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It's the end of another year, and yet more species have become extinct.
Perhaps the biggest loss of all was the Halitosis Gnome, the like of which shall never be seen on the planet again. When numbers in captivity dropped to just 3 in January things did look bleak, especially when the two males, Cha-Chi and Pottsy refused to mate with Janie. When Janie fell ill in March all hope was lost, Chachi and Pottsy fought viciously, causing fatal injuries.
This is just one of a number of examples of creatures we will never see again, and all the more reason to save the Land Whale.
Since the dawn of the Millennium numbers of Land Whales in the wild have dropped from over 1000, to in there tens. The natural habitat of the Land Whale, astroturf, is becoming depleted, due to ‘turf farmers in Africa selling of much of their land to evil hyper-global corporations, such as the Pepsico Cola Company. Pepsico are tearing up the astroturf, and planting their Cola trees in order to up production levels to an all time high, and oust Coca Cola from the position of number one supplier of liquid Colium products, such as their new range Cocoa-Cola.
There are no longer any Land Whales kept in captivity, since the mysterious death of Bobby at Dudley Zoo.
Many had complained about the conditions that Bobby was kept in, with a rather small enclosure for an animal like the Land Whale, and poor quality astroturf, which had previously belonged to Luton Town Football Club, and was riddled with stud marks. Bobby was also forced to suffer salt water baths, which irritated his skin. Many of the staff at Dudley Zoo had little understanding of the Land Whales problems with salt water, problems which led to the origin of the species so many moons ago, when they grew limbs and climbed from the seas to roam the African Astroturf.
It was claimed by an occupant of Dudley Zoo, Waldo, a minor bird, that Bobby's death may not have been of natural causes. Unfortunately Waldo was silenced before he could give any real evidence.
Another problem for the Land Whale is the dwindling population of their main food-stuffs the Wild QuornDog. Whilst QuornDog’s are not yet endangered species, it seems that it will only be a matter of time before they too are considered endangered.
When numbers of Land Whales begun to fall, it was thought that the QuornDog population would pick up again, but changing times have brought about a new, more dangerous predator hunter the QuornDog. Man.
In a society that has begun to frown upon the eating of meat, with record numbers of people turning vegetarian, the demand for the miraculous animals Pork, Ham and Bacon has fallen, and the farmers have begun to hunt in the wild for the more popular, non-meat meats. The QuornDogs have been hit hardest, but TofuCats are now also beginning to see a fall in numbers.
Despite all of this, there is still a chance to save the Land Whale. A consortium fronted by the spirit wife of Ebenezer Scrooge, have launched a fund, with a view to building a sanctuary for Land Whales. A large expanse of astroturf is to be cultivated in the Sahara desert, and a factory is being built to produce substitute QuornDogs, containing all the same proteins and vitamins, to feed all of the Land Whales.
If you wish to make a donation to the fund, please pledge your amount in this thread. It will then be deducted from future tax-payments and returned to you when the Dark Lord returns to walk the Earth.
I thank you in advance for your kind donations.
Perhaps the biggest loss of all was the Halitosis Gnome, the like of which shall never be seen on the planet again. When numbers in captivity dropped to just 3 in January things did look bleak, especially when the two males, Cha-Chi and Pottsy refused to mate with Janie. When Janie fell ill in March all hope was lost, Chachi and Pottsy fought viciously, causing fatal injuries.
This is just one of a number of examples of creatures we will never see again, and all the more reason to save the Land Whale.
Since the dawn of the Millennium numbers of Land Whales in the wild have dropped from over 1000, to in there tens. The natural habitat of the Land Whale, astroturf, is becoming depleted, due to ‘turf farmers in Africa selling of much of their land to evil hyper-global corporations, such as the Pepsico Cola Company. Pepsico are tearing up the astroturf, and planting their Cola trees in order to up production levels to an all time high, and oust Coca Cola from the position of number one supplier of liquid Colium products, such as their new range Cocoa-Cola.
There are no longer any Land Whales kept in captivity, since the mysterious death of Bobby at Dudley Zoo.
Many had complained about the conditions that Bobby was kept in, with a rather small enclosure for an animal like the Land Whale, and poor quality astroturf, which had previously belonged to Luton Town Football Club, and was riddled with stud marks. Bobby was also forced to suffer salt water baths, which irritated his skin. Many of the staff at Dudley Zoo had little understanding of the Land Whales problems with salt water, problems which led to the origin of the species so many moons ago, when they grew limbs and climbed from the seas to roam the African Astroturf.
It was claimed by an occupant of Dudley Zoo, Waldo, a minor bird, that Bobby's death may not have been of natural causes. Unfortunately Waldo was silenced before he could give any real evidence.
Another problem for the Land Whale is the dwindling population of their main food-stuffs the Wild QuornDog. Whilst QuornDog’s are not yet endangered species, it seems that it will only be a matter of time before they too are considered endangered.
When numbers of Land Whales begun to fall, it was thought that the QuornDog population would pick up again, but changing times have brought about a new, more dangerous predator hunter the QuornDog. Man.
In a society that has begun to frown upon the eating of meat, with record numbers of people turning vegetarian, the demand for the miraculous animals Pork, Ham and Bacon has fallen, and the farmers have begun to hunt in the wild for the more popular, non-meat meats. The QuornDogs have been hit hardest, but TofuCats are now also beginning to see a fall in numbers.
Despite all of this, there is still a chance to save the Land Whale. A consortium fronted by the spirit wife of Ebenezer Scrooge, have launched a fund, with a view to building a sanctuary for Land Whales. A large expanse of astroturf is to be cultivated in the Sahara desert, and a factory is being built to produce substitute QuornDogs, containing all the same proteins and vitamins, to feed all of the Land Whales.
If you wish to make a donation to the fund, please pledge your amount in this thread. It will then be deducted from future tax-payments and returned to you when the Dark Lord returns to walk the Earth.
I thank you in advance for your kind donations.
I hate posts like that; ones that confuse people, serve no real purpose or aren't even remotely interesting.
Made me chuckle. Originally posted about the time I joined up. Me thinks I should browse the older topics once in a while :)
wtf??
Indeed, must have missed this first time around.
Looking for a specific post, I stumbled on this. Fascinating.
Quirky, bizarre and frankly disturbing. As you can tell, I like it!
It's the end of another year, and yet more species have become extinct.
Perhaps the biggest loss of all was the Halitosis Gnome, the like of which shall never be seen on the planet again. When numbers in captivity dropped to just 3 in January things did look bleak, especially when the two males, Cha-Chi and Pottsy refused to mate with Janie. When Janie fell ill in March all hope was lost, Chachi and Pottsy fought viciously, causing fatal injuries.
This is just one of a number of examples of creatures we will never see again, and all the more reason to save the Land Whale.
Since the dawn of the Millennium numbers of Land Whales in the wild have dropped from over 1000, to in there tens. The natural habitat of the Land Whale, astroturf, is becoming depleted, due to ‘turf farmers in Africa selling of much of their land to evil hyper-global corporations, such as the Pepsico Cola Company. Pepsico are tearing up the astroturf, and planting their Cola trees in order to up production levels to an all time high, and oust Coca Cola from the position of number one supplier of liquid Colium products, such as their new range Cocoa-Cola.
There are no longer any Land Whales kept in captivity, since the mysterious death of Bobby at Dudley Zoo.
Many had complained about the conditions that Bobby was kept in, with a rather small enclosure for an animal like the Land Whale, and poor quality astroturf, which had previously belonged to Luton Town Football Club, and was riddled with stud marks. Bobby was also forced to suffer salt water baths, which irritated his skin. Many of the staff at Dudley Zoo had little understanding of the Land Whales problems with salt water, problems which led to the origin of the species so many moons ago, when they grew limbs and climbed from the seas to roam the African Astroturf.
It was claimed by an occupant of Dudley Zoo, Waldo, a minor bird, that Bobby's death may not have been of natural causes. Unfortunately Waldo was silenced before he could give any real evidence.
Another problem for the Land Whale is the dwindling population of their main food-stuffs the Wild QuornDog. Whilst QuornDog’s are not yet endangered species, it seems that it will only be a matter of time before they too are considered endangered.
When numbers of Land Whales begun to fall, it was thought that the QuornDog population would pick up again, but changing times have brought about a new, more dangerous predator hunter the QuornDog. Man.
In a society that has begun to frown upon the eating of meat, with record numbers of people turning vegetarian, the demand for the miraculous animals Pork, Ham and Bacon has fallen, and the farmers have begun to hunt in the wild for the more popular, non-meat meats. The QuornDogs have been hit hardest, but TofuCats are now also beginning to see a fall in numbers.
Despite all of this, there is still a chance to save the Land Whale. A consortium fronted by the spirit wife of Ebenezer Scrooge, have launched a fund, with a view to building a sanctuary for Land Whales. A large expanse of astroturf is to be cultivated in the Sahara desert, and a factory is being built to produce substitute QuornDogs, containing all the same proteins and vitamins, to feed all of the Land Whales.
If you wish to make a donation to the fund, please pledge your amount in this thread. It will then be deducted from future tax-payments and returned to you when the Dark Lord returns to walk the Earth.
I thank you in advance for your kind donations.
Perhaps the biggest loss of all was the Halitosis Gnome, the like of which shall never be seen on the planet again. When numbers in captivity dropped to just 3 in January things did look bleak, especially when the two males, Cha-Chi and Pottsy refused to mate with Janie. When Janie fell ill in March all hope was lost, Chachi and Pottsy fought viciously, causing fatal injuries.
This is just one of a number of examples of creatures we will never see again, and all the more reason to save the Land Whale.
Since the dawn of the Millennium numbers of Land Whales in the wild have dropped from over 1000, to in there tens. The natural habitat of the Land Whale, astroturf, is becoming depleted, due to ‘turf farmers in Africa selling of much of their land to evil hyper-global corporations, such as the Pepsico Cola Company. Pepsico are tearing up the astroturf, and planting their Cola trees in order to up production levels to an all time high, and oust Coca Cola from the position of number one supplier of liquid Colium products, such as their new range Cocoa-Cola.
There are no longer any Land Whales kept in captivity, since the mysterious death of Bobby at Dudley Zoo.
Many had complained about the conditions that Bobby was kept in, with a rather small enclosure for an animal like the Land Whale, and poor quality astroturf, which had previously belonged to Luton Town Football Club, and was riddled with stud marks. Bobby was also forced to suffer salt water baths, which irritated his skin. Many of the staff at Dudley Zoo had little understanding of the Land Whales problems with salt water, problems which led to the origin of the species so many moons ago, when they grew limbs and climbed from the seas to roam the African Astroturf.
It was claimed by an occupant of Dudley Zoo, Waldo, a minor bird, that Bobby's death may not have been of natural causes. Unfortunately Waldo was silenced before he could give any real evidence.
Another problem for the Land Whale is the dwindling population of their main food-stuffs the Wild QuornDog. Whilst QuornDog’s are not yet endangered species, it seems that it will only be a matter of time before they too are considered endangered.
When numbers of Land Whales begun to fall, it was thought that the QuornDog population would pick up again, but changing times have brought about a new, more dangerous predator hunter the QuornDog. Man.
In a society that has begun to frown upon the eating of meat, with record numbers of people turning vegetarian, the demand for the miraculous animals Pork, Ham and Bacon has fallen, and the farmers have begun to hunt in the wild for the more popular, non-meat meats. The QuornDogs have been hit hardest, but TofuCats are now also beginning to see a fall in numbers.
Despite all of this, there is still a chance to save the Land Whale. A consortium fronted by the spirit wife of Ebenezer Scrooge, have launched a fund, with a view to building a sanctuary for Land Whales. A large expanse of astroturf is to be cultivated in the Sahara desert, and a factory is being built to produce substitute QuornDogs, containing all the same proteins and vitamins, to feed all of the Land Whales.
If you wish to make a donation to the fund, please pledge your amount in this thread. It will then be deducted from future tax-payments and returned to you when the Dark Lord returns to walk the Earth.
I thank you in advance for your kind donations.