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Imagine a cross between Harvest Moon and Monkey Island. Then you get The Office -The Game, hosted by David Brent, aka moi.
You see the games industry is full of these rip off sequels and endless ports. The industry needs brightening, it needs an injection of what I like to call entertaining humour, meaning getting the best out of a product whilst knowing the makers have had a laugh getting it produced, yeah?
In the game, all ideas registered to me, you control a successful paper merchant. Of course this is fantasy. I've been in the business twelve years and I've seen people fall by the wayside why I've continued to grow in stature. But its letting the gamers, aka all of you, have the opportunity, yeah?, of being able to take on my role and try and be as successful as me, of course the game won't allow you to be as successful as me but its about giving the opportunity.
You'll have the opportunity to employ and fire, something I would never consider but then no pressure, staff. Its about investment in people. Hopefully by putting this game in front of the ordinary person, I can teach the world that it is important to work for the people. You know, say you are walking down the street and an old man, or woman, drops their shopping, you know, you would pick up their shopping and help them carry their shopping home with them. Unless they are living off benefits, you know, I've given them help by the taxes, I don't need to put myself out twice.
You must train your staff in order to get good ideas across and improve your team's performance. You know, look at it as a fat man. The more training he does the more weight he loses, and the more efficient he becomes. You know, no more Mr Porky. Rid your team of losers and make them winners without damaging morale. Morale. A key word in my book. You know, you keep one worker happy if its by raising their salary or adding humour to the work environment, then you are going to benefit with more work produced. Unconditional trust. In the game you will receive and be expected to give it out. You know, stand by your staff. I think it was a modern philosopher who said, "Stand by me, nobody knows the way its going to be". Noel Gallagher. By standing by your work force, you are riding over the hills of not knowing and not withstanding the consequences of a minor debacle.
The graphics will be simple. You know, you look at an ugly man. You forget that inside they are as special as you and me, except they can't see and therefore could not work in a workplace of such. Its more about knowing what you are doing then being fascinated by little visuals. The sound will be different. I used to be in a band, Foregone Conclusion, so I naw think that sound should be ignored. The songs will be supplied by me, one because its quality output...and that it saves money on licensing.
Would I buy this game? You know, would I have to prove to everyone again that I can run and help nurture a family to great business things. I don't think so. But it gives the gamer the opportunity to see what my jobs like. Yeah, I hear the critics saying how boring it is why they are typing away stuff bored with their lives, yeah, why I'm having the time of my life. Buy the game, if not to donate to charity. Yes proceeds will be going to a charity of my choice, probably one for sick children. Have fun whilst learning about business from a man who knows more than most...anyone. Learn in entertainment.
If the game is a success, I don't want people to keep banging on about what a genius I am because of this. I am merely giving the ordinary people the chance to be a happy, funny, successful man, aka me, for a small sum of money. I want to share my ideas with the gaming community, the little nerds on their computers who have no girlfriends and no life, helping the less fortunate.
You see the games industry is full of these rip off sequels and endless ports. The industry needs brightening, it needs an injection of what I like to call entertaining humour, meaning getting the best out of a product whilst knowing the makers have had a laugh getting it produced, yeah?
In the game, all ideas registered to me, you control a successful paper merchant. Of course this is fantasy. I've been in the business twelve years and I've seen people fall by the wayside why I've continued to grow in stature. But its letting the gamers, aka all of you, have the opportunity, yeah?, of being able to take on my role and try and be as successful as me, of course the game won't allow you to be as successful as me but its about giving the opportunity.
You'll have the opportunity to employ and fire, something I would never consider but then no pressure, staff. Its about investment in people. Hopefully by putting this game in front of the ordinary person, I can teach the world that it is important to work for the people. You know, say you are walking down the street and an old man, or woman, drops their shopping, you know, you would pick up their shopping and help them carry their shopping home with them. Unless they are living off benefits, you know, I've given them help by the taxes, I don't need to put myself out twice.
You must train your staff in order to get good ideas across and improve your team's performance. You know, look at it as a fat man. The more training he does the more weight he loses, and the more efficient he becomes. You know, no more Mr Porky. Rid your team of losers and make them winners without damaging morale. Morale. A key word in my book. You know, you keep one worker happy if its by raising their salary or adding humour to the work environment, then you are going to benefit with more work produced. Unconditional trust. In the game you will receive and be expected to give it out. You know, stand by your staff. I think it was a modern philosopher who said, "Stand by me, nobody knows the way its going to be". Noel Gallagher. By standing by your work force, you are riding over the hills of not knowing and not withstanding the consequences of a minor debacle.
The graphics will be simple. You know, you look at an ugly man. You forget that inside they are as special as you and me, except they can't see and therefore could not work in a workplace of such. Its more about knowing what you are doing then being fascinated by little visuals. The sound will be different. I used to be in a band, Foregone Conclusion, so I naw think that sound should be ignored. The songs will be supplied by me, one because its quality output...and that it saves money on licensing.
Would I buy this game? You know, would I have to prove to everyone again that I can run and help nurture a family to great business things. I don't think so. But it gives the gamer the opportunity to see what my jobs like. Yeah, I hear the critics saying how boring it is why they are typing away stuff bored with their lives, yeah, why I'm having the time of my life. Buy the game, if not to donate to charity. Yes proceeds will be going to a charity of my choice, probably one for sick children. Have fun whilst learning about business from a man who knows more than most...anyone. Learn in entertainment.
If the game is a success, I don't want people to keep banging on about what a genius I am because of this. I am merely giving the ordinary people the chance to be a happy, funny, successful man, aka me, for a small sum of money. I want to share my ideas with the gaming community, the little nerds on their computers who have no girlfriends and no life, helping the less fortunate.
You should do a post like this for the amazing Alan Partridge - A-ha!
Top post!
And a worthy winner.
And a worthy winner.
Imagine a cross between Harvest Moon and Monkey Island. Then you get The Office -The Game, hosted by David Brent, aka moi.
You see the games industry is full of these rip off sequels and endless ports. The industry needs brightening, it needs an injection of what I like to call entertaining humour, meaning getting the best out of a product whilst knowing the makers have had a laugh getting it produced, yeah?
In the game, all ideas registered to me, you control a successful paper merchant. Of course this is fantasy. I've been in the business twelve years and I've seen people fall by the wayside why I've continued to grow in stature. But its letting the gamers, aka all of you, have the opportunity, yeah?, of being able to take on my role and try and be as successful as me, of course the game won't allow you to be as successful as me but its about giving the opportunity.
You'll have the opportunity to employ and fire, something I would never consider but then no pressure, staff. Its about investment in people. Hopefully by putting this game in front of the ordinary person, I can teach the world that it is important to work for the people. You know, say you are walking down the street and an old man, or woman, drops their shopping, you know, you would pick up their shopping and help them carry their shopping home with them. Unless they are living off benefits, you know, I've given them help by the taxes, I don't need to put myself out twice.
You must train your staff in order to get good ideas across and improve your team's performance. You know, look at it as a fat man. The more training he does the more weight he loses, and the more efficient he becomes. You know, no more Mr Porky. Rid your team of losers and make them winners without damaging morale. Morale. A key word in my book. You know, you keep one worker happy if its by raising their salary or adding humour to the work environment, then you are going to benefit with more work produced. Unconditional trust. In the game you will receive and be expected to give it out. You know, stand by your staff. I think it was a modern philosopher who said, "Stand by me, nobody knows the way its going to be". Noel Gallagher. By standing by your work force, you are riding over the hills of not knowing and not withstanding the consequences of a minor debacle.
The graphics will be simple. You know, you look at an ugly man. You forget that inside they are as special as you and me, except they can't see and therefore could not work in a workplace of such. Its more about knowing what you are doing then being fascinated by little visuals. The sound will be different. I used to be in a band, Foregone Conclusion, so I naw think that sound should be ignored. The songs will be supplied by me, one because its quality output...and that it saves money on licensing.
Would I buy this game? You know, would I have to prove to everyone again that I can run and help nurture a family to great business things. I don't think so. But it gives the gamer the opportunity to see what my jobs like. Yeah, I hear the critics saying how boring it is why they are typing away stuff bored with their lives, yeah, why I'm having the time of my life. Buy the game, if not to donate to charity. Yes proceeds will be going to a charity of my choice, probably one for sick children. Have fun whilst learning about business from a man who knows more than most...anyone. Learn in entertainment.
If the game is a success, I don't want people to keep banging on about what a genius I am because of this. I am merely giving the ordinary people the chance to be a happy, funny, successful man, aka me, for a small sum of money. I want to share my ideas with the gaming community, the little nerds on their computers who have no girlfriends and no life, helping the less fortunate.
You see the games industry is full of these rip off sequels and endless ports. The industry needs brightening, it needs an injection of what I like to call entertaining humour, meaning getting the best out of a product whilst knowing the makers have had a laugh getting it produced, yeah?
In the game, all ideas registered to me, you control a successful paper merchant. Of course this is fantasy. I've been in the business twelve years and I've seen people fall by the wayside why I've continued to grow in stature. But its letting the gamers, aka all of you, have the opportunity, yeah?, of being able to take on my role and try and be as successful as me, of course the game won't allow you to be as successful as me but its about giving the opportunity.
You'll have the opportunity to employ and fire, something I would never consider but then no pressure, staff. Its about investment in people. Hopefully by putting this game in front of the ordinary person, I can teach the world that it is important to work for the people. You know, say you are walking down the street and an old man, or woman, drops their shopping, you know, you would pick up their shopping and help them carry their shopping home with them. Unless they are living off benefits, you know, I've given them help by the taxes, I don't need to put myself out twice.
You must train your staff in order to get good ideas across and improve your team's performance. You know, look at it as a fat man. The more training he does the more weight he loses, and the more efficient he becomes. You know, no more Mr Porky. Rid your team of losers and make them winners without damaging morale. Morale. A key word in my book. You know, you keep one worker happy if its by raising their salary or adding humour to the work environment, then you are going to benefit with more work produced. Unconditional trust. In the game you will receive and be expected to give it out. You know, stand by your staff. I think it was a modern philosopher who said, "Stand by me, nobody knows the way its going to be". Noel Gallagher. By standing by your work force, you are riding over the hills of not knowing and not withstanding the consequences of a minor debacle.
The graphics will be simple. You know, you look at an ugly man. You forget that inside they are as special as you and me, except they can't see and therefore could not work in a workplace of such. Its more about knowing what you are doing then being fascinated by little visuals. The sound will be different. I used to be in a band, Foregone Conclusion, so I naw think that sound should be ignored. The songs will be supplied by me, one because its quality output...and that it saves money on licensing.
Would I buy this game? You know, would I have to prove to everyone again that I can run and help nurture a family to great business things. I don't think so. But it gives the gamer the opportunity to see what my jobs like. Yeah, I hear the critics saying how boring it is why they are typing away stuff bored with their lives, yeah, why I'm having the time of my life. Buy the game, if not to donate to charity. Yes proceeds will be going to a charity of my choice, probably one for sick children. Have fun whilst learning about business from a man who knows more than most...anyone. Learn in entertainment.
If the game is a success, I don't want people to keep banging on about what a genius I am because of this. I am merely giving the ordinary people the chance to be a happy, funny, successful man, aka me, for a small sum of money. I want to share my ideas with the gaming community, the little nerds on their computers who have no girlfriends and no life, helping the less fortunate.