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Have you ever gone on a date and wish you hadn't? If you are dating a woman and you want to get rid of her, or if you go on a date and and you want to find a quick way to get her out of your life, then follow these rules.
phone
1. Tell her you jumped at the chance to go out with her because you've never dated someone "beneath" you before.
2. Tell her you saw someone on TV who looked just like her, and her name was Miss Piggy.
3. Ask her if she's a stripper. If she doesn't get mad, but asks why, tell her because you went to a strip joint last week and saw someone who looked like her. Even Better: If you insist she's the stripper you saw at the strip joint.
4. Talk to her condescendingly and make over-generalized comments about women.
5. Keep asking her if she wants to go to a strip club on your next date. Even Better: Insist that she goes or there won't be a next date.
6. Tell her you're happy to go out with her because you're tired of dating pretty women.
7. Start talking on your cell phone for several minutes at a time and constantly make phone calls.
8. Interrupt her a lot. Even Better: Interrupt her to tell her how lucky she is to go out with you.
9. Make phone calls to your friends and tell them how you wish you were hanging with them right now.
10. Always find a way to steer the conversation back to you. All you want to talk about is you, you, you. Make her think you're self-abosorbed.
11. Tell her you're looking for a woman who will cook, clean and pick up after you. Plus, work full-time and take care of the kids' every need. Then, proceed to ask her if she can cook.
12. Tell her you're a mamma's boy.
13. Tell her you still live at home and have no plans of moving out.
14. Tell her you "love" her and ask her if she feels the same. Saying "I love you" on a first date will send them running.
15. Dig in your nose, fart, and burp a lot. Women don't like disgusting pigs.
16. Tell her you didn't have anything better to do, so you decided to go out with her. It tells her that she's not first on your list of important things.
17. Tell her you like women who pay for their own food and drink. Even Better: Tell her you like women who can pay for your food and drink.
18. Tell her she looks fat. Even Better: Tell her you like a woman with a little pouch, then proceed to grab her stomach. NOTE: You might get punched in the process.
19. Talk about your ex a lot. Tell her how good your ex treated you and how you'll never find anyone else like her. Even Better: Tell her she'll never measure up to your ex girlfriend.
20. Ask her what she does for a living, then proceed to insult the profession. For example, if she says she's a poet, tell her most poets are boring and will never succeed in life. If she says she's a writer, tell her most writers you know are low-lives who live in their parent's basement.
21. Stare at her chest and say, "Whoa, what an ironing board!"
phone
1. Tell her you jumped at the chance to go out with her because you've never dated someone "beneath" you before.
2. Tell her you saw someone on TV who looked just like her, and her name was Miss Piggy.
3. Ask her if she's a stripper. If she doesn't get mad, but asks why, tell her because you went to a strip joint last week and saw someone who looked like her. Even Better: If you insist she's the stripper you saw at the strip joint.
4. Talk to her condescendingly and make over-generalized comments about women.
5. Keep asking her if she wants to go to a strip club on your next date. Even Better: Insist that she goes or there won't be a next date.
6. Tell her you're happy to go out with her because you're tired of dating pretty women.
7. Start talking on your cell phone for several minutes at a time and constantly make phone calls.
8. Interrupt her a lot. Even Better: Interrupt her to tell her how lucky she is to go out with you.
9. Make phone calls to your friends and tell them how you wish you were hanging with them right now.
10. Always find a way to steer the conversation back to you. All you want to talk about is you, you, you. Make her think you're self-abosorbed.
11. Tell her you're looking for a woman who will cook, clean and pick up after you. Plus, work full-time and take care of the kids' every need. Then, proceed to ask her if she can cook.
12. Tell her you're a mamma's boy.
13. Tell her you still live at home and have no plans of moving out.
14. Tell her you "love" her and ask her if she feels the same. Saying "I love you" on a first date will send them running.
15. Dig in your nose, fart, and burp a lot. Women don't like disgusting pigs.
16. Tell her you didn't have anything better to do, so you decided to go out with her. It tells her that she's not first on your list of important things.
17. Tell her you like women who pay for their own food and drink. Even Better: Tell her you like women who can pay for your food and drink.
18. Tell her she looks fat. Even Better: Tell her you like a woman with a little pouch, then proceed to grab her stomach. NOTE: You might get punched in the process.
19. Talk about your ex a lot. Tell her how good your ex treated you and how you'll never find anyone else like her. Even Better: Tell her she'll never measure up to your ex girlfriend.
20. Ask her what she does for a living, then proceed to insult the profession. For example, if she says she's a poet, tell her most poets are boring and will never succeed in life. If she says she's a writer, tell her most writers you know are low-lives who live in their parent's basement.
21. Stare at her chest and say, "Whoa, what an ironing board!"
I probably say/do most of those things anyway.
Im going straight to hell.
Im going straight to hell.
Tell her "I'd rather saw my own legs off than sit and listen to another syllable come out of your mouth"
22. Play any of these songs whilst making out with her!
21. Stare at her chest and say, "Whoa, what an ironing board!"
You mean they wouldnt take it as a compliment? :D
You mean they wouldnt take it as a compliment? :D
Have you ever gone on a date and wish you hadn't? If you are dating a woman and you want to get rid of her, or if you go on a date and and you want to find a quick way to get her out of your life, then follow these rules.
phone
1. Tell her you jumped at the chance to go out with her because you've never dated someone "beneath" you before.
2. Tell her you saw someone on TV who looked just like her, and her name was Miss Piggy.
3. Ask her if she's a stripper. If she doesn't get mad, but asks why, tell her because you went to a strip joint last week and saw someone who looked like her. Even Better: If you insist she's the stripper you saw at the strip joint.
4. Talk to her condescendingly and make over-generalized comments about women.
5. Keep asking her if she wants to go to a strip club on your next date. Even Better: Insist that she goes or there won't be a next date.
6. Tell her you're happy to go out with her because you're tired of dating pretty women.
7. Start talking on your cell phone for several minutes at a time and constantly make phone calls.
8. Interrupt her a lot. Even Better: Interrupt her to tell her how lucky she is to go out with you.
9. Make phone calls to your friends and tell them how you wish you were hanging with them right now.
10. Always find a way to steer the conversation back to you. All you want to talk about is you, you, you. Make her think you're self-abosorbed.
11. Tell her you're looking for a woman who will cook, clean and pick up after you. Plus, work full-time and take care of the kids' every need. Then, proceed to ask her if she can cook.
12. Tell her you're a mamma's boy.
13. Tell her you still live at home and have no plans of moving out.
14. Tell her you "love" her and ask her if she feels the same. Saying "I love you" on a first date will send them running.
15. Dig in your nose, fart, and burp a lot. Women don't like disgusting pigs.
16. Tell her you didn't have anything better to do, so you decided to go out with her. It tells her that she's not first on your list of important things.
17. Tell her you like women who pay for their own food and drink. Even Better: Tell her you like women who can pay for your food and drink.
18. Tell her she looks fat. Even Better: Tell her you like a woman with a little pouch, then proceed to grab her stomach. NOTE: You might get punched in the process.
19. Talk about your ex a lot. Tell her how good your ex treated you and how you'll never find anyone else like her. Even Better: Tell her she'll never measure up to your ex girlfriend.
20. Ask her what she does for a living, then proceed to insult the profession. For example, if she says she's a poet, tell her most poets are boring and will never succeed in life. If she says she's a writer, tell her most writers you know are low-lives who live in their parent's basement.
21. Stare at her chest and say, "Whoa, what an ironing board!"
phone
1. Tell her you jumped at the chance to go out with her because you've never dated someone "beneath" you before.
2. Tell her you saw someone on TV who looked just like her, and her name was Miss Piggy.
3. Ask her if she's a stripper. If she doesn't get mad, but asks why, tell her because you went to a strip joint last week and saw someone who looked like her. Even Better: If you insist she's the stripper you saw at the strip joint.
4. Talk to her condescendingly and make over-generalized comments about women.
5. Keep asking her if she wants to go to a strip club on your next date. Even Better: Insist that she goes or there won't be a next date.
6. Tell her you're happy to go out with her because you're tired of dating pretty women.
7. Start talking on your cell phone for several minutes at a time and constantly make phone calls.
8. Interrupt her a lot. Even Better: Interrupt her to tell her how lucky she is to go out with you.
9. Make phone calls to your friends and tell them how you wish you were hanging with them right now.
10. Always find a way to steer the conversation back to you. All you want to talk about is you, you, you. Make her think you're self-abosorbed.
11. Tell her you're looking for a woman who will cook, clean and pick up after you. Plus, work full-time and take care of the kids' every need. Then, proceed to ask her if she can cook.
12. Tell her you're a mamma's boy.
13. Tell her you still live at home and have no plans of moving out.
14. Tell her you "love" her and ask her if she feels the same. Saying "I love you" on a first date will send them running.
15. Dig in your nose, fart, and burp a lot. Women don't like disgusting pigs.
16. Tell her you didn't have anything better to do, so you decided to go out with her. It tells her that she's not first on your list of important things.
17. Tell her you like women who pay for their own food and drink. Even Better: Tell her you like women who can pay for your food and drink.
18. Tell her she looks fat. Even Better: Tell her you like a woman with a little pouch, then proceed to grab her stomach. NOTE: You might get punched in the process.
19. Talk about your ex a lot. Tell her how good your ex treated you and how you'll never find anyone else like her. Even Better: Tell her she'll never measure up to your ex girlfriend.
20. Ask her what she does for a living, then proceed to insult the profession. For example, if she says she's a poet, tell her most poets are boring and will never succeed in life. If she says she's a writer, tell her most writers you know are low-lives who live in their parent's basement.
21. Stare at her chest and say, "Whoa, what an ironing board!"