your peers and those who'll be studying with you for, oh, about another 3 years! So treat them well because they might just line your bed with faeces, oh oh; rascal students, what will they do next? M-uni is also proud to be able that it offers the highest teacher:student ratio per square inch, that's an amazing 46 tutors per student body, just think of all that juicy knowledge waiting to be chomped on and there isn't a single moment when you feel like your being surrounded because m-uni offers the largest library in all of the Atlantic Ocean. 460 books spread over 800,000 square feet mean that you'll be spending a fair while looking for what you need - partly because you'll need to walk 400,000 feet to get to the French History section from the English Language section and did we mention that the floor was newly refurbished - with sand? I think not. Unless you count then. Then I think so. Which I do.
YEAR 2:
Don't worry, here at m-uni we know that you've spent all the money you brought with you on beer in the first week of the first year, so we're going to top you up, £50,000 at an incredible 50% interest rate which is 50% better then what Oxford will offer you, I'll tell you that now, for free. In terms of actually doing work in year 2 - forget it, by now our Teachers will be sick to the back teeth of seeing you so we'll fit giant holographic talking lips in your room which are roughly 150 inches by 1050 inches. These will tell you what you want to know, when you want to know it....and strangely, how you want it to be said to you (with a total of over 133 languages available).
YEAR 3:
Unfortunately, we're not planning on running for longer then 3 years because building costs so far have totalled 57 Billion US Dollars which we blew on researching and making the automatic toilet roll refillers in the men's bathroom. The good news is that, on the 3rd year, we're going to blow the whole campus up with 600,000 imperial tons of T.N.T, 40,000 tons of plastic explosive 70,000 litres of petrol, 16 H-bombs and a sparkler (which made up the other 150 US Billion dollars we were given) and we're giving you the option of staying inside when it happens so you can end it while your young. We're expecting it to go all "BUUURRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" so it should be good.
Basically, that's the plan. Once my check clears for the funding, building will get underway and we expect the site to be finished by the year 3000 where we were informed by 'Q Television' that the famous boy band 'Busted' will open the, by then, hyper-cyber-campus for us.
The best thing about this whole shin dig is that it doesn't cost diddly squat to join, you just turn up on the day in standard dress (the bouncers will filter out the trouble makers) and we'll get the party started by partaking in the infamous m-uni challenge of drinking 5 litres per milligram of body fat of our famous Vodka/Whiskey/Rum punch (which was recorded as having a Vol. of 8766% in a forensic lab in Dundee) We have told Lisa Riley to stay away but her agent said that he'll accept no responsibility, no matter how big the riot gets, for her actions.
So join the fun! And I'll see you there in my Cyber-Oxygen Tent....of love?
C U Soon!
There have been no replies to this thread yet.
For those hoping to do to university this year; it's a bit of a pain isn't it? Filling in your UCAS form I mean. Hopefully, considering the deadline was the 15th, you've filed it off by now to be scrupulously looked over by some poor sod who's job it is to read through the rubbish we all wrote in our personal statements; and don't act like you didn't. So now it's all good and done, we're just supposed to sit in our cosy chairs waiting for a fat envelope to fall through the door informing us of our fate for the next 2/3/4 years. Or maybe not....
Fortunately, I've devised a devious, seemingly ingenious and quite frankly, downright stupendous idea that'll have us all doing our favourite job before you can say "Half-pint please!"
YEAHES!....thats right, I've only gone thought up my own university haven't I. And it's a damn sight better then this Oxford....Cambridge....Oxbridge business I've been hearing about. This ladies and gentlemen, IS MIKELAR UNIVERSITY!!!! ('m-uni' (pronounced mun-ee) for short)
I've even written a prospectus for it, Take a look, I think you'll be impressed:
YEAR 1:
We take you on a whirlwind tour of all the basics by improving every aspect of your existing knowledge on everything. The first year should hopefully ease you into the flow of what life at m-uni is like. It will also allow you to get to grips with the building - it's in the Guinness Book of Records for being the largest space within the smallest possible area y'know. You'll also get to know your peers and those who'll be studying with you for, oh, about another 3 years! So treat them well because they might just line your bed with faeces, oh oh; rascal students, what will they do next? M-uni is also proud to be able that it offers the highest teacher:student ratio per square inch, that's an amazing 46 tutors per student body, just think of all that juicy knowledge waiting to be chomped on and there isn't a single moment when you feel like your being surrounded because m-uni offers the largest library in all of the Atlantic Ocean. 460 books spread over 800,000 square feet mean that you'll be spending a fair while looking for what you need - partly because you'll need to walk 400,000 feet to get to the French History section from the English Language section and did we mention that the floor was newly refurbished - with sand? I think not. Unless you count then. Then I think so. Which I do.
YEAR 2:
Don't worry, here at m-uni we know that you've spent all the money you brought with you on beer in the first week of the first year, so we're going to top you up, £50,000 at an incredible 50% interest rate which is 50% better then what Oxford will offer you, I'll tell you that now, for free. In terms of actually doing work in year 2 - forget it, by now our Teachers will be sick to the back teeth of seeing you so we'll fit giant holographic talking lips in your room which are roughly 150 inches by 1050 inches. These will tell you what you want to know, when you want to know it....and strangely, how you want it to be said to you (with a total of over 133 languages available).
YEAR 3:
Unfortunately, we're not planning on running for longer then 3 years because building costs so far have totalled 57 Billion US Dollars which we blew on researching and making the automatic toilet roll refillers in the men's bathroom. The good news is that, on the 3rd year, we're going to blow the whole campus up with 600,000 imperial tons of T.N.T, 40,000 tons of plastic explosive 70,000 litres of petrol, 16 H-bombs and a sparkler (which made up the other 150 US Billion dollars we were given) and we're giving you the option of staying inside when it happens so you can end it while your young. We're expecting it to go all "BUUURRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" so it should be good.
Basically, that's the plan. Once my check clears for the funding, building will get underway and we expect the site to be finished by the year 3000 where we were informed by 'Q Television' that the famous boy band 'Busted' will open the, by then, hyper-cyber-campus for us.
The best thing about this whole shin dig is that it doesn't cost diddly squat to join, you just turn up on the day in standard dress (the bouncers will filter out the trouble makers) and we'll get the party started by partaking in the infamous m-uni challenge of drinking 5 litres per milligram of body fat of our famous Vodka/Whiskey/Rum punch (which was recorded as having a Vol. of 8766% in a forensic lab in Dundee) We have told Lisa Riley to stay away but her agent said that he'll accept no responsibility, no matter how big the riot gets, for her actions.
So join the fun! And I'll see you there in my Cyber-Oxygen Tent....of love?
C U Soon!
Fortunately, I've devised a devious, seemingly ingenious and quite frankly, downright stupendous idea that'll have us all doing our favourite job before you can say "Half-pint please!"
YEAHES!....thats right, I've only gone thought up my own university haven't I. And it's a damn sight better then this Oxford....Cambridge....Oxbridge business I've been hearing about. This ladies and gentlemen, IS MIKELAR UNIVERSITY!!!! ('m-uni' (pronounced mun-ee) for short)
I've even written a prospectus for it, Take a look, I think you'll be impressed:
YEAR 1:
We take you on a whirlwind tour of all the basics by improving every aspect of your existing knowledge on everything. The first year should hopefully ease you into the flow of what life at m-uni is like. It will also allow you to get to grips with the building - it's in the Guinness Book of Records for being the largest space within the smallest possible area y'know. You'll also get to know your peers and those who'll be studying with you for, oh, about another 3 years! So treat them well because they might just line your bed with faeces, oh oh; rascal students, what will they do next? M-uni is also proud to be able that it offers the highest teacher:student ratio per square inch, that's an amazing 46 tutors per student body, just think of all that juicy knowledge waiting to be chomped on and there isn't a single moment when you feel like your being surrounded because m-uni offers the largest library in all of the Atlantic Ocean. 460 books spread over 800,000 square feet mean that you'll be spending a fair while looking for what you need - partly because you'll need to walk 400,000 feet to get to the French History section from the English Language section and did we mention that the floor was newly refurbished - with sand? I think not. Unless you count then. Then I think so. Which I do.
YEAR 2:
Don't worry, here at m-uni we know that you've spent all the money you brought with you on beer in the first week of the first year, so we're going to top you up, £50,000 at an incredible 50% interest rate which is 50% better then what Oxford will offer you, I'll tell you that now, for free. In terms of actually doing work in year 2 - forget it, by now our Teachers will be sick to the back teeth of seeing you so we'll fit giant holographic talking lips in your room which are roughly 150 inches by 1050 inches. These will tell you what you want to know, when you want to know it....and strangely, how you want it to be said to you (with a total of over 133 languages available).
YEAR 3:
Unfortunately, we're not planning on running for longer then 3 years because building costs so far have totalled 57 Billion US Dollars which we blew on researching and making the automatic toilet roll refillers in the men's bathroom. The good news is that, on the 3rd year, we're going to blow the whole campus up with 600,000 imperial tons of T.N.T, 40,000 tons of plastic explosive 70,000 litres of petrol, 16 H-bombs and a sparkler (which made up the other 150 US Billion dollars we were given) and we're giving you the option of staying inside when it happens so you can end it while your young. We're expecting it to go all "BUUURRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" so it should be good.
Basically, that's the plan. Once my check clears for the funding, building will get underway and we expect the site to be finished by the year 3000 where we were informed by 'Q Television' that the famous boy band 'Busted' will open the, by then, hyper-cyber-campus for us.
The best thing about this whole shin dig is that it doesn't cost diddly squat to join, you just turn up on the day in standard dress (the bouncers will filter out the trouble makers) and we'll get the party started by partaking in the infamous m-uni challenge of drinking 5 litres per milligram of body fat of our famous Vodka/Whiskey/Rum punch (which was recorded as having a Vol. of 8766% in a forensic lab in Dundee) We have told Lisa Riley to stay away but her agent said that he'll accept no responsibility, no matter how big the riot gets, for her actions.
So join the fun! And I'll see you there in my Cyber-Oxygen Tent....of love?
C U Soon!