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SRW and KOTR titles - First fall KOTR, second fall SRW title.
The Rock (Starlight) V RVD (Afrojoe) V Brock Lesnar (DW)
Written by LL Cool TT
Tonight, ladies and gents, we’ve seen it all – Christian(Grandprix) beating Hurricane(RM19) in the first-ever Ironman Table Match, Scotty Dogg(Figo) retained the HardCAW title, and Eddie Guerrero(Cong Man) saw off Kurt Angle(Grandprix)’s challenge for the European title. However, now we progress to what could be the match of the night…notice the use of the word ‘could’ instead of ‘will’, because the HiAC will definitely over-shadow any and every match the competitors in SRW will be able to muster. Anywho, I digress…tonight, weeks of waiting finally come to an end. The two number 1 contenders for the KOTR and SRW titles are ready to challenge The Rock(Starlight) for both titles.
According to the rules *shuffles papers* ah yes, here it is, The Rock(Starlight) does not have to be pinned by either man to lose both of his titles! If I were a betting man, I would say that The Rock has the odds stacked against him – and since I am a betting man, that’s exactly what I have said…at the bookies! My money’s on Brock for both titles, and I’ve got my life’s savings on him! Right, we should be ready to start now, we’re awaiting the entrance of “The Whole F’N Show” Rob Van Dam…any minute now…just waiting until the music hits…it can’t be long now…
DING! DING! DING!
Referee Mike Chiota has stepped into the ring, and all the crowd have quietened down somewhat, paying attention to what this new centre of attention has to say…
Chiota: “I’ve been handed a note by someone claiming to be “The Powers That Be”, that the following match is NOT a two-fall match-up. They have commanded that the following match has the stipulations applied, detailed below. The first fall will be a normal Triple Threat match for the KOTR title. The winner of this first fall will be the first competitor to pin another wrestler, or make another wrestler submit. The wrestler who directly loses this fall will then BE ELIMINATED!”
The crowd bursts into a huge ball of electricity! The wrestler who is pinned in the first fall will be eliminated from the match! This means that should The Rock(Starlight) get pinned by, say, RVD(AJ), then The Rock wouldn’t have the chance to defend his Undisputed SRW title! This is huge! And who are these “Powers That Be”?
Chiota: “Wait a second, wait a second…it goes on. The two remaining competitors will then do battle for the Undisputed SRW Heavyweight Championship…in a Stretcher Match! This means that the first wrestler to injure his opponent to the extent whereby he must be carried out on a stretcher, wins!”
Oh my God! This is unbelievable! We may very well witness a show-stealer now! We’ve now had to change the booking. It’s now:
SRW and KOTR titles - First fall, loser eliminated, KOTR; second fall, stretcher match, SRW title.
The Rock (Starlight) V RVD (Afrojoe) V Brock Lesnar (DW)
Written by LL Cool TT
BOOM! “ONE OF A KIND!”
Rob Van Dam(AJ) is on his way to the ring, seemingly walking against a tidal-wave of abuse, booing and jeering, after his shocking betrayal of his legions of supporters in his No.1 Contenders’ Final two weeks ago:
Kane(Starlight) has kicked out, and RVD(AJ) is livid! He pulls Kane up until Kane is on his own two feet, but now RVD has dropped to his knees…? He is appealing to the referee, but hits a LOW, LOW BLOW, RIC FLAIR-STYLE! The crowd doesn’t know what to do, but a section of them are booing loudly! RVD(AJ) hasn’t experienced this in years, and he doesn’t know what to do, BUT HE GIVES THEM THE MIDDLE FINGER! The whole crowd has exploded into a huge chorus of raucous boos! RVD(AJ) is incensed; his fans were a huge advantage he had over his opponents, but now he’s gone and screwed all that up! The fans are chanting Kane’s name: “Kane, Kane, Kane!” The crowd seem to be as fickle as a 13-year old girl, and have switched allegiances in the blink of an eye!
That was truly a stunning reversal of praise, but will his unloading of what he described as ‘baggage’ help to either of the two titles up for grabs tonight? We’ll have to wait and see…
*BROCK LESNAR’S MUSIC HITS*
Here comes the pain! Brock(DW) is heading towards the ring, and you’ve gotta be able to smell the anger of RVD(AJ) towards Brock, after all, RVD had to win two marathon matches to get here, whereas all Brock had to do was to get his mouthpiece to have a sudden case of verbal diarrhoea, and so Brock(DW) got a title shot. I sympathize with that arrogant S O B, but will his anger become an advantage, or hinder his progress up the multi-runged ladder that are the SRW ranks? Brock leaps into the ring, and decides not to stare down his opponent, instead favouring intimidating referee Mike Chiota. RVD(AJ) watches Brock(DW)’s actions carefully, as Brock starts to mouth off to the ref about the upcoming match-up. Both challengers are now in the ring, awaiting their fate, the carrier of gold, the bearer of two titles: The Rock(Starlight)…
“IF YA SMEEEEEEEELLL – WHAT THE ROCK – IS COOKIN’”
The Rock(Starlight) is here! The crowd has literally exploded into a mass wave of cheering and sheer ecstasy! Good Lord, I can’t even hear myself talk, God only knows what it’s like for the competitors down in the ring! The Rock has stopped outside the ring, and is staring Brock(DW) in the face! Now Rocky goes up to the top turnbuckle (something you won’t see in an actual match), and holds his hand aloft! He’s carrying 20lbs of gold, showing that he is the champ(s)! The Rock hops into the ring, and now all three men are in the ring, as we wait for the bell…
DING! DING! DING!
Here we go! The wrestlers look reluctant to get started; no one wants to be the primary aggressor…the men just seem to be circling the ring, until Brock(DW) runs at RVD(AJ)! RVD ducks, though, and now the thumbs are up – R – V – what?! He stuck his middle finger up at the crowd for the ‘D’, just as the crowd seemed to be warming again to the arrogant, self-centred ‘person’; yet another example of our SRW fans fickleness. We are still waiting for the first offensive move of this contest, and it might come here, as The Rock(Starlight) charges at Lesnar(DW), but Brock escapes any punishment by swiftly dodging to the right. But now, RVD(AJ) has gone to the outside, and is calling for The Rock and Brock to get it on! But Rocky and Brock(y) instead head to the outside themselves, in hot pursuit of the yellow-bellied, yellow-livered, yellow leotard-wearing Van Dam! Van Dam(AJ) rolls back into the ring, though, but The Rock(Starlight) has followed Van Dam back into the ring, runs at RVD, but RVD flapjacks The Rock! And now, RVD runs towards the ropes and HITS A NO-TOUCH OVER-THE-TOP-ROPE TOPÉ ON BROCK! Wonderful aerial offence by RVD(AJ)! Van Dam gets back into the ring, but The Rock(Starlight) has recovered, and is now beating on RVD, right on the challenger’s back! He whips RVD into the ropes; RVD rolls over the champion’s back, and spin kicks him right in the mush! That’s painfully intelligent offence by Van Dam! He looks for the cover:
One
Two
KICK OUT! The Rock(Starlight) easily made it out of that one, but RVD(AJ) probably knew that he would, anyway, and is now pulling The Rock back up to a vertical base…sharp martial arts kicks to the gut of The Rock, and now the champ is whipped into the ropes; hits the other side, but Brock(DW) catches The Rock’s feet, forcing The Rock(Starlight) to the floor, face-first! Brock pulls The Rock outside, and CLOTHESLINES HIM TO THE GROUND! Hee-uge impact by Brock in that move! Sure, there’s no technical skill to it, but it works! But RVD has spotted this, and is preparing himself for an OVER-THE-TOP PLANCHA! – but Brock caught him! RVD(AJ) is neck-deep in trouble now, as he writhes in the clutches of The Next Big Thing…Brock(DW) power lifts Van Dam up, and brings him down for a huge back-breaker! He holds on, though, and OOH! A second painful back-breaker for The Whole F’N Show, and even those in Row Z could have felt that! Brock is still grasping RVD, as if he were a small deer, and Brock a rather large lion, or even a crocodile! RVD is lifted up again, but RVD manages to twist his way into a DDT! He spiked Brock there, everyone! That could have broken a giraffe’s neck in more than two places! RVD(AJ) is holding his back, Brock(DW) is dead, and The Rock(Starlight) is still in shock over how he got hit with such force!
RVD(AJ) has now gingerly rolled into the ring, and is followed by a still-stunned Brock(DW), with The Rock(Starlight) still on the outside. RVD throws multiple forearms into Brock’s face, but Brock quickly gets wise to this, and ducks an arm, clasps his hands around RVD’s waist, and THROWS RVD INTO THE ROPES WITH A TEXTBOOK RELEASE GERMAN SULPEX! RVD has been tied up up-side down, with his arms wrapped around the top rope, and his neck resting on the second rope! Brock(DW) knows what he’s going to do next, but what is it? He flexes his shoulders, and DROPKICKS RVD’S HEAD! RVD flips over, and falls to the mat! Brock quickly goes for the cover:
One
Two
KICK OUT! RVD(AJ) managed to escape that tricky predicament the hard way, but can rebuild from here, I guess. Brock(DW) notices that The Rock(Starlight) is slowly getting up, opts to whip RVD, but RVD reverses; Brock hits the ropes; RVD hits the splits, but Brock drops a quick elbow, crushing RVD’s head! Brock again goes for the pinfall:
One
Two
KICK OUT! RVD(AJ) has escaped again, but must soon find some form of offence, to slow down the freight train that is Brock Lesnar(DW)! The Rock(Starlight) has now re-entered the ring, but is immediately set upon by Brock! Heavy rights and lefts raining down on the back of the champion, and is whipped into the ropes; Rock returns, but is caught by Brock in a sidewalk slam hold – this could be a pendulum back-breaker, a sidewalk slam, or whatever pops into that Heyman-poisoned mind of Brock Lesnar(DW)! Brock slowly wanders over to the corner, and is screaming for something…he’s calling for RVD to get up to the top rope! What for? RVD follows Lesnar’s instructions, and DROPS A HUGE CORKSCREW LEG DROP WITH A SIDEWALK SLAM! The Rock(Starlight) is being dangerously double-teamed, as the crowd starts to mercilessly boo the challengers! The Rock is picked up, and double-whipped into the ropes; RVD(AJ) drops down; The Rock leaps over him, but is caught by Brock(DW), who SPINEBUSTERS THE ROCK ONTO THE PRONE RVD! So much for teamwork! Brock hoists the champion to his feet, prepares to whip him into the ropes, but holds on, and clutches the waist of The Rock(Starlight) – BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX! The Rock has been thrown into the air, and landed right on his back! Brock again goes for a cover:
One
Two
KICK OUT! The Rock(Starlight) kicked out, due largely to the fact that Brock(DW) failed to grapevine the leg, but Rocky can start to attack Brock from here…RVD(AJ) is holding his probably-injured back, but has managed to sneak up on Brock, beating him on the neck, and kicking him in the stomach. Brock resists this attack, though, and pulls The Rock up by his head, and smashes RVD and Rock’s heads together! Brock flexes those unnatural shoulders again, and goes for a double clothesline – the pair duck, however; RVD kicks; The Rock punches; both connect – Brock(DW) is down! The Rock(Starlight) now sets to work on RVD(AJ), by kicking him in the gut, hitting a few punches, and now whips RVD into the ropes; RVD bounces off and leaps into the air – hurricanrana attempt, but The Rock holds on; RVD’s been hung out to dry, and now – PILEDRIVER BY THE ROCK! RVD is limp, and The Rock(Starlight) goes for a cover:
One
Two
KICK OUT! HOW DID HE DO IT?! That piledriver must have taken a lot out of RVD(AJ), and now will he be able to muster the strength to hit those high spots? That crucial aerial offence of Van Dam may have disappeared, right in front of our eyes! Brock(DW) has recovered, and is back up, and now starts to attack The Rock(Starlight) with vicious shots to the face, leading him near the corner but Van Dam has leapt like a slinky up to the top rope, and HITS A CROSS-BODY ON BOTH ROCK AND BROCK! Huge aerial and innovative manoeuvre by Van Dam, but can he capitalise from here? He covers The Rock, grape-vining the leg:
One
Two
KICK OUT! The Rock(Starlight) just saved his titles with that kick out, but will it be enough? RVD(AJ) retires to the outside, and starts to look underneath the ring for some sort of weapon, but what could it be? He seems to have something but wha…A LADDER! This will be illegal if he uses it on either opponent, but he’s not done yet! He pulled out two tables as well! The Rock(Starlight) is now stomping away on Brock(DW) in the corner, with little or no mercy! Van Dam, on the other hand, has set up the two tables, one stacked on the other, and has now positioned the folded-up ladder on the top table! He uses the ring to climb onto the tables, and now is setting up that ladder, on the top of the two tables! That’s a huge 20ft ladder set up on those tables, it even reaches high enough for the cel – oh no…Van Dam(AJ) is climbing that ladder, and I reckon it’s with the intention of *gulp*, climbing onto the suspended cell! He’s carefully made his way up to the top of the ladder, and he’s swearing to the crowd, but mainly to his opponents, daring them to follow his lead!
Brock(DW) has paid slightly too much attention to RVD(AJ), but The Rock(Starlight) has kept his wits about him, and has thrown Brock to the outside! He follows Brock to the outside, picks up The Next Big Thing, and whips him onto the guard barrier! The Rock runs straight for Brock, but Brock sidesteps him, and The Rock smashes into the guard rail himself! Brock, not wanting to lose any advantage, has whipped The Rock(Starlight) towards the tables and ladder formation, but Rocky rolled out the way, to the side of the tables and ladder. Van Dam(AJ), though, leapt onto the side of the cell, fearing for his safety (and possibly his life), and is now climbing the cell wall! Brock(DW) has jumped onto The Rock, and is hammering his back, restricting any movements The Rock may wish to make…but what is Van Dam doing? He’s looking down towards the other wrestlers, and is preparing to jump?! Oh my…NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOO! ASAI MOONSAULT OFF THE SUSPENDED CELL ONTO BROCK AND ROCK! OH MY GOD! That’s unbelievable! The crowd are shocked and amazed, and some are even applauding RVD for that sensational move!
RVD(AJ) is not moving, and neither is The Rock(Starlight), but somehow, Brock(DW) is?! Let’s take a look at the action replay:
*Action replay plays*
Van Dam moonsaulted off the cell onto his opponents, but THERE *slow motion* Van Dam hit his left knee right on The Rock’s head as he fell to the ground, probably knocking The Rock out cold.
*Back to live action*
Brock Lesnar(DW) has somehow managed to pick up The Rock(Starlight) and has rolled him gingerly into the ring. Brock too is in the ring, and now has covered the unconscious Rock:
One
Two
Three! That’s it! Brock Lesnar(DW) has beaten The Rock(Starlight) for the KOTR title, and The Rock has been eliminated! The crowd are incensed!
Finkel: “The winner of the first fall, and NEW KOTR Heavyweight Champion, The Next Big Thing, BROCK LESNAR! In consequence of this fall, The Rock has been eliminated from this match!”
The Rock(Starlight) has been eliminated, and now is being led away by some of our SRW referees. RVD(AJ) has regained some form of balance, and has rolled slowly into the ring, just as Damage Control (our crack team of EMTs and paramedics) head towards the ring with a stretcher! Brock(DW) can’t believe what he has accomplished, and now is celebrating with his newly-won title belt! RVD is still trying to stand up without support, as everyone in the arena tries to catch their breath!
DING! DING! DING!
Let the SRW title match begin! Some might argue that Brock doesn’t deserve to be in this fall, without the current (or it that now former) champion, The Rock(Starlight), and I’d be inclined to agree, but anyway, this second fall is underway!
The two men slowly circle the ring, until they both go for a collar and elbow tie-up, but separate. They go for one again, but again, they separate. A third attempt is made, and this time, Brock(DW) is able to get the upper hand, applying an arm-wringer to RVD(AJ). RVD reverses with an arm-wringer of his own, but Brock is able to apply a hammerlock on RVD, but RVD responds in kind…Brock wraps his arm around RVD’s head, into a headlock, but RVD leans back towards the ropes, and bounces off, trying to get Brock to relinquish his hold, but Brock holds on! RVD(AJ) tries again, and this time Brock(DW) is pushed off into the ropes. My God, this thing has turned into a wrestling match! Not for long though, as Brock hits a massive clothesline on his opponent, folding him up! Brock picks RVD up, positions him on the top turnbuckle, but – OOF! OOF! RVD kicks Brock away, hits a leaping forward roll off the turnbuckle, jumps and hits a STERLING FRONT-FLIP DROPKICK! Stunning move by RVD(AJ), as he immediately goes for a pin, but there are no pins in this match!
A frustrated RVD(AJ) gets up and starts to shout at the referee, much to the fans’ displeasure Who will they side with? They don’t like either one of them, but I’d say that the fans wouldn’t side with RVD, after his betrayal a mere fortnight ago. But we can never tell, at least until the fans actually do decide, anyway. Brock(DW) has got up to his feet, and is now staring out RVD(AJ), but not in his eyes; in his waist! I bet that Brock is looking to cinch in that Brock Lock: that ridiculously strong bear hug. If he can, he’ll be able to almost kill RVD, put him on that stretcher, and get him carted away, to become a double champion, and rule SRW! He makes a dive for RVD’s mid-section, but RVD realises his plan, and quickly gets out the way of this rabid predator, aching for some stomach meat. But RVD(AJ) is intent that he will not sacrifice the well-being of his torso just to quench the blood-thirst of Brock Lesnar(DW). Lesnar again goes for RVD’s mid-section, but RVD KNOCKS HIM SILLY WITH A PERFECTLY-TIMED SPINNING HEEL KICK! Precision-perfect timing by RVD! Decides against the call for the stretcher, instead going for a perfect BACKFLIP SPLASH on the downed Brock Lesnar. RVD is now going to the outside, but for what reason? He’s heading towards us, but he’s has gone for the timekeeper’s desk, and has picked up a chair! He holds it aloft, like the Holy Grail, and this has triggered huge chorus of “F**k him up, Lesnar, f**k him up!” from the crowd. They are putting all their weight behind that beast of a man, Brock Lesnar(DW). Perhaps this will be enough to push Brock to the SRW title, but Van Dam(AJ) can use a chair better than Beethoven could play his piano! Van Dam brings the chair with him into the ring, but is met by a ghoulish hammer-blow to the back by Lesnar, followed by a whip into the ropes; Van Dam comes back; gets caught and POWERSLAMMED by Brock! Powerslam and back to his feet in a single movement. Tremendous athleticism! Brock has set his eyes on the steel chair brought into the ring by Van Dam(AJ); he picks it up with the evillest of intentions, and looks toward the struggling RVD. The crowd is slowly coming to Brock’s support; they begin to chant his name as he prepares to cave in RVD’s skull (might be a tough job, considering the size of Van Dam’s head):
*BROCK, BROCK, BROCK – OOH! OOOOOHHHHHH!!*
Good Lord! Van Dam(AJ) was aware of Brock(DW)’s plan, so he swept Brock’s legs, away, forcing Brock to land flat on his face, the chair fell on the back of his head, and then Van Dam hit a supersonic somersault leg-drop, onto the chair laying on Brock’s head! RVD has called Damage Control over, and they try to lift Brock onto the stretcher; they get him onto the stretcher, but they don’t get him far! He comes to his senses, rolls off the stretcher, and sets upon Damage Control! He’s beating up the EMTs! But here comes the cavalry! A band of merry referees are here to save Maid Marion from the Sheriff of Nottingham, Brock Lesnar(DW)! They wrestle him away from the paramedics, and instruct him to re-enter the ring – he does, but RVD(AJ) is there, ready to dropkick him to high Heaven! RVD again picks up the chair and sets to work on Brock Lesnar, The Next Big Thing, the new KOTR champion…Brock is whipped into the ropes; RVD leapfrogs him; Brock returns; RVD hits the floor; Brock leaps over him; RVD’s up, and SMACKS BROCK WITH THE CHAIR! Right on the noggin! But Brock(DW)’s still up! RVD(AJ)’s takes over swing at him, and CRACKS THE SKULL! A second sickening chair shot by Van Dam! But Brock still stands up! Van Dam seems to have had about as much as he can take; he shoves Brock into the corner, and then RVD himself runs to the opposite end – he starts to run up; forward roll, but keeps hold of the cha – OH MY! RVD(AJ) just hit Brock with the chair after somersaulting first, then using the momentum to crack apart Brock(DW)’s head! Brock has been busted open after that shocking chair shot, and now Van Dam has called for Damage Control to cart Lesnar away! But Lesnar has leapt up! Right onto his feet! RVD is in shock, and fearing for his life, and with good reason! Brock is bleeding heavily from his forehead, and it’s dripping into his eyes, probably obscuring his vision considerably, and with Van Dam’s pace, his title chances may be disappearing as quickly as his vision!
RVD(AJ) kicks Brock(DW) in the gut, throws the chair towards Brock, VAN DAMINATOR MISSED – BROCK CAVES IN VAN DAM’S SKULL! Brocks drops the chair, and BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEXES RVD OVER THE TOP ROPE! RVD thrown onto the matted concrete below, and now Brock calls for the stretcher to be brought over, but Damage Control (or what’s left of them) are refusing! Brock(DW) beat the hell out of their team earlier on, and now they are refusing to carry RVD(AJ) out! The crowd cannot believe it; they’re booing the hell out of Damage Control – who would’ve thought that ANYONE would’ve cared that much about Damage Control? Brock is angry (VERY angry!) and is running towards the remaining members of Damage Control, who scatter to the back, but one of them wasn’t fast enough! The fattest EMT has been taken around the neck by Brock, and is gasping for air! But wait – RVD has smacked Brock on the back of the head with a chair! He drags Brock(DW) back to the ring, and pushes the ladder in as well! RVD(AJ) will wreak havoc with that thing if Brock doesn’t stop him! RVD picks up the ladder, and throws it on Brock’s head! It sets it up in the corner now, and proceeds to the top rope – he’s using the ladder as a pummel horse, to launch a huge SOMERSAULT LEG-DROP! Brock’s trachea could be crushed from that huge drop! Good Lord! RVD has gone to the outside, but is not calling for the stretcher; instead he’s taking it for himself, and positioning it just outside the ring, and now Brock could be in trouble! RVD(AJ) gets back in the ring, but Brock(DW) has got back up, with seemingly no ill effects from the wonderfully-tall leg-drop! RVD has been stunned into non-movement! Brock has had a Medusa-like effect on Van Dam – he just can’t move! Brock has RVD on his shoulders, on the side of the ring…you know what’s coming – F5 ONTO THE STRETCHER OUTSIDE THE RING! Van Dam has been destroyed, but there are no members of Damage Control left to wheel away Van Dam! What can Brock do from here, with no one to enable him to win the match?
Brock(DW) is perplexed – there is currently no way to win this match for him, so he cannot win the title! He looks at the broken body of RVD(AJ), but – WHAT THE - ?! THE LIGHTS HAVE CUT OUT! No one can see a thing! Whoever has done this has brought about an incredibly cheap ending to this match! I can’t see my hand in front of my face!
*CRACK! WHAM! SMACK! SMACK!*
What the hell was all that? What’s going on?! I still can’t see anything…WHAT THE HELL?!! The lights have come back on, but it’s revealed Brock(DW) has been strapped into the stretcher, and he has been laid upside-down in the corner! RVD(AQJ) is up again, and now he has placed the ladder in front of Brock’s face! He jumps to the top turnbuckle of the adjacent corner, and here comes the – VAN TERMINATOR! Oh……my…….God!! The ladder has gone straight into Brock(DW)’s face, and now – WHO THE HELL ARE THESE GUYS? Two men, dressed as the Grim Reaper, have come in, thrown Brock and the stretcher over the top rope, and are wheeling him out at a sprinting pace! Wait…NO! NO! RVD has won this match, as Brock has been wheeled out to the back, after that devastating Van Terminator! RVD(AJ) is the new Undisputed SRW Champ! The crowd cannot believe it, and neither can I! They’re booing at the loudest rate I’ve ever heard!
Finkel: “Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this fall, and NEW Undisputed SRW Heavyweight Champion of the World…Rob...Van…Dam!”
The crowd are jeering as loudly as they can…I mean, I’ve never heard such a showing of opposition to the champion of the world! Who the hell were those Grim Reapers? How did Van Dam pull that off? Who are The Powers That Be? Who cut the lights? We may never know, but we can ‘look forward’ to RVD(AJ)’s acceptance speech, next week on Eclipse! Tune in for that, and the aftermath of tonight’s epic of a wrestling match…goodnight Silverstone!
***
Phew…glad that’s over. It’s been bothering me for a few days now. So now we have a new tag team (soon to be confirmed; they’re just for promos and run-ins at the moment); Brock(DW) as the new KOTR champion, and RVD(AJ), the biggest heel in SRW, as the new SRW champ. Anyway, not my best, but still, any comments would be appreciated.
The Rock (Starlight) V RVD (Afrojoe) V Brock Lesnar (DW)
Written by LL Cool TT
Tonight, ladies and gents, we’ve seen it all – Christian(Grandprix) beating Hurricane(RM19) in the first-ever Ironman Table Match, Scotty Dogg(Figo) retained the HardCAW title, and Eddie Guerrero(Cong Man) saw off Kurt Angle(Grandprix)’s challenge for the European title. However, now we progress to what could be the match of the night…notice the use of the word ‘could’ instead of ‘will’, because the HiAC will definitely over-shadow any and every match the competitors in SRW will be able to muster. Anywho, I digress…tonight, weeks of waiting finally come to an end. The two number 1 contenders for the KOTR and SRW titles are ready to challenge The Rock(Starlight) for both titles.
According to the rules *shuffles papers* ah yes, here it is, The Rock(Starlight) does not have to be pinned by either man to lose both of his titles! If I were a betting man, I would say that The Rock has the odds stacked against him – and since I am a betting man, that’s exactly what I have said…at the bookies! My money’s on Brock for both titles, and I’ve got my life’s savings on him! Right, we should be ready to start now, we’re awaiting the entrance of “The Whole F’N Show” Rob Van Dam…any minute now…just waiting until the music hits…it can’t be long now…
DING! DING! DING!
Referee Mike Chiota has stepped into the ring, and all the crowd have quietened down somewhat, paying attention to what this new centre of attention has to say…
Chiota: “I’ve been handed a note by someone claiming to be “The Powers That Be”, that the following match is NOT a two-fall match-up. They have commanded that the following match has the stipulations applied, detailed below. The first fall will be a normal Triple Threat match for the KOTR title. The winner of this first fall will be the first competitor to pin another wrestler, or make another wrestler submit. The wrestler who directly loses this fall will then BE ELIMINATED!”
The crowd bursts into a huge ball of electricity! The wrestler who is pinned in the first fall will be eliminated from the match! This means that should The Rock(Starlight) get pinned by, say, RVD(AJ), then The Rock wouldn’t have the chance to defend his Undisputed SRW title! This is huge! And who are these “Powers That Be”?
Chiota: “Wait a second, wait a second…it goes on. The two remaining competitors will then do battle for the Undisputed SRW Heavyweight Championship…in a Stretcher Match! This means that the first wrestler to injure his opponent to the extent whereby he must be carried out on a stretcher, wins!”
Oh my God! This is unbelievable! We may very well witness a show-stealer now! We’ve now had to change the booking. It’s now:
SRW and KOTR titles - First fall, loser eliminated, KOTR; second fall, stretcher match, SRW title.
The Rock (Starlight) V RVD (Afrojoe) V Brock Lesnar (DW)
Written by LL Cool TT
BOOM! “ONE OF A KIND!”
Rob Van Dam(AJ) is on his way to the ring, seemingly walking against a tidal-wave of abuse, booing and jeering, after his shocking betrayal of his legions of supporters in his No.1 Contenders’ Final two weeks ago:
Kane(Starlight) has kicked out, and RVD(AJ) is livid! He pulls Kane up until Kane is on his own two feet, but now RVD has dropped to his knees…? He is appealing to the referee, but hits a LOW, LOW BLOW, RIC FLAIR-STYLE! The crowd doesn’t know what to do, but a section of them are booing loudly! RVD(AJ) hasn’t experienced this in years, and he doesn’t know what to do, BUT HE GIVES THEM THE MIDDLE FINGER! The whole crowd has exploded into a huge chorus of raucous boos! RVD(AJ) is incensed; his fans were a huge advantage he had over his opponents, but now he’s gone and screwed all that up! The fans are chanting Kane’s name: “Kane, Kane, Kane!” The crowd seem to be as fickle as a 13-year old girl, and have switched allegiances in the blink of an eye!
That was truly a stunning reversal of praise, but will his unloading of what he described as ‘baggage’ help to either of the two titles up for grabs tonight? We’ll have to wait and see…
*BROCK LESNAR’S MUSIC HITS*
Here comes the pain! Brock(DW) is heading towards the ring, and you’ve gotta be able to smell the anger of RVD(AJ) towards Brock, after all, RVD had to win two marathon matches to get here, whereas all Brock had to do was to get his mouthpiece to have a sudden case of verbal diarrhoea, and so Brock(DW) got a title shot. I sympathize with that arrogant S O B, but will his anger become an advantage, or hinder his progress up the multi-runged ladder that are the SRW ranks? Brock leaps into the ring, and decides not to stare down his opponent, instead favouring intimidating referee Mike Chiota. RVD(AJ) watches Brock(DW)’s actions carefully, as Brock starts to mouth off to the ref about the upcoming match-up. Both challengers are now in the ring, awaiting their fate, the carrier of gold, the bearer of two titles: The Rock(Starlight)…
“IF YA SMEEEEEEEELLL – WHAT THE ROCK – IS COOKIN’”
The Rock(Starlight) is here! The crowd has literally exploded into a mass wave of cheering and sheer ecstasy! Good Lord, I can’t even hear myself talk, God only knows what it’s like for the competitors down in the ring! The Rock has stopped outside the ring, and is staring Brock(DW) in the face! Now Rocky goes up to the top turnbuckle (something you won’t see in an actual match), and holds his hand aloft! He’s carrying 20lbs of gold, showing that he is the champ(s)! The Rock hops into the ring, and now all three men are in the ring, as we wait for the bell…
DING! DING! DING!
Here we go! The wrestlers look reluctant to get started; no one wants to be the primary aggressor…the men just seem to be circling the ring, until Brock(DW) runs at RVD(AJ)! RVD ducks, though, and now the thumbs are up – R – V – what?! He stuck his middle finger up at the crowd for the ‘D’, just as the crowd seemed to be warming again to the arrogant, self-centred ‘person’; yet another example of our SRW fans fickleness. We are still waiting for the first offensive move of this contest, and it might come here, as The Rock(Starlight) charges at Lesnar(DW), but Brock escapes any punishment by swiftly dodging to the right. But now, RVD(AJ) has gone to the outside, and is calling for The Rock and Brock to get it on! But Rocky and Brock(y) instead head to the outside themselves, in hot pursuit of the yellow-bellied, yellow-livered, yellow leotard-wearing Van Dam! Van Dam(AJ) rolls back into the ring, though, but The Rock(Starlight) has followed Van Dam back into the ring, runs at RVD, but RVD flapjacks The Rock! And now, RVD runs towards the ropes and HITS A NO-TOUCH OVER-THE-TOP-ROPE TOPÉ ON BROCK! Wonderful aerial offence by RVD(AJ)! Van Dam gets back into the ring, but The Rock(Starlight) has recovered, and is now beating on RVD, right on the challenger’s back! He whips RVD into the ropes; RVD rolls over the champion’s back, and spin kicks him right in the mush! That’s painfully intelligent offence by Van Dam! He looks for the cover:
One
Two
KICK OUT! The Rock(Starlight) easily made it out of that one, but RVD(AJ) probably knew that he would, anyway, and is now pulling The Rock back up to a vertical base…sharp martial arts kicks to the gut of The Rock, and now the champ is whipped into the ropes; hits the other side, but Brock(DW) catches The Rock’s feet, forcing The Rock(Starlight) to the floor, face-first! Brock pulls The Rock outside, and CLOTHESLINES HIM TO THE GROUND! Hee-uge impact by Brock in that move! Sure, there’s no technical skill to it, but it works! But RVD has spotted this, and is preparing himself for an OVER-THE-TOP PLANCHA! – but Brock caught him! RVD(AJ) is neck-deep in trouble now, as he writhes in the clutches of The Next Big Thing…Brock(DW) power lifts Van Dam up, and brings him down for a huge back-breaker! He holds on, though, and OOH! A second painful back-breaker for The Whole F’N Show, and even those in Row Z could have felt that! Brock is still grasping RVD, as if he were a small deer, and Brock a rather large lion, or even a crocodile! RVD is lifted up again, but RVD manages to twist his way into a DDT! He spiked Brock there, everyone! That could have broken a giraffe’s neck in more than two places! RVD(AJ) is holding his back, Brock(DW) is dead, and The Rock(Starlight) is still in shock over how he got hit with such force!
RVD(AJ) has now gingerly rolled into the ring, and is followed by a still-stunned Brock(DW), with The Rock(Starlight) still on the outside. RVD throws multiple forearms into Brock’s face, but Brock quickly gets wise to this, and ducks an arm, clasps his hands around RVD’s waist, and THROWS RVD INTO THE ROPES WITH A TEXTBOOK RELEASE GERMAN SULPEX! RVD has been tied up up-side down, with his arms wrapped around the top rope, and his neck resting on the second rope! Brock(DW) knows what he’s going to do next, but what is it? He flexes his shoulders, and DROPKICKS RVD’S HEAD! RVD flips over, and falls to the mat! Brock quickly goes for the cover:
One
Two
KICK OUT! RVD(AJ) managed to escape that tricky predicament the hard way, but can rebuild from here, I guess. Brock(DW) notices that The Rock(Starlight) is slowly getting up, opts to whip RVD, but RVD reverses; Brock hits the ropes; RVD hits the splits, but Brock drops a quick elbow, crushing RVD’s head! Brock again goes for the pinfall:
One
Two
KICK OUT! RVD(AJ) has escaped again, but must soon find some form of offence, to slow down the freight train that is Brock Lesnar(DW)! The Rock(Starlight) has now re-entered the ring, but is immediately set upon by Brock! Heavy rights and lefts raining down on the back of the champion, and is whipped into the ropes; Rock returns, but is caught by Brock in a sidewalk slam hold – this could be a pendulum back-breaker, a sidewalk slam, or whatever pops into that Heyman-poisoned mind of Brock Lesnar(DW)! Brock slowly wanders over to the corner, and is screaming for something…he’s calling for RVD to get up to the top rope! What for? RVD follows Lesnar’s instructions, and DROPS A HUGE CORKSCREW LEG DROP WITH A SIDEWALK SLAM! The Rock(Starlight) is being dangerously double-teamed, as the crowd starts to mercilessly boo the challengers! The Rock is picked up, and double-whipped into the ropes; RVD(AJ) drops down; The Rock leaps over him, but is caught by Brock(DW), who SPINEBUSTERS THE ROCK ONTO THE PRONE RVD! So much for teamwork! Brock hoists the champion to his feet, prepares to whip him into the ropes, but holds on, and clutches the waist of The Rock(Starlight) – BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX! The Rock has been thrown into the air, and landed right on his back! Brock again goes for a cover:
One
Two
KICK OUT! The Rock(Starlight) kicked out, due largely to the fact that Brock(DW) failed to grapevine the leg, but Rocky can start to attack Brock from here…RVD(AJ) is holding his probably-injured back, but has managed to sneak up on Brock, beating him on the neck, and kicking him in the stomach. Brock resists this attack, though, and pulls The Rock up by his head, and smashes RVD and Rock’s heads together! Brock flexes those unnatural shoulders again, and goes for a double clothesline – the pair duck, however; RVD kicks; The Rock punches; both connect – Brock(DW) is down! The Rock(Starlight) now sets to work on RVD(AJ), by kicking him in the gut, hitting a few punches, and now whips RVD into the ropes; RVD bounces off and leaps into the air – hurricanrana attempt, but The Rock holds on; RVD’s been hung out to dry, and now – PILEDRIVER BY THE ROCK! RVD is limp, and The Rock(Starlight) goes for a cover:
One
Two
KICK OUT! HOW DID HE DO IT?! That piledriver must have taken a lot out of RVD(AJ), and now will he be able to muster the strength to hit those high spots? That crucial aerial offence of Van Dam may have disappeared, right in front of our eyes! Brock(DW) has recovered, and is back up, and now starts to attack The Rock(Starlight) with vicious shots to the face, leading him near the corner but Van Dam has leapt like a slinky up to the top rope, and HITS A CROSS-BODY ON BOTH ROCK AND BROCK! Huge aerial and innovative manoeuvre by Van Dam, but can he capitalise from here? He covers The Rock, grape-vining the leg:
One
Two
KICK OUT! The Rock(Starlight) just saved his titles with that kick out, but will it be enough? RVD(AJ) retires to the outside, and starts to look underneath the ring for some sort of weapon, but what could it be? He seems to have something but wha…A LADDER! This will be illegal if he uses it on either opponent, but he’s not done yet! He pulled out two tables as well! The Rock(Starlight) is now stomping away on Brock(DW) in the corner, with little or no mercy! Van Dam, on the other hand, has set up the two tables, one stacked on the other, and has now positioned the folded-up ladder on the top table! He uses the ring to climb onto the tables, and now is setting up that ladder, on the top of the two tables! That’s a huge 20ft ladder set up on those tables, it even reaches high enough for the cel – oh no…Van Dam(AJ) is climbing that ladder, and I reckon it’s with the intention of *gulp*, climbing onto the suspended cell! He’s carefully made his way up to the top of the ladder, and he’s swearing to the crowd, but mainly to his opponents, daring them to follow his lead!
Brock(DW) has paid slightly too much attention to RVD(AJ), but The Rock(Starlight) has kept his wits about him, and has thrown Brock to the outside! He follows Brock to the outside, picks up The Next Big Thing, and whips him onto the guard barrier! The Rock runs straight for Brock, but Brock sidesteps him, and The Rock smashes into the guard rail himself! Brock, not wanting to lose any advantage, has whipped The Rock(Starlight) towards the tables and ladder formation, but Rocky rolled out the way, to the side of the tables and ladder. Van Dam(AJ), though, leapt onto the side of the cell, fearing for his safety (and possibly his life), and is now climbing the cell wall! Brock(DW) has jumped onto The Rock, and is hammering his back, restricting any movements The Rock may wish to make…but what is Van Dam doing? He’s looking down towards the other wrestlers, and is preparing to jump?! Oh my…NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOO! ASAI MOONSAULT OFF THE SUSPENDED CELL ONTO BROCK AND ROCK! OH MY GOD! That’s unbelievable! The crowd are shocked and amazed, and some are even applauding RVD for that sensational move!
RVD(AJ) is not moving, and neither is The Rock(Starlight), but somehow, Brock(DW) is?! Let’s take a look at the action replay:
*Action replay plays*
Van Dam moonsaulted off the cell onto his opponents, but THERE *slow motion* Van Dam hit his left knee right on The Rock’s head as he fell to the ground, probably knocking The Rock out cold.
*Back to live action*
Brock Lesnar(DW) has somehow managed to pick up The Rock(Starlight) and has rolled him gingerly into the ring. Brock too is in the ring, and now has covered the unconscious Rock:
One
Two
Three! That’s it! Brock Lesnar(DW) has beaten The Rock(Starlight) for the KOTR title, and The Rock has been eliminated! The crowd are incensed!
Finkel: “The winner of the first fall, and NEW KOTR Heavyweight Champion, The Next Big Thing, BROCK LESNAR! In consequence of this fall, The Rock has been eliminated from this match!”
The Rock(Starlight) has been eliminated, and now is being led away by some of our SRW referees. RVD(AJ) has regained some form of balance, and has rolled slowly into the ring, just as Damage Control (our crack team of EMTs and paramedics) head towards the ring with a stretcher! Brock(DW) can’t believe what he has accomplished, and now is celebrating with his newly-won title belt! RVD is still trying to stand up without support, as everyone in the arena tries to catch their breath!
DING! DING! DING!
Let the SRW title match begin! Some might argue that Brock doesn’t deserve to be in this fall, without the current (or it that now former) champion, The Rock(Starlight), and I’d be inclined to agree, but anyway, this second fall is underway!
The two men slowly circle the ring, until they both go for a collar and elbow tie-up, but separate. They go for one again, but again, they separate. A third attempt is made, and this time, Brock(DW) is able to get the upper hand, applying an arm-wringer to RVD(AJ). RVD reverses with an arm-wringer of his own, but Brock is able to apply a hammerlock on RVD, but RVD responds in kind…Brock wraps his arm around RVD’s head, into a headlock, but RVD leans back towards the ropes, and bounces off, trying to get Brock to relinquish his hold, but Brock holds on! RVD(AJ) tries again, and this time Brock(DW) is pushed off into the ropes. My God, this thing has turned into a wrestling match! Not for long though, as Brock hits a massive clothesline on his opponent, folding him up! Brock picks RVD up, positions him on the top turnbuckle, but – OOF! OOF! RVD kicks Brock away, hits a leaping forward roll off the turnbuckle, jumps and hits a STERLING FRONT-FLIP DROPKICK! Stunning move by RVD(AJ), as he immediately goes for a pin, but there are no pins in this match!
A frustrated RVD(AJ) gets up and starts to shout at the referee, much to the fans’ displeasure Who will they side with? They don’t like either one of them, but I’d say that the fans wouldn’t side with RVD, after his betrayal a mere fortnight ago. But we can never tell, at least until the fans actually do decide, anyway. Brock(DW) has got up to his feet, and is now staring out RVD(AJ), but not in his eyes; in his waist! I bet that Brock is looking to cinch in that Brock Lock: that ridiculously strong bear hug. If he can, he’ll be able to almost kill RVD, put him on that stretcher, and get him carted away, to become a double champion, and rule SRW! He makes a dive for RVD’s mid-section, but RVD realises his plan, and quickly gets out the way of this rabid predator, aching for some stomach meat. But RVD(AJ) is intent that he will not sacrifice the well-being of his torso just to quench the blood-thirst of Brock Lesnar(DW). Lesnar again goes for RVD’s mid-section, but RVD KNOCKS HIM SILLY WITH A PERFECTLY-TIMED SPINNING HEEL KICK! Precision-perfect timing by RVD! Decides against the call for the stretcher, instead going for a perfect BACKFLIP SPLASH on the downed Brock Lesnar. RVD is now going to the outside, but for what reason? He’s heading towards us, but he’s has gone for the timekeeper’s desk, and has picked up a chair! He holds it aloft, like the Holy Grail, and this has triggered huge chorus of “F**k him up, Lesnar, f**k him up!” from the crowd. They are putting all their weight behind that beast of a man, Brock Lesnar(DW). Perhaps this will be enough to push Brock to the SRW title, but Van Dam(AJ) can use a chair better than Beethoven could play his piano! Van Dam brings the chair with him into the ring, but is met by a ghoulish hammer-blow to the back by Lesnar, followed by a whip into the ropes; Van Dam comes back; gets caught and POWERSLAMMED by Brock! Powerslam and back to his feet in a single movement. Tremendous athleticism! Brock has set his eyes on the steel chair brought into the ring by Van Dam(AJ); he picks it up with the evillest of intentions, and looks toward the struggling RVD. The crowd is slowly coming to Brock’s support; they begin to chant his name as he prepares to cave in RVD’s skull (might be a tough job, considering the size of Van Dam’s head):
*BROCK, BROCK, BROCK – OOH! OOOOOHHHHHH!!*
Good Lord! Van Dam(AJ) was aware of Brock(DW)’s plan, so he swept Brock’s legs, away, forcing Brock to land flat on his face, the chair fell on the back of his head, and then Van Dam hit a supersonic somersault leg-drop, onto the chair laying on Brock’s head! RVD has called Damage Control over, and they try to lift Brock onto the stretcher; they get him onto the stretcher, but they don’t get him far! He comes to his senses, rolls off the stretcher, and sets upon Damage Control! He’s beating up the EMTs! But here comes the cavalry! A band of merry referees are here to save Maid Marion from the Sheriff of Nottingham, Brock Lesnar(DW)! They wrestle him away from the paramedics, and instruct him to re-enter the ring – he does, but RVD(AJ) is there, ready to dropkick him to high Heaven! RVD again picks up the chair and sets to work on Brock Lesnar, The Next Big Thing, the new KOTR champion…Brock is whipped into the ropes; RVD leapfrogs him; Brock returns; RVD hits the floor; Brock leaps over him; RVD’s up, and SMACKS BROCK WITH THE CHAIR! Right on the noggin! But Brock(DW)’s still up! RVD(AJ)’s takes over swing at him, and CRACKS THE SKULL! A second sickening chair shot by Van Dam! But Brock still stands up! Van Dam seems to have had about as much as he can take; he shoves Brock into the corner, and then RVD himself runs to the opposite end – he starts to run up; forward roll, but keeps hold of the cha – OH MY! RVD(AJ) just hit Brock with the chair after somersaulting first, then using the momentum to crack apart Brock(DW)’s head! Brock has been busted open after that shocking chair shot, and now Van Dam has called for Damage Control to cart Lesnar away! But Lesnar has leapt up! Right onto his feet! RVD is in shock, and fearing for his life, and with good reason! Brock is bleeding heavily from his forehead, and it’s dripping into his eyes, probably obscuring his vision considerably, and with Van Dam’s pace, his title chances may be disappearing as quickly as his vision!
RVD(AJ) kicks Brock(DW) in the gut, throws the chair towards Brock, VAN DAMINATOR MISSED – BROCK CAVES IN VAN DAM’S SKULL! Brocks drops the chair, and BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEXES RVD OVER THE TOP ROPE! RVD thrown onto the matted concrete below, and now Brock calls for the stretcher to be brought over, but Damage Control (or what’s left of them) are refusing! Brock(DW) beat the hell out of their team earlier on, and now they are refusing to carry RVD(AJ) out! The crowd cannot believe it; they’re booing the hell out of Damage Control – who would’ve thought that ANYONE would’ve cared that much about Damage Control? Brock is angry (VERY angry!) and is running towards the remaining members of Damage Control, who scatter to the back, but one of them wasn’t fast enough! The fattest EMT has been taken around the neck by Brock, and is gasping for air! But wait – RVD has smacked Brock on the back of the head with a chair! He drags Brock(DW) back to the ring, and pushes the ladder in as well! RVD(AJ) will wreak havoc with that thing if Brock doesn’t stop him! RVD picks up the ladder, and throws it on Brock’s head! It sets it up in the corner now, and proceeds to the top rope – he’s using the ladder as a pummel horse, to launch a huge SOMERSAULT LEG-DROP! Brock’s trachea could be crushed from that huge drop! Good Lord! RVD has gone to the outside, but is not calling for the stretcher; instead he’s taking it for himself, and positioning it just outside the ring, and now Brock could be in trouble! RVD(AJ) gets back in the ring, but Brock(DW) has got back up, with seemingly no ill effects from the wonderfully-tall leg-drop! RVD has been stunned into non-movement! Brock has had a Medusa-like effect on Van Dam – he just can’t move! Brock has RVD on his shoulders, on the side of the ring…you know what’s coming – F5 ONTO THE STRETCHER OUTSIDE THE RING! Van Dam has been destroyed, but there are no members of Damage Control left to wheel away Van Dam! What can Brock do from here, with no one to enable him to win the match?
Brock(DW) is perplexed – there is currently no way to win this match for him, so he cannot win the title! He looks at the broken body of RVD(AJ), but – WHAT THE - ?! THE LIGHTS HAVE CUT OUT! No one can see a thing! Whoever has done this has brought about an incredibly cheap ending to this match! I can’t see my hand in front of my face!
*CRACK! WHAM! SMACK! SMACK!*
What the hell was all that? What’s going on?! I still can’t see anything…WHAT THE HELL?!! The lights have come back on, but it’s revealed Brock(DW) has been strapped into the stretcher, and he has been laid upside-down in the corner! RVD(AQJ) is up again, and now he has placed the ladder in front of Brock’s face! He jumps to the top turnbuckle of the adjacent corner, and here comes the – VAN TERMINATOR! Oh……my…….God!! The ladder has gone straight into Brock(DW)’s face, and now – WHO THE HELL ARE THESE GUYS? Two men, dressed as the Grim Reaper, have come in, thrown Brock and the stretcher over the top rope, and are wheeling him out at a sprinting pace! Wait…NO! NO! RVD has won this match, as Brock has been wheeled out to the back, after that devastating Van Terminator! RVD(AJ) is the new Undisputed SRW Champ! The crowd cannot believe it, and neither can I! They’re booing at the loudest rate I’ve ever heard!
Finkel: “Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this fall, and NEW Undisputed SRW Heavyweight Champion of the World…Rob...Van…Dam!”
The crowd are jeering as loudly as they can…I mean, I’ve never heard such a showing of opposition to the champion of the world! Who the hell were those Grim Reapers? How did Van Dam pull that off? Who are The Powers That Be? Who cut the lights? We may never know, but we can ‘look forward’ to RVD(AJ)’s acceptance speech, next week on Eclipse! Tune in for that, and the aftermath of tonight’s epic of a wrestling match…goodnight Silverstone!
***
Phew…glad that’s over. It’s been bothering me for a few days now. So now we have a new tag team (soon to be confirmed; they’re just for promos and run-ins at the moment); Brock(DW) as the new KOTR champion, and RVD(AJ), the biggest heel in SRW, as the new SRW champ. Anyway, not my best, but still, any comments would be appreciated.
Right, Ant, I've got some ideas...
I'd like to take RVD on the biggest ego trip ever, much like the one in ECW in '97. Y'know, insult the fans, get usurped by the belt etc. Much the same as when Jericho won the title last year. Plus, there're tons of moves I can adapt in no-DQ matches with RVD.
Also, the Grim Reapers have to be developed, as do The Powers That Be. These can be dealt with quickly, and so won't cause a problem. I've already got some ideas for the Reapers, and they'll be revealed soon enough...
MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAaaa...
I'd like to take RVD on the biggest ego trip ever, much like the one in ECW in '97. Y'know, insult the fans, get usurped by the belt etc. Much the same as when Jericho won the title last year. Plus, there're tons of moves I can adapt in no-DQ matches with RVD.
Also, the Grim Reapers have to be developed, as do The Powers That Be. These can be dealt with quickly, and so won't cause a problem. I've already got some ideas for the Reapers, and they'll be revealed soon enough...
MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAaaa...
Woah! What a hella ending to the match, wasn't expecting those Grim Reaper guys. Very nice.
Good math throughout, action packed x5 if you ask me. :)
Good stuff. The Rock however is not pleased and will definently be doing something about it. *wink wink, nudge nudge
Good math throughout, action packed x5 if you ask me. :)
Good stuff. The Rock however is not pleased and will definently be doing something about it. *wink wink, nudge nudge
That match was probably the most inventive match I've ever read. I don't know what else to say. Amazing
Hmm...I'd like to develop the Grim Reapers (I've got some great ideas for that) and The Powers That Be, but other than that, perhaps bring some class to the Hardcore division some some cruiserweights being added to the mix? I'll think about it later, though, and may have some more ideas by then.
"What the hell was all that? What’s going on?! I still can’t see anything…WHAT THE HELL?!! The lights have come back on, but it’s revealed Brock(DW) has been strapped into the stretcher, and he has been laid upside-down in the corner! RVD(AQJ) is up again, and now he has placed the ladder in front of Brock’s face! He jumps to the top turnbuckle of the adjacent corner, and here comes the – VAN TERMINATOR! Oh……my…….God!!"
My favourite bit. :-)
Really brilliant stuff - I've probably never read a match this long, and it wasn't boring and un-original, as you'd expect from a huge match like this, but it was full of action, high-impact moves, and it even had me, as RVD winning the SRW World Title. :-D
Excellent stuff, and I just can't put into words how good that was to read. Well done. :-)
My favourite bit. :-)
Really brilliant stuff - I've probably never read a match this long, and it wasn't boring and un-original, as you'd expect from a huge match like this, but it was full of action, high-impact moves, and it even had me, as RVD winning the SRW World Title. :-D
Excellent stuff, and I just can't put into words how good that was to read. Well done. :-)
Okay, I'm gonna try and post a few of the numerous fantastic quotes from this awesome match:
"If I were a betting man, I would say that The Rock has the odds stacked against him – and since I am a betting man, that’s exactly what I have said…at the bookies! My money’s on Brock for both titles, and I’ve got my life’s savings on him!"
"...but will his anger become an advantage, or hinder his progress up the multi-runged ladder that are the SRW ranks?"
"That’s a huge 20ft ladder set up on those tables, it even reaches high enough for the cel – oh no…Van Dam(AJ) is climbing that ladder, and I reckon it’s with the intention of *gulp*, climbing onto the suspended cell!"
The use of an action replay too. And wait, one more:
"What the hell was all that? What’s going on?! I still can’t see anything…WHAT THE HELL?!! The lights have come back on, but it’s revealed Brock(DW) has been strapped into the stretcher, and he has been laid upside-down in the corner! RVD(AQJ) is up again, and now he has placed the ladder in front of Brock’s face! He jumps to the top turnbuckle of the adjacent corner, and here comes the – VAN TERMINATOR! Oh……my…….God!!"
There were many more, but I'll end up pasting the whole match. {:) That was brilliant - the problem with very long matches is that they can get tiresome, but I was enticed the whole way through! I loved the changes to the stipulations, the use of the cell, and the Grim Reapers...whoever they are. :D Congrats to AJ and DW!
If this doesn't win GAD I think I might cry. :D
PS - Obviously you'll want to continue this when we;re back in January, any ideas on what you want to write next?
"If I were a betting man, I would say that The Rock has the odds stacked against him – and since I am a betting man, that’s exactly what I have said…at the bookies! My money’s on Brock for both titles, and I’ve got my life’s savings on him!"
"...but will his anger become an advantage, or hinder his progress up the multi-runged ladder that are the SRW ranks?"
"That’s a huge 20ft ladder set up on those tables, it even reaches high enough for the cel – oh no…Van Dam(AJ) is climbing that ladder, and I reckon it’s with the intention of *gulp*, climbing onto the suspended cell!"
The use of an action replay too. And wait, one more:
"What the hell was all that? What’s going on?! I still can’t see anything…WHAT THE HELL?!! The lights have come back on, but it’s revealed Brock(DW) has been strapped into the stretcher, and he has been laid upside-down in the corner! RVD(AQJ) is up again, and now he has placed the ladder in front of Brock’s face! He jumps to the top turnbuckle of the adjacent corner, and here comes the – VAN TERMINATOR! Oh……my…….God!!"
There were many more, but I'll end up pasting the whole match. {:) That was brilliant - the problem with very long matches is that they can get tiresome, but I was enticed the whole way through! I loved the changes to the stipulations, the use of the cell, and the Grim Reapers...whoever they are. :D Congrats to AJ and DW!
If this doesn't win GAD I think I might cry. :D
PS - Obviously you'll want to continue this when we;re back in January, any ideas on what you want to write next?
CHAMPIIIIIIIONNNNNN! Whooo, SRW KOTR Champion! WHOOOO. Great match dude.
Absolutely fantastic! Not only have we got two new champions, The Rock couldn't defend his SRW title because he got eliminated. Innovative use of the match and plenty of questions to be answered in the new year.
Again, exceptional match. The Rock will definitely have something to say here.
Again, exceptional match. The Rock will definitely have something to say here.
What...A...Match!!!
Action packed and kept me entertained all the way through. Totally unexpected ending as well, which was good might i add.
Speaking of the ending, the questions that you asked are exactly mine..."Who the hell were those Grim Reapers? How did Van Dam pull that off? Who are The Powers That Be? Who cut the lights?"
:D
Tanfastic
Congrats to RVD (AJ) and Brock (DW).
Action packed and kept me entertained all the way through. Totally unexpected ending as well, which was good might i add.
Speaking of the ending, the questions that you asked are exactly mine..."Who the hell were those Grim Reapers? How did Van Dam pull that off? Who are The Powers That Be? Who cut the lights?"
:D
Tanfastic
Congrats to RVD (AJ) and Brock (DW).
SRW and KOTR titles - First fall KOTR, second fall SRW title.
The Rock (Starlight) V RVD (Afrojoe) V Brock Lesnar (DW)
Written by LL Cool TT
Tonight, ladies and gents, we’ve seen it all – Christian(Grandprix) beating Hurricane(RM19) in the first-ever Ironman Table Match, Scotty Dogg(Figo) retained the HardCAW title, and Eddie Guerrero(Cong Man) saw off Kurt Angle(Grandprix)’s challenge for the European title. However, now we progress to what could be the match of the night…notice the use of the word ‘could’ instead of ‘will’, because the HiAC will definitely over-shadow any and every match the competitors in SRW will be able to muster. Anywho, I digress…tonight, weeks of waiting finally come to an end. The two number 1 contenders for the KOTR and SRW titles are ready to challenge The Rock(Starlight) for both titles.
According to the rules *shuffles papers* ah yes, here it is, The Rock(Starlight) does not have to be pinned by either man to lose both of his titles! If I were a betting man, I would say that The Rock has the odds stacked against him – and since I am a betting man, that’s exactly what I have said…at the bookies! My money’s on Brock for both titles, and I’ve got my life’s savings on him! Right, we should be ready to start now, we’re awaiting the entrance of “The Whole F’N Show” Rob Van Dam…any minute now…just waiting until the music hits…it can’t be long now…
DING! DING! DING!
Referee Mike Chiota has stepped into the ring, and all the crowd have quietened down somewhat, paying attention to what this new centre of attention has to say…
Chiota: “I’ve been handed a note by someone claiming to be “The Powers That Be”, that the following match is NOT a two-fall match-up. They have commanded that the following match has the stipulations applied, detailed below. The first fall will be a normal Triple Threat match for the KOTR title. The winner of this first fall will be the first competitor to pin another wrestler, or make another wrestler submit. The wrestler who directly loses this fall will then BE ELIMINATED!”
The crowd bursts into a huge ball of electricity! The wrestler who is pinned in the first fall will be eliminated from the match! This means that should The Rock(Starlight) get pinned by, say, RVD(AJ), then The Rock wouldn’t have the chance to defend his Undisputed SRW title! This is huge! And who are these “Powers That Be”?
Chiota: “Wait a second, wait a second…it goes on. The two remaining competitors will then do battle for the Undisputed SRW Heavyweight Championship…in a Stretcher Match! This means that the first wrestler to injure his opponent to the extent whereby he must be carried out on a stretcher, wins!”
Oh my God! This is unbelievable! We may very well witness a show-stealer now! We’ve now had to change the booking. It’s now:
SRW and KOTR titles - First fall, loser eliminated, KOTR; second fall, stretcher match, SRW title.
The Rock (Starlight) V RVD (Afrojoe) V Brock Lesnar (DW)
Written by LL Cool TT
BOOM! “ONE OF A KIND!”
Rob Van Dam(AJ) is on his way to the ring, seemingly walking against a tidal-wave of abuse, booing and jeering, after his shocking betrayal of his legions of supporters in his No.1 Contenders’ Final two weeks ago:
Kane(Starlight) has kicked out, and RVD(AJ) is livid! He pulls Kane up until Kane is on his own two feet, but now RVD has dropped to his knees…? He is appealing to the referee, but hits a LOW, LOW BLOW, RIC FLAIR-STYLE! The crowd doesn’t know what to do, but a section of them are booing loudly! RVD(AJ) hasn’t experienced this in years, and he doesn’t know what to do, BUT HE GIVES THEM THE MIDDLE FINGER! The whole crowd has exploded into a huge chorus of raucous boos! RVD(AJ) is incensed; his fans were a huge advantage he had over his opponents, but now he’s gone and screwed all that up! The fans are chanting Kane’s name: “Kane, Kane, Kane!” The crowd seem to be as fickle as a 13-year old girl, and have switched allegiances in the blink of an eye!
That was truly a stunning reversal of praise, but will his unloading of what he described as ‘baggage’ help to either of the two titles up for grabs tonight? We’ll have to wait and see…
*BROCK LESNAR’S MUSIC HITS*
Here comes the pain! Brock(DW) is heading towards the ring, and you’ve gotta be able to smell the anger of RVD(AJ) towards Brock, after all, RVD had to win two marathon matches to get here, whereas all Brock had to do was to get his mouthpiece to have a sudden case of verbal diarrhoea, and so Brock(DW) got a title shot. I sympathize with that arrogant S O B, but will his anger become an advantage, or hinder his progress up the multi-runged ladder that are the SRW ranks? Brock leaps into the ring, and decides not to stare down his opponent, instead favouring intimidating referee Mike Chiota. RVD(AJ) watches Brock(DW)’s actions carefully, as Brock starts to mouth off to the ref about the upcoming match-up. Both challengers are now in the ring, awaiting their fate, the carrier of gold, the bearer of two titles: The Rock(Starlight)…
“IF YA SMEEEEEEEELLL – WHAT THE ROCK – IS COOKIN’”
The Rock(Starlight) is here! The crowd has literally exploded into a mass wave of cheering and sheer ecstasy! Good Lord, I can’t even hear myself talk, God only knows what it’s like for the competitors down in the ring! The Rock has stopped outside the ring, and is staring Brock(DW) in the face! Now Rocky goes up to the top turnbuckle (something you won’t see in an actual match), and holds his hand aloft! He’s carrying 20lbs of gold, showing that he is the champ(s)! The Rock hops into the ring, and now all three men are in the ring, as we wait for the bell…
DING! DING! DING!
Here we go! The wrestlers look reluctant to get started; no one wants to be the primary aggressor…the men just seem to be circling the ring, until Brock(DW) runs at RVD(AJ)! RVD ducks, though, and now the thumbs are up – R – V – what?! He stuck his middle finger up at the crowd for the ‘D’, just as the crowd seemed to be warming again to the arrogant, self-centred ‘person’; yet another example of our SRW fans fickleness. We are still waiting for the first offensive move of this contest, and it might come here, as The Rock(Starlight) charges at Lesnar(DW), but Brock escapes any punishment by swiftly dodging to the right. But now, RVD(AJ) has gone to the outside, and is calling for The Rock and Brock to get it on! But Rocky and Brock(y) instead head to the outside themselves, in hot pursuit of the yellow-bellied, yellow-livered, yellow leotard-wearing Van Dam! Van Dam(AJ) rolls back into the ring, though, but The Rock(Starlight) has followed Van Dam back into the ring, runs at RVD, but RVD flapjacks The Rock! And now, RVD runs towards the ropes and HITS A NO-TOUCH OVER-THE-TOP-ROPE TOPÉ ON BROCK! Wonderful aerial offence by RVD(AJ)! Van Dam gets back into the ring, but The Rock(Starlight) has recovered, and is now beating on RVD, right on the challenger’s back! He whips RVD into the ropes; RVD rolls over the champion’s back, and spin kicks him right in the mush! That’s painfully intelligent offence by Van Dam! He looks for the cover:
One
Two
KICK OUT! The Rock(Starlight) easily made it out of that one, but RVD(AJ) probably knew that he would, anyway, and is now pulling The Rock back up to a vertical base…sharp martial arts kicks to the gut of The Rock, and now the champ is whipped into the ropes; hits the other side, but Brock(DW) catches The Rock’s feet, forcing The Rock(Starlight) to the floor, face-first! Brock pulls The Rock outside, and CLOTHESLINES HIM TO THE GROUND! Hee-uge impact by Brock in that move! Sure, there’s no technical skill to it, but it works! But RVD has spotted this, and is preparing himself for an OVER-THE-TOP PLANCHA! – but Brock caught him! RVD(AJ) is neck-deep in trouble now, as he writhes in the clutches of The Next Big Thing…Brock(DW) power lifts Van Dam up, and brings him down for a huge back-breaker! He holds on, though, and OOH! A second painful back-breaker for The Whole F’N Show, and even those in Row Z could have felt that! Brock is still grasping RVD, as if he were a small deer, and Brock a rather large lion, or even a crocodile! RVD is lifted up again, but RVD manages to twist his way into a DDT! He spiked Brock there, everyone! That could have broken a giraffe’s neck in more than two places! RVD(AJ) is holding his back, Brock(DW) is dead, and The Rock(Starlight) is still in shock over how he got hit with such force!
RVD(AJ) has now gingerly rolled into the ring, and is followed by a still-stunned Brock(DW), with The Rock(Starlight) still on the outside. RVD throws multiple forearms into Brock’s face, but Brock quickly gets wise to this, and ducks an arm, clasps his hands around RVD’s waist, and THROWS RVD INTO THE ROPES WITH A TEXTBOOK RELEASE GERMAN SULPEX! RVD has been tied up up-side down, with his arms wrapped around the top rope, and his neck resting on the second rope! Brock(DW) knows what he’s going to do next, but what is it? He flexes his shoulders, and DROPKICKS RVD’S HEAD! RVD flips over, and falls to the mat! Brock quickly goes for the cover:
One
Two
KICK OUT! RVD(AJ) managed to escape that tricky predicament the hard way, but can rebuild from here, I guess. Brock(DW) notices that The Rock(Starlight) is slowly getting up, opts to whip RVD, but RVD reverses; Brock hits the ropes; RVD hits the splits, but Brock drops a quick elbow, crushing RVD’s head! Brock again goes for the pinfall:
One
Two
KICK OUT! RVD(AJ) has escaped again, but must soon find some form of offence, to slow down the freight train that is Brock Lesnar(DW)! The Rock(Starlight) has now re-entered the ring, but is immediately set upon by Brock! Heavy rights and lefts raining down on the back of the champion, and is whipped into the ropes; Rock returns, but is caught by Brock in a sidewalk slam hold – this could be a pendulum back-breaker, a sidewalk slam, or whatever pops into that Heyman-poisoned mind of Brock Lesnar(DW)! Brock slowly wanders over to the corner, and is screaming for something…he’s calling for RVD to get up to the top rope! What for? RVD follows Lesnar’s instructions, and DROPS A HUGE CORKSCREW LEG DROP WITH A SIDEWALK SLAM! The Rock(Starlight) is being dangerously double-teamed, as the crowd starts to mercilessly boo the challengers! The Rock is picked up, and double-whipped into the ropes; RVD(AJ) drops down; The Rock leaps over him, but is caught by Brock(DW), who SPINEBUSTERS THE ROCK ONTO THE PRONE RVD! So much for teamwork! Brock hoists the champion to his feet, prepares to whip him into the ropes, but holds on, and clutches the waist of The Rock(Starlight) – BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX! The Rock has been thrown into the air, and landed right on his back! Brock again goes for a cover:
One
Two
KICK OUT! The Rock(Starlight) kicked out, due largely to the fact that Brock(DW) failed to grapevine the leg, but Rocky can start to attack Brock from here…RVD(AJ) is holding his probably-injured back, but has managed to sneak up on Brock, beating him on the neck, and kicking him in the stomach. Brock resists this attack, though, and pulls The Rock up by his head, and smashes RVD and Rock’s heads together! Brock flexes those unnatural shoulders again, and goes for a double clothesline – the pair duck, however; RVD kicks; The Rock punches; both connect – Brock(DW) is down! The Rock(Starlight) now sets to work on RVD(AJ), by kicking him in the gut, hitting a few punches, and now whips RVD into the ropes; RVD bounces off and leaps into the air – hurricanrana attempt, but The Rock holds on; RVD’s been hung out to dry, and now – PILEDRIVER BY THE ROCK! RVD is limp, and The Rock(Starlight) goes for a cover:
One
Two
KICK OUT! HOW DID HE DO IT?! That piledriver must have taken a lot out of RVD(AJ), and now will he be able to muster the strength to hit those high spots? That crucial aerial offence of Van Dam may have disappeared, right in front of our eyes! Brock(DW) has recovered, and is back up, and now starts to attack The Rock(Starlight) with vicious shots to the face, leading him near the corner but Van Dam has leapt like a slinky up to the top rope, and HITS A CROSS-BODY ON BOTH ROCK AND BROCK! Huge aerial and innovative manoeuvre by Van Dam, but can he capitalise from here? He covers The Rock, grape-vining the leg:
One
Two
KICK OUT! The Rock(Starlight) just saved his titles with that kick out, but will it be enough? RVD(AJ) retires to the outside, and starts to look underneath the ring for some sort of weapon, but what could it be? He seems to have something but wha…A LADDER! This will be illegal if he uses it on either opponent, but he’s not done yet! He pulled out two tables as well! The Rock(Starlight) is now stomping away on Brock(DW) in the corner, with little or no mercy! Van Dam, on the other hand, has set up the two tables, one stacked on the other, and has now positioned the folded-up ladder on the top table! He uses the ring to climb onto the tables, and now is setting up that ladder, on the top of the two tables! That’s a huge 20ft ladder set up on those tables, it even reaches high enough for the cel – oh no…Van Dam(AJ) is climbing that ladder, and I reckon it’s with the intention of *gulp*, climbing onto the suspended cell! He’s carefully made his way up to the top of the ladder, and he’s swearing to the crowd, but mainly to his opponents, daring them to follow his lead!
Brock(DW) has paid slightly too much attention to RVD(AJ), but The Rock(Starlight) has kept his wits about him, and has thrown Brock to the outside! He follows Brock to the outside, picks up The Next Big Thing, and whips him onto the guard barrier! The Rock runs straight for Brock, but Brock sidesteps him, and The Rock smashes into the guard rail himself! Brock, not wanting to lose any advantage, has whipped The Rock(Starlight) towards the tables and ladder formation, but Rocky rolled out the way, to the side of the tables and ladder. Van Dam(AJ), though, leapt onto the side of the cell, fearing for his safety (and possibly his life), and is now climbing the cell wall! Brock(DW) has jumped onto The Rock, and is hammering his back, restricting any movements The Rock may wish to make…but what is Van Dam doing? He’s looking down towards the other wrestlers, and is preparing to jump?! Oh my…NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOO! ASAI MOONSAULT OFF THE SUSPENDED CELL ONTO BROCK AND ROCK! OH MY GOD! That’s unbelievable! The crowd are shocked and amazed, and some are even applauding RVD for that sensational move!
RVD(AJ) is not moving, and neither is The Rock(Starlight), but somehow, Brock(DW) is?! Let’s take a look at the action replay:
*Action replay plays*
Van Dam moonsaulted off the cell onto his opponents, but THERE *slow motion* Van Dam hit his left knee right on The Rock’s head as he fell to the ground, probably knocking The Rock out cold.
*Back to live action*
Brock Lesnar(DW) has somehow managed to pick up The Rock(Starlight) and has rolled him gingerly into the ring. Brock too is in the ring, and now has covered the unconscious Rock:
One
Two
Three! That’s it! Brock Lesnar(DW) has beaten The Rock(Starlight) for the KOTR title, and The Rock has been eliminated! The crowd are incensed!
Finkel: “The winner of the first fall, and NEW KOTR Heavyweight Champion, The Next Big Thing, BROCK LESNAR! In consequence of this fall, The Rock has been eliminated from this match!”
The Rock(Starlight) has been eliminated, and now is being led away by some of our SRW referees. RVD(AJ) has regained some form of balance, and has rolled slowly into the ring, just as Damage Control (our crack team of EMTs and paramedics) head towards the ring with a stretcher! Brock(DW) can’t believe what he has accomplished, and now is celebrating with his newly-won title belt! RVD is still trying to stand up without support, as everyone in the arena tries to catch their breath!
DING! DING! DING!
Let the SRW title match begin! Some might argue that Brock doesn’t deserve to be in this fall, without the current (or it that now former) champion, The Rock(Starlight), and I’d be inclined to agree, but anyway, this second fall is underway!
The two men slowly circle the ring, until they both go for a collar and elbow tie-up, but separate. They go for one again, but again, they separate. A third attempt is made, and this time, Brock(DW) is able to get the upper hand, applying an arm-wringer to RVD(AJ). RVD reverses with an arm-wringer of his own, but Brock is able to apply a hammerlock on RVD, but RVD responds in kind…Brock wraps his arm around RVD’s head, into a headlock, but RVD leans back towards the ropes, and bounces off, trying to get Brock to relinquish his hold, but Brock holds on! RVD(AJ) tries again, and this time Brock(DW) is pushed off into the ropes. My God, this thing has turned into a wrestling match! Not for long though, as Brock hits a massive clothesline on his opponent, folding him up! Brock picks RVD up, positions him on the top turnbuckle, but – OOF! OOF! RVD kicks Brock away, hits a leaping forward roll off the turnbuckle, jumps and hits a STERLING FRONT-FLIP DROPKICK! Stunning move by RVD(AJ), as he immediately goes for a pin, but there are no pins in this match!
A frustrated RVD(AJ) gets up and starts to shout at the referee, much to the fans’ displeasure Who will they side with? They don’t like either one of them, but I’d say that the fans wouldn’t side with RVD, after his betrayal a mere fortnight ago. But we can never tell, at least until the fans actually do decide, anyway. Brock(DW) has got up to his feet, and is now staring out RVD(AJ), but not in his eyes; in his waist! I bet that Brock is looking to cinch in that Brock Lock: that ridiculously strong bear hug. If he can, he’ll be able to almost kill RVD, put him on that stretcher, and get him carted away, to become a double champion, and rule SRW! He makes a dive for RVD’s mid-section, but RVD realises his plan, and quickly gets out the way of this rabid predator, aching for some stomach meat. But RVD(AJ) is intent that he will not sacrifice the well-being of his torso just to quench the blood-thirst of Brock Lesnar(DW). Lesnar again goes for RVD’s mid-section, but RVD KNOCKS HIM SILLY WITH A PERFECTLY-TIMED SPINNING HEEL KICK! Precision-perfect timing by RVD! Decides against the call for the stretcher, instead going for a perfect BACKFLIP SPLASH on the downed Brock Lesnar. RVD is now going to the outside, but for what reason? He’s heading towards us, but he’s has gone for the timekeeper’s desk, and has picked up a chair! He holds it aloft, like the Holy Grail, and this has triggered huge chorus of “F**k him up, Lesnar, f**k him up!” from the crowd. They are putting all their weight behind that beast of a man, Brock Lesnar(DW). Perhaps this will be enough to push Brock to the SRW title, but Van Dam(AJ) can use a chair better than Beethoven could play his piano! Van Dam brings the chair with him into the ring, but is met by a ghoulish hammer-blow to the back by Lesnar, followed by a whip into the ropes; Van Dam comes back; gets caught and POWERSLAMMED by Brock! Powerslam and back to his feet in a single movement. Tremendous athleticism! Brock has set his eyes on the steel chair brought into the ring by Van Dam(AJ); he picks it up with the evillest of intentions, and looks toward the struggling RVD. The crowd is slowly coming to Brock’s support; they begin to chant his name as he prepares to cave in RVD’s skull (might be a tough job, considering the size of Van Dam’s head):
*BROCK, BROCK, BROCK – OOH! OOOOOHHHHHH!!*
Good Lord! Van Dam(AJ) was aware of Brock(DW)’s plan, so he swept Brock’s legs, away, forcing Brock to land flat on his face, the chair fell on the back of his head, and then Van Dam hit a supersonic somersault leg-drop, onto the chair laying on Brock’s head! RVD has called Damage Control over, and they try to lift Brock onto the stretcher; they get him onto the stretcher, but they don’t get him far! He comes to his senses, rolls off the stretcher, and sets upon Damage Control! He’s beating up the EMTs! But here comes the cavalry! A band of merry referees are here to save Maid Marion from the Sheriff of Nottingham, Brock Lesnar(DW)! They wrestle him away from the paramedics, and instruct him to re-enter the ring – he does, but RVD(AJ) is there, ready to dropkick him to high Heaven! RVD again picks up the chair and sets to work on Brock Lesnar, The Next Big Thing, the new KOTR champion…Brock is whipped into the ropes; RVD leapfrogs him; Brock returns; RVD hits the floor; Brock leaps over him; RVD’s up, and SMACKS BROCK WITH THE CHAIR! Right on the noggin! But Brock(DW)’s still up! RVD(AJ)’s takes over swing at him, and CRACKS THE SKULL! A second sickening chair shot by Van Dam! But Brock still stands up! Van Dam seems to have had about as much as he can take; he shoves Brock into the corner, and then RVD himself runs to the opposite end – he starts to run up; forward roll, but keeps hold of the cha – OH MY! RVD(AJ) just hit Brock with the chair after somersaulting first, then using the momentum to crack apart Brock(DW)’s head! Brock has been busted open after that shocking chair shot, and now Van Dam has called for Damage Control to cart Lesnar away! But Lesnar has leapt up! Right onto his feet! RVD is in shock, and fearing for his life, and with good reason! Brock is bleeding heavily from his forehead, and it’s dripping into his eyes, probably obscuring his vision considerably, and with Van Dam’s pace, his title chances may be disappearing as quickly as his vision!
RVD(AJ) kicks Brock(DW) in the gut, throws the chair towards Brock, VAN DAMINATOR MISSED – BROCK CAVES IN VAN DAM’S SKULL! Brocks drops the chair, and BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEXES RVD OVER THE TOP ROPE! RVD thrown onto the matted concrete below, and now Brock calls for the stretcher to be brought over, but Damage Control (or what’s left of them) are refusing! Brock(DW) beat the hell out of their team earlier on, and now they are refusing to carry RVD(AJ) out! The crowd cannot believe it; they’re booing the hell out of Damage Control – who would’ve thought that ANYONE would’ve cared that much about Damage Control? Brock is angry (VERY angry!) and is running towards the remaining members of Damage Control, who scatter to the back, but one of them wasn’t fast enough! The fattest EMT has been taken around the neck by Brock, and is gasping for air! But wait – RVD has smacked Brock on the back of the head with a chair! He drags Brock(DW) back to the ring, and pushes the ladder in as well! RVD(AJ) will wreak havoc with that thing if Brock doesn’t stop him! RVD picks up the ladder, and throws it on Brock’s head! It sets it up in the corner now, and proceeds to the top rope – he’s using the ladder as a pummel horse, to launch a huge SOMERSAULT LEG-DROP! Brock’s trachea could be crushed from that huge drop! Good Lord! RVD has gone to the outside, but is not calling for the stretcher; instead he’s taking it for himself, and positioning it just outside the ring, and now Brock could be in trouble! RVD(AJ) gets back in the ring, but Brock(DW) has got back up, with seemingly no ill effects from the wonderfully-tall leg-drop! RVD has been stunned into non-movement! Brock has had a Medusa-like effect on Van Dam – he just can’t move! Brock has RVD on his shoulders, on the side of the ring…you know what’s coming – F5 ONTO THE STRETCHER OUTSIDE THE RING! Van Dam has been destroyed, but there are no members of Damage Control left to wheel away Van Dam! What can Brock do from here, with no one to enable him to win the match?
Brock(DW) is perplexed – there is currently no way to win this match for him, so he cannot win the title! He looks at the broken body of RVD(AJ), but – WHAT THE - ?! THE LIGHTS HAVE CUT OUT! No one can see a thing! Whoever has done this has brought about an incredibly cheap ending to this match! I can’t see my hand in front of my face!
*CRACK! WHAM! SMACK! SMACK!*
What the hell was all that? What’s going on?! I still can’t see anything…WHAT THE HELL?!! The lights have come back on, but it’s revealed Brock(DW) has been strapped into the stretcher, and he has been laid upside-down in the corner! RVD(AQJ) is up again, and now he has placed the ladder in front of Brock’s face! He jumps to the top turnbuckle of the adjacent corner, and here comes the – VAN TERMINATOR! Oh……my…….God!! The ladder has gone straight into Brock(DW)’s face, and now – WHO THE HELL ARE THESE GUYS? Two men, dressed as the Grim Reaper, have come in, thrown Brock and the stretcher over the top rope, and are wheeling him out at a sprinting pace! Wait…NO! NO! RVD has won this match, as Brock has been wheeled out to the back, after that devastating Van Terminator! RVD(AJ) is the new Undisputed SRW Champ! The crowd cannot believe it, and neither can I! They’re booing at the loudest rate I’ve ever heard!
Finkel: “Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this fall, and NEW Undisputed SRW Heavyweight Champion of the World…Rob...Van…Dam!”
The crowd are jeering as loudly as they can…I mean, I’ve never heard such a showing of opposition to the champion of the world! Who the hell were those Grim Reapers? How did Van Dam pull that off? Who are The Powers That Be? Who cut the lights? We may never know, but we can ‘look forward’ to RVD(AJ)’s acceptance speech, next week on Eclipse! Tune in for that, and the aftermath of tonight’s epic of a wrestling match…goodnight Silverstone!
***
Phew…glad that’s over. It’s been bothering me for a few days now. So now we have a new tag team (soon to be confirmed; they’re just for promos and run-ins at the moment); Brock(DW) as the new KOTR champion, and RVD(AJ), the biggest heel in SRW, as the new SRW champ. Anyway, not my best, but still, any comments would be appreciated.
The Rock (Starlight) V RVD (Afrojoe) V Brock Lesnar (DW)
Written by LL Cool TT
Tonight, ladies and gents, we’ve seen it all – Christian(Grandprix) beating Hurricane(RM19) in the first-ever Ironman Table Match, Scotty Dogg(Figo) retained the HardCAW title, and Eddie Guerrero(Cong Man) saw off Kurt Angle(Grandprix)’s challenge for the European title. However, now we progress to what could be the match of the night…notice the use of the word ‘could’ instead of ‘will’, because the HiAC will definitely over-shadow any and every match the competitors in SRW will be able to muster. Anywho, I digress…tonight, weeks of waiting finally come to an end. The two number 1 contenders for the KOTR and SRW titles are ready to challenge The Rock(Starlight) for both titles.
According to the rules *shuffles papers* ah yes, here it is, The Rock(Starlight) does not have to be pinned by either man to lose both of his titles! If I were a betting man, I would say that The Rock has the odds stacked against him – and since I am a betting man, that’s exactly what I have said…at the bookies! My money’s on Brock for both titles, and I’ve got my life’s savings on him! Right, we should be ready to start now, we’re awaiting the entrance of “The Whole F’N Show” Rob Van Dam…any minute now…just waiting until the music hits…it can’t be long now…
DING! DING! DING!
Referee Mike Chiota has stepped into the ring, and all the crowd have quietened down somewhat, paying attention to what this new centre of attention has to say…
Chiota: “I’ve been handed a note by someone claiming to be “The Powers That Be”, that the following match is NOT a two-fall match-up. They have commanded that the following match has the stipulations applied, detailed below. The first fall will be a normal Triple Threat match for the KOTR title. The winner of this first fall will be the first competitor to pin another wrestler, or make another wrestler submit. The wrestler who directly loses this fall will then BE ELIMINATED!”
The crowd bursts into a huge ball of electricity! The wrestler who is pinned in the first fall will be eliminated from the match! This means that should The Rock(Starlight) get pinned by, say, RVD(AJ), then The Rock wouldn’t have the chance to defend his Undisputed SRW title! This is huge! And who are these “Powers That Be”?
Chiota: “Wait a second, wait a second…it goes on. The two remaining competitors will then do battle for the Undisputed SRW Heavyweight Championship…in a Stretcher Match! This means that the first wrestler to injure his opponent to the extent whereby he must be carried out on a stretcher, wins!”
Oh my God! This is unbelievable! We may very well witness a show-stealer now! We’ve now had to change the booking. It’s now:
SRW and KOTR titles - First fall, loser eliminated, KOTR; second fall, stretcher match, SRW title.
The Rock (Starlight) V RVD (Afrojoe) V Brock Lesnar (DW)
Written by LL Cool TT
BOOM! “ONE OF A KIND!”
Rob Van Dam(AJ) is on his way to the ring, seemingly walking against a tidal-wave of abuse, booing and jeering, after his shocking betrayal of his legions of supporters in his No.1 Contenders’ Final two weeks ago:
Kane(Starlight) has kicked out, and RVD(AJ) is livid! He pulls Kane up until Kane is on his own two feet, but now RVD has dropped to his knees…? He is appealing to the referee, but hits a LOW, LOW BLOW, RIC FLAIR-STYLE! The crowd doesn’t know what to do, but a section of them are booing loudly! RVD(AJ) hasn’t experienced this in years, and he doesn’t know what to do, BUT HE GIVES THEM THE MIDDLE FINGER! The whole crowd has exploded into a huge chorus of raucous boos! RVD(AJ) is incensed; his fans were a huge advantage he had over his opponents, but now he’s gone and screwed all that up! The fans are chanting Kane’s name: “Kane, Kane, Kane!” The crowd seem to be as fickle as a 13-year old girl, and have switched allegiances in the blink of an eye!
That was truly a stunning reversal of praise, but will his unloading of what he described as ‘baggage’ help to either of the two titles up for grabs tonight? We’ll have to wait and see…
*BROCK LESNAR’S MUSIC HITS*
Here comes the pain! Brock(DW) is heading towards the ring, and you’ve gotta be able to smell the anger of RVD(AJ) towards Brock, after all, RVD had to win two marathon matches to get here, whereas all Brock had to do was to get his mouthpiece to have a sudden case of verbal diarrhoea, and so Brock(DW) got a title shot. I sympathize with that arrogant S O B, but will his anger become an advantage, or hinder his progress up the multi-runged ladder that are the SRW ranks? Brock leaps into the ring, and decides not to stare down his opponent, instead favouring intimidating referee Mike Chiota. RVD(AJ) watches Brock(DW)’s actions carefully, as Brock starts to mouth off to the ref about the upcoming match-up. Both challengers are now in the ring, awaiting their fate, the carrier of gold, the bearer of two titles: The Rock(Starlight)…
“IF YA SMEEEEEEEELLL – WHAT THE ROCK – IS COOKIN’”
The Rock(Starlight) is here! The crowd has literally exploded into a mass wave of cheering and sheer ecstasy! Good Lord, I can’t even hear myself talk, God only knows what it’s like for the competitors down in the ring! The Rock has stopped outside the ring, and is staring Brock(DW) in the face! Now Rocky goes up to the top turnbuckle (something you won’t see in an actual match), and holds his hand aloft! He’s carrying 20lbs of gold, showing that he is the champ(s)! The Rock hops into the ring, and now all three men are in the ring, as we wait for the bell…
DING! DING! DING!
Here we go! The wrestlers look reluctant to get started; no one wants to be the primary aggressor…the men just seem to be circling the ring, until Brock(DW) runs at RVD(AJ)! RVD ducks, though, and now the thumbs are up – R – V – what?! He stuck his middle finger up at the crowd for the ‘D’, just as the crowd seemed to be warming again to the arrogant, self-centred ‘person’; yet another example of our SRW fans fickleness. We are still waiting for the first offensive move of this contest, and it might come here, as The Rock(Starlight) charges at Lesnar(DW), but Brock escapes any punishment by swiftly dodging to the right. But now, RVD(AJ) has gone to the outside, and is calling for The Rock and Brock to get it on! But Rocky and Brock(y) instead head to the outside themselves, in hot pursuit of the yellow-bellied, yellow-livered, yellow leotard-wearing Van Dam! Van Dam(AJ) rolls back into the ring, though, but The Rock(Starlight) has followed Van Dam back into the ring, runs at RVD, but RVD flapjacks The Rock! And now, RVD runs towards the ropes and HITS A NO-TOUCH OVER-THE-TOP-ROPE TOPÉ ON BROCK! Wonderful aerial offence by RVD(AJ)! Van Dam gets back into the ring, but The Rock(Starlight) has recovered, and is now beating on RVD, right on the challenger’s back! He whips RVD into the ropes; RVD rolls over the champion’s back, and spin kicks him right in the mush! That’s painfully intelligent offence by Van Dam! He looks for the cover:
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KICK OUT! The Rock(Starlight) easily made it out of that one, but RVD(AJ) probably knew that he would, anyway, and is now pulling The Rock back up to a vertical base…sharp martial arts kicks to the gut of The Rock, and now the champ is whipped into the ropes; hits the other side, but Brock(DW) catches The Rock’s feet, forcing The Rock(Starlight) to the floor, face-first! Brock pulls The Rock outside, and CLOTHESLINES HIM TO THE GROUND! Hee-uge impact by Brock in that move! Sure, there’s no technical skill to it, but it works! But RVD has spotted this, and is preparing himself for an OVER-THE-TOP PLANCHA! – but Brock caught him! RVD(AJ) is neck-deep in trouble now, as he writhes in the clutches of The Next Big Thing…Brock(DW) power lifts Van Dam up, and brings him down for a huge back-breaker! He holds on, though, and OOH! A second painful back-breaker for The Whole F’N Show, and even those in Row Z could have felt that! Brock is still grasping RVD, as if he were a small deer, and Brock a rather large lion, or even a crocodile! RVD is lifted up again, but RVD manages to twist his way into a DDT! He spiked Brock there, everyone! That could have broken a giraffe’s neck in more than two places! RVD(AJ) is holding his back, Brock(DW) is dead, and The Rock(Starlight) is still in shock over how he got hit with such force!
RVD(AJ) has now gingerly rolled into the ring, and is followed by a still-stunned Brock(DW), with The Rock(Starlight) still on the outside. RVD throws multiple forearms into Brock’s face, but Brock quickly gets wise to this, and ducks an arm, clasps his hands around RVD’s waist, and THROWS RVD INTO THE ROPES WITH A TEXTBOOK RELEASE GERMAN SULPEX! RVD has been tied up up-side down, with his arms wrapped around the top rope, and his neck resting on the second rope! Brock(DW) knows what he’s going to do next, but what is it? He flexes his shoulders, and DROPKICKS RVD’S HEAD! RVD flips over, and falls to the mat! Brock quickly goes for the cover:
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KICK OUT! RVD(AJ) managed to escape that tricky predicament the hard way, but can rebuild from here, I guess. Brock(DW) notices that The Rock(Starlight) is slowly getting up, opts to whip RVD, but RVD reverses; Brock hits the ropes; RVD hits the splits, but Brock drops a quick elbow, crushing RVD’s head! Brock again goes for the pinfall:
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KICK OUT! RVD(AJ) has escaped again, but must soon find some form of offence, to slow down the freight train that is Brock Lesnar(DW)! The Rock(Starlight) has now re-entered the ring, but is immediately set upon by Brock! Heavy rights and lefts raining down on the back of the champion, and is whipped into the ropes; Rock returns, but is caught by Brock in a sidewalk slam hold – this could be a pendulum back-breaker, a sidewalk slam, or whatever pops into that Heyman-poisoned mind of Brock Lesnar(DW)! Brock slowly wanders over to the corner, and is screaming for something…he’s calling for RVD to get up to the top rope! What for? RVD follows Lesnar’s instructions, and DROPS A HUGE CORKSCREW LEG DROP WITH A SIDEWALK SLAM! The Rock(Starlight) is being dangerously double-teamed, as the crowd starts to mercilessly boo the challengers! The Rock is picked up, and double-whipped into the ropes; RVD(AJ) drops down; The Rock leaps over him, but is caught by Brock(DW), who SPINEBUSTERS THE ROCK ONTO THE PRONE RVD! So much for teamwork! Brock hoists the champion to his feet, prepares to whip him into the ropes, but holds on, and clutches the waist of The Rock(Starlight) – BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX! The Rock has been thrown into the air, and landed right on his back! Brock again goes for a cover:
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KICK OUT! The Rock(Starlight) kicked out, due largely to the fact that Brock(DW) failed to grapevine the leg, but Rocky can start to attack Brock from here…RVD(AJ) is holding his probably-injured back, but has managed to sneak up on Brock, beating him on the neck, and kicking him in the stomach. Brock resists this attack, though, and pulls The Rock up by his head, and smashes RVD and Rock’s heads together! Brock flexes those unnatural shoulders again, and goes for a double clothesline – the pair duck, however; RVD kicks; The Rock punches; both connect – Brock(DW) is down! The Rock(Starlight) now sets to work on RVD(AJ), by kicking him in the gut, hitting a few punches, and now whips RVD into the ropes; RVD bounces off and leaps into the air – hurricanrana attempt, but The Rock holds on; RVD’s been hung out to dry, and now – PILEDRIVER BY THE ROCK! RVD is limp, and The Rock(Starlight) goes for a cover:
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KICK OUT! HOW DID HE DO IT?! That piledriver must have taken a lot out of RVD(AJ), and now will he be able to muster the strength to hit those high spots? That crucial aerial offence of Van Dam may have disappeared, right in front of our eyes! Brock(DW) has recovered, and is back up, and now starts to attack The Rock(Starlight) with vicious shots to the face, leading him near the corner but Van Dam has leapt like a slinky up to the top rope, and HITS A CROSS-BODY ON BOTH ROCK AND BROCK! Huge aerial and innovative manoeuvre by Van Dam, but can he capitalise from here? He covers The Rock, grape-vining the leg:
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KICK OUT! The Rock(Starlight) just saved his titles with that kick out, but will it be enough? RVD(AJ) retires to the outside, and starts to look underneath the ring for some sort of weapon, but what could it be? He seems to have something but wha…A LADDER! This will be illegal if he uses it on either opponent, but he’s not done yet! He pulled out two tables as well! The Rock(Starlight) is now stomping away on Brock(DW) in the corner, with little or no mercy! Van Dam, on the other hand, has set up the two tables, one stacked on the other, and has now positioned the folded-up ladder on the top table! He uses the ring to climb onto the tables, and now is setting up that ladder, on the top of the two tables! That’s a huge 20ft ladder set up on those tables, it even reaches high enough for the cel – oh no…Van Dam(AJ) is climbing that ladder, and I reckon it’s with the intention of *gulp*, climbing onto the suspended cell! He’s carefully made his way up to the top of the ladder, and he’s swearing to the crowd, but mainly to his opponents, daring them to follow his lead!
Brock(DW) has paid slightly too much attention to RVD(AJ), but The Rock(Starlight) has kept his wits about him, and has thrown Brock to the outside! He follows Brock to the outside, picks up The Next Big Thing, and whips him onto the guard barrier! The Rock runs straight for Brock, but Brock sidesteps him, and The Rock smashes into the guard rail himself! Brock, not wanting to lose any advantage, has whipped The Rock(Starlight) towards the tables and ladder formation, but Rocky rolled out the way, to the side of the tables and ladder. Van Dam(AJ), though, leapt onto the side of the cell, fearing for his safety (and possibly his life), and is now climbing the cell wall! Brock(DW) has jumped onto The Rock, and is hammering his back, restricting any movements The Rock may wish to make…but what is Van Dam doing? He’s looking down towards the other wrestlers, and is preparing to jump?! Oh my…NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOO! ASAI MOONSAULT OFF THE SUSPENDED CELL ONTO BROCK AND ROCK! OH MY GOD! That’s unbelievable! The crowd are shocked and amazed, and some are even applauding RVD for that sensational move!
RVD(AJ) is not moving, and neither is The Rock(Starlight), but somehow, Brock(DW) is?! Let’s take a look at the action replay:
*Action replay plays*
Van Dam moonsaulted off the cell onto his opponents, but THERE *slow motion* Van Dam hit his left knee right on The Rock’s head as he fell to the ground, probably knocking The Rock out cold.
*Back to live action*
Brock Lesnar(DW) has somehow managed to pick up The Rock(Starlight) and has rolled him gingerly into the ring. Brock too is in the ring, and now has covered the unconscious Rock:
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Three! That’s it! Brock Lesnar(DW) has beaten The Rock(Starlight) for the KOTR title, and The Rock has been eliminated! The crowd are incensed!
Finkel: “The winner of the first fall, and NEW KOTR Heavyweight Champion, The Next Big Thing, BROCK LESNAR! In consequence of this fall, The Rock has been eliminated from this match!”
The Rock(Starlight) has been eliminated, and now is being led away by some of our SRW referees. RVD(AJ) has regained some form of balance, and has rolled slowly into the ring, just as Damage Control (our crack team of EMTs and paramedics) head towards the ring with a stretcher! Brock(DW) can’t believe what he has accomplished, and now is celebrating with his newly-won title belt! RVD is still trying to stand up without support, as everyone in the arena tries to catch their breath!
DING! DING! DING!
Let the SRW title match begin! Some might argue that Brock doesn’t deserve to be in this fall, without the current (or it that now former) champion, The Rock(Starlight), and I’d be inclined to agree, but anyway, this second fall is underway!
The two men slowly circle the ring, until they both go for a collar and elbow tie-up, but separate. They go for one again, but again, they separate. A third attempt is made, and this time, Brock(DW) is able to get the upper hand, applying an arm-wringer to RVD(AJ). RVD reverses with an arm-wringer of his own, but Brock is able to apply a hammerlock on RVD, but RVD responds in kind…Brock wraps his arm around RVD’s head, into a headlock, but RVD leans back towards the ropes, and bounces off, trying to get Brock to relinquish his hold, but Brock holds on! RVD(AJ) tries again, and this time Brock(DW) is pushed off into the ropes. My God, this thing has turned into a wrestling match! Not for long though, as Brock hits a massive clothesline on his opponent, folding him up! Brock picks RVD up, positions him on the top turnbuckle, but – OOF! OOF! RVD kicks Brock away, hits a leaping forward roll off the turnbuckle, jumps and hits a STERLING FRONT-FLIP DROPKICK! Stunning move by RVD(AJ), as he immediately goes for a pin, but there are no pins in this match!
A frustrated RVD(AJ) gets up and starts to shout at the referee, much to the fans’ displeasure Who will they side with? They don’t like either one of them, but I’d say that the fans wouldn’t side with RVD, after his betrayal a mere fortnight ago. But we can never tell, at least until the fans actually do decide, anyway. Brock(DW) has got up to his feet, and is now staring out RVD(AJ), but not in his eyes; in his waist! I bet that Brock is looking to cinch in that Brock Lock: that ridiculously strong bear hug. If he can, he’ll be able to almost kill RVD, put him on that stretcher, and get him carted away, to become a double champion, and rule SRW! He makes a dive for RVD’s mid-section, but RVD realises his plan, and quickly gets out the way of this rabid predator, aching for some stomach meat. But RVD(AJ) is intent that he will not sacrifice the well-being of his torso just to quench the blood-thirst of Brock Lesnar(DW). Lesnar again goes for RVD’s mid-section, but RVD KNOCKS HIM SILLY WITH A PERFECTLY-TIMED SPINNING HEEL KICK! Precision-perfect timing by RVD! Decides against the call for the stretcher, instead going for a perfect BACKFLIP SPLASH on the downed Brock Lesnar. RVD is now going to the outside, but for what reason? He’s heading towards us, but he’s has gone for the timekeeper’s desk, and has picked up a chair! He holds it aloft, like the Holy Grail, and this has triggered huge chorus of “F**k him up, Lesnar, f**k him up!” from the crowd. They are putting all their weight behind that beast of a man, Brock Lesnar(DW). Perhaps this will be enough to push Brock to the SRW title, but Van Dam(AJ) can use a chair better than Beethoven could play his piano! Van Dam brings the chair with him into the ring, but is met by a ghoulish hammer-blow to the back by Lesnar, followed by a whip into the ropes; Van Dam comes back; gets caught and POWERSLAMMED by Brock! Powerslam and back to his feet in a single movement. Tremendous athleticism! Brock has set his eyes on the steel chair brought into the ring by Van Dam(AJ); he picks it up with the evillest of intentions, and looks toward the struggling RVD. The crowd is slowly coming to Brock’s support; they begin to chant his name as he prepares to cave in RVD’s skull (might be a tough job, considering the size of Van Dam’s head):
*BROCK, BROCK, BROCK – OOH! OOOOOHHHHHH!!*
Good Lord! Van Dam(AJ) was aware of Brock(DW)’s plan, so he swept Brock’s legs, away, forcing Brock to land flat on his face, the chair fell on the back of his head, and then Van Dam hit a supersonic somersault leg-drop, onto the chair laying on Brock’s head! RVD has called Damage Control over, and they try to lift Brock onto the stretcher; they get him onto the stretcher, but they don’t get him far! He comes to his senses, rolls off the stretcher, and sets upon Damage Control! He’s beating up the EMTs! But here comes the cavalry! A band of merry referees are here to save Maid Marion from the Sheriff of Nottingham, Brock Lesnar(DW)! They wrestle him away from the paramedics, and instruct him to re-enter the ring – he does, but RVD(AJ) is there, ready to dropkick him to high Heaven! RVD again picks up the chair and sets to work on Brock Lesnar, The Next Big Thing, the new KOTR champion…Brock is whipped into the ropes; RVD leapfrogs him; Brock returns; RVD hits the floor; Brock leaps over him; RVD’s up, and SMACKS BROCK WITH THE CHAIR! Right on the noggin! But Brock(DW)’s still up! RVD(AJ)’s takes over swing at him, and CRACKS THE SKULL! A second sickening chair shot by Van Dam! But Brock still stands up! Van Dam seems to have had about as much as he can take; he shoves Brock into the corner, and then RVD himself runs to the opposite end – he starts to run up; forward roll, but keeps hold of the cha – OH MY! RVD(AJ) just hit Brock with the chair after somersaulting first, then using the momentum to crack apart Brock(DW)’s head! Brock has been busted open after that shocking chair shot, and now Van Dam has called for Damage Control to cart Lesnar away! But Lesnar has leapt up! Right onto his feet! RVD is in shock, and fearing for his life, and with good reason! Brock is bleeding heavily from his forehead, and it’s dripping into his eyes, probably obscuring his vision considerably, and with Van Dam’s pace, his title chances may be disappearing as quickly as his vision!
RVD(AJ) kicks Brock(DW) in the gut, throws the chair towards Brock, VAN DAMINATOR MISSED – BROCK CAVES IN VAN DAM’S SKULL! Brocks drops the chair, and BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEXES RVD OVER THE TOP ROPE! RVD thrown onto the matted concrete below, and now Brock calls for the stretcher to be brought over, but Damage Control (or what’s left of them) are refusing! Brock(DW) beat the hell out of their team earlier on, and now they are refusing to carry RVD(AJ) out! The crowd cannot believe it; they’re booing the hell out of Damage Control – who would’ve thought that ANYONE would’ve cared that much about Damage Control? Brock is angry (VERY angry!) and is running towards the remaining members of Damage Control, who scatter to the back, but one of them wasn’t fast enough! The fattest EMT has been taken around the neck by Brock, and is gasping for air! But wait – RVD has smacked Brock on the back of the head with a chair! He drags Brock(DW) back to the ring, and pushes the ladder in as well! RVD(AJ) will wreak havoc with that thing if Brock doesn’t stop him! RVD picks up the ladder, and throws it on Brock’s head! It sets it up in the corner now, and proceeds to the top rope – he’s using the ladder as a pummel horse, to launch a huge SOMERSAULT LEG-DROP! Brock’s trachea could be crushed from that huge drop! Good Lord! RVD has gone to the outside, but is not calling for the stretcher; instead he’s taking it for himself, and positioning it just outside the ring, and now Brock could be in trouble! RVD(AJ) gets back in the ring, but Brock(DW) has got back up, with seemingly no ill effects from the wonderfully-tall leg-drop! RVD has been stunned into non-movement! Brock has had a Medusa-like effect on Van Dam – he just can’t move! Brock has RVD on his shoulders, on the side of the ring…you know what’s coming – F5 ONTO THE STRETCHER OUTSIDE THE RING! Van Dam has been destroyed, but there are no members of Damage Control left to wheel away Van Dam! What can Brock do from here, with no one to enable him to win the match?
Brock(DW) is perplexed – there is currently no way to win this match for him, so he cannot win the title! He looks at the broken body of RVD(AJ), but – WHAT THE - ?! THE LIGHTS HAVE CUT OUT! No one can see a thing! Whoever has done this has brought about an incredibly cheap ending to this match! I can’t see my hand in front of my face!
*CRACK! WHAM! SMACK! SMACK!*
What the hell was all that? What’s going on?! I still can’t see anything…WHAT THE HELL?!! The lights have come back on, but it’s revealed Brock(DW) has been strapped into the stretcher, and he has been laid upside-down in the corner! RVD(AQJ) is up again, and now he has placed the ladder in front of Brock’s face! He jumps to the top turnbuckle of the adjacent corner, and here comes the – VAN TERMINATOR! Oh……my…….God!! The ladder has gone straight into Brock(DW)’s face, and now – WHO THE HELL ARE THESE GUYS? Two men, dressed as the Grim Reaper, have come in, thrown Brock and the stretcher over the top rope, and are wheeling him out at a sprinting pace! Wait…NO! NO! RVD has won this match, as Brock has been wheeled out to the back, after that devastating Van Terminator! RVD(AJ) is the new Undisputed SRW Champ! The crowd cannot believe it, and neither can I! They’re booing at the loudest rate I’ve ever heard!
Finkel: “Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this fall, and NEW Undisputed SRW Heavyweight Champion of the World…Rob...Van…Dam!”
The crowd are jeering as loudly as they can…I mean, I’ve never heard such a showing of opposition to the champion of the world! Who the hell were those Grim Reapers? How did Van Dam pull that off? Who are The Powers That Be? Who cut the lights? We may never know, but we can ‘look forward’ to RVD(AJ)’s acceptance speech, next week on Eclipse! Tune in for that, and the aftermath of tonight’s epic of a wrestling match…goodnight Silverstone!
***
Phew…glad that’s over. It’s been bothering me for a few days now. So now we have a new tag team (soon to be confirmed; they’re just for promos and run-ins at the moment); Brock(DW) as the new KOTR champion, and RVD(AJ), the biggest heel in SRW, as the new SRW champ. Anyway, not my best, but still, any comments would be appreciated.