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Heres what I've noticed about other drivers on the road...
WOMEN DRIVERS (if you can call them drivers)
They will:
1. Cut you up at every opportunity, even if you've parked they'll swerve violently in front f you without indicating
2. Read Heat magazine at the wheel as celebrity gossip is more important than living
3. Play S Club 7 on their stereo, whilst singing Rachels parts thinking they look like her so they must sound like her
4. Buy a Ford KA because they're "cute"....they're not....AND theres meant to be a second K at the end of KA
5. Blame every mistake they make on your existence or the fact that their 'due'...for what? Their exorcism?
6. Hit other cars while parking/pulling away, won't leave their details and claim "Thats what your bumpers are there for"
They won't:
1. Appear to remember anything from their driving lessons/test as it takes up vital emotional space in their brain
2. Ever let you out at a junction because their tunnel vision on the road prevents them from seeing you
3. Let you play with the stereo because you'll show off you know more than just how to press play and eject
4. Ever stop when they're meant to...The Give Way signs mean Give Way to ME
5. Get you any where on time as theres always a shoe shop sale on the way there
6. Ever read a map as they know the way...you arrive promptly on time...IF you were aiming to get there the following week
MALE DRIVERS IN HIGH POWERED JOBS
They will:
1. Drive without indicating because they're so important they're not required to by law
2. Buy a Mercedes/BMW/Jaguar as it helps them think they are "above you"
3. Will either wear a suit whilst driving or a shirt, tracksuit bottoms, white socks, and shoes
4. Think that the road is like management, well organised and to the point...but don't stick to it's rules?????
5. Listen to Celion Dion....the less said the better
6. Think putting £80 in the petrol take makes them look cool rather than stupid for spending £60 more than the rest of us do
They won't:
1. Ever let you out at a junction because their life is so important they NEED to be that 1 space ahead of you
2. Ever apologise for cutting you up on a roundabout, give way to the right doesn't apply to those with an income of £50k+
3. Think before they change lanes, their cars are built like tanks...it's either move or be moved.
4. Ever let someone cross the road, it'll slow their journey by 8 seconds, which would have catastrophic consequences for the world
5. Say thank you for letting them out as the one calorie it would burn is needed for shouting at someone for not doing THEIR work
6. Allow anyone to sit in the back of their car, that would make it look like they were the chauffeur...THE CAR IS THEIRS
O.A.P DRIVERS
They will:
1. Drive round a roundabout 33 times until they remember which exit is the one home
2. Smell like stale wee - careful if you have an accident with one - carry a gas mask so you nose will come to no harm when you get THEIR details
3. Possibly own a 3.2L litre V12 engined car, yet insist on driving at not more than 30mph...even on the motorway...
4. Or...they will Own a Lada Riva which is 15 years old, but still "looks" as good as it did when it was new...laughable really
5. Think about driving off from a junction, then go, stop after 1 metre, rethink it, decide it may not be the right way, and cut you up before realising they were right and go back and cut someone else up
6. Cut you up and wave their fist at you furiously because you had YOUR car stereo on at more than 5 decibels
They won't:
1. Take any notice of road signs as "they weren't like that in my day" - Obviously no need to take notice of them now then!
2. Eat in the car, unless it's a Worthers Original...and they won't offer you one
3. Let you out at a junction because they've parked across it, thinking it was the entrance to Tescos
4. Allow you to put a CD on if your in the car with them because all this modern music is "not right"
5. Ever Ever Ever have to pay more than £20 for their insurance...it makes me sick
6. Get pulled over by the police as they know their victim will be half deaf, halfblind, half dead, and smell of wee
With that said it'll probably take me 2hrs to get home tonight after some twerb in his "MaXed" up 1.0L Nova decides to take a corner at 70mph thinking it'll be clever...although at least they can get from A to B without being AS annoying!!!
WOMEN DRIVERS (if you can call them drivers)
They will:
1. Cut you up at every opportunity, even if you've parked they'll swerve violently in front f you without indicating
2. Read Heat magazine at the wheel as celebrity gossip is more important than living
3. Play S Club 7 on their stereo, whilst singing Rachels parts thinking they look like her so they must sound like her
4. Buy a Ford KA because they're "cute"....they're not....AND theres meant to be a second K at the end of KA
5. Blame every mistake they make on your existence or the fact that their 'due'...for what? Their exorcism?
6. Hit other cars while parking/pulling away, won't leave their details and claim "Thats what your bumpers are there for"
They won't:
1. Appear to remember anything from their driving lessons/test as it takes up vital emotional space in their brain
2. Ever let you out at a junction because their tunnel vision on the road prevents them from seeing you
3. Let you play with the stereo because you'll show off you know more than just how to press play and eject
4. Ever stop when they're meant to...The Give Way signs mean Give Way to ME
5. Get you any where on time as theres always a shoe shop sale on the way there
6. Ever read a map as they know the way...you arrive promptly on time...IF you were aiming to get there the following week
MALE DRIVERS IN HIGH POWERED JOBS
They will:
1. Drive without indicating because they're so important they're not required to by law
2. Buy a Mercedes/BMW/Jaguar as it helps them think they are "above you"
3. Will either wear a suit whilst driving or a shirt, tracksuit bottoms, white socks, and shoes
4. Think that the road is like management, well organised and to the point...but don't stick to it's rules?????
5. Listen to Celion Dion....the less said the better
6. Think putting £80 in the petrol take makes them look cool rather than stupid for spending £60 more than the rest of us do
They won't:
1. Ever let you out at a junction because their life is so important they NEED to be that 1 space ahead of you
2. Ever apologise for cutting you up on a roundabout, give way to the right doesn't apply to those with an income of £50k+
3. Think before they change lanes, their cars are built like tanks...it's either move or be moved.
4. Ever let someone cross the road, it'll slow their journey by 8 seconds, which would have catastrophic consequences for the world
5. Say thank you for letting them out as the one calorie it would burn is needed for shouting at someone for not doing THEIR work
6. Allow anyone to sit in the back of their car, that would make it look like they were the chauffeur...THE CAR IS THEIRS
O.A.P DRIVERS
They will:
1. Drive round a roundabout 33 times until they remember which exit is the one home
2. Smell like stale wee - careful if you have an accident with one - carry a gas mask so you nose will come to no harm when you get THEIR details
3. Possibly own a 3.2L litre V12 engined car, yet insist on driving at not more than 30mph...even on the motorway...
4. Or...they will Own a Lada Riva which is 15 years old, but still "looks" as good as it did when it was new...laughable really
5. Think about driving off from a junction, then go, stop after 1 metre, rethink it, decide it may not be the right way, and cut you up before realising they were right and go back and cut someone else up
6. Cut you up and wave their fist at you furiously because you had YOUR car stereo on at more than 5 decibels
They won't:
1. Take any notice of road signs as "they weren't like that in my day" - Obviously no need to take notice of them now then!
2. Eat in the car, unless it's a Worthers Original...and they won't offer you one
3. Let you out at a junction because they've parked across it, thinking it was the entrance to Tescos
4. Allow you to put a CD on if your in the car with them because all this modern music is "not right"
5. Ever Ever Ever have to pay more than £20 for their insurance...it makes me sick
6. Get pulled over by the police as they know their victim will be half deaf, halfblind, half dead, and smell of wee
With that said it'll probably take me 2hrs to get home tonight after some twerb in his "MaXed" up 1.0L Nova decides to take a corner at 70mph thinking it'll be clever...although at least they can get from A to B without being AS annoying!!!
ALL the posh old people drive the road between my town and my place of Employment at 20mph in there huge engined cars costing me money because when I am behind them and can't over take on a busy road they are costing me extra petrol money when the road is a straight national speed limit road
I had a woman in a land rover pull out in front of me as I was about to overtake her at 80 nearly killing us both and then giving ME the finger.
Boy racers in their 1 litre Novas who tear past me. then swear when I go past them later in my 1.6 Escort.
I had a woman in a land rover pull out in front of me as I was about to overtake her at 80 nearly killing us both and then giving ME the finger.
Boy racers in their 1 litre Novas who tear past me. then swear when I go past them later in my 1.6 Escort.
Mr Lover Man wrote:
> O.A.P DRIVERS
> They will:
> 1. Drive round a roundabout 33 times until they remember which exit is
> the one home
> 2. Smell like stale wee - careful if you have an accident with one -
> carry a gas mask so you nose will come to no harm when you get THEIR
> details
> 3. Possibly own a 3.2L litre V12 engined car, yet insist on driving at
> not more than 30mph...even on the motorway...
> 4. Or...they will Own a Lada Riva which is 15 years old, but still
> "looks" as good as it did when it was new...laughable
> really
> 5. Think about driving off from a junction, then go, stop after 1
> metre, rethink it, decide it may not be the right way, and cut you up
> before realising they were right and go back and cut someone else up
> 6. Cut you up and wave their fist at you furiously because you had
> YOUR car stereo on at more than 5 decibels
7. Go around a roundabout THE WRONG WAY!!!! And look like they have done nothing wrong.
> O.A.P DRIVERS
> They will:
> 1. Drive round a roundabout 33 times until they remember which exit is
> the one home
> 2. Smell like stale wee - careful if you have an accident with one -
> carry a gas mask so you nose will come to no harm when you get THEIR
> details
> 3. Possibly own a 3.2L litre V12 engined car, yet insist on driving at
> not more than 30mph...even on the motorway...
> 4. Or...they will Own a Lada Riva which is 15 years old, but still
> "looks" as good as it did when it was new...laughable
> really
> 5. Think about driving off from a junction, then go, stop after 1
> metre, rethink it, decide it may not be the right way, and cut you up
> before realising they were right and go back and cut someone else up
> 6. Cut you up and wave their fist at you furiously because you had
> YOUR car stereo on at more than 5 decibels
7. Go around a roundabout THE WRONG WAY!!!! And look like they have done nothing wrong.
Mr Lover Man wrote:
>
> Heres a sad fact for you;- Men have the most amount of accidents
> (hence why females insurance is cheaper
I always have to laugh at this whenever someone actually tries to prove women are better drivers with this 'fact'.
It's just a simple of matter of probability - if you have 10 balls in a bag, 7 are green 3 are red, which colour are you most likely to pull out? The green one of course.
Now there's more men on the roads so of course the probability of them being involved in an accident is higher than that of women. That 'fact' doesn't prove a thing, however isn't it interesting that in the tv show *Britains worst driver* 3 out of the last 4 of the contestants were women. But i better stop now as i see a mob of feminists with torches alight, carrying signs of *sexist pig* and they're chanting as well, coming towards me. Better run
>
> Heres a sad fact for you;- Men have the most amount of accidents
> (hence why females insurance is cheaper
I always have to laugh at this whenever someone actually tries to prove women are better drivers with this 'fact'.
It's just a simple of matter of probability - if you have 10 balls in a bag, 7 are green 3 are red, which colour are you most likely to pull out? The green one of course.
Now there's more men on the roads so of course the probability of them being involved in an accident is higher than that of women. That 'fact' doesn't prove a thing, however isn't it interesting that in the tv show *Britains worst driver* 3 out of the last 4 of the contestants were women. But i better stop now as i see a mob of feminists with torches alight, carrying signs of *sexist pig* and they're chanting as well, coming towards me. Better run
lalakersrule wrote:
> Stepping into the minefield of women drivers eh? Good luck soldier.
They don't scare me! Well not unless they're on a motorway, then anything could happen.
Heres a sad fact for you;- Men have the most amount of accidents (hence why females insurance is cheaper), but Women cause more accidents...it's a true fact!
> Stepping into the minefield of women drivers eh? Good luck soldier.
They don't scare me! Well not unless they're on a motorway, then anything could happen.
Heres a sad fact for you;- Men have the most amount of accidents (hence why females insurance is cheaper), but Women cause more accidents...it's a true fact!
Stepping into the minefield of women drivers eh? Good luck soldier.
Not getting involved.
(Slave drives off in his Ka...)
(Slave drives off in his Ka...)
Heres what I've noticed about other drivers on the road...
WOMEN DRIVERS (if you can call them drivers)
They will:
1. Cut you up at every opportunity, even if you've parked they'll swerve violently in front f you without indicating
2. Read Heat magazine at the wheel as celebrity gossip is more important than living
3. Play S Club 7 on their stereo, whilst singing Rachels parts thinking they look like her so they must sound like her
4. Buy a Ford KA because they're "cute"....they're not....AND theres meant to be a second K at the end of KA
5. Blame every mistake they make on your existence or the fact that their 'due'...for what? Their exorcism?
6. Hit other cars while parking/pulling away, won't leave their details and claim "Thats what your bumpers are there for"
They won't:
1. Appear to remember anything from their driving lessons/test as it takes up vital emotional space in their brain
2. Ever let you out at a junction because their tunnel vision on the road prevents them from seeing you
3. Let you play with the stereo because you'll show off you know more than just how to press play and eject
4. Ever stop when they're meant to...The Give Way signs mean Give Way to ME
5. Get you any where on time as theres always a shoe shop sale on the way there
6. Ever read a map as they know the way...you arrive promptly on time...IF you were aiming to get there the following week
MALE DRIVERS IN HIGH POWERED JOBS
They will:
1. Drive without indicating because they're so important they're not required to by law
2. Buy a Mercedes/BMW/Jaguar as it helps them think they are "above you"
3. Will either wear a suit whilst driving or a shirt, tracksuit bottoms, white socks, and shoes
4. Think that the road is like management, well organised and to the point...but don't stick to it's rules?????
5. Listen to Celion Dion....the less said the better
6. Think putting £80 in the petrol take makes them look cool rather than stupid for spending £60 more than the rest of us do
They won't:
1. Ever let you out at a junction because their life is so important they NEED to be that 1 space ahead of you
2. Ever apologise for cutting you up on a roundabout, give way to the right doesn't apply to those with an income of £50k+
3. Think before they change lanes, their cars are built like tanks...it's either move or be moved.
4. Ever let someone cross the road, it'll slow their journey by 8 seconds, which would have catastrophic consequences for the world
5. Say thank you for letting them out as the one calorie it would burn is needed for shouting at someone for not doing THEIR work
6. Allow anyone to sit in the back of their car, that would make it look like they were the chauffeur...THE CAR IS THEIRS
O.A.P DRIVERS
They will:
1. Drive round a roundabout 33 times until they remember which exit is the one home
2. Smell like stale wee - careful if you have an accident with one - carry a gas mask so you nose will come to no harm when you get THEIR details
3. Possibly own a 3.2L litre V12 engined car, yet insist on driving at not more than 30mph...even on the motorway...
4. Or...they will Own a Lada Riva which is 15 years old, but still "looks" as good as it did when it was new...laughable really
5. Think about driving off from a junction, then go, stop after 1 metre, rethink it, decide it may not be the right way, and cut you up before realising they were right and go back and cut someone else up
6. Cut you up and wave their fist at you furiously because you had YOUR car stereo on at more than 5 decibels
They won't:
1. Take any notice of road signs as "they weren't like that in my day" - Obviously no need to take notice of them now then!
2. Eat in the car, unless it's a Worthers Original...and they won't offer you one
3. Let you out at a junction because they've parked across it, thinking it was the entrance to Tescos
4. Allow you to put a CD on if your in the car with them because all this modern music is "not right"
5. Ever Ever Ever have to pay more than £20 for their insurance...it makes me sick
6. Get pulled over by the police as they know their victim will be half deaf, halfblind, half dead, and smell of wee
With that said it'll probably take me 2hrs to get home tonight after some twerb in his "MaXed" up 1.0L Nova decides to take a corner at 70mph thinking it'll be clever...although at least they can get from A to B without being AS annoying!!!
WOMEN DRIVERS (if you can call them drivers)
They will:
1. Cut you up at every opportunity, even if you've parked they'll swerve violently in front f you without indicating
2. Read Heat magazine at the wheel as celebrity gossip is more important than living
3. Play S Club 7 on their stereo, whilst singing Rachels parts thinking they look like her so they must sound like her
4. Buy a Ford KA because they're "cute"....they're not....AND theres meant to be a second K at the end of KA
5. Blame every mistake they make on your existence or the fact that their 'due'...for what? Their exorcism?
6. Hit other cars while parking/pulling away, won't leave their details and claim "Thats what your bumpers are there for"
They won't:
1. Appear to remember anything from their driving lessons/test as it takes up vital emotional space in their brain
2. Ever let you out at a junction because their tunnel vision on the road prevents them from seeing you
3. Let you play with the stereo because you'll show off you know more than just how to press play and eject
4. Ever stop when they're meant to...The Give Way signs mean Give Way to ME
5. Get you any where on time as theres always a shoe shop sale on the way there
6. Ever read a map as they know the way...you arrive promptly on time...IF you were aiming to get there the following week
MALE DRIVERS IN HIGH POWERED JOBS
They will:
1. Drive without indicating because they're so important they're not required to by law
2. Buy a Mercedes/BMW/Jaguar as it helps them think they are "above you"
3. Will either wear a suit whilst driving or a shirt, tracksuit bottoms, white socks, and shoes
4. Think that the road is like management, well organised and to the point...but don't stick to it's rules?????
5. Listen to Celion Dion....the less said the better
6. Think putting £80 in the petrol take makes them look cool rather than stupid for spending £60 more than the rest of us do
They won't:
1. Ever let you out at a junction because their life is so important they NEED to be that 1 space ahead of you
2. Ever apologise for cutting you up on a roundabout, give way to the right doesn't apply to those with an income of £50k+
3. Think before they change lanes, their cars are built like tanks...it's either move or be moved.
4. Ever let someone cross the road, it'll slow their journey by 8 seconds, which would have catastrophic consequences for the world
5. Say thank you for letting them out as the one calorie it would burn is needed for shouting at someone for not doing THEIR work
6. Allow anyone to sit in the back of their car, that would make it look like they were the chauffeur...THE CAR IS THEIRS
O.A.P DRIVERS
They will:
1. Drive round a roundabout 33 times until they remember which exit is the one home
2. Smell like stale wee - careful if you have an accident with one - carry a gas mask so you nose will come to no harm when you get THEIR details
3. Possibly own a 3.2L litre V12 engined car, yet insist on driving at not more than 30mph...even on the motorway...
4. Or...they will Own a Lada Riva which is 15 years old, but still "looks" as good as it did when it was new...laughable really
5. Think about driving off from a junction, then go, stop after 1 metre, rethink it, decide it may not be the right way, and cut you up before realising they were right and go back and cut someone else up
6. Cut you up and wave their fist at you furiously because you had YOUR car stereo on at more than 5 decibels
They won't:
1. Take any notice of road signs as "they weren't like that in my day" - Obviously no need to take notice of them now then!
2. Eat in the car, unless it's a Worthers Original...and they won't offer you one
3. Let you out at a junction because they've parked across it, thinking it was the entrance to Tescos
4. Allow you to put a CD on if your in the car with them because all this modern music is "not right"
5. Ever Ever Ever have to pay more than £20 for their insurance...it makes me sick
6. Get pulled over by the police as they know their victim will be half deaf, halfblind, half dead, and smell of wee
With that said it'll probably take me 2hrs to get home tonight after some twerb in his "MaXed" up 1.0L Nova decides to take a corner at 70mph thinking it'll be clever...although at least they can get from A to B without being AS annoying!!!