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For a while I tried to escape it. I pursued my hobbies to a higher extent, I saw more friends during the day, I played more games, I listened to more music and I…well, I was just busier. So busy that I didn’t have time to think about it…at least, not during the day.
But night fell, like it always does. I used to like the night…the dark, but sometimes sparkling blanket that covered the sky every evening used to bring a smile to my face. But I had begun to dread it. Night means sleep, and I knew I had to sleep. For a few nights I tried any means possible – reading until my eyes finally became too heavy, or falling asleep watching TV.
But this didn’t work. I ended up reading until I had nothing left to read, and the TV was full of such crap that it didn’t detract my attention from the ghost that haunted my mind. Because I had become busier during the day I knew that I needed sleep, but this just made it worse. Lack of sleep was ruining my life, and I had to stop reading…I had to stop watching TV, and I had to try and sleep.
But that’s when it all came flooding back. And in the end, my mind was so wracked with thoughts that I became more awake than I had been before. They say that to sleep we need to clear our minds of all thought, but this was impossible for me.
We have control over our own minds, right? Bull. Our minds have control over us. We don’t get to choose what we want to remember and what we don’t…I mean, if we could just forget all the bad stuff that happens then we’d probably live in a better world. And no matter how hard we try, we can’t tell our mind not to think of certain things, or not to create certain images. If anything, trying to do this actually makes it worse.
Night brought me nothing but painful thoughts, painful memories and painful images. Thoughts I used to enjoy, memories I used to cherish and images I used to love. Night brought me these, and then laughed at me. It laughed as I tossed and turned, and just delivered more and more of them to me in a first class package, straight to my head.
I became jealous of the Furby that always sat on the landing, staring in at me. At least he had an “off” switch.
___________________________________
Don't ask what this is about, please. :D
Thanks for reading, Ant.
But night fell, like it always does. I used to like the night…the dark, but sometimes sparkling blanket that covered the sky every evening used to bring a smile to my face. But I had begun to dread it. Night means sleep, and I knew I had to sleep. For a few nights I tried any means possible – reading until my eyes finally became too heavy, or falling asleep watching TV.
But this didn’t work. I ended up reading until I had nothing left to read, and the TV was full of such crap that it didn’t detract my attention from the ghost that haunted my mind. Because I had become busier during the day I knew that I needed sleep, but this just made it worse. Lack of sleep was ruining my life, and I had to stop reading…I had to stop watching TV, and I had to try and sleep.
But that’s when it all came flooding back. And in the end, my mind was so wracked with thoughts that I became more awake than I had been before. They say that to sleep we need to clear our minds of all thought, but this was impossible for me.
We have control over our own minds, right? Bull. Our minds have control over us. We don’t get to choose what we want to remember and what we don’t…I mean, if we could just forget all the bad stuff that happens then we’d probably live in a better world. And no matter how hard we try, we can’t tell our mind not to think of certain things, or not to create certain images. If anything, trying to do this actually makes it worse.
Night brought me nothing but painful thoughts, painful memories and painful images. Thoughts I used to enjoy, memories I used to cherish and images I used to love. Night brought me these, and then laughed at me. It laughed as I tossed and turned, and just delivered more and more of them to me in a first class package, straight to my head.
I became jealous of the Furby that always sat on the landing, staring in at me. At least he had an “off” switch.
___________________________________
Don't ask what this is about, please. :D
Thanks for reading, Ant.
Diamond Dog wrote:
> Ah, glorious pedantry!
>
>
> Furby's don't have off switches...
They must have, surely.
Damn you and your pedantry. :D
Maybe it would've been better if I'd written, "a certain fluffy toy that children enjoy playing with," because then it wouldn't necessarily be a Furby.
And actually, the Furby does have an off switch. All I have to do is throw it with extreme force out of my bedroom window. However, once this particular version is turned off, it can never be turned on again.
> Ah, glorious pedantry!
>
>
> Furby's don't have off switches...
They must have, surely.
Damn you and your pedantry. :D
Maybe it would've been better if I'd written, "a certain fluffy toy that children enjoy playing with," because then it wouldn't necessarily be a Furby.
And actually, the Furby does have an off switch. All I have to do is throw it with extreme force out of my bedroom window. However, once this particular version is turned off, it can never be turned on again.
Ah, glorious pedantry!
Furby's don't have off switches...
Furby's don't have off switches...
For a while I tried to escape it. I pursued my hobbies to a higher extent, I saw more friends during the day, I played more games, I listened to more music and I…well, I was just busier. So busy that I didn’t have time to think about it…at least, not during the day.
But night fell, like it always does. I used to like the night…the dark, but sometimes sparkling blanket that covered the sky every evening used to bring a smile to my face. But I had begun to dread it. Night means sleep, and I knew I had to sleep. For a few nights I tried any means possible – reading until my eyes finally became too heavy, or falling asleep watching TV.
But this didn’t work. I ended up reading until I had nothing left to read, and the TV was full of such crap that it didn’t detract my attention from the ghost that haunted my mind. Because I had become busier during the day I knew that I needed sleep, but this just made it worse. Lack of sleep was ruining my life, and I had to stop reading…I had to stop watching TV, and I had to try and sleep.
But that’s when it all came flooding back. And in the end, my mind was so wracked with thoughts that I became more awake than I had been before. They say that to sleep we need to clear our minds of all thought, but this was impossible for me.
We have control over our own minds, right? Bull. Our minds have control over us. We don’t get to choose what we want to remember and what we don’t…I mean, if we could just forget all the bad stuff that happens then we’d probably live in a better world. And no matter how hard we try, we can’t tell our mind not to think of certain things, or not to create certain images. If anything, trying to do this actually makes it worse.
Night brought me nothing but painful thoughts, painful memories and painful images. Thoughts I used to enjoy, memories I used to cherish and images I used to love. Night brought me these, and then laughed at me. It laughed as I tossed and turned, and just delivered more and more of them to me in a first class package, straight to my head.
I became jealous of the Furby that always sat on the landing, staring in at me. At least he had an “off” switch.
___________________________________
Don't ask what this is about, please. :D
Thanks for reading, Ant.
But night fell, like it always does. I used to like the night…the dark, but sometimes sparkling blanket that covered the sky every evening used to bring a smile to my face. But I had begun to dread it. Night means sleep, and I knew I had to sleep. For a few nights I tried any means possible – reading until my eyes finally became too heavy, or falling asleep watching TV.
But this didn’t work. I ended up reading until I had nothing left to read, and the TV was full of such crap that it didn’t detract my attention from the ghost that haunted my mind. Because I had become busier during the day I knew that I needed sleep, but this just made it worse. Lack of sleep was ruining my life, and I had to stop reading…I had to stop watching TV, and I had to try and sleep.
But that’s when it all came flooding back. And in the end, my mind was so wracked with thoughts that I became more awake than I had been before. They say that to sleep we need to clear our minds of all thought, but this was impossible for me.
We have control over our own minds, right? Bull. Our minds have control over us. We don’t get to choose what we want to remember and what we don’t…I mean, if we could just forget all the bad stuff that happens then we’d probably live in a better world. And no matter how hard we try, we can’t tell our mind not to think of certain things, or not to create certain images. If anything, trying to do this actually makes it worse.
Night brought me nothing but painful thoughts, painful memories and painful images. Thoughts I used to enjoy, memories I used to cherish and images I used to love. Night brought me these, and then laughed at me. It laughed as I tossed and turned, and just delivered more and more of them to me in a first class package, straight to my head.
I became jealous of the Furby that always sat on the landing, staring in at me. At least he had an “off” switch.
___________________________________
Don't ask what this is about, please. :D
Thanks for reading, Ant.