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No-Disqualification Non-Title Match:
Rob Van Dam (AfroJoe) vs The Rock (Starlight)
Written by LL Cool TT
After that inspiring revelation that The Rock (Starlight) has turned to Buddhism to recapture the SRW championship, we come to what many in the crowd are calling potentially the bloodiest match in SRW history, although the HiAC will take some beating in that respect.
“IF YA SMEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLL, WHAT THE ROCK, COOKING!”
The crowd has exploded, right on cue! The Rock(Starlight), SRW’s first Buddhist, makes his way to the ring, sported a rather flash orange sash. This man has been so successful in his SRW career, but his train of progress was brought to a sudden end last night, when this happened:
RVD(AJ) is not moving, and neither is The Rock(Starlight), but somehow, Brock(DW) is?! Let’s take a look at the action replay:
*Action replay plays*
Van Dam moonsaulted off the cell onto his opponents, but THERE *slow motion* Van Dam hit his left knee right on The Rock’s head as he fell to the ground, probably knocking The Rock out cold.
*Back to live action*
Brock Lesnar(DW) has somehow managed to pick up The Rock(Starlight) and has rolled him gingerly into the ring. Brock too is in the ring, and now has covered the unconscious Rock:
One
Two
Three! That’s it! Brock Lesnar(DW) has beaten The Rock(Starlight) for the KOTR title, and The Rock has been eliminated! The crowd are incensed!
Finkel: “The winner of the first fall, and NEW KOTR Heavyweight Champion, The Next Big Thing, BROCK LESNAR! In consequence of this fall, The Rock has been eliminated from this match!”
The Rock(Starlight) has been eliminated, and now is being led away by some of our SRW referees. RVD(AJ) has regained some form of balance, and has rolled slowly into the ring, just as Damage Control (our crack team of EMTs and paramedics) head towards the ring with a stretcher! Brock(DW) can’t believe what he has accomplished, and now is celebrating with his newly-won title belt! RVD is still trying to stand up without support, as everyone in the arena tries to catch their breath!
That happened last night, but what will happen ton- HEY!
CRACK! RVD(Afrojoe) has snuck up behind The Rock(Starlight), cracked him over the back of the head with a chair! RVD takes aim again, with The Rock on his knees, and
SMACK! Goold Lord, RVD’s dented the chair! But he’s not done yet – The Rock(Starlight), still on his hands and knees, has the chair placed on his back, and RVD HITS A BACKFLIP PAIR OF KNEES ONTO THE CHAIR AND BACK! That’s going to be causing a tremendous amount of pain not only to The Rock’s back, but also RVD’s knees. RVD(AJ), though still manages to get to his feet, and so begins this pompous taunting. Yep, here’s the thumbs: R – V – D! SUCKS! Ha! What rebellion by the SRW fans! Nicely done!
RVD(AJ) has taken The Rock(Starlight) away from the direction of the ring, and now they make their way into the crowd. RVD is firmly in control of this match, and now he has Rocky in position for a harsh suplex onto the concrete: The Rock goes up, but manages to get on his feet! Rocky now turns RVD around, grabs the left arm, and turns it into a hammerlock; RVD reverses into one of his own, but The Rock(Starlight) is able to grab RVD(AJ)’s head, and whip him over with a snapmare, into a reverse chin lock, to which RVD replies by tilting his weight side-to-side, until he rolls to the right, sweeps away the leg of Rocky, goes for a somersault senton but misses (ouch!) and now The Rock attempts to drop an elbow but misses as well, RVD goes for a sweeping leg kick but The People’s Champ ducks down, AND HITS A DDT! And so that bizarre round of technical skill comes to an end with a crushing blow to RVD’s head! The Rock(Starlight) finally is able to remove his sash, and gets to work by choking RVD! RVD is struggling for air, but manages to escape by grabbing the sash, and flips backwards, behind The Rock! He’s gasping for more air, but still lands a few stiff kicks into the gut of Rocky, while the fans continue to berate him; the amount of hatred directed to RVD truly is amazing, but not surprising considering how he turned on the fans in such unnecessary fashion.
The Rock(Starlight) is now landing a few choice rights to RVD(AJ)’s mid-section, but RVD is able to grab Rock’s right hand, and begins to slam it into his knee mercilessly! The Rock’s hand could be being broken as we speak! Good Lord, have mercy on The Rock! RVD picks up Rock by that injured right hand, and shoves him down for a powerbomb – but The Rock manages to push RVD up, but RVD lands on his feet with The Rock still in position, and now RVD lifts Rocky again, and THERE’S THE POWERBOMB, RIGHT ON THE CONCRETE! The advantage has swung back in his favour, but for how long? Very long, if The Rock’s current position is any indication! RVD now stands by The Rock, but has his middle fingers up – I can’t believe the audacity! R – V – D, with the middle fingers! Good God, please stop this man now, and spare our eyes and ears from this gratuitous display of self-indulgence! RVD now springs up in a moonsault on The Rock, but Rocky get the knees up! The crowd start to cheer again, as The Rcok(Starlight) lands the LOW BLOW! RVD(AJ) is now on his knees, struggling to breathe after that subterranean-level shot to the groin, but The Rock shows no mercy, cinching RVD up in a suplex, and DROPS HIM ON HIS HEAD! RVD could be unconscious after The Rock just cruelly dropped RVD on his head from that height, but the fans are cheering! Quite the brutal group of fans are those at SRW Towers. The Rock, still suffering from that damaged hand, now takes RVD’s head, puts it in a headlock with the left arm, and begins to drag RVD through the bloodthirsty crowd, towards the stairwell, where they start to ascend, but Rock is grinding RVD’s forehead on the banister! RVD has now been busted open, and the fans are going crazy! They’re in a particularly dangerous area, especially for the despised RVD(AJ), but The Rock continues regardless, as they progress to the next set of steps, going through the crowd’s hail of popcorn and beer! The Rock(Starlight) carries on up the next stair-set, but RVD starts to elbow The Rock’s mid-section at the top of the stairs; Rocky counters, hooks up RVD’s leg, AND EXECUTES A RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP; ROCK AND RVD TUMBLE TO THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS! What insane offence from a Buddhist! The Rock is also now bleeding badly, and seems to have gashed his right arm as well, whereas RVD is bleeding all over his face…oh my God.
The Rock(Starlight) is now moving, but RVD(AJ) is motionless at the foot of the stairs. The Rock struggles to his feet, and gingerly picks up RVD. They head towards the edge of the balcony, which is a stupid thing to do if you’ve just fallen down a flight of stairs, but hey, those people on Jackass can do it, so why can’t our wrestlers? Rocky’s trying to lift RVD over the edge! He wants RVD to fall to the floor! But RVD resists the attempt to make him fall on his head, replying with stiff sharp elbows to the back of The Rock, until The Most Electrifying Buddhist in Sports Entertainment dropped the attack altogether. RVD is now trying to gain some momentum by throwing forearms into Rocky’s face and kicking him as well, until The Rock is eventually on the side of the edge. The Rock tries to land a People’s Punch, but RVD ducks; The Rock spins 360°, AND RVD SUPERKICKS ROCKY! Oh my God, The Rock was flipped over the edge by that, and is hanging perilously over the crowd below! RVD calls for a chair, but no-one will oblige, leading RVD steal the chair from a six year-old child! Come one, for God’s sakes! RVD takes aim, but the child’s father grabs the chair from RVD’s grasp! RVD turns around, only to be confronted by a member of Hell’s Angels! RVD tries to stand up to him; they’re nose-to-nose, but the biker headbutts RVD! The Rock is climbing up again, but RVD backs right into him, CAUSING THE ROCK TO PLUNGE DOWN TO THE CROWD BELOW! How can any man survive a 15ft drop onto solid concrete?! It also seems as though The Rock(Starlight) took out two or three members of the crowd, but RVD’s interaction with that giant biker is not over yet! The biker grabs RVD’s left leg and with it pushes RVD OVER THE BALCONY ONTO THE ROCK BELOW!
RVD(AJ) just plummeted onto the fallen Rock(Starlight), and let’s take a look at that incident again:
*Action replay*
The biker grabs the leg of RVD, throws it over the edge; RVD’s body follows over, and here we see how RVD landed; OOHH! He actually landed left-elbow first on The Rock’s damaged right hand! Good God, folks, you couldn’t have scripted that!
*Back to live action*
The crowd are genuinely concerned, although whether they’re worried only about Rocky(Starlight)’s injuries or both men’s remains to be seen. This is as hardcore as it gets, ladies and gentlemen, and I think we’ll have to stop the match right now. BUT WAIT! The Rock is moving! So is RVD! Have you ever seen such endurance in your lives? The Rock has somehow gotten to his feet, but RVD is still having to nurse that left elbow. The Rock now takes RVD by the hair, and drags him towards the ring again, but the crowd are so condensed into that small area, that I don’t know whether they’ll be able to get to the ring. The fans are trying to get a piece of each superstar, but Crowd Control isn’t having any of it! The two combatants have made it to the crowd barrier, and Rock throws the limp body of RVD over it! RVD lands on his feet however, and goes for a spinning heel kick, but The Rock ducks, and tries to jump back over the guard barrier, but RVD in turn kicks him down. Now the men have a guard barrier between them, but The Rock can still hurt RVD, and vice versa! RVD throws some weighty forearms into the face of The People’s Champion, but The Rock catches one of them, turns it into a Rock Bottom position, but there’s a guard barrier between them! The Rock hoists RVD in the air, AND DIVES OVER THE BARRIER TO LAND THE ROCK BOTTOM! ROCK BOTTOM! ROCK BOTTOM! The Rock lays on top of the fallen RVD, while referee Nick Patrick makes the count on the outside:
1
2
3! That’s it! The Rock(Starlight) has beaten the SRW Heavyweight Champion! Mercifully, none of the weapons threatened to be used were, and so we were saved the sight of too much blood, although both men were quite badly bloodied by that ridiculous tumble down the stairs. The Rock is standing tall on the top turnbuckle, injured right hand held high, as the crowd go berserk! The Rock, your new Buddhist, is the winner!
Finkel: “Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match-up, The Ro-“ What the-? RVD just grabbed the mic from Finkel, and now is threatening to address the crowd.
RVD: “Rocky, you ain’t won nothing, dude! At what point did we set foot in the ring? When did you hear the bell officially ring? This match never started! Fink, no-one’s won! Now start this damn match-up at last!”
NO! This can’t be true!
DING! DING! DING!
But it is! Oh no, the match didn’t even start, and now The Rock(Starlight) has to wrestle all over again! Good Lord, damn that RVD(AJ) to the very depths of Hades! RVD gets in the ring, and immediately assaults Rocky, who was still perched on the top turnbuckle, and now RVD sweeps away the legs of The Rock, landing on his torso, and tumbling to the outside! RVD knew exactly what he was doing! Damn it, he probably had this whole thing planned out beforehand! RVD follows The Rock to the outside, and kicks Rocky hard in the head, before CALLOUSLY STAMPING ON THE ROCK’S RIGHT HAND! Rocky is writhing in agony on the floor, while RVD stands over him: R – V – D! Yeah, we know who you are, buddy! RVD now turns to the underside of the ring, searching for something, but what could it be? Not those damned – NO! NO! We can’t allow this! RVD has a barbed-wire board!
RVD(AJ) has picked up a barbed-wire board from underneath the ring, and clearly has cruel intentions! Oh no, oh no, NO! He threw it onto the back of The Rock barbed-wire side down, and The Rock is in an incredible amount of pain! RVD drops the board, and hangs Rocky out to dry on the guard barrier; RVD picks up the board again, holds it high above his head, AND BRINGS IT DOWN ACROSS THE HEAD OF THE ROCK! Good God, no! The Rock is slumped down on the floor, but RVD doesn’t let up: he puts the board on the bloodied Samoan, barbed-wire side piercing into the skin, and goes up onto the apron. He springs onto the second rope, jumps backwards, and HITS A HUGE SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK INTO THE BOARD! The Rock screams in agony as RVD celebrates like the scumbag he is! RVD now picks The Rock up and throws him back into the ring, and proceeds to make the first cover of this real match:
1
2
NO! The Rock(Starlight) does not give up! RVD(AJ) is quickly back to work, though, as he hops out of the ring again. Surprisingly quickly, too, for someone who has recently fallen down a set of stairs and down a balcony. He’s looking under the ring for something, but hasn’t found it, so tries the next side…what could he be looking for now? He’s got something, and is having trouble pulling it out…what is it? It’s a box, but it’s long and rectangular! What’s in it? He’s opening it up now, and it’s…LIGHT STRIPS! Those fluorescent light strips that The Rock was threatening to use have been pulled out first by RVD! RVD puts the strips into the ring, where The Rock is still trying to regroup. RVD gets in the ring, and picks up the strips. He’s placing them vertically resting on the ropes, three…four, five of them now. As he checks the fruits of his labour, The Rock(Starlight) creeps up behind RVD and crushes him with a double axehandle to the back. RVD is whipped into the ropes opposite the strip lights, RVD bounces back and is given a complimentary shove by The Rock, but RVD counters and THROWS ROCKY INTO THE ROPES, THROUGH THE LIGHTS AND TO THE OUTSIDE! OH MY GAAAAAWWWWWWWD! This truly is the sickest match I’ve ever had to call! Rock’s back has been permeated by shards of glass, and RVD is celebrating! Damn him to Hades, Hell and wherever else you want to send him! The crowd are incandescent with rage at the way RVD has conducted himself throughout this match, and I’m completely with them!
The Rock(Starlight) is down and absolutely covered in blood, whereas RVD(AJ) has the crimson mask all over his face. RVD goes to the outside only to put the almost dead Rocky back into the ring, which RVD has clearly marked as his own. Rock cannot get up, but RVD has gone back to the outside, and is heading towards our announce table – he’s taken two steel chairs, and has thrown them in the direction of The Rock. Now that RVD has re-entered the ring, he is setting up the chairs opposite one another, and is now going back to the strips lights. He wouldn’t, surely? He is, he’s bridging the two chairs with strip lighting! But wait, there’s hope for The Rock, as he has caught RVD by surprise and has thrown him in the direction of the turnbuckle; RVD gets the boot up and stops from heading into the corner; Rocky runs towards RVD but RVD again gets his foot up. Rocky isn’t deterred though, and leaps onto RVD, going for the traditional 10-punch; 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 – fatal mistake! RVD grabs The Rock’s legs, and now he’s walking along, towards that light strip horror, but has he got the strength…
*OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!*
RVD POWERBOMBED THE ROCK THROUGH THE LIGHT STRIPS! Glass has shattered everywhere, and embedded itself in The Rock(Starlight)’s back! RVD(AJ) has fallen onto Rocky, and this match is over:
1
2
NO! How the hell did he do that! The Rock(Starlight) actually twisted on his shoulders and upper-back to escape, thereby grinding more of the glass into his back! Oh God, the humanity! RVD is in a bad enough condition himself, but The Rock may be permanently damaged! RVD gets up slowly but surely, and finds himself another barbed-wire board. RVD gets the barbed-wire board in the centre of the ring, not far from the scene of the previous crime against humanity, and picks The Rock back up. He’s not sure what to do, but – WAIT! ROCK BOTTOM ON THE BARBED-WIRE BOARD BY THE ROCK! Where the hell did he get that from? But Rocky(Starlight) landed some broken glass, and it went into his face, while RVD now has his hair severely caught up the barbed-wire.
Both men have been down for five full minutes, but now The Rock(Starlight) is turning very slowly towards the pompous a8s, RVD(AJ). RVD has also come to his sense to a certain extent, though, and is feverishly kicking out at Rocky’s attempts to pin him. The barbed-wire is still wrapped up in RVD’s hair, though, and so RVD can’t really see anything. Even so, RVD has managed to get up, due to the conditioning from wrestling in ECW for so long, and has taken the other barbed-wire board from the mat, and it wedging it in between the top and second turnbuckles of one of the corners. The Rock is picked up, but he has virtually no strength left in him, even the adrenaline has leaked from the numerous punctures in his body. RVD does get The Rock up though, AND WHIPS HIM INTO THE WEDGED BARBED-WIRE BOARD! The as-yet un-lacerated chest of The Rock has been cut open, and now Rocky(Starlight) has fallen backwards, feet facing the corner. Van Dam(AJ) has seen this, and is now removing the wedged board and places on the right hand of The Rock! No, this can’t be! RVD has leapt up to the top rope, and is getting ready…FIVE-STAR FROG SPLASH! GOOD GOD NO! Van Dam’s left knee came down across the barbed-wire board, but the right knee crushed the trachea of The Rock! Good God, this must be all:
1
2
3! Damn it! RVD(AJ) has won this match, and The Rock(Starlight) may never even wrestle again! We may have seen the last match of The Rock right here tonight, all thanks to that damned RVD!
Finkel: “The winner of this match…the Undisputed SRW Heavyweight Champion…Rob – Van – Dam!”
*BBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!*
The crowd don’t want to hear, and neither do I, but RVD(AJ) has won this match!
Post Match Notes:
It took 143 minutes to remove the barbed-wire board from RVD(AJ)’s hair, without shaving it all off.
The Rock(STARLIGHT)’s condition has remained undisclosed, apart from the fact that 8 bones in his right hand were broken. The number of stitches or staples necessary has not been released, but a statement on whether he will be able to wrestle again will be made shortly.
***
As hardcore a match as I have written, and I hoped that it cut the mustard. The Rock(Starlight) will be back soon, but not right away. RVD was also injured, so it looks like something other than a match to keep on building this feud next week.
Rob Van Dam (AfroJoe) vs The Rock (Starlight)
Written by LL Cool TT
After that inspiring revelation that The Rock (Starlight) has turned to Buddhism to recapture the SRW championship, we come to what many in the crowd are calling potentially the bloodiest match in SRW history, although the HiAC will take some beating in that respect.
“IF YA SMEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLL, WHAT THE ROCK, COOKING!”
The crowd has exploded, right on cue! The Rock(Starlight), SRW’s first Buddhist, makes his way to the ring, sported a rather flash orange sash. This man has been so successful in his SRW career, but his train of progress was brought to a sudden end last night, when this happened:
RVD(AJ) is not moving, and neither is The Rock(Starlight), but somehow, Brock(DW) is?! Let’s take a look at the action replay:
*Action replay plays*
Van Dam moonsaulted off the cell onto his opponents, but THERE *slow motion* Van Dam hit his left knee right on The Rock’s head as he fell to the ground, probably knocking The Rock out cold.
*Back to live action*
Brock Lesnar(DW) has somehow managed to pick up The Rock(Starlight) and has rolled him gingerly into the ring. Brock too is in the ring, and now has covered the unconscious Rock:
One
Two
Three! That’s it! Brock Lesnar(DW) has beaten The Rock(Starlight) for the KOTR title, and The Rock has been eliminated! The crowd are incensed!
Finkel: “The winner of the first fall, and NEW KOTR Heavyweight Champion, The Next Big Thing, BROCK LESNAR! In consequence of this fall, The Rock has been eliminated from this match!”
The Rock(Starlight) has been eliminated, and now is being led away by some of our SRW referees. RVD(AJ) has regained some form of balance, and has rolled slowly into the ring, just as Damage Control (our crack team of EMTs and paramedics) head towards the ring with a stretcher! Brock(DW) can’t believe what he has accomplished, and now is celebrating with his newly-won title belt! RVD is still trying to stand up without support, as everyone in the arena tries to catch their breath!
That happened last night, but what will happen ton- HEY!
CRACK! RVD(Afrojoe) has snuck up behind The Rock(Starlight), cracked him over the back of the head with a chair! RVD takes aim again, with The Rock on his knees, and
SMACK! Goold Lord, RVD’s dented the chair! But he’s not done yet – The Rock(Starlight), still on his hands and knees, has the chair placed on his back, and RVD HITS A BACKFLIP PAIR OF KNEES ONTO THE CHAIR AND BACK! That’s going to be causing a tremendous amount of pain not only to The Rock’s back, but also RVD’s knees. RVD(AJ), though still manages to get to his feet, and so begins this pompous taunting. Yep, here’s the thumbs: R – V – D! SUCKS! Ha! What rebellion by the SRW fans! Nicely done!
RVD(AJ) has taken The Rock(Starlight) away from the direction of the ring, and now they make their way into the crowd. RVD is firmly in control of this match, and now he has Rocky in position for a harsh suplex onto the concrete: The Rock goes up, but manages to get on his feet! Rocky now turns RVD around, grabs the left arm, and turns it into a hammerlock; RVD reverses into one of his own, but The Rock(Starlight) is able to grab RVD(AJ)’s head, and whip him over with a snapmare, into a reverse chin lock, to which RVD replies by tilting his weight side-to-side, until he rolls to the right, sweeps away the leg of Rocky, goes for a somersault senton but misses (ouch!) and now The Rock attempts to drop an elbow but misses as well, RVD goes for a sweeping leg kick but The People’s Champ ducks down, AND HITS A DDT! And so that bizarre round of technical skill comes to an end with a crushing blow to RVD’s head! The Rock(Starlight) finally is able to remove his sash, and gets to work by choking RVD! RVD is struggling for air, but manages to escape by grabbing the sash, and flips backwards, behind The Rock! He’s gasping for more air, but still lands a few stiff kicks into the gut of Rocky, while the fans continue to berate him; the amount of hatred directed to RVD truly is amazing, but not surprising considering how he turned on the fans in such unnecessary fashion.
The Rock(Starlight) is now landing a few choice rights to RVD(AJ)’s mid-section, but RVD is able to grab Rock’s right hand, and begins to slam it into his knee mercilessly! The Rock’s hand could be being broken as we speak! Good Lord, have mercy on The Rock! RVD picks up Rock by that injured right hand, and shoves him down for a powerbomb – but The Rock manages to push RVD up, but RVD lands on his feet with The Rock still in position, and now RVD lifts Rocky again, and THERE’S THE POWERBOMB, RIGHT ON THE CONCRETE! The advantage has swung back in his favour, but for how long? Very long, if The Rock’s current position is any indication! RVD now stands by The Rock, but has his middle fingers up – I can’t believe the audacity! R – V – D, with the middle fingers! Good God, please stop this man now, and spare our eyes and ears from this gratuitous display of self-indulgence! RVD now springs up in a moonsault on The Rock, but Rocky get the knees up! The crowd start to cheer again, as The Rcok(Starlight) lands the LOW BLOW! RVD(AJ) is now on his knees, struggling to breathe after that subterranean-level shot to the groin, but The Rock shows no mercy, cinching RVD up in a suplex, and DROPS HIM ON HIS HEAD! RVD could be unconscious after The Rock just cruelly dropped RVD on his head from that height, but the fans are cheering! Quite the brutal group of fans are those at SRW Towers. The Rock, still suffering from that damaged hand, now takes RVD’s head, puts it in a headlock with the left arm, and begins to drag RVD through the bloodthirsty crowd, towards the stairwell, where they start to ascend, but Rock is grinding RVD’s forehead on the banister! RVD has now been busted open, and the fans are going crazy! They’re in a particularly dangerous area, especially for the despised RVD(AJ), but The Rock continues regardless, as they progress to the next set of steps, going through the crowd’s hail of popcorn and beer! The Rock(Starlight) carries on up the next stair-set, but RVD starts to elbow The Rock’s mid-section at the top of the stairs; Rocky counters, hooks up RVD’s leg, AND EXECUTES A RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP; ROCK AND RVD TUMBLE TO THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS! What insane offence from a Buddhist! The Rock is also now bleeding badly, and seems to have gashed his right arm as well, whereas RVD is bleeding all over his face…oh my God.
The Rock(Starlight) is now moving, but RVD(AJ) is motionless at the foot of the stairs. The Rock struggles to his feet, and gingerly picks up RVD. They head towards the edge of the balcony, which is a stupid thing to do if you’ve just fallen down a flight of stairs, but hey, those people on Jackass can do it, so why can’t our wrestlers? Rocky’s trying to lift RVD over the edge! He wants RVD to fall to the floor! But RVD resists the attempt to make him fall on his head, replying with stiff sharp elbows to the back of The Rock, until The Most Electrifying Buddhist in Sports Entertainment dropped the attack altogether. RVD is now trying to gain some momentum by throwing forearms into Rocky’s face and kicking him as well, until The Rock is eventually on the side of the edge. The Rock tries to land a People’s Punch, but RVD ducks; The Rock spins 360°, AND RVD SUPERKICKS ROCKY! Oh my God, The Rock was flipped over the edge by that, and is hanging perilously over the crowd below! RVD calls for a chair, but no-one will oblige, leading RVD steal the chair from a six year-old child! Come one, for God’s sakes! RVD takes aim, but the child’s father grabs the chair from RVD’s grasp! RVD turns around, only to be confronted by a member of Hell’s Angels! RVD tries to stand up to him; they’re nose-to-nose, but the biker headbutts RVD! The Rock is climbing up again, but RVD backs right into him, CAUSING THE ROCK TO PLUNGE DOWN TO THE CROWD BELOW! How can any man survive a 15ft drop onto solid concrete?! It also seems as though The Rock(Starlight) took out two or three members of the crowd, but RVD’s interaction with that giant biker is not over yet! The biker grabs RVD’s left leg and with it pushes RVD OVER THE BALCONY ONTO THE ROCK BELOW!
RVD(AJ) just plummeted onto the fallen Rock(Starlight), and let’s take a look at that incident again:
*Action replay*
The biker grabs the leg of RVD, throws it over the edge; RVD’s body follows over, and here we see how RVD landed; OOHH! He actually landed left-elbow first on The Rock’s damaged right hand! Good God, folks, you couldn’t have scripted that!
*Back to live action*
The crowd are genuinely concerned, although whether they’re worried only about Rocky(Starlight)’s injuries or both men’s remains to be seen. This is as hardcore as it gets, ladies and gentlemen, and I think we’ll have to stop the match right now. BUT WAIT! The Rock is moving! So is RVD! Have you ever seen such endurance in your lives? The Rock has somehow gotten to his feet, but RVD is still having to nurse that left elbow. The Rock now takes RVD by the hair, and drags him towards the ring again, but the crowd are so condensed into that small area, that I don’t know whether they’ll be able to get to the ring. The fans are trying to get a piece of each superstar, but Crowd Control isn’t having any of it! The two combatants have made it to the crowd barrier, and Rock throws the limp body of RVD over it! RVD lands on his feet however, and goes for a spinning heel kick, but The Rock ducks, and tries to jump back over the guard barrier, but RVD in turn kicks him down. Now the men have a guard barrier between them, but The Rock can still hurt RVD, and vice versa! RVD throws some weighty forearms into the face of The People’s Champion, but The Rock catches one of them, turns it into a Rock Bottom position, but there’s a guard barrier between them! The Rock hoists RVD in the air, AND DIVES OVER THE BARRIER TO LAND THE ROCK BOTTOM! ROCK BOTTOM! ROCK BOTTOM! The Rock lays on top of the fallen RVD, while referee Nick Patrick makes the count on the outside:
1
2
3! That’s it! The Rock(Starlight) has beaten the SRW Heavyweight Champion! Mercifully, none of the weapons threatened to be used were, and so we were saved the sight of too much blood, although both men were quite badly bloodied by that ridiculous tumble down the stairs. The Rock is standing tall on the top turnbuckle, injured right hand held high, as the crowd go berserk! The Rock, your new Buddhist, is the winner!
Finkel: “Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match-up, The Ro-“ What the-? RVD just grabbed the mic from Finkel, and now is threatening to address the crowd.
RVD: “Rocky, you ain’t won nothing, dude! At what point did we set foot in the ring? When did you hear the bell officially ring? This match never started! Fink, no-one’s won! Now start this damn match-up at last!”
NO! This can’t be true!
DING! DING! DING!
But it is! Oh no, the match didn’t even start, and now The Rock(Starlight) has to wrestle all over again! Good Lord, damn that RVD(AJ) to the very depths of Hades! RVD gets in the ring, and immediately assaults Rocky, who was still perched on the top turnbuckle, and now RVD sweeps away the legs of The Rock, landing on his torso, and tumbling to the outside! RVD knew exactly what he was doing! Damn it, he probably had this whole thing planned out beforehand! RVD follows The Rock to the outside, and kicks Rocky hard in the head, before CALLOUSLY STAMPING ON THE ROCK’S RIGHT HAND! Rocky is writhing in agony on the floor, while RVD stands over him: R – V – D! Yeah, we know who you are, buddy! RVD now turns to the underside of the ring, searching for something, but what could it be? Not those damned – NO! NO! We can’t allow this! RVD has a barbed-wire board!
RVD(AJ) has picked up a barbed-wire board from underneath the ring, and clearly has cruel intentions! Oh no, oh no, NO! He threw it onto the back of The Rock barbed-wire side down, and The Rock is in an incredible amount of pain! RVD drops the board, and hangs Rocky out to dry on the guard barrier; RVD picks up the board again, holds it high above his head, AND BRINGS IT DOWN ACROSS THE HEAD OF THE ROCK! Good God, no! The Rock is slumped down on the floor, but RVD doesn’t let up: he puts the board on the bloodied Samoan, barbed-wire side piercing into the skin, and goes up onto the apron. He springs onto the second rope, jumps backwards, and HITS A HUGE SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK INTO THE BOARD! The Rock screams in agony as RVD celebrates like the scumbag he is! RVD now picks The Rock up and throws him back into the ring, and proceeds to make the first cover of this real match:
1
2
NO! The Rock(Starlight) does not give up! RVD(AJ) is quickly back to work, though, as he hops out of the ring again. Surprisingly quickly, too, for someone who has recently fallen down a set of stairs and down a balcony. He’s looking under the ring for something, but hasn’t found it, so tries the next side…what could he be looking for now? He’s got something, and is having trouble pulling it out…what is it? It’s a box, but it’s long and rectangular! What’s in it? He’s opening it up now, and it’s…LIGHT STRIPS! Those fluorescent light strips that The Rock was threatening to use have been pulled out first by RVD! RVD puts the strips into the ring, where The Rock is still trying to regroup. RVD gets in the ring, and picks up the strips. He’s placing them vertically resting on the ropes, three…four, five of them now. As he checks the fruits of his labour, The Rock(Starlight) creeps up behind RVD and crushes him with a double axehandle to the back. RVD is whipped into the ropes opposite the strip lights, RVD bounces back and is given a complimentary shove by The Rock, but RVD counters and THROWS ROCKY INTO THE ROPES, THROUGH THE LIGHTS AND TO THE OUTSIDE! OH MY GAAAAAWWWWWWWD! This truly is the sickest match I’ve ever had to call! Rock’s back has been permeated by shards of glass, and RVD is celebrating! Damn him to Hades, Hell and wherever else you want to send him! The crowd are incandescent with rage at the way RVD has conducted himself throughout this match, and I’m completely with them!
The Rock(Starlight) is down and absolutely covered in blood, whereas RVD(AJ) has the crimson mask all over his face. RVD goes to the outside only to put the almost dead Rocky back into the ring, which RVD has clearly marked as his own. Rock cannot get up, but RVD has gone back to the outside, and is heading towards our announce table – he’s taken two steel chairs, and has thrown them in the direction of The Rock. Now that RVD has re-entered the ring, he is setting up the chairs opposite one another, and is now going back to the strips lights. He wouldn’t, surely? He is, he’s bridging the two chairs with strip lighting! But wait, there’s hope for The Rock, as he has caught RVD by surprise and has thrown him in the direction of the turnbuckle; RVD gets the boot up and stops from heading into the corner; Rocky runs towards RVD but RVD again gets his foot up. Rocky isn’t deterred though, and leaps onto RVD, going for the traditional 10-punch; 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 – fatal mistake! RVD grabs The Rock’s legs, and now he’s walking along, towards that light strip horror, but has he got the strength…
*OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!*
RVD POWERBOMBED THE ROCK THROUGH THE LIGHT STRIPS! Glass has shattered everywhere, and embedded itself in The Rock(Starlight)’s back! RVD(AJ) has fallen onto Rocky, and this match is over:
1
2
NO! How the hell did he do that! The Rock(Starlight) actually twisted on his shoulders and upper-back to escape, thereby grinding more of the glass into his back! Oh God, the humanity! RVD is in a bad enough condition himself, but The Rock may be permanently damaged! RVD gets up slowly but surely, and finds himself another barbed-wire board. RVD gets the barbed-wire board in the centre of the ring, not far from the scene of the previous crime against humanity, and picks The Rock back up. He’s not sure what to do, but – WAIT! ROCK BOTTOM ON THE BARBED-WIRE BOARD BY THE ROCK! Where the hell did he get that from? But Rocky(Starlight) landed some broken glass, and it went into his face, while RVD now has his hair severely caught up the barbed-wire.
Both men have been down for five full minutes, but now The Rock(Starlight) is turning very slowly towards the pompous a8s, RVD(AJ). RVD has also come to his sense to a certain extent, though, and is feverishly kicking out at Rocky’s attempts to pin him. The barbed-wire is still wrapped up in RVD’s hair, though, and so RVD can’t really see anything. Even so, RVD has managed to get up, due to the conditioning from wrestling in ECW for so long, and has taken the other barbed-wire board from the mat, and it wedging it in between the top and second turnbuckles of one of the corners. The Rock is picked up, but he has virtually no strength left in him, even the adrenaline has leaked from the numerous punctures in his body. RVD does get The Rock up though, AND WHIPS HIM INTO THE WEDGED BARBED-WIRE BOARD! The as-yet un-lacerated chest of The Rock has been cut open, and now Rocky(Starlight) has fallen backwards, feet facing the corner. Van Dam(AJ) has seen this, and is now removing the wedged board and places on the right hand of The Rock! No, this can’t be! RVD has leapt up to the top rope, and is getting ready…FIVE-STAR FROG SPLASH! GOOD GOD NO! Van Dam’s left knee came down across the barbed-wire board, but the right knee crushed the trachea of The Rock! Good God, this must be all:
1
2
3! Damn it! RVD(AJ) has won this match, and The Rock(Starlight) may never even wrestle again! We may have seen the last match of The Rock right here tonight, all thanks to that damned RVD!
Finkel: “The winner of this match…the Undisputed SRW Heavyweight Champion…Rob – Van – Dam!”
*BBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!*
The crowd don’t want to hear, and neither do I, but RVD(AJ) has won this match!
Post Match Notes:
It took 143 minutes to remove the barbed-wire board from RVD(AJ)’s hair, without shaving it all off.
The Rock(STARLIGHT)’s condition has remained undisclosed, apart from the fact that 8 bones in his right hand were broken. The number of stitches or staples necessary has not been released, but a statement on whether he will be able to wrestle again will be made shortly.
***
As hardcore a match as I have written, and I hoped that it cut the mustard. The Rock(Starlight) will be back soon, but not right away. RVD was also injured, so it looks like something other than a match to keep on building this feud next week.
WOAH! Another match like that and the Rock or RVD will probably need to be fed food through a tube.
Great stuff though, I was knackered reading it ;)
Well done AJ (I suppose) :)
Good stuff LL
Great stuff though, I was knackered reading it ;)
Well done AJ (I suppose) :)
Good stuff LL
I liked the way that match was written - not only did it give us brutality and carnage, but it was full of surprises too.
I was really surprised half way through the match - I thought I'd lost when The Rock got the 3 count, only for the match to actually be started - very creative, LL.
Well done me, on yet another victory. Oh yes. :-)
I was really surprised half way through the match - I thought I'd lost when The Rock got the 3 count, only for the match to actually be started - very creative, LL.
Well done me, on yet another victory. Oh yes. :-)
Damn that was Brutal! Im sure we haven't seen the last of that feud as it continues to boil every week.
Superb match by the way LL Cool TT.
Superb match by the way LL Cool TT.
I prefer comeical Hardcore matches myself but as Hardcore matches go, that was brutality at its fineness. The Rock and RVD haven't finished with each other yet.
BBBRRRUUUTTTAAAALLL! :D
That match had bloody everything LL Cool TT, another PPV-class match-up. Everything was great, from the R - V - D with the middle fingers, the great use of crowd interaction, the Hell's Angel causing them to both fall 15ft to the concrete without the match even starting, Rock (Starlight) twice going through the light strips, the barbed-wire board and basically the unbelievable brutality of that hardcore match.
It'll be interesting to see how Rock (Starlight) responds if he actually can after that, and can anyone actually beat the SRW Champion?
I look forward to what happens between these two in the next few weeks, and congrats to AJ on another victory.
That match had bloody everything LL Cool TT, another PPV-class match-up. Everything was great, from the R - V - D with the middle fingers, the great use of crowd interaction, the Hell's Angel causing them to both fall 15ft to the concrete without the match even starting, Rock (Starlight) twice going through the light strips, the barbed-wire board and basically the unbelievable brutality of that hardcore match.
It'll be interesting to see how Rock (Starlight) responds if he actually can after that, and can anyone actually beat the SRW Champion?
I look forward to what happens between these two in the next few weeks, and congrats to AJ on another victory.
No-Disqualification Non-Title Match:
Rob Van Dam (AfroJoe) vs The Rock (Starlight)
Written by LL Cool TT
After that inspiring revelation that The Rock (Starlight) has turned to Buddhism to recapture the SRW championship, we come to what many in the crowd are calling potentially the bloodiest match in SRW history, although the HiAC will take some beating in that respect.
“IF YA SMEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLL, WHAT THE ROCK, COOKING!”
The crowd has exploded, right on cue! The Rock(Starlight), SRW’s first Buddhist, makes his way to the ring, sported a rather flash orange sash. This man has been so successful in his SRW career, but his train of progress was brought to a sudden end last night, when this happened:
RVD(AJ) is not moving, and neither is The Rock(Starlight), but somehow, Brock(DW) is?! Let’s take a look at the action replay:
*Action replay plays*
Van Dam moonsaulted off the cell onto his opponents, but THERE *slow motion* Van Dam hit his left knee right on The Rock’s head as he fell to the ground, probably knocking The Rock out cold.
*Back to live action*
Brock Lesnar(DW) has somehow managed to pick up The Rock(Starlight) and has rolled him gingerly into the ring. Brock too is in the ring, and now has covered the unconscious Rock:
One
Two
Three! That’s it! Brock Lesnar(DW) has beaten The Rock(Starlight) for the KOTR title, and The Rock has been eliminated! The crowd are incensed!
Finkel: “The winner of the first fall, and NEW KOTR Heavyweight Champion, The Next Big Thing, BROCK LESNAR! In consequence of this fall, The Rock has been eliminated from this match!”
The Rock(Starlight) has been eliminated, and now is being led away by some of our SRW referees. RVD(AJ) has regained some form of balance, and has rolled slowly into the ring, just as Damage Control (our crack team of EMTs and paramedics) head towards the ring with a stretcher! Brock(DW) can’t believe what he has accomplished, and now is celebrating with his newly-won title belt! RVD is still trying to stand up without support, as everyone in the arena tries to catch their breath!
That happened last night, but what will happen ton- HEY!
CRACK! RVD(Afrojoe) has snuck up behind The Rock(Starlight), cracked him over the back of the head with a chair! RVD takes aim again, with The Rock on his knees, and
SMACK! Goold Lord, RVD’s dented the chair! But he’s not done yet – The Rock(Starlight), still on his hands and knees, has the chair placed on his back, and RVD HITS A BACKFLIP PAIR OF KNEES ONTO THE CHAIR AND BACK! That’s going to be causing a tremendous amount of pain not only to The Rock’s back, but also RVD’s knees. RVD(AJ), though still manages to get to his feet, and so begins this pompous taunting. Yep, here’s the thumbs: R – V – D! SUCKS! Ha! What rebellion by the SRW fans! Nicely done!
RVD(AJ) has taken The Rock(Starlight) away from the direction of the ring, and now they make their way into the crowd. RVD is firmly in control of this match, and now he has Rocky in position for a harsh suplex onto the concrete: The Rock goes up, but manages to get on his feet! Rocky now turns RVD around, grabs the left arm, and turns it into a hammerlock; RVD reverses into one of his own, but The Rock(Starlight) is able to grab RVD(AJ)’s head, and whip him over with a snapmare, into a reverse chin lock, to which RVD replies by tilting his weight side-to-side, until he rolls to the right, sweeps away the leg of Rocky, goes for a somersault senton but misses (ouch!) and now The Rock attempts to drop an elbow but misses as well, RVD goes for a sweeping leg kick but The People’s Champ ducks down, AND HITS A DDT! And so that bizarre round of technical skill comes to an end with a crushing blow to RVD’s head! The Rock(Starlight) finally is able to remove his sash, and gets to work by choking RVD! RVD is struggling for air, but manages to escape by grabbing the sash, and flips backwards, behind The Rock! He’s gasping for more air, but still lands a few stiff kicks into the gut of Rocky, while the fans continue to berate him; the amount of hatred directed to RVD truly is amazing, but not surprising considering how he turned on the fans in such unnecessary fashion.
The Rock(Starlight) is now landing a few choice rights to RVD(AJ)’s mid-section, but RVD is able to grab Rock’s right hand, and begins to slam it into his knee mercilessly! The Rock’s hand could be being broken as we speak! Good Lord, have mercy on The Rock! RVD picks up Rock by that injured right hand, and shoves him down for a powerbomb – but The Rock manages to push RVD up, but RVD lands on his feet with The Rock still in position, and now RVD lifts Rocky again, and THERE’S THE POWERBOMB, RIGHT ON THE CONCRETE! The advantage has swung back in his favour, but for how long? Very long, if The Rock’s current position is any indication! RVD now stands by The Rock, but has his middle fingers up – I can’t believe the audacity! R – V – D, with the middle fingers! Good God, please stop this man now, and spare our eyes and ears from this gratuitous display of self-indulgence! RVD now springs up in a moonsault on The Rock, but Rocky get the knees up! The crowd start to cheer again, as The Rcok(Starlight) lands the LOW BLOW! RVD(AJ) is now on his knees, struggling to breathe after that subterranean-level shot to the groin, but The Rock shows no mercy, cinching RVD up in a suplex, and DROPS HIM ON HIS HEAD! RVD could be unconscious after The Rock just cruelly dropped RVD on his head from that height, but the fans are cheering! Quite the brutal group of fans are those at SRW Towers. The Rock, still suffering from that damaged hand, now takes RVD’s head, puts it in a headlock with the left arm, and begins to drag RVD through the bloodthirsty crowd, towards the stairwell, where they start to ascend, but Rock is grinding RVD’s forehead on the banister! RVD has now been busted open, and the fans are going crazy! They’re in a particularly dangerous area, especially for the despised RVD(AJ), but The Rock continues regardless, as they progress to the next set of steps, going through the crowd’s hail of popcorn and beer! The Rock(Starlight) carries on up the next stair-set, but RVD starts to elbow The Rock’s mid-section at the top of the stairs; Rocky counters, hooks up RVD’s leg, AND EXECUTES A RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP; ROCK AND RVD TUMBLE TO THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS! What insane offence from a Buddhist! The Rock is also now bleeding badly, and seems to have gashed his right arm as well, whereas RVD is bleeding all over his face…oh my God.
The Rock(Starlight) is now moving, but RVD(AJ) is motionless at the foot of the stairs. The Rock struggles to his feet, and gingerly picks up RVD. They head towards the edge of the balcony, which is a stupid thing to do if you’ve just fallen down a flight of stairs, but hey, those people on Jackass can do it, so why can’t our wrestlers? Rocky’s trying to lift RVD over the edge! He wants RVD to fall to the floor! But RVD resists the attempt to make him fall on his head, replying with stiff sharp elbows to the back of The Rock, until The Most Electrifying Buddhist in Sports Entertainment dropped the attack altogether. RVD is now trying to gain some momentum by throwing forearms into Rocky’s face and kicking him as well, until The Rock is eventually on the side of the edge. The Rock tries to land a People’s Punch, but RVD ducks; The Rock spins 360°, AND RVD SUPERKICKS ROCKY! Oh my God, The Rock was flipped over the edge by that, and is hanging perilously over the crowd below! RVD calls for a chair, but no-one will oblige, leading RVD steal the chair from a six year-old child! Come one, for God’s sakes! RVD takes aim, but the child’s father grabs the chair from RVD’s grasp! RVD turns around, only to be confronted by a member of Hell’s Angels! RVD tries to stand up to him; they’re nose-to-nose, but the biker headbutts RVD! The Rock is climbing up again, but RVD backs right into him, CAUSING THE ROCK TO PLUNGE DOWN TO THE CROWD BELOW! How can any man survive a 15ft drop onto solid concrete?! It also seems as though The Rock(Starlight) took out two or three members of the crowd, but RVD’s interaction with that giant biker is not over yet! The biker grabs RVD’s left leg and with it pushes RVD OVER THE BALCONY ONTO THE ROCK BELOW!
RVD(AJ) just plummeted onto the fallen Rock(Starlight), and let’s take a look at that incident again:
*Action replay*
The biker grabs the leg of RVD, throws it over the edge; RVD’s body follows over, and here we see how RVD landed; OOHH! He actually landed left-elbow first on The Rock’s damaged right hand! Good God, folks, you couldn’t have scripted that!
*Back to live action*
The crowd are genuinely concerned, although whether they’re worried only about Rocky(Starlight)’s injuries or both men’s remains to be seen. This is as hardcore as it gets, ladies and gentlemen, and I think we’ll have to stop the match right now. BUT WAIT! The Rock is moving! So is RVD! Have you ever seen such endurance in your lives? The Rock has somehow gotten to his feet, but RVD is still having to nurse that left elbow. The Rock now takes RVD by the hair, and drags him towards the ring again, but the crowd are so condensed into that small area, that I don’t know whether they’ll be able to get to the ring. The fans are trying to get a piece of each superstar, but Crowd Control isn’t having any of it! The two combatants have made it to the crowd barrier, and Rock throws the limp body of RVD over it! RVD lands on his feet however, and goes for a spinning heel kick, but The Rock ducks, and tries to jump back over the guard barrier, but RVD in turn kicks him down. Now the men have a guard barrier between them, but The Rock can still hurt RVD, and vice versa! RVD throws some weighty forearms into the face of The People’s Champion, but The Rock catches one of them, turns it into a Rock Bottom position, but there’s a guard barrier between them! The Rock hoists RVD in the air, AND DIVES OVER THE BARRIER TO LAND THE ROCK BOTTOM! ROCK BOTTOM! ROCK BOTTOM! The Rock lays on top of the fallen RVD, while referee Nick Patrick makes the count on the outside:
1
2
3! That’s it! The Rock(Starlight) has beaten the SRW Heavyweight Champion! Mercifully, none of the weapons threatened to be used were, and so we were saved the sight of too much blood, although both men were quite badly bloodied by that ridiculous tumble down the stairs. The Rock is standing tall on the top turnbuckle, injured right hand held high, as the crowd go berserk! The Rock, your new Buddhist, is the winner!
Finkel: “Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match-up, The Ro-“ What the-? RVD just grabbed the mic from Finkel, and now is threatening to address the crowd.
RVD: “Rocky, you ain’t won nothing, dude! At what point did we set foot in the ring? When did you hear the bell officially ring? This match never started! Fink, no-one’s won! Now start this damn match-up at last!”
NO! This can’t be true!
DING! DING! DING!
But it is! Oh no, the match didn’t even start, and now The Rock(Starlight) has to wrestle all over again! Good Lord, damn that RVD(AJ) to the very depths of Hades! RVD gets in the ring, and immediately assaults Rocky, who was still perched on the top turnbuckle, and now RVD sweeps away the legs of The Rock, landing on his torso, and tumbling to the outside! RVD knew exactly what he was doing! Damn it, he probably had this whole thing planned out beforehand! RVD follows The Rock to the outside, and kicks Rocky hard in the head, before CALLOUSLY STAMPING ON THE ROCK’S RIGHT HAND! Rocky is writhing in agony on the floor, while RVD stands over him: R – V – D! Yeah, we know who you are, buddy! RVD now turns to the underside of the ring, searching for something, but what could it be? Not those damned – NO! NO! We can’t allow this! RVD has a barbed-wire board!
RVD(AJ) has picked up a barbed-wire board from underneath the ring, and clearly has cruel intentions! Oh no, oh no, NO! He threw it onto the back of The Rock barbed-wire side down, and The Rock is in an incredible amount of pain! RVD drops the board, and hangs Rocky out to dry on the guard barrier; RVD picks up the board again, holds it high above his head, AND BRINGS IT DOWN ACROSS THE HEAD OF THE ROCK! Good God, no! The Rock is slumped down on the floor, but RVD doesn’t let up: he puts the board on the bloodied Samoan, barbed-wire side piercing into the skin, and goes up onto the apron. He springs onto the second rope, jumps backwards, and HITS A HUGE SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK INTO THE BOARD! The Rock screams in agony as RVD celebrates like the scumbag he is! RVD now picks The Rock up and throws him back into the ring, and proceeds to make the first cover of this real match:
1
2
NO! The Rock(Starlight) does not give up! RVD(AJ) is quickly back to work, though, as he hops out of the ring again. Surprisingly quickly, too, for someone who has recently fallen down a set of stairs and down a balcony. He’s looking under the ring for something, but hasn’t found it, so tries the next side…what could he be looking for now? He’s got something, and is having trouble pulling it out…what is it? It’s a box, but it’s long and rectangular! What’s in it? He’s opening it up now, and it’s…LIGHT STRIPS! Those fluorescent light strips that The Rock was threatening to use have been pulled out first by RVD! RVD puts the strips into the ring, where The Rock is still trying to regroup. RVD gets in the ring, and picks up the strips. He’s placing them vertically resting on the ropes, three…four, five of them now. As he checks the fruits of his labour, The Rock(Starlight) creeps up behind RVD and crushes him with a double axehandle to the back. RVD is whipped into the ropes opposite the strip lights, RVD bounces back and is given a complimentary shove by The Rock, but RVD counters and THROWS ROCKY INTO THE ROPES, THROUGH THE LIGHTS AND TO THE OUTSIDE! OH MY GAAAAAWWWWWWWD! This truly is the sickest match I’ve ever had to call! Rock’s back has been permeated by shards of glass, and RVD is celebrating! Damn him to Hades, Hell and wherever else you want to send him! The crowd are incandescent with rage at the way RVD has conducted himself throughout this match, and I’m completely with them!
The Rock(Starlight) is down and absolutely covered in blood, whereas RVD(AJ) has the crimson mask all over his face. RVD goes to the outside only to put the almost dead Rocky back into the ring, which RVD has clearly marked as his own. Rock cannot get up, but RVD has gone back to the outside, and is heading towards our announce table – he’s taken two steel chairs, and has thrown them in the direction of The Rock. Now that RVD has re-entered the ring, he is setting up the chairs opposite one another, and is now going back to the strips lights. He wouldn’t, surely? He is, he’s bridging the two chairs with strip lighting! But wait, there’s hope for The Rock, as he has caught RVD by surprise and has thrown him in the direction of the turnbuckle; RVD gets the boot up and stops from heading into the corner; Rocky runs towards RVD but RVD again gets his foot up. Rocky isn’t deterred though, and leaps onto RVD, going for the traditional 10-punch; 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 – fatal mistake! RVD grabs The Rock’s legs, and now he’s walking along, towards that light strip horror, but has he got the strength…
*OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!*
RVD POWERBOMBED THE ROCK THROUGH THE LIGHT STRIPS! Glass has shattered everywhere, and embedded itself in The Rock(Starlight)’s back! RVD(AJ) has fallen onto Rocky, and this match is over:
1
2
NO! How the hell did he do that! The Rock(Starlight) actually twisted on his shoulders and upper-back to escape, thereby grinding more of the glass into his back! Oh God, the humanity! RVD is in a bad enough condition himself, but The Rock may be permanently damaged! RVD gets up slowly but surely, and finds himself another barbed-wire board. RVD gets the barbed-wire board in the centre of the ring, not far from the scene of the previous crime against humanity, and picks The Rock back up. He’s not sure what to do, but – WAIT! ROCK BOTTOM ON THE BARBED-WIRE BOARD BY THE ROCK! Where the hell did he get that from? But Rocky(Starlight) landed some broken glass, and it went into his face, while RVD now has his hair severely caught up the barbed-wire.
Both men have been down for five full minutes, but now The Rock(Starlight) is turning very slowly towards the pompous a8s, RVD(AJ). RVD has also come to his sense to a certain extent, though, and is feverishly kicking out at Rocky’s attempts to pin him. The barbed-wire is still wrapped up in RVD’s hair, though, and so RVD can’t really see anything. Even so, RVD has managed to get up, due to the conditioning from wrestling in ECW for so long, and has taken the other barbed-wire board from the mat, and it wedging it in between the top and second turnbuckles of one of the corners. The Rock is picked up, but he has virtually no strength left in him, even the adrenaline has leaked from the numerous punctures in his body. RVD does get The Rock up though, AND WHIPS HIM INTO THE WEDGED BARBED-WIRE BOARD! The as-yet un-lacerated chest of The Rock has been cut open, and now Rocky(Starlight) has fallen backwards, feet facing the corner. Van Dam(AJ) has seen this, and is now removing the wedged board and places on the right hand of The Rock! No, this can’t be! RVD has leapt up to the top rope, and is getting ready…FIVE-STAR FROG SPLASH! GOOD GOD NO! Van Dam’s left knee came down across the barbed-wire board, but the right knee crushed the trachea of The Rock! Good God, this must be all:
1
2
3! Damn it! RVD(AJ) has won this match, and The Rock(Starlight) may never even wrestle again! We may have seen the last match of The Rock right here tonight, all thanks to that damned RVD!
Finkel: “The winner of this match…the Undisputed SRW Heavyweight Champion…Rob – Van – Dam!”
*BBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!*
The crowd don’t want to hear, and neither do I, but RVD(AJ) has won this match!
Post Match Notes:
It took 143 minutes to remove the barbed-wire board from RVD(AJ)’s hair, without shaving it all off.
The Rock(STARLIGHT)’s condition has remained undisclosed, apart from the fact that 8 bones in his right hand were broken. The number of stitches or staples necessary has not been released, but a statement on whether he will be able to wrestle again will be made shortly.
***
As hardcore a match as I have written, and I hoped that it cut the mustard. The Rock(Starlight) will be back soon, but not right away. RVD was also injured, so it looks like something other than a match to keep on building this feud next week.
Rob Van Dam (AfroJoe) vs The Rock (Starlight)
Written by LL Cool TT
After that inspiring revelation that The Rock (Starlight) has turned to Buddhism to recapture the SRW championship, we come to what many in the crowd are calling potentially the bloodiest match in SRW history, although the HiAC will take some beating in that respect.
“IF YA SMEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLL, WHAT THE ROCK, COOKING!”
The crowd has exploded, right on cue! The Rock(Starlight), SRW’s first Buddhist, makes his way to the ring, sported a rather flash orange sash. This man has been so successful in his SRW career, but his train of progress was brought to a sudden end last night, when this happened:
RVD(AJ) is not moving, and neither is The Rock(Starlight), but somehow, Brock(DW) is?! Let’s take a look at the action replay:
*Action replay plays*
Van Dam moonsaulted off the cell onto his opponents, but THERE *slow motion* Van Dam hit his left knee right on The Rock’s head as he fell to the ground, probably knocking The Rock out cold.
*Back to live action*
Brock Lesnar(DW) has somehow managed to pick up The Rock(Starlight) and has rolled him gingerly into the ring. Brock too is in the ring, and now has covered the unconscious Rock:
One
Two
Three! That’s it! Brock Lesnar(DW) has beaten The Rock(Starlight) for the KOTR title, and The Rock has been eliminated! The crowd are incensed!
Finkel: “The winner of the first fall, and NEW KOTR Heavyweight Champion, The Next Big Thing, BROCK LESNAR! In consequence of this fall, The Rock has been eliminated from this match!”
The Rock(Starlight) has been eliminated, and now is being led away by some of our SRW referees. RVD(AJ) has regained some form of balance, and has rolled slowly into the ring, just as Damage Control (our crack team of EMTs and paramedics) head towards the ring with a stretcher! Brock(DW) can’t believe what he has accomplished, and now is celebrating with his newly-won title belt! RVD is still trying to stand up without support, as everyone in the arena tries to catch their breath!
That happened last night, but what will happen ton- HEY!
CRACK! RVD(Afrojoe) has snuck up behind The Rock(Starlight), cracked him over the back of the head with a chair! RVD takes aim again, with The Rock on his knees, and
SMACK! Goold Lord, RVD’s dented the chair! But he’s not done yet – The Rock(Starlight), still on his hands and knees, has the chair placed on his back, and RVD HITS A BACKFLIP PAIR OF KNEES ONTO THE CHAIR AND BACK! That’s going to be causing a tremendous amount of pain not only to The Rock’s back, but also RVD’s knees. RVD(AJ), though still manages to get to his feet, and so begins this pompous taunting. Yep, here’s the thumbs: R – V – D! SUCKS! Ha! What rebellion by the SRW fans! Nicely done!
RVD(AJ) has taken The Rock(Starlight) away from the direction of the ring, and now they make their way into the crowd. RVD is firmly in control of this match, and now he has Rocky in position for a harsh suplex onto the concrete: The Rock goes up, but manages to get on his feet! Rocky now turns RVD around, grabs the left arm, and turns it into a hammerlock; RVD reverses into one of his own, but The Rock(Starlight) is able to grab RVD(AJ)’s head, and whip him over with a snapmare, into a reverse chin lock, to which RVD replies by tilting his weight side-to-side, until he rolls to the right, sweeps away the leg of Rocky, goes for a somersault senton but misses (ouch!) and now The Rock attempts to drop an elbow but misses as well, RVD goes for a sweeping leg kick but The People’s Champ ducks down, AND HITS A DDT! And so that bizarre round of technical skill comes to an end with a crushing blow to RVD’s head! The Rock(Starlight) finally is able to remove his sash, and gets to work by choking RVD! RVD is struggling for air, but manages to escape by grabbing the sash, and flips backwards, behind The Rock! He’s gasping for more air, but still lands a few stiff kicks into the gut of Rocky, while the fans continue to berate him; the amount of hatred directed to RVD truly is amazing, but not surprising considering how he turned on the fans in such unnecessary fashion.
The Rock(Starlight) is now landing a few choice rights to RVD(AJ)’s mid-section, but RVD is able to grab Rock’s right hand, and begins to slam it into his knee mercilessly! The Rock’s hand could be being broken as we speak! Good Lord, have mercy on The Rock! RVD picks up Rock by that injured right hand, and shoves him down for a powerbomb – but The Rock manages to push RVD up, but RVD lands on his feet with The Rock still in position, and now RVD lifts Rocky again, and THERE’S THE POWERBOMB, RIGHT ON THE CONCRETE! The advantage has swung back in his favour, but for how long? Very long, if The Rock’s current position is any indication! RVD now stands by The Rock, but has his middle fingers up – I can’t believe the audacity! R – V – D, with the middle fingers! Good God, please stop this man now, and spare our eyes and ears from this gratuitous display of self-indulgence! RVD now springs up in a moonsault on The Rock, but Rocky get the knees up! The crowd start to cheer again, as The Rcok(Starlight) lands the LOW BLOW! RVD(AJ) is now on his knees, struggling to breathe after that subterranean-level shot to the groin, but The Rock shows no mercy, cinching RVD up in a suplex, and DROPS HIM ON HIS HEAD! RVD could be unconscious after The Rock just cruelly dropped RVD on his head from that height, but the fans are cheering! Quite the brutal group of fans are those at SRW Towers. The Rock, still suffering from that damaged hand, now takes RVD’s head, puts it in a headlock with the left arm, and begins to drag RVD through the bloodthirsty crowd, towards the stairwell, where they start to ascend, but Rock is grinding RVD’s forehead on the banister! RVD has now been busted open, and the fans are going crazy! They’re in a particularly dangerous area, especially for the despised RVD(AJ), but The Rock continues regardless, as they progress to the next set of steps, going through the crowd’s hail of popcorn and beer! The Rock(Starlight) carries on up the next stair-set, but RVD starts to elbow The Rock’s mid-section at the top of the stairs; Rocky counters, hooks up RVD’s leg, AND EXECUTES A RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP; ROCK AND RVD TUMBLE TO THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS! What insane offence from a Buddhist! The Rock is also now bleeding badly, and seems to have gashed his right arm as well, whereas RVD is bleeding all over his face…oh my God.
The Rock(Starlight) is now moving, but RVD(AJ) is motionless at the foot of the stairs. The Rock struggles to his feet, and gingerly picks up RVD. They head towards the edge of the balcony, which is a stupid thing to do if you’ve just fallen down a flight of stairs, but hey, those people on Jackass can do it, so why can’t our wrestlers? Rocky’s trying to lift RVD over the edge! He wants RVD to fall to the floor! But RVD resists the attempt to make him fall on his head, replying with stiff sharp elbows to the back of The Rock, until The Most Electrifying Buddhist in Sports Entertainment dropped the attack altogether. RVD is now trying to gain some momentum by throwing forearms into Rocky’s face and kicking him as well, until The Rock is eventually on the side of the edge. The Rock tries to land a People’s Punch, but RVD ducks; The Rock spins 360°, AND RVD SUPERKICKS ROCKY! Oh my God, The Rock was flipped over the edge by that, and is hanging perilously over the crowd below! RVD calls for a chair, but no-one will oblige, leading RVD steal the chair from a six year-old child! Come one, for God’s sakes! RVD takes aim, but the child’s father grabs the chair from RVD’s grasp! RVD turns around, only to be confronted by a member of Hell’s Angels! RVD tries to stand up to him; they’re nose-to-nose, but the biker headbutts RVD! The Rock is climbing up again, but RVD backs right into him, CAUSING THE ROCK TO PLUNGE DOWN TO THE CROWD BELOW! How can any man survive a 15ft drop onto solid concrete?! It also seems as though The Rock(Starlight) took out two or three members of the crowd, but RVD’s interaction with that giant biker is not over yet! The biker grabs RVD’s left leg and with it pushes RVD OVER THE BALCONY ONTO THE ROCK BELOW!
RVD(AJ) just plummeted onto the fallen Rock(Starlight), and let’s take a look at that incident again:
*Action replay*
The biker grabs the leg of RVD, throws it over the edge; RVD’s body follows over, and here we see how RVD landed; OOHH! He actually landed left-elbow first on The Rock’s damaged right hand! Good God, folks, you couldn’t have scripted that!
*Back to live action*
The crowd are genuinely concerned, although whether they’re worried only about Rocky(Starlight)’s injuries or both men’s remains to be seen. This is as hardcore as it gets, ladies and gentlemen, and I think we’ll have to stop the match right now. BUT WAIT! The Rock is moving! So is RVD! Have you ever seen such endurance in your lives? The Rock has somehow gotten to his feet, but RVD is still having to nurse that left elbow. The Rock now takes RVD by the hair, and drags him towards the ring again, but the crowd are so condensed into that small area, that I don’t know whether they’ll be able to get to the ring. The fans are trying to get a piece of each superstar, but Crowd Control isn’t having any of it! The two combatants have made it to the crowd barrier, and Rock throws the limp body of RVD over it! RVD lands on his feet however, and goes for a spinning heel kick, but The Rock ducks, and tries to jump back over the guard barrier, but RVD in turn kicks him down. Now the men have a guard barrier between them, but The Rock can still hurt RVD, and vice versa! RVD throws some weighty forearms into the face of The People’s Champion, but The Rock catches one of them, turns it into a Rock Bottom position, but there’s a guard barrier between them! The Rock hoists RVD in the air, AND DIVES OVER THE BARRIER TO LAND THE ROCK BOTTOM! ROCK BOTTOM! ROCK BOTTOM! The Rock lays on top of the fallen RVD, while referee Nick Patrick makes the count on the outside:
1
2
3! That’s it! The Rock(Starlight) has beaten the SRW Heavyweight Champion! Mercifully, none of the weapons threatened to be used were, and so we were saved the sight of too much blood, although both men were quite badly bloodied by that ridiculous tumble down the stairs. The Rock is standing tall on the top turnbuckle, injured right hand held high, as the crowd go berserk! The Rock, your new Buddhist, is the winner!
Finkel: “Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match-up, The Ro-“ What the-? RVD just grabbed the mic from Finkel, and now is threatening to address the crowd.
RVD: “Rocky, you ain’t won nothing, dude! At what point did we set foot in the ring? When did you hear the bell officially ring? This match never started! Fink, no-one’s won! Now start this damn match-up at last!”
NO! This can’t be true!
DING! DING! DING!
But it is! Oh no, the match didn’t even start, and now The Rock(Starlight) has to wrestle all over again! Good Lord, damn that RVD(AJ) to the very depths of Hades! RVD gets in the ring, and immediately assaults Rocky, who was still perched on the top turnbuckle, and now RVD sweeps away the legs of The Rock, landing on his torso, and tumbling to the outside! RVD knew exactly what he was doing! Damn it, he probably had this whole thing planned out beforehand! RVD follows The Rock to the outside, and kicks Rocky hard in the head, before CALLOUSLY STAMPING ON THE ROCK’S RIGHT HAND! Rocky is writhing in agony on the floor, while RVD stands over him: R – V – D! Yeah, we know who you are, buddy! RVD now turns to the underside of the ring, searching for something, but what could it be? Not those damned – NO! NO! We can’t allow this! RVD has a barbed-wire board!
RVD(AJ) has picked up a barbed-wire board from underneath the ring, and clearly has cruel intentions! Oh no, oh no, NO! He threw it onto the back of The Rock barbed-wire side down, and The Rock is in an incredible amount of pain! RVD drops the board, and hangs Rocky out to dry on the guard barrier; RVD picks up the board again, holds it high above his head, AND BRINGS IT DOWN ACROSS THE HEAD OF THE ROCK! Good God, no! The Rock is slumped down on the floor, but RVD doesn’t let up: he puts the board on the bloodied Samoan, barbed-wire side piercing into the skin, and goes up onto the apron. He springs onto the second rope, jumps backwards, and HITS A HUGE SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK INTO THE BOARD! The Rock screams in agony as RVD celebrates like the scumbag he is! RVD now picks The Rock up and throws him back into the ring, and proceeds to make the first cover of this real match:
1
2
NO! The Rock(Starlight) does not give up! RVD(AJ) is quickly back to work, though, as he hops out of the ring again. Surprisingly quickly, too, for someone who has recently fallen down a set of stairs and down a balcony. He’s looking under the ring for something, but hasn’t found it, so tries the next side…what could he be looking for now? He’s got something, and is having trouble pulling it out…what is it? It’s a box, but it’s long and rectangular! What’s in it? He’s opening it up now, and it’s…LIGHT STRIPS! Those fluorescent light strips that The Rock was threatening to use have been pulled out first by RVD! RVD puts the strips into the ring, where The Rock is still trying to regroup. RVD gets in the ring, and picks up the strips. He’s placing them vertically resting on the ropes, three…four, five of them now. As he checks the fruits of his labour, The Rock(Starlight) creeps up behind RVD and crushes him with a double axehandle to the back. RVD is whipped into the ropes opposite the strip lights, RVD bounces back and is given a complimentary shove by The Rock, but RVD counters and THROWS ROCKY INTO THE ROPES, THROUGH THE LIGHTS AND TO THE OUTSIDE! OH MY GAAAAAWWWWWWWD! This truly is the sickest match I’ve ever had to call! Rock’s back has been permeated by shards of glass, and RVD is celebrating! Damn him to Hades, Hell and wherever else you want to send him! The crowd are incandescent with rage at the way RVD has conducted himself throughout this match, and I’m completely with them!
The Rock(Starlight) is down and absolutely covered in blood, whereas RVD(AJ) has the crimson mask all over his face. RVD goes to the outside only to put the almost dead Rocky back into the ring, which RVD has clearly marked as his own. Rock cannot get up, but RVD has gone back to the outside, and is heading towards our announce table – he’s taken two steel chairs, and has thrown them in the direction of The Rock. Now that RVD has re-entered the ring, he is setting up the chairs opposite one another, and is now going back to the strips lights. He wouldn’t, surely? He is, he’s bridging the two chairs with strip lighting! But wait, there’s hope for The Rock, as he has caught RVD by surprise and has thrown him in the direction of the turnbuckle; RVD gets the boot up and stops from heading into the corner; Rocky runs towards RVD but RVD again gets his foot up. Rocky isn’t deterred though, and leaps onto RVD, going for the traditional 10-punch; 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 – fatal mistake! RVD grabs The Rock’s legs, and now he’s walking along, towards that light strip horror, but has he got the strength…
*OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!*
RVD POWERBOMBED THE ROCK THROUGH THE LIGHT STRIPS! Glass has shattered everywhere, and embedded itself in The Rock(Starlight)’s back! RVD(AJ) has fallen onto Rocky, and this match is over:
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NO! How the hell did he do that! The Rock(Starlight) actually twisted on his shoulders and upper-back to escape, thereby grinding more of the glass into his back! Oh God, the humanity! RVD is in a bad enough condition himself, but The Rock may be permanently damaged! RVD gets up slowly but surely, and finds himself another barbed-wire board. RVD gets the barbed-wire board in the centre of the ring, not far from the scene of the previous crime against humanity, and picks The Rock back up. He’s not sure what to do, but – WAIT! ROCK BOTTOM ON THE BARBED-WIRE BOARD BY THE ROCK! Where the hell did he get that from? But Rocky(Starlight) landed some broken glass, and it went into his face, while RVD now has his hair severely caught up the barbed-wire.
Both men have been down for five full minutes, but now The Rock(Starlight) is turning very slowly towards the pompous a8s, RVD(AJ). RVD has also come to his sense to a certain extent, though, and is feverishly kicking out at Rocky’s attempts to pin him. The barbed-wire is still wrapped up in RVD’s hair, though, and so RVD can’t really see anything. Even so, RVD has managed to get up, due to the conditioning from wrestling in ECW for so long, and has taken the other barbed-wire board from the mat, and it wedging it in between the top and second turnbuckles of one of the corners. The Rock is picked up, but he has virtually no strength left in him, even the adrenaline has leaked from the numerous punctures in his body. RVD does get The Rock up though, AND WHIPS HIM INTO THE WEDGED BARBED-WIRE BOARD! The as-yet un-lacerated chest of The Rock has been cut open, and now Rocky(Starlight) has fallen backwards, feet facing the corner. Van Dam(AJ) has seen this, and is now removing the wedged board and places on the right hand of The Rock! No, this can’t be! RVD has leapt up to the top rope, and is getting ready…FIVE-STAR FROG SPLASH! GOOD GOD NO! Van Dam’s left knee came down across the barbed-wire board, but the right knee crushed the trachea of The Rock! Good God, this must be all:
1
2
3! Damn it! RVD(AJ) has won this match, and The Rock(Starlight) may never even wrestle again! We may have seen the last match of The Rock right here tonight, all thanks to that damned RVD!
Finkel: “The winner of this match…the Undisputed SRW Heavyweight Champion…Rob – Van – Dam!”
*BBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!*
The crowd don’t want to hear, and neither do I, but RVD(AJ) has won this match!
Post Match Notes:
It took 143 minutes to remove the barbed-wire board from RVD(AJ)’s hair, without shaving it all off.
The Rock(STARLIGHT)’s condition has remained undisclosed, apart from the fact that 8 bones in his right hand were broken. The number of stitches or staples necessary has not been released, but a statement on whether he will be able to wrestle again will be made shortly.
***
As hardcore a match as I have written, and I hoped that it cut the mustard. The Rock(Starlight) will be back soon, but not right away. RVD was also injured, so it looks like something other than a match to keep on building this feud next week.