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Non WWE fans world-wide will at the mere mention of American Wrestling reply with various “witty” replies, some involving the words gay or fake. Yeah it is gay but it’s not fake, the people who say this are the same people that say Santa Claus isn’t real. Complete and utter tosh.
I will tell you what is fake though, hockey! Yep hockey, a sport where men dress up in outrages costumes and put cages on their faces. The idea is to smash, bash and crash into anyone not wearing the same shirt as you, armed with a wooden stick you skate around in a high speed manner which looks like you’re constantly trying not to fall over. The stick is used to hit a puc which basically acts as a catalyst for the violence as you madly scramble over a small black piece of plastic, sounds similar to dogs chasing a rabbit at the tracks. And we have the audacity to call dogs stupid?
What I ask is how can you all believe this is real? No more real than Baseball, I mean the signals they give each other are in plain view, are you blind!? Baseball sucks anyways. Hockey is obviously fake because they wear layers of padding and get up way too quickly so it’s obvious they know how to fall, the point of splitting the game up into quarters is so they can swap move ideas and phone numbers. Ever wondered why the referee isn’t always on camera and in the thick of the action, yep that’s right he’s constantly skating over to his peers to get information on crowd mood.
The game is cheap anyway, I mean the goals move if you as much as touch them, the puc makes and unsatisfying clunk when hit rather than a pleasing thwack and there’s no way the goalkeeper can stop that ball at high speed without knowing where the player is going to hit it. Ever noticed that the majority of goals are close up scrambles by the net? Easy they’re all whispering where to move and what corer they’re tapping the ball in and of course you can’t hear all this because the monkey see, monkey do crowd are all screaming and spilling their oversized coke bottles. Long shot wonders are planned for months and only crop up in PPV events for maximum crowd response.
Want to know how traffic is directed on the rink? Ever seen one of those police films where there is a one way mirror in the investigation rooms so one side you see your reflection and the other you see straight through, well the same principle applies to the ice rink, underneath is a colony of geeks and Ross Gellars who use special magnets to pull a player to a certain location on the rink, similar to the way that you can pull a magnet with a piece of paper in-between, of course this method isn’t always at work, there is a certain amount of actual skating to be done but if a player is in the wrong or unsafe position for a head smash or body block then they will be dragged to the correct spot which is usually away from the crowd by the way so they don’t spot the technical manoeuvres to soften the blow of the hit.
Even the games themselves are fake, they’re all fixed. Rivalries are set up between teams through television and interview promos, the cups and championships are designed to separate big leaguers and the lightweights of the “sport”. Championship winners are for grudge purposes only. Transfers is a nice friendly term used for disguising heel turns, when a “new signing” scores a goal against his previous team and the crowd boo like crazy and he becomes the centre of media attention, that’s a good heel turn then. It’s better than Eastenders. Microphones are put into the players padding so there’s the emphasis of the crrrunch on impact making otherwise gentle scrapes seem hardcore bone crushing.
So there you have it, hockey is fake and the peoples elbow is obviously a serious move that would put an opponent out and could even be career threatening.
You have been reading
Starlight
I will tell you what is fake though, hockey! Yep hockey, a sport where men dress up in outrages costumes and put cages on their faces. The idea is to smash, bash and crash into anyone not wearing the same shirt as you, armed with a wooden stick you skate around in a high speed manner which looks like you’re constantly trying not to fall over. The stick is used to hit a puc which basically acts as a catalyst for the violence as you madly scramble over a small black piece of plastic, sounds similar to dogs chasing a rabbit at the tracks. And we have the audacity to call dogs stupid?
What I ask is how can you all believe this is real? No more real than Baseball, I mean the signals they give each other are in plain view, are you blind!? Baseball sucks anyways. Hockey is obviously fake because they wear layers of padding and get up way too quickly so it’s obvious they know how to fall, the point of splitting the game up into quarters is so they can swap move ideas and phone numbers. Ever wondered why the referee isn’t always on camera and in the thick of the action, yep that’s right he’s constantly skating over to his peers to get information on crowd mood.
The game is cheap anyway, I mean the goals move if you as much as touch them, the puc makes and unsatisfying clunk when hit rather than a pleasing thwack and there’s no way the goalkeeper can stop that ball at high speed without knowing where the player is going to hit it. Ever noticed that the majority of goals are close up scrambles by the net? Easy they’re all whispering where to move and what corer they’re tapping the ball in and of course you can’t hear all this because the monkey see, monkey do crowd are all screaming and spilling their oversized coke bottles. Long shot wonders are planned for months and only crop up in PPV events for maximum crowd response.
Want to know how traffic is directed on the rink? Ever seen one of those police films where there is a one way mirror in the investigation rooms so one side you see your reflection and the other you see straight through, well the same principle applies to the ice rink, underneath is a colony of geeks and Ross Gellars who use special magnets to pull a player to a certain location on the rink, similar to the way that you can pull a magnet with a piece of paper in-between, of course this method isn’t always at work, there is a certain amount of actual skating to be done but if a player is in the wrong or unsafe position for a head smash or body block then they will be dragged to the correct spot which is usually away from the crowd by the way so they don’t spot the technical manoeuvres to soften the blow of the hit.
Even the games themselves are fake, they’re all fixed. Rivalries are set up between teams through television and interview promos, the cups and championships are designed to separate big leaguers and the lightweights of the “sport”. Championship winners are for grudge purposes only. Transfers is a nice friendly term used for disguising heel turns, when a “new signing” scores a goal against his previous team and the crowd boo like crazy and he becomes the centre of media attention, that’s a good heel turn then. It’s better than Eastenders. Microphones are put into the players padding so there’s the emphasis of the crrrunch on impact making otherwise gentle scrapes seem hardcore bone crushing.
So there you have it, hockey is fake and the peoples elbow is obviously a serious move that would put an opponent out and could even be career threatening.
You have been reading
Starlight
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Austins coming back? Great..should be good to see him back in the ring..thats if this is true!
Bald headed buffoon
I hate Austin.
I have always hated Austin.
I will continue to hate Austin.
AJ - not the biggest fan of Austin.
I have always hated Austin.
I will continue to hate Austin.
AJ - not the biggest fan of Austin.
Jericho Cheated wrote:
> AUSTINS COMING BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Big deal.
> AUSTINS COMING BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Big deal.
Congy, it might have been a very valuable trumpet...
*Takes Starlight's trumpet off him, so he can stop blowing it*
Read my brilliance because one day I'm gonna be famous and you can all stand around and say ohhhh yeah I know him he was the guy off SR who wrote cool stuff.
Well done for totally missing the point. Do you want me to explain exatly what I've said? Try and think of what people say about wrestling and how it's fake then apply it to this and walla.
Starlight wrote:
> Yep hockey, a sport
> where men dress up in outrages costumes and put cages on their faces.
Im sure theres a reason for that.
Now what was it...
Hmmm...
Oh yeah! So they dont get a putt(?)lodged into their brain after it has been blasted into their head at 80mph.
> Yep hockey, a sport
> where men dress up in outrages costumes and put cages on their faces.
Im sure theres a reason for that.
Now what was it...
Hmmm...
Oh yeah! So they dont get a putt(?)lodged into their brain after it has been blasted into their head at 80mph.
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