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That's right, Christmas is near and female popstars are singing about sleeping with santa, male singers are harmonising about bells on fingers, and kids are wishing their house had a chimney to make it easier for Santa to come and pay them a visit. Should we really trust a guy with a big red suit who claims to be many a hundred years old with the contents of our homes whilst we sleep?
Ok, ok, you could argue he is a saint. Saint Nicholas to be precise. But does that make him innocent? When he steals your cherry you left to oxidise overnight, or eats your mince pies you left on the coffee table overnight for your convinience, do you often wonder whether this saint is a sinner? Sure, your parents may have told you that they left them out as a present for Santa to say thankyou for delivering all the presents, but surely if that was the case, then they would be encouraging the drink-driving of Santa and his reindeer, which wouldn't make for quiet landings on other kids roofs.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm ever so grateful of recieving all those presents, even if it is at the cost of this man knowing the entire contents of my house, and what I do in it, but I am not so sure if I trust this guy. After all, he carries an extremely large sack around with him, and no matter where in the world he is, his sack never seems to shrink, from the Christmas cards I've seen anyway. So how is he keeping his sack so full? Maybe he is making a five fingered discount at the shops as he's travelling around the world, or maybe he's just stealing from your homes, distracting you with presents so you don't notice that Aunt' Betty's holiday slides have been stolen.
On the subject of visiting shops, I have a theory that that is where a certain Father Christmas is trying to build up his knowledge of what shops stock what products for him to knick. But it gets worse from here. He charges the children's parents to have their kids sit on his knee. Surely there are laws about getting this close to a child whom you don't know. What is worse is Santa then asks what these kids want for Christmas. He knows by doing this, he'll have some idea what the parents are buying the children. Then, he gives them a present. Doesn't he just love trying to make children smile? Its sickening isn't it! You hear about strangers giving children sweets...
It gets even worse though!! According to some songs, Santa knows whether you are naughty or nice. Oh, sure, reward the perfect people in society why don't you! Forget about those who make one little mistake during the three-hundred - and sixty-five days inbetween Christmas's! Isn't knowing what we've been doing for the last year an invasion of our privacy? Pervert!
So do you still feel confident about this bearded man in a big red suit? I'm not so sure. I'm going to lock my windows, hide the cherry and make sure I lock away those mince pies as I want my Christmas morning to be a happy and unspoilt one.
You have been warned!
Ok, ok, you could argue he is a saint. Saint Nicholas to be precise. But does that make him innocent? When he steals your cherry you left to oxidise overnight, or eats your mince pies you left on the coffee table overnight for your convinience, do you often wonder whether this saint is a sinner? Sure, your parents may have told you that they left them out as a present for Santa to say thankyou for delivering all the presents, but surely if that was the case, then they would be encouraging the drink-driving of Santa and his reindeer, which wouldn't make for quiet landings on other kids roofs.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm ever so grateful of recieving all those presents, even if it is at the cost of this man knowing the entire contents of my house, and what I do in it, but I am not so sure if I trust this guy. After all, he carries an extremely large sack around with him, and no matter where in the world he is, his sack never seems to shrink, from the Christmas cards I've seen anyway. So how is he keeping his sack so full? Maybe he is making a five fingered discount at the shops as he's travelling around the world, or maybe he's just stealing from your homes, distracting you with presents so you don't notice that Aunt' Betty's holiday slides have been stolen.
On the subject of visiting shops, I have a theory that that is where a certain Father Christmas is trying to build up his knowledge of what shops stock what products for him to knick. But it gets worse from here. He charges the children's parents to have their kids sit on his knee. Surely there are laws about getting this close to a child whom you don't know. What is worse is Santa then asks what these kids want for Christmas. He knows by doing this, he'll have some idea what the parents are buying the children. Then, he gives them a present. Doesn't he just love trying to make children smile? Its sickening isn't it! You hear about strangers giving children sweets...
It gets even worse though!! According to some songs, Santa knows whether you are naughty or nice. Oh, sure, reward the perfect people in society why don't you! Forget about those who make one little mistake during the three-hundred - and sixty-five days inbetween Christmas's! Isn't knowing what we've been doing for the last year an invasion of our privacy? Pervert!
So do you still feel confident about this bearded man in a big red suit? I'm not so sure. I'm going to lock my windows, hide the cherry and make sure I lock away those mince pies as I want my Christmas morning to be a happy and unspoilt one.
You have been warned!
Doors, I mean
:P
:P
And windows.
*Locks windows*
So Santa is going arouns stealing your childrens cherries?
*snickers*
Does he pop them or just eat them?
*snickers*
Does he pop them or just eat them?
That's right, Christmas is near and female popstars are singing about sleeping with santa, male singers are harmonising about bells on fingers, and kids are wishing their house had a chimney to make it easier for Santa to come and pay them a visit. Should we really trust a guy with a big red suit who claims to be many a hundred years old with the contents of our homes whilst we sleep?
Ok, ok, you could argue he is a saint. Saint Nicholas to be precise. But does that make him innocent? When he steals your cherry you left to oxidise overnight, or eats your mince pies you left on the coffee table overnight for your convinience, do you often wonder whether this saint is a sinner? Sure, your parents may have told you that they left them out as a present for Santa to say thankyou for delivering all the presents, but surely if that was the case, then they would be encouraging the drink-driving of Santa and his reindeer, which wouldn't make for quiet landings on other kids roofs.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm ever so grateful of recieving all those presents, even if it is at the cost of this man knowing the entire contents of my house, and what I do in it, but I am not so sure if I trust this guy. After all, he carries an extremely large sack around with him, and no matter where in the world he is, his sack never seems to shrink, from the Christmas cards I've seen anyway. So how is he keeping his sack so full? Maybe he is making a five fingered discount at the shops as he's travelling around the world, or maybe he's just stealing from your homes, distracting you with presents so you don't notice that Aunt' Betty's holiday slides have been stolen.
On the subject of visiting shops, I have a theory that that is where a certain Father Christmas is trying to build up his knowledge of what shops stock what products for him to knick. But it gets worse from here. He charges the children's parents to have their kids sit on his knee. Surely there are laws about getting this close to a child whom you don't know. What is worse is Santa then asks what these kids want for Christmas. He knows by doing this, he'll have some idea what the parents are buying the children. Then, he gives them a present. Doesn't he just love trying to make children smile? Its sickening isn't it! You hear about strangers giving children sweets...
It gets even worse though!! According to some songs, Santa knows whether you are naughty or nice. Oh, sure, reward the perfect people in society why don't you! Forget about those who make one little mistake during the three-hundred - and sixty-five days inbetween Christmas's! Isn't knowing what we've been doing for the last year an invasion of our privacy? Pervert!
So do you still feel confident about this bearded man in a big red suit? I'm not so sure. I'm going to lock my windows, hide the cherry and make sure I lock away those mince pies as I want my Christmas morning to be a happy and unspoilt one.
You have been warned!
Ok, ok, you could argue he is a saint. Saint Nicholas to be precise. But does that make him innocent? When he steals your cherry you left to oxidise overnight, or eats your mince pies you left on the coffee table overnight for your convinience, do you often wonder whether this saint is a sinner? Sure, your parents may have told you that they left them out as a present for Santa to say thankyou for delivering all the presents, but surely if that was the case, then they would be encouraging the drink-driving of Santa and his reindeer, which wouldn't make for quiet landings on other kids roofs.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm ever so grateful of recieving all those presents, even if it is at the cost of this man knowing the entire contents of my house, and what I do in it, but I am not so sure if I trust this guy. After all, he carries an extremely large sack around with him, and no matter where in the world he is, his sack never seems to shrink, from the Christmas cards I've seen anyway. So how is he keeping his sack so full? Maybe he is making a five fingered discount at the shops as he's travelling around the world, or maybe he's just stealing from your homes, distracting you with presents so you don't notice that Aunt' Betty's holiday slides have been stolen.
On the subject of visiting shops, I have a theory that that is where a certain Father Christmas is trying to build up his knowledge of what shops stock what products for him to knick. But it gets worse from here. He charges the children's parents to have their kids sit on his knee. Surely there are laws about getting this close to a child whom you don't know. What is worse is Santa then asks what these kids want for Christmas. He knows by doing this, he'll have some idea what the parents are buying the children. Then, he gives them a present. Doesn't he just love trying to make children smile? Its sickening isn't it! You hear about strangers giving children sweets...
It gets even worse though!! According to some songs, Santa knows whether you are naughty or nice. Oh, sure, reward the perfect people in society why don't you! Forget about those who make one little mistake during the three-hundred - and sixty-five days inbetween Christmas's! Isn't knowing what we've been doing for the last year an invasion of our privacy? Pervert!
So do you still feel confident about this bearded man in a big red suit? I'm not so sure. I'm going to lock my windows, hide the cherry and make sure I lock away those mince pies as I want my Christmas morning to be a happy and unspoilt one.
You have been warned!