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The crack team of British boffins, WASTERS (WASTE Reducing Scientists) have come up with a revolutionary solution to Britain’s refuse problem: Black Hole bin liners.
This radical approach is thought to be the first ever use of collapsed Stars to get rid of rubbish; so say goodbye to those crisp packets, half eaten burgers and Pannini Atomic Kitten stickers.
The technology is still in it’s infancy as Event Horizon director, and sponsor of the project, reveals “creating a black hole bin liner is not as easy as people would think. There are very serious implications and issues that we need to examine before releasing such a product in Tescos. For starters we have to take into account the possibility that people’s pets, such as My Gran’s Yorkshire Terrier, Willy, may get sucked off, the kitchen table at which he dines with the family into another dimension and that would make her sad. Also there is a very real threat of cutlery being accidentally taken into the void too.”
Another drawback the WASTERS have envisaged is the cost of the bins required for containing the bin liners. Each bin would have to be capable of withstanding a small star going Supernova before collapsing on itself creating a mass so dense that it attracts light itself and Daily Star readers. Initial tests with plastic bins from B&Q were unsuccessful and a flux stabilising, photon resilient nexus nebuliser bin, an amalgamation of a Barbie Doll Stable set model as created on Blue Peter and Dusty Bin, the chump change prize on 3-2-1, the show featuring the man with the nimble digits, was thus assembled.
The cost is a slightly prohibitive £200000000000000 billion Euros and 34 Cents. Though the bin liners themselves (a snip at 3 trillion each) will be subject to Tesco buy one get one free promotions.
A rival company, Blackbinliner to the Future, has insisted their time machine bins are a viable alternative. The idea is to fill the bins with waste and send them to a future society whose technology will be sufficient to get rid of it easily. They claim they will be ready to market these bins when technology has developed sufficiently to allow them create these contraptions, which should be some time in the future.
This radical approach is thought to be the first ever use of collapsed Stars to get rid of rubbish; so say goodbye to those crisp packets, half eaten burgers and Pannini Atomic Kitten stickers.
The technology is still in it’s infancy as Event Horizon director, and sponsor of the project, reveals “creating a black hole bin liner is not as easy as people would think. There are very serious implications and issues that we need to examine before releasing such a product in Tescos. For starters we have to take into account the possibility that people’s pets, such as My Gran’s Yorkshire Terrier, Willy, may get sucked off, the kitchen table at which he dines with the family into another dimension and that would make her sad. Also there is a very real threat of cutlery being accidentally taken into the void too.”
Another drawback the WASTERS have envisaged is the cost of the bins required for containing the bin liners. Each bin would have to be capable of withstanding a small star going Supernova before collapsing on itself creating a mass so dense that it attracts light itself and Daily Star readers. Initial tests with plastic bins from B&Q were unsuccessful and a flux stabilising, photon resilient nexus nebuliser bin, an amalgamation of a Barbie Doll Stable set model as created on Blue Peter and Dusty Bin, the chump change prize on 3-2-1, the show featuring the man with the nimble digits, was thus assembled.
The cost is a slightly prohibitive £200000000000000 billion Euros and 34 Cents. Though the bin liners themselves (a snip at 3 trillion each) will be subject to Tesco buy one get one free promotions.
A rival company, Blackbinliner to the Future, has insisted their time machine bins are a viable alternative. The idea is to fill the bins with waste and send them to a future society whose technology will be sufficient to get rid of it easily. They claim they will be ready to market these bins when technology has developed sufficiently to allow them create these contraptions, which should be some time in the future.
Interesting.... very interesting.... black hole bin liners.... yes.... buy one get one free.... I've always said Tescos make your money go furthest.... not like ASDA.... interesting....
Everyone will want to be a black hole refuse operative when they grow up.
Kids will love them for their handiness too;
"where's you homework Smegington?"
"bin ate it".
Kids will love them for their handiness too;
"where's you homework Smegington?"
"bin ate it".
Several binmen in Aldershot shift nervously in his armchairs.
Damn! I was just going to point out very inuendo.
The downside of these bin bags is that it may just come out in a different place in our dimension - ie .....Wales. Maybe not such a bad idea. Never go to the toilet in one though. Because when you find all the faecal deposits in the loft you won't be happy.
The downside of these bin bags is that it may just come out in a different place in our dimension - ie .....Wales. Maybe not such a bad idea. Never go to the toilet in one though. Because when you find all the faecal deposits in the loft you won't be happy.
The sagacious one wrote:
My Gran’s Yorkshire Terrier, Willy, may get sucked off,
---
Strategic comma makes infantile sex-joke inspired.
Goatboy laugh till he cough and soda fly outs his nose.
My Gran’s Yorkshire Terrier, Willy, may get sucked off,
---
Strategic comma makes infantile sex-joke inspired.
Goatboy laugh till he cough and soda fly outs his nose.
The crack team of British boffins, WASTERS (WASTE Reducing Scientists) have come up with a revolutionary solution to Britain’s refuse problem: Black Hole bin liners.
This radical approach is thought to be the first ever use of collapsed Stars to get rid of rubbish; so say goodbye to those crisp packets, half eaten burgers and Pannini Atomic Kitten stickers.
The technology is still in it’s infancy as Event Horizon director, and sponsor of the project, reveals “creating a black hole bin liner is not as easy as people would think. There are very serious implications and issues that we need to examine before releasing such a product in Tescos. For starters we have to take into account the possibility that people’s pets, such as My Gran’s Yorkshire Terrier, Willy, may get sucked off, the kitchen table at which he dines with the family into another dimension and that would make her sad. Also there is a very real threat of cutlery being accidentally taken into the void too.”
Another drawback the WASTERS have envisaged is the cost of the bins required for containing the bin liners. Each bin would have to be capable of withstanding a small star going Supernova before collapsing on itself creating a mass so dense that it attracts light itself and Daily Star readers. Initial tests with plastic bins from B&Q were unsuccessful and a flux stabilising, photon resilient nexus nebuliser bin, an amalgamation of a Barbie Doll Stable set model as created on Blue Peter and Dusty Bin, the chump change prize on 3-2-1, the show featuring the man with the nimble digits, was thus assembled.
The cost is a slightly prohibitive £200000000000000 billion Euros and 34 Cents. Though the bin liners themselves (a snip at 3 trillion each) will be subject to Tesco buy one get one free promotions.
A rival company, Blackbinliner to the Future, has insisted their time machine bins are a viable alternative. The idea is to fill the bins with waste and send them to a future society whose technology will be sufficient to get rid of it easily. They claim they will be ready to market these bins when technology has developed sufficiently to allow them create these contraptions, which should be some time in the future.
This radical approach is thought to be the first ever use of collapsed Stars to get rid of rubbish; so say goodbye to those crisp packets, half eaten burgers and Pannini Atomic Kitten stickers.
The technology is still in it’s infancy as Event Horizon director, and sponsor of the project, reveals “creating a black hole bin liner is not as easy as people would think. There are very serious implications and issues that we need to examine before releasing such a product in Tescos. For starters we have to take into account the possibility that people’s pets, such as My Gran’s Yorkshire Terrier, Willy, may get sucked off, the kitchen table at which he dines with the family into another dimension and that would make her sad. Also there is a very real threat of cutlery being accidentally taken into the void too.”
Another drawback the WASTERS have envisaged is the cost of the bins required for containing the bin liners. Each bin would have to be capable of withstanding a small star going Supernova before collapsing on itself creating a mass so dense that it attracts light itself and Daily Star readers. Initial tests with plastic bins from B&Q were unsuccessful and a flux stabilising, photon resilient nexus nebuliser bin, an amalgamation of a Barbie Doll Stable set model as created on Blue Peter and Dusty Bin, the chump change prize on 3-2-1, the show featuring the man with the nimble digits, was thus assembled.
The cost is a slightly prohibitive £200000000000000 billion Euros and 34 Cents. Though the bin liners themselves (a snip at 3 trillion each) will be subject to Tesco buy one get one free promotions.
A rival company, Blackbinliner to the Future, has insisted their time machine bins are a viable alternative. The idea is to fill the bins with waste and send them to a future society whose technology will be sufficient to get rid of it easily. They claim they will be ready to market these bins when technology has developed sufficiently to allow them create these contraptions, which should be some time in the future.