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From http://www.football365.com/All_News/ News_Features/story_53379.shtml
(Remove 1 space)
Sorry for the large C&P, but I really thought it was worth it! :-)
-----
HOULLIER'S LIVERPOOL: A 'REAL' TRANSFER TRIUMPH!
Friday January 10 2003
By Alan Tyers
Liverpool are in the news with manager Gerard Houllier loftily declaring that only supporters who travel to away games can be considered "real fans" with a right to criticise the team. Unlike lots of readers, Alan Tyers makes no claim to be a real Liverpool fan, or even a fake one, but instead humbly presents this line-up of 11 current Liverpool players signed by Gerard Houllier.
The total value of this team is a trifling £42.75million, presumably paid for with the season tickets and gate receipts of those 'not real fans' at Anfield and the merchandising dough spent by the 'not real fans' on shirts and the rest. Keep it real, Mr Houllier!
Goalkeeper
Pegguy Arphexad – Free
Intriguingly-named French goalkeeper signed from Leicester. Six appearances for Liverpool in two-and-a-half years have been six appearances too many for most fans. Had a go on loan at Stockport, briefly. Who knows how he fills his time these days?
Defenders
Veggard Heggem - £3.5million
An early Houllier signing, the Norwegian international has had no luck with injuries, missing all of last season and yet to figure in this. However, even when not injured, Heggem was at best average and at worst rotten – and did they really need to go all the way to Scandinavia for three and a half million quid's worth of that?
Abel Xavier – £800,000
Signed from Everton for what looked like a bargain £800,000, Xavier started off okay but quickly settled into being, well, dreadful. Only value to team has been in his exciting hairdo and getting up the noses of Everton fans. However, it is the Bluenoses who are laughing now.
Djimi Traore - £550,000
More or less ever-present this season, and more or less ever-rubbish. Can't defend but, cunningly, makes no effort to attack either when played at left-back. A sort of all-rounder, you might say.
Gregory Vignal - £500,000
Who, you cry? Some French no-hoper who cost half a million quid, comes the response. Has played a handful of games. Came from Montpellier. Presumably going somewhere soon, or so the fans hope.
Midfielders
Bruno Cheyrou - £3.7million
Looks very similar to another French midfielder - Zinedine Zidane. Unfortunately, doesn't play anything like him. At all. That's £3.7million of your money, non-real Liverpool fans! Cheers, Ged!
Bernard Diomede - £3million
He's French, so he must be good, reasoned Gerard, presumably. This, again, proved to be an erreur of judgement. Three million English pounds, two and a half years at the club, one league start. Not exactly the first name on the team sheet. Any team sheet.
Igor Biscan - £5.5million
Not what you'd call a fans' favourite. Again, has been at Liverpool for over two years now, making just 24 starts. £5.5million seems an awful lot for a squad player, does it not? Still, we're sure Houllier knows what he is doing. And no criticism from you Anfield-attending types!
Vladimir Smicer - £4.2million
And, God, if you're talking about players who aren't the fans' favourite, how about the much-maligned Vladimir Smicer? Perhaps the most baffling of all Houllier's pets, continued appearances from the Czech midfielder seem to be as certain as they are unsatisfying. Does he really have those Polaroids?
Forwards
Emile Heskey - £11million
Few players polarise opinion as much as the doe-eyed Liverpool and England powerhouse. Depending on your point of view, he's either a constant thorn in opponents' side who gives Liverpool a range of options or a big, tumbling lump who never scores. Liverpool fans are increasingly thinking it probably is the latter after all.
El-Hadji Diouf - £10million
Houllier paid a whopping £10million for the young Senegal man dubbed the "Serial Killer" by fans. "Serial Cheat" and "Serial Skiver" appears to be nearer the mark. Much was expected of the man who has effectively replaced Kop Legend Robert Fowler, but shockingly little has been delivered. Arguably the crowning t*rd in Houllier's transfer waterpipe.
(Remove 1 space)
Sorry for the large C&P, but I really thought it was worth it! :-)
-----
HOULLIER'S LIVERPOOL: A 'REAL' TRANSFER TRIUMPH!
Friday January 10 2003
By Alan Tyers
Liverpool are in the news with manager Gerard Houllier loftily declaring that only supporters who travel to away games can be considered "real fans" with a right to criticise the team. Unlike lots of readers, Alan Tyers makes no claim to be a real Liverpool fan, or even a fake one, but instead humbly presents this line-up of 11 current Liverpool players signed by Gerard Houllier.
The total value of this team is a trifling £42.75million, presumably paid for with the season tickets and gate receipts of those 'not real fans' at Anfield and the merchandising dough spent by the 'not real fans' on shirts and the rest. Keep it real, Mr Houllier!
Goalkeeper
Pegguy Arphexad – Free
Intriguingly-named French goalkeeper signed from Leicester. Six appearances for Liverpool in two-and-a-half years have been six appearances too many for most fans. Had a go on loan at Stockport, briefly. Who knows how he fills his time these days?
Defenders
Veggard Heggem - £3.5million
An early Houllier signing, the Norwegian international has had no luck with injuries, missing all of last season and yet to figure in this. However, even when not injured, Heggem was at best average and at worst rotten – and did they really need to go all the way to Scandinavia for three and a half million quid's worth of that?
Abel Xavier – £800,000
Signed from Everton for what looked like a bargain £800,000, Xavier started off okay but quickly settled into being, well, dreadful. Only value to team has been in his exciting hairdo and getting up the noses of Everton fans. However, it is the Bluenoses who are laughing now.
Djimi Traore - £550,000
More or less ever-present this season, and more or less ever-rubbish. Can't defend but, cunningly, makes no effort to attack either when played at left-back. A sort of all-rounder, you might say.
Gregory Vignal - £500,000
Who, you cry? Some French no-hoper who cost half a million quid, comes the response. Has played a handful of games. Came from Montpellier. Presumably going somewhere soon, or so the fans hope.
Midfielders
Bruno Cheyrou - £3.7million
Looks very similar to another French midfielder - Zinedine Zidane. Unfortunately, doesn't play anything like him. At all. That's £3.7million of your money, non-real Liverpool fans! Cheers, Ged!
Bernard Diomede - £3million
He's French, so he must be good, reasoned Gerard, presumably. This, again, proved to be an erreur of judgement. Three million English pounds, two and a half years at the club, one league start. Not exactly the first name on the team sheet. Any team sheet.
Igor Biscan - £5.5million
Not what you'd call a fans' favourite. Again, has been at Liverpool for over two years now, making just 24 starts. £5.5million seems an awful lot for a squad player, does it not? Still, we're sure Houllier knows what he is doing. And no criticism from you Anfield-attending types!
Vladimir Smicer - £4.2million
And, God, if you're talking about players who aren't the fans' favourite, how about the much-maligned Vladimir Smicer? Perhaps the most baffling of all Houllier's pets, continued appearances from the Czech midfielder seem to be as certain as they are unsatisfying. Does he really have those Polaroids?
Forwards
Emile Heskey - £11million
Few players polarise opinion as much as the doe-eyed Liverpool and England powerhouse. Depending on your point of view, he's either a constant thorn in opponents' side who gives Liverpool a range of options or a big, tumbling lump who never scores. Liverpool fans are increasingly thinking it probably is the latter after all.
El-Hadji Diouf - £10million
Houllier paid a whopping £10million for the young Senegal man dubbed the "Serial Killer" by fans. "Serial Cheat" and "Serial Skiver" appears to be nearer the mark. Much was expected of the man who has effectively replaced Kop Legend Robert Fowler, but shockingly little has been delivered. Arguably the crowning t*rd in Houllier's transfer waterpipe.
"Arguably the crowning t*rd in Houllier's transfer waterpipe."
superb
superb
Brillaint! That's all I really have to say about all-that! :D
From http://www.football365.com/All_News/ News_Features/story_53379.shtml
(Remove 1 space)
Sorry for the large C&P, but I really thought it was worth it! :-)
-----
HOULLIER'S LIVERPOOL: A 'REAL' TRANSFER TRIUMPH!
Friday January 10 2003
By Alan Tyers
Liverpool are in the news with manager Gerard Houllier loftily declaring that only supporters who travel to away games can be considered "real fans" with a right to criticise the team. Unlike lots of readers, Alan Tyers makes no claim to be a real Liverpool fan, or even a fake one, but instead humbly presents this line-up of 11 current Liverpool players signed by Gerard Houllier.
The total value of this team is a trifling £42.75million, presumably paid for with the season tickets and gate receipts of those 'not real fans' at Anfield and the merchandising dough spent by the 'not real fans' on shirts and the rest. Keep it real, Mr Houllier!
Goalkeeper
Pegguy Arphexad – Free
Intriguingly-named French goalkeeper signed from Leicester. Six appearances for Liverpool in two-and-a-half years have been six appearances too many for most fans. Had a go on loan at Stockport, briefly. Who knows how he fills his time these days?
Defenders
Veggard Heggem - £3.5million
An early Houllier signing, the Norwegian international has had no luck with injuries, missing all of last season and yet to figure in this. However, even when not injured, Heggem was at best average and at worst rotten – and did they really need to go all the way to Scandinavia for three and a half million quid's worth of that?
Abel Xavier – £800,000
Signed from Everton for what looked like a bargain £800,000, Xavier started off okay but quickly settled into being, well, dreadful. Only value to team has been in his exciting hairdo and getting up the noses of Everton fans. However, it is the Bluenoses who are laughing now.
Djimi Traore - £550,000
More or less ever-present this season, and more or less ever-rubbish. Can't defend but, cunningly, makes no effort to attack either when played at left-back. A sort of all-rounder, you might say.
Gregory Vignal - £500,000
Who, you cry? Some French no-hoper who cost half a million quid, comes the response. Has played a handful of games. Came from Montpellier. Presumably going somewhere soon, or so the fans hope.
Midfielders
Bruno Cheyrou - £3.7million
Looks very similar to another French midfielder - Zinedine Zidane. Unfortunately, doesn't play anything like him. At all. That's £3.7million of your money, non-real Liverpool fans! Cheers, Ged!
Bernard Diomede - £3million
He's French, so he must be good, reasoned Gerard, presumably. This, again, proved to be an erreur of judgement. Three million English pounds, two and a half years at the club, one league start. Not exactly the first name on the team sheet. Any team sheet.
Igor Biscan - £5.5million
Not what you'd call a fans' favourite. Again, has been at Liverpool for over two years now, making just 24 starts. £5.5million seems an awful lot for a squad player, does it not? Still, we're sure Houllier knows what he is doing. And no criticism from you Anfield-attending types!
Vladimir Smicer - £4.2million
And, God, if you're talking about players who aren't the fans' favourite, how about the much-maligned Vladimir Smicer? Perhaps the most baffling of all Houllier's pets, continued appearances from the Czech midfielder seem to be as certain as they are unsatisfying. Does he really have those Polaroids?
Forwards
Emile Heskey - £11million
Few players polarise opinion as much as the doe-eyed Liverpool and England powerhouse. Depending on your point of view, he's either a constant thorn in opponents' side who gives Liverpool a range of options or a big, tumbling lump who never scores. Liverpool fans are increasingly thinking it probably is the latter after all.
El-Hadji Diouf - £10million
Houllier paid a whopping £10million for the young Senegal man dubbed the "Serial Killer" by fans. "Serial Cheat" and "Serial Skiver" appears to be nearer the mark. Much was expected of the man who has effectively replaced Kop Legend Robert Fowler, but shockingly little has been delivered. Arguably the crowning t*rd in Houllier's transfer waterpipe.
(Remove 1 space)
Sorry for the large C&P, but I really thought it was worth it! :-)
-----
HOULLIER'S LIVERPOOL: A 'REAL' TRANSFER TRIUMPH!
Friday January 10 2003
By Alan Tyers
Liverpool are in the news with manager Gerard Houllier loftily declaring that only supporters who travel to away games can be considered "real fans" with a right to criticise the team. Unlike lots of readers, Alan Tyers makes no claim to be a real Liverpool fan, or even a fake one, but instead humbly presents this line-up of 11 current Liverpool players signed by Gerard Houllier.
The total value of this team is a trifling £42.75million, presumably paid for with the season tickets and gate receipts of those 'not real fans' at Anfield and the merchandising dough spent by the 'not real fans' on shirts and the rest. Keep it real, Mr Houllier!
Goalkeeper
Pegguy Arphexad – Free
Intriguingly-named French goalkeeper signed from Leicester. Six appearances for Liverpool in two-and-a-half years have been six appearances too many for most fans. Had a go on loan at Stockport, briefly. Who knows how he fills his time these days?
Defenders
Veggard Heggem - £3.5million
An early Houllier signing, the Norwegian international has had no luck with injuries, missing all of last season and yet to figure in this. However, even when not injured, Heggem was at best average and at worst rotten – and did they really need to go all the way to Scandinavia for three and a half million quid's worth of that?
Abel Xavier – £800,000
Signed from Everton for what looked like a bargain £800,000, Xavier started off okay but quickly settled into being, well, dreadful. Only value to team has been in his exciting hairdo and getting up the noses of Everton fans. However, it is the Bluenoses who are laughing now.
Djimi Traore - £550,000
More or less ever-present this season, and more or less ever-rubbish. Can't defend but, cunningly, makes no effort to attack either when played at left-back. A sort of all-rounder, you might say.
Gregory Vignal - £500,000
Who, you cry? Some French no-hoper who cost half a million quid, comes the response. Has played a handful of games. Came from Montpellier. Presumably going somewhere soon, or so the fans hope.
Midfielders
Bruno Cheyrou - £3.7million
Looks very similar to another French midfielder - Zinedine Zidane. Unfortunately, doesn't play anything like him. At all. That's £3.7million of your money, non-real Liverpool fans! Cheers, Ged!
Bernard Diomede - £3million
He's French, so he must be good, reasoned Gerard, presumably. This, again, proved to be an erreur of judgement. Three million English pounds, two and a half years at the club, one league start. Not exactly the first name on the team sheet. Any team sheet.
Igor Biscan - £5.5million
Not what you'd call a fans' favourite. Again, has been at Liverpool for over two years now, making just 24 starts. £5.5million seems an awful lot for a squad player, does it not? Still, we're sure Houllier knows what he is doing. And no criticism from you Anfield-attending types!
Vladimir Smicer - £4.2million
And, God, if you're talking about players who aren't the fans' favourite, how about the much-maligned Vladimir Smicer? Perhaps the most baffling of all Houllier's pets, continued appearances from the Czech midfielder seem to be as certain as they are unsatisfying. Does he really have those Polaroids?
Forwards
Emile Heskey - £11million
Few players polarise opinion as much as the doe-eyed Liverpool and England powerhouse. Depending on your point of view, he's either a constant thorn in opponents' side who gives Liverpool a range of options or a big, tumbling lump who never scores. Liverpool fans are increasingly thinking it probably is the latter after all.
El-Hadji Diouf - £10million
Houllier paid a whopping £10million for the young Senegal man dubbed the "Serial Killer" by fans. "Serial Cheat" and "Serial Skiver" appears to be nearer the mark. Much was expected of the man who has effectively replaced Kop Legend Robert Fowler, but shockingly little has been delivered. Arguably the crowning t*rd in Houllier's transfer waterpipe.