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Popular holiday resort for pram-faced families, Center Parcs, was at the center of a huge hand-battle today between irate screaming parents and shocked male-adults over 15.
Parcs manager Mr Thrax-Benbo gave his account:
"It was about 3pm this afternoon. Everything was going well, the indoor pool complex was being used and enjoyed by many families as well as groups of singles on a beano. I had just completed by daily inspections of the kitchen when my deputy came running over. He was clearly distressed and making lots of gibberish panic noise with his mouth-hole. After a few moments, he calmed down enough to point wildly behind me. Well I'd fallen for that one before, I can tell you. But I looked anyway"
Thrax-Benbo was presented with scenes of mass-panic and destruction the likes of which have not been seen since the fateful Matthew Kelly caught-in-newsagent beating of tomorrow afternoon.
"I looked through the decorative window that overlooks the pool facility and saw throngs of angry middle-class people waving placards and shouting. Some were hyperventilating and grinning fiercely, like a lion with his head up it's own gut-funnel. No sooner had I frowned than the crowd exploded with a murder-frenzy. The targets, all males over the age of 15, were being beaten with fists, placards and some were using the locker-key fobs you put around your ankle with those rubber strap things. It was a horrendous sight. I called the police, they arrrived and deployed tear gas, attack dogs and Zena Bedawi. She was out of control, biting and trying to savage small children with her teeth. It took over an hour to restore calm, by which time 42 adult males had been killed. I can't explain what happened"
One of the angry-mob accepted being interviewed. The following has been edited from a frothing, wide-eyed rage to a suitably breathless account of today's events:
"It's terrible! I was reading The Daily Mail this morning about all them kiddy fiddlers and I was proper angry. Nobody is safe! Nobody! The day when your common or garden predatory homosexual is revealed as a possible child-toucher? It's shocking! Of course, I knew that some Albanians were living two streets over, so I went over and tried to set fire to their heads. Then? THEN?! I was watching the television, that nice Kilroy was doing an in-depth 30 show on child sex gangs. I flicked over and saw a commercial for this place. This 'Center Parcs", obviously an anagram for something dirty. And what did they advertise as a selling feature? PEDALOS! In my community! Right there on television it was, PEDALOS! So I got a mob together and we came down to sort these pedalos out proper. And we come in here and see grown men in pants, some frolicking with children in the water! It's true! PEDALOS at Center Parcs!"
Page 8,9,10 + 11 - How you can identify the pedalo menace in *your* town
Page 12,13,14 - Immigrants rape your pets and eat them.
Page 15 - Prince William is great - exclusive pics
Parcs manager Mr Thrax-Benbo gave his account:
"It was about 3pm this afternoon. Everything was going well, the indoor pool complex was being used and enjoyed by many families as well as groups of singles on a beano. I had just completed by daily inspections of the kitchen when my deputy came running over. He was clearly distressed and making lots of gibberish panic noise with his mouth-hole. After a few moments, he calmed down enough to point wildly behind me. Well I'd fallen for that one before, I can tell you. But I looked anyway"
Thrax-Benbo was presented with scenes of mass-panic and destruction the likes of which have not been seen since the fateful Matthew Kelly caught-in-newsagent beating of tomorrow afternoon.
"I looked through the decorative window that overlooks the pool facility and saw throngs of angry middle-class people waving placards and shouting. Some were hyperventilating and grinning fiercely, like a lion with his head up it's own gut-funnel. No sooner had I frowned than the crowd exploded with a murder-frenzy. The targets, all males over the age of 15, were being beaten with fists, placards and some were using the locker-key fobs you put around your ankle with those rubber strap things. It was a horrendous sight. I called the police, they arrrived and deployed tear gas, attack dogs and Zena Bedawi. She was out of control, biting and trying to savage small children with her teeth. It took over an hour to restore calm, by which time 42 adult males had been killed. I can't explain what happened"
One of the angry-mob accepted being interviewed. The following has been edited from a frothing, wide-eyed rage to a suitably breathless account of today's events:
"It's terrible! I was reading The Daily Mail this morning about all them kiddy fiddlers and I was proper angry. Nobody is safe! Nobody! The day when your common or garden predatory homosexual is revealed as a possible child-toucher? It's shocking! Of course, I knew that some Albanians were living two streets over, so I went over and tried to set fire to their heads. Then? THEN?! I was watching the television, that nice Kilroy was doing an in-depth 30 show on child sex gangs. I flicked over and saw a commercial for this place. This 'Center Parcs", obviously an anagram for something dirty. And what did they advertise as a selling feature? PEDALOS! In my community! Right there on television it was, PEDALOS! So I got a mob together and we came down to sort these pedalos out proper. And we come in here and see grown men in pants, some frolicking with children in the water! It's true! PEDALOS at Center Parcs!"
Page 8,9,10 + 11 - How you can identify the pedalo menace in *your* town
Page 12,13,14 - Immigrants rape your pets and eat them.
Page 15 - Prince William is great - exclusive pics
Popular holiday resort for pram-faced families, Center Parcs, was at the center of a huge hand-battle today between irate screaming parents and shocked male-adults over 15.
Parcs manager Mr Thrax-Benbo gave his account:
"It was about 3pm this afternoon. Everything was going well, the indoor pool complex was being used and enjoyed by many families as well as groups of singles on a beano. I had just completed by daily inspections of the kitchen when my deputy came running over. He was clearly distressed and making lots of gibberish panic noise with his mouth-hole. After a few moments, he calmed down enough to point wildly behind me. Well I'd fallen for that one before, I can tell you. But I looked anyway"
Thrax-Benbo was presented with scenes of mass-panic and destruction the likes of which have not been seen since the fateful Matthew Kelly caught-in-newsagent beating of tomorrow afternoon.
"I looked through the decorative window that overlooks the pool facility and saw throngs of angry middle-class people waving placards and shouting. Some were hyperventilating and grinning fiercely, like a lion with his head up it's own gut-funnel. No sooner had I frowned than the crowd exploded with a murder-frenzy. The targets, all males over the age of 15, were being beaten with fists, placards and some were using the locker-key fobs you put around your ankle with those rubber strap things. It was a horrendous sight. I called the police, they arrrived and deployed tear gas, attack dogs and Zena Bedawi. She was out of control, biting and trying to savage small children with her teeth. It took over an hour to restore calm, by which time 42 adult males had been killed. I can't explain what happened"
One of the angry-mob accepted being interviewed. The following has been edited from a frothing, wide-eyed rage to a suitably breathless account of today's events:
"It's terrible! I was reading The Daily Mail this morning about all them kiddy fiddlers and I was proper angry. Nobody is safe! Nobody! The day when your common or garden predatory homosexual is revealed as a possible child-toucher? It's shocking! Of course, I knew that some Albanians were living two streets over, so I went over and tried to set fire to their heads. Then? THEN?! I was watching the television, that nice Kilroy was doing an in-depth 30 show on child sex gangs. I flicked over and saw a commercial for this place. This 'Center Parcs", obviously an anagram for something dirty. And what did they advertise as a selling feature? PEDALOS! In my community! Right there on television it was, PEDALOS! So I got a mob together and we came down to sort these pedalos out proper. And we come in here and see grown men in pants, some frolicking with children in the water! It's true! PEDALOS at Center Parcs!"
Page 8,9,10 + 11 - How you can identify the pedalo menace in *your* town
Page 12,13,14 - Immigrants rape your pets and eat them.
Page 15 - Prince William is great - exclusive pics
Parcs manager Mr Thrax-Benbo gave his account:
"It was about 3pm this afternoon. Everything was going well, the indoor pool complex was being used and enjoyed by many families as well as groups of singles on a beano. I had just completed by daily inspections of the kitchen when my deputy came running over. He was clearly distressed and making lots of gibberish panic noise with his mouth-hole. After a few moments, he calmed down enough to point wildly behind me. Well I'd fallen for that one before, I can tell you. But I looked anyway"
Thrax-Benbo was presented with scenes of mass-panic and destruction the likes of which have not been seen since the fateful Matthew Kelly caught-in-newsagent beating of tomorrow afternoon.
"I looked through the decorative window that overlooks the pool facility and saw throngs of angry middle-class people waving placards and shouting. Some were hyperventilating and grinning fiercely, like a lion with his head up it's own gut-funnel. No sooner had I frowned than the crowd exploded with a murder-frenzy. The targets, all males over the age of 15, were being beaten with fists, placards and some were using the locker-key fobs you put around your ankle with those rubber strap things. It was a horrendous sight. I called the police, they arrrived and deployed tear gas, attack dogs and Zena Bedawi. She was out of control, biting and trying to savage small children with her teeth. It took over an hour to restore calm, by which time 42 adult males had been killed. I can't explain what happened"
One of the angry-mob accepted being interviewed. The following has been edited from a frothing, wide-eyed rage to a suitably breathless account of today's events:
"It's terrible! I was reading The Daily Mail this morning about all them kiddy fiddlers and I was proper angry. Nobody is safe! Nobody! The day when your common or garden predatory homosexual is revealed as a possible child-toucher? It's shocking! Of course, I knew that some Albanians were living two streets over, so I went over and tried to set fire to their heads. Then? THEN?! I was watching the television, that nice Kilroy was doing an in-depth 30 show on child sex gangs. I flicked over and saw a commercial for this place. This 'Center Parcs", obviously an anagram for something dirty. And what did they advertise as a selling feature? PEDALOS! In my community! Right there on television it was, PEDALOS! So I got a mob together and we came down to sort these pedalos out proper. And we come in here and see grown men in pants, some frolicking with children in the water! It's true! PEDALOS at Center Parcs!"
Page 8,9,10 + 11 - How you can identify the pedalo menace in *your* town
Page 12,13,14 - Immigrants rape your pets and eat them.
Page 15 - Prince William is great - exclusive pics
I'm still surprised that the Sun haven't done a "Ten things you didn't know about Paedophiles" special and then produced a list of paedoesque song titles.
"Come on Eileen"
"Schools out forever!"
"Teenage girl from Mars".
"Come on Eileen"
"Schools out forever!"
"Teenage girl from Mars".
The sagacious one wrote:
> I'm still surprised that the Sun haven't done a "Ten things you
> didn't know about Paedophiles" special and then produced a list
> of paedoesque song titles.
>
> "Come on Eileen"
>
> "Schools out forever!"
>
> "Teenage girl from Mars".
lol
Thrax-Benbo, excellent.
> I'm still surprised that the Sun haven't done a "Ten things you
> didn't know about Paedophiles" special and then produced a list
> of paedoesque song titles.
>
> "Come on Eileen"
>
> "Schools out forever!"
>
> "Teenage girl from Mars".
lol
Thrax-Benbo, excellent.
'I demand my right to "Come on Eileen", even if I have to clean up afterwards.'
- bloke in an IRC room while discussing party music with his friend.
- bloke in an IRC room while discussing party music with his friend.
Goatboy, you and your anti Daily Mail stuff is getting a bit pathetic. Just stop reading it if you hate it sooo much. I spose if you did stop reading it all of your "funny" posts would dry up..
Odin wrote:
> Goatboy, you and your anti Daily Mail stuff is getting a bit pathetic.
> Just stop reading it if you hate it sooo much. I spose if you did
> stop reading it all of your "funny" posts would dry up..
its funny because its true of the mails writing style, and their reactionary stories.
> Goatboy, you and your anti Daily Mail stuff is getting a bit pathetic.
> Just stop reading it if you hate it sooo much. I spose if you did
> stop reading it all of your "funny" posts would dry up..
its funny because its true of the mails writing style, and their reactionary stories.
The sagacious one wrote:
> I'm still surprised that the Sun haven't done a "Ten things you
> didn't know about Paedophiles" special and then produced a list
> of paedoesque song titles.
>
> "Come on Eileen"
>
> "Schools out forever!"
>
> "Teenage girl from Mars".
Actually in the Sun today they did a fake TV line up of shamed stars.
Only Pools and Corpses
Del and Rodders return...with guest star Michael Barrymore.
Honestly, that was in The Sun today, and similar such things.
> I'm still surprised that the Sun haven't done a "Ten things you
> didn't know about Paedophiles" special and then produced a list
> of paedoesque song titles.
>
> "Come on Eileen"
>
> "Schools out forever!"
>
> "Teenage girl from Mars".
Actually in the Sun today they did a fake TV line up of shamed stars.
Only Pools and Corpses
Del and Rodders return...with guest star Michael Barrymore.
Honestly, that was in The Sun today, and similar such things.
We've become quite the political satirist, haven't we? A career in Private Eye beckons...
Interesting read.
Interesting read.
Odin wrote:
> Goatboy, you and your anti Daily Mail stuff is getting a bit pathetic.
> Just stop reading it if you hate it sooo much.
---
Same applies with your good-self and my posts.
You see my name, skip it and have a happy life.
> Goatboy, you and your anti Daily Mail stuff is getting a bit pathetic.
> Just stop reading it if you hate it sooo much.
---
Same applies with your good-self and my posts.
You see my name, skip it and have a happy life.