GetDotted Domains

Viewing Thread:
"The Robbery (Story)"

The "Creative Writing" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.

Sun 12/01/03 at 21:54
Regular
Posts: 787
Well, my first real story that I've posted on SR. Hurru!
It's kinda long, and I don't expect you to read it, but what the hell.
Here goes....


"You were found with a weapon in your hands, covered in blood, and three dead bodies surrounded you. You were caught red-handed, and this plays a major role in my decision. I sentence you to life imprisonment, with no chance of parole!"
The judge slammed his hammer on the desk, and there was uproar in the court.

Aaron Smith twitched as he always did when he was nervous. He sat with his handcuffs tight around his shaking wrists, telling his lawyer, over and over, "But I didn’t do it, I had nothing to with it, I swear! You’ve gotta believe me!"
"I’m sorry, I really am, there’s nothing more I can do.", replied his lawyer.

He picked up his briefcase, and started to leave, as the Security guards raised Aaron from his seat, pulling him by his bright orange jump suit.

***

Aaron was walking along the High Street in his slightly torn jeans, and black leather jacket. As he made his way towards the bank, he looked at the sky, wondering if the rain would hold for much longer. There were great bellowing grey clouds, and it would be getting dark soon, so he had to hurry.

He soon arrived at the bank, and as he was about to enter the building, he glanced to his left. Standing there was a black cat, saturated with the rain that had started very heavily. It was quietly hissing at him, and it seemed to be warning him about something. He paused for a moment, and continued into the bank. Spooked a little by this, he made his way to the cashier.

As he reached there, there was a large screeching noise outside. A grey van pulled up outside, and four men jumped out the back of it. They kicked open the main doors with a loud bang, and Aaron spun round. The four men had balaclavas on, and two were wielding pistols, while the others were clutching onto bags. Straight away, one of the gunmen looked for security cameras, and shot them out.

The tallest of the men with guns pointed everyone into one corner of the room. As they were herded into the corner, the men with bags rushed towards separate cashiers and demanded money. The woman at the cashier point where Aaron had went to seemed brave. She didn’t flinch as the robber waved the bag in her face, and just stared him in the eye. Aaron took note of this, seeing who could stand pressure. He was an ex-cop, had moved down to Washington, and knew he could do something to stop the success of the robbery.

The cashiers slowly started to fill the bags with money. The shorter of the men with guns turned to the driver of the van and nodded. It seemed to be some kind of a signal as the van screeched off, and went round the back of the bank. By this time, one of the cashiers had hit the silent alarm under the desk. Once the bags were full, they made their way to the back of the bank.

A man, in his mid 40’s, attempted to take matters into his own hands. He waited till one of the gunmen had just passed him, and quickly and agilely, he pounced on the robber. The taller of the gunmen who was further ahead, heard the commotion, and spun round. This was slowing them up, and they wanted to get away smoothly. Something had to be done. Carefully, he took aim at the man, and as he was about to fire, Aaron dived at the wrestling pair to save him. The shot was fired, and the room was filled with screaming women, and terrified men. As they fell to the floor, it was apparent someone had been hit, as blood was on the floor. The rest of the hostages took this chance. They fled the bank, every single one, and soon were safe, and had disappeared.

The gunman who fired looked stunned; obviously he hadn’t attempted to kill someone before, and he wasn’t hanging about to suffer the consequences. Aaron and the other man rose to their feet, revealing the dead body of the robber. Another of the crooks, now standing at the back door waiting on the others, saw the body, and ran towards him.

"Why the hell did you shoot him!?", he shouted in anger, "Now you’ve got that on your conscience too!"

"I....I....I didn’t mean to shoot him.....", he quietly said, in shock.

"He’s my brother man!", he bawled, now almost reduced to tears. He took of the balaclava of his brother to reveal his face. He had to see it again.

Sirens were heard in the distance, and they knew it was time to run. The man, fearing the raiders would kill him and Aaron, as they were the only witnesses, quickly escaped. The gunman turned, and stared at the cashiers. He looked livid, as they had been compromised, and it was the cashiers fault. He slowly raised his weapon, and not caring anymore, fired four rounds towards the cashiers, killing both.

"Will you guys hurry up!", shouted the other burglar, standing at the escape route, waiting.

"We’re not just gonna leave him, are we?", said the brother.

"We have to, c’mon, lets go!"

Reluctantly, the brother of the murdered robber slowly made his way out. In all the commotion, they had forgotten about Aaron. There was a loud screech outside. The police had arrived. Taking action, Aaron picked up the gun from the dead man, and attempted to pursue the thieves. They had already piled into the van, and were escaping. Just as Aaron ran towards the door, there was a command of "freeze!" bellowed from behind him. He skidded to a stop, and slowly turned round.

"Drop the weapon!", ordered the cop.

"But I… they were…."

He was cut off from speaking by another shout. Slowly, he bent over to drop the gun. It didn’t look good, as he was covered in blood, and the witnesses had all disappeared. Also on the floor was a dead man, whose balaclava had been taken, making him look like an innocent civilian. A bag of money, which was left by the panic stricken crook, was also lying on the floor. All the cameras had been shot out, so there was absolutely nobody that could save him.

Aaron was taken to court for the murders of Brad Wilshaw, Courtney Samuelson, and Corey Wilson, and armed robbery. The evidence piled up against him, and there was no chance he was going to come out of the court a free man.

"You were found with a weapon in your hands, covered in blood, and three dead bodies surrounded you. You were caught red-handed, and this plays a major role in my decision. I sentence you to life imprisonment, with no chance of parole!"
This was the verdict given by the judge.


Azul²°°³

I hope you enjoyed reading, if you did that is. ;-D
Sun 12/01/03 at 21:54
Regular
"Which one's pink?"
Posts: 12,152
Well, my first real story that I've posted on SR. Hurru!
It's kinda long, and I don't expect you to read it, but what the hell.
Here goes....


"You were found with a weapon in your hands, covered in blood, and three dead bodies surrounded you. You were caught red-handed, and this plays a major role in my decision. I sentence you to life imprisonment, with no chance of parole!"
The judge slammed his hammer on the desk, and there was uproar in the court.

Aaron Smith twitched as he always did when he was nervous. He sat with his handcuffs tight around his shaking wrists, telling his lawyer, over and over, "But I didn’t do it, I had nothing to with it, I swear! You’ve gotta believe me!"
"I’m sorry, I really am, there’s nothing more I can do.", replied his lawyer.

He picked up his briefcase, and started to leave, as the Security guards raised Aaron from his seat, pulling him by his bright orange jump suit.

***

Aaron was walking along the High Street in his slightly torn jeans, and black leather jacket. As he made his way towards the bank, he looked at the sky, wondering if the rain would hold for much longer. There were great bellowing grey clouds, and it would be getting dark soon, so he had to hurry.

He soon arrived at the bank, and as he was about to enter the building, he glanced to his left. Standing there was a black cat, saturated with the rain that had started very heavily. It was quietly hissing at him, and it seemed to be warning him about something. He paused for a moment, and continued into the bank. Spooked a little by this, he made his way to the cashier.

As he reached there, there was a large screeching noise outside. A grey van pulled up outside, and four men jumped out the back of it. They kicked open the main doors with a loud bang, and Aaron spun round. The four men had balaclavas on, and two were wielding pistols, while the others were clutching onto bags. Straight away, one of the gunmen looked for security cameras, and shot them out.

The tallest of the men with guns pointed everyone into one corner of the room. As they were herded into the corner, the men with bags rushed towards separate cashiers and demanded money. The woman at the cashier point where Aaron had went to seemed brave. She didn’t flinch as the robber waved the bag in her face, and just stared him in the eye. Aaron took note of this, seeing who could stand pressure. He was an ex-cop, had moved down to Washington, and knew he could do something to stop the success of the robbery.

The cashiers slowly started to fill the bags with money. The shorter of the men with guns turned to the driver of the van and nodded. It seemed to be some kind of a signal as the van screeched off, and went round the back of the bank. By this time, one of the cashiers had hit the silent alarm under the desk. Once the bags were full, they made their way to the back of the bank.

A man, in his mid 40’s, attempted to take matters into his own hands. He waited till one of the gunmen had just passed him, and quickly and agilely, he pounced on the robber. The taller of the gunmen who was further ahead, heard the commotion, and spun round. This was slowing them up, and they wanted to get away smoothly. Something had to be done. Carefully, he took aim at the man, and as he was about to fire, Aaron dived at the wrestling pair to save him. The shot was fired, and the room was filled with screaming women, and terrified men. As they fell to the floor, it was apparent someone had been hit, as blood was on the floor. The rest of the hostages took this chance. They fled the bank, every single one, and soon were safe, and had disappeared.

The gunman who fired looked stunned; obviously he hadn’t attempted to kill someone before, and he wasn’t hanging about to suffer the consequences. Aaron and the other man rose to their feet, revealing the dead body of the robber. Another of the crooks, now standing at the back door waiting on the others, saw the body, and ran towards him.

"Why the hell did you shoot him!?", he shouted in anger, "Now you’ve got that on your conscience too!"

"I....I....I didn’t mean to shoot him.....", he quietly said, in shock.

"He’s my brother man!", he bawled, now almost reduced to tears. He took of the balaclava of his brother to reveal his face. He had to see it again.

Sirens were heard in the distance, and they knew it was time to run. The man, fearing the raiders would kill him and Aaron, as they were the only witnesses, quickly escaped. The gunman turned, and stared at the cashiers. He looked livid, as they had been compromised, and it was the cashiers fault. He slowly raised his weapon, and not caring anymore, fired four rounds towards the cashiers, killing both.

"Will you guys hurry up!", shouted the other burglar, standing at the escape route, waiting.

"We’re not just gonna leave him, are we?", said the brother.

"We have to, c’mon, lets go!"

Reluctantly, the brother of the murdered robber slowly made his way out. In all the commotion, they had forgotten about Aaron. There was a loud screech outside. The police had arrived. Taking action, Aaron picked up the gun from the dead man, and attempted to pursue the thieves. They had already piled into the van, and were escaping. Just as Aaron ran towards the door, there was a command of "freeze!" bellowed from behind him. He skidded to a stop, and slowly turned round.

"Drop the weapon!", ordered the cop.

"But I… they were…."

He was cut off from speaking by another shout. Slowly, he bent over to drop the gun. It didn’t look good, as he was covered in blood, and the witnesses had all disappeared. Also on the floor was a dead man, whose balaclava had been taken, making him look like an innocent civilian. A bag of money, which was left by the panic stricken crook, was also lying on the floor. All the cameras had been shot out, so there was absolutely nobody that could save him.

Aaron was taken to court for the murders of Brad Wilshaw, Courtney Samuelson, and Corey Wilson, and armed robbery. The evidence piled up against him, and there was no chance he was going to come out of the court a free man.

"You were found with a weapon in your hands, covered in blood, and three dead bodies surrounded you. You were caught red-handed, and this plays a major role in my decision. I sentence you to life imprisonment, with no chance of parole!"
This was the verdict given by the judge.


Azul²°°³

I hope you enjoyed reading, if you did that is. ;-D
Sun 12/01/03 at 22:07
Regular
"Jog on, sunshine"
Posts: 8,979
Excellent. Nice ending.


*salutes*
Sun 12/01/03 at 22:10
Regular
"I like cheese"
Posts: 16,918
Read every word. {:)

Very interesting, I enjoyed it. I like the way you went from the judge's verdict, so that we knew he'd be found guilty, but we didn't know how it happened.

Nice one Azul.

Poor Aaron. {:)
Sun 12/01/03 at 22:17
Regular
"Which one's pink?"
Posts: 12,152
Cheers guys!
Mon 13/01/03 at 17:19
Regular
"bit of a brain"
Posts: 18,933
It was very nice, but I don't understand why Aaron picked up the gun and ran after the thieves, I can't see any reason for him wanting to do this.
Anyhow, short but sweet.
Mon 13/01/03 at 17:57
Regular
Posts: 11,038
Me so sad... :'( Aaron! Why did you leave me!!
Mon 13/01/03 at 18:20
Regular
"Comfortably Numb"
Posts: 5,591
That was good, can i copy it sometime for english?

"NO"

*Weeps*
Mon 13/01/03 at 20:56
Regular
"Which one's pink?"
Posts: 12,152
Yay, all positivish so far.
Thanks people.
Wed 15/01/03 at 11:17
Regular
"Big Pimpin'"
Posts: 664
Great post....he must of had a pants lawyer though!
Wed 15/01/03 at 11:18
Regular
""
Posts: 2,925
I don't get it... your ones good and mine one's fuuny but everybody says it's crap! WHY?

Freeola & GetDotted are rated 5 Stars

Check out some of our customer reviews below:

10/10
Over the years I've become very jaded after many bad experiences with customer services, you have bucked the trend. Polite and efficient from the Freeola team, well done to all involved.
Everybody thinks I am an IT genius...
Nothing but admiration. I have been complimented on the church site that I manage through you and everybody thinks I am an IT genius. Your support is unquestionably outstanding.
Brian

View More Reviews

Need some help? Give us a call on 01376 55 60 60

Go to Support Centre
Feedback Close Feedback

It appears you are using an old browser, as such, some parts of the Freeola and Getdotted site will not work as intended. Using the latest version of your browser, or another browser such as Google Chrome, Mozilla Firefox, or Opera will provide a better, safer browsing experience for you.