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Hello and welcome to another Open University educational program. This program has been specially designed and selected for you. Remember to make notes and follow the instructions given in certain parts of the program, your teacher will test you afterwards so no note passing, chatting or general fiddling about under the tables.
Today we shall be talking about socks. But not just any sock subject, the “universal national reaction enthusiasts astrological location (unreal)” theory.
Now I’m sure all of you have lost an odd sock at one point in your life, *patronizing laugh* I know I have. Over the past few years the amount of socks have been decreasing rapidly throwing the world sock exchange into turmoil. This is due to tiny black holes appearing and sucking them up. Black holes are basically heavy pieces of dark-matter that eats everything near them (like a miniature Lisa rilea) including light. Normally they’re harmless (unlike Lisa rilea) but under the right conditions they can appear out of dark-matter and suck up small items such as a sock.
First of all we have to get all technical and claim that:
Left sock = x and right sock = y
The thing with x is that it has 2 less neutrons in the nucleus’s of its cells then y, it’s still made of the same elements as y but it’s a tiny bit lighter and highly radioactive. (Write that down)
Using our knowledge of the universe we know that the sun runs around the earth trying to get dark-matter in an honorable game of kiss-chase. (That is why when it is sunny on one side of the world its dark on the other.)
Because y is heavier than x the earth pulls on it harder using gravity so the bonds between the 2 socks become weaker. As night falls the dark-matter covers the side of the earth trying to hide from the sun.
Then x gives off mama (m) radiation that attracts the black holes to it (we believe the black hole enjoys the taste of mama radiation as it is also given off by small children who too disappear at nighttime). So as the bonds between the 2 socks are weakened it sucks the x sock up into a dimension known only as Manchester (if you watch eastenders you will know that no one or thing ever comes back from Manchester).
Experiment 1 : Method - we placed 3 ‘x’ socks in 3 different locations over night and tested the results.
[Sock A] – sock A was placed on the coffee table in the living room of a east London home who’s family were staying the night in a bed and breakfast paid for by the open university. The window was left slightly open so that dark matter could get in. (write that down)
[sock B] – sock B was put in the middle of a blast furnace
[sock C] – sock C was left in a back alley down town
We came by the next day to each location and took results.
Results –
[Sock A] – stepping over the broken glass and muddy foot prints the police told us to avoid we noticed that not only had the sock gone, but so had the table, the TV, the dvd player, the stereo system (in fact everything in value that was in the house)
[sock B] - just as we had hoped, when the furnace was opened the sock had completely vanished leaving only a mysterious pile of ash.
[sock C] – as we entered the alley we found something or should I say someone quite strange. Instead of disappearing the sock had miraculously created inside it a tramp’s left foot connected to the tramp itself.
And now over to a guy who’s never had sex, wears a lab coat to bed and has 12 species of fleas in his foot long dark grey beard.
Science dude – “as you can see *pulls out a extendable pointing stick and slaps it against a graph on the wall* sock A and B have disappeared. You can tell this by the fact that their lines are parallel to the square root of the gradient, also it says it here *pulls out a piece of paper from his beard*. In sock A’s case there was a child resident who lived there which would cause the levels of mama (m) radiation to be higher so it obviously attracted a bigger black hole that ate everything. With sock B we found the typical example of a disappearing sock… …it disappeared. And finally we discovered that by leaving a sock in an alley it created some kind of anti –vortex that spat something (e.g jhon lesliy) from the black hole. *puts pointer away and straitens beard* hey hey, I gotta hot date tonight with the women that cleans the bogs, what d’ya think of my after-sha… is this thing still on?!”
Thank you for watching Open University: world sock exchange. For more information go to teletext page 666. Please hand in you papers to the teacher on the way out…
Today we shall be talking about socks. But not just any sock subject, the “universal national reaction enthusiasts astrological location (unreal)” theory.
Now I’m sure all of you have lost an odd sock at one point in your life, *patronizing laugh* I know I have. Over the past few years the amount of socks have been decreasing rapidly throwing the world sock exchange into turmoil. This is due to tiny black holes appearing and sucking them up. Black holes are basically heavy pieces of dark-matter that eats everything near them (like a miniature Lisa rilea) including light. Normally they’re harmless (unlike Lisa rilea) but under the right conditions they can appear out of dark-matter and suck up small items such as a sock.
First of all we have to get all technical and claim that:
Left sock = x and right sock = y
The thing with x is that it has 2 less neutrons in the nucleus’s of its cells then y, it’s still made of the same elements as y but it’s a tiny bit lighter and highly radioactive. (Write that down)
Using our knowledge of the universe we know that the sun runs around the earth trying to get dark-matter in an honorable game of kiss-chase. (That is why when it is sunny on one side of the world its dark on the other.)
Because y is heavier than x the earth pulls on it harder using gravity so the bonds between the 2 socks become weaker. As night falls the dark-matter covers the side of the earth trying to hide from the sun.
Then x gives off mama (m) radiation that attracts the black holes to it (we believe the black hole enjoys the taste of mama radiation as it is also given off by small children who too disappear at nighttime). So as the bonds between the 2 socks are weakened it sucks the x sock up into a dimension known only as Manchester (if you watch eastenders you will know that no one or thing ever comes back from Manchester).
Experiment 1 : Method - we placed 3 ‘x’ socks in 3 different locations over night and tested the results.
[Sock A] – sock A was placed on the coffee table in the living room of a east London home who’s family were staying the night in a bed and breakfast paid for by the open university. The window was left slightly open so that dark matter could get in. (write that down)
[sock B] – sock B was put in the middle of a blast furnace
[sock C] – sock C was left in a back alley down town
We came by the next day to each location and took results.
Results –
[Sock A] – stepping over the broken glass and muddy foot prints the police told us to avoid we noticed that not only had the sock gone, but so had the table, the TV, the dvd player, the stereo system (in fact everything in value that was in the house)
[sock B] - just as we had hoped, when the furnace was opened the sock had completely vanished leaving only a mysterious pile of ash.
[sock C] – as we entered the alley we found something or should I say someone quite strange. Instead of disappearing the sock had miraculously created inside it a tramp’s left foot connected to the tramp itself.
And now over to a guy who’s never had sex, wears a lab coat to bed and has 12 species of fleas in his foot long dark grey beard.
Science dude – “as you can see *pulls out a extendable pointing stick and slaps it against a graph on the wall* sock A and B have disappeared. You can tell this by the fact that their lines are parallel to the square root of the gradient, also it says it here *pulls out a piece of paper from his beard*. In sock A’s case there was a child resident who lived there which would cause the levels of mama (m) radiation to be higher so it obviously attracted a bigger black hole that ate everything. With sock B we found the typical example of a disappearing sock… …it disappeared. And finally we discovered that by leaving a sock in an alley it created some kind of anti –vortex that spat something (e.g jhon lesliy) from the black hole. *puts pointer away and straitens beard* hey hey, I gotta hot date tonight with the women that cleans the bogs, what d’ya think of my after-sha… is this thing still on?!”
Thank you for watching Open University: world sock exchange. For more information go to teletext page 666. Please hand in you papers to the teacher on the way out…
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Hello and welcome to another Open University educational program. This program has been specially designed and selected for you. Remember to make notes and follow the instructions given in certain parts of the program, your teacher will test you afterwards so no note passing, chatting or general fiddling about under the tables.
Today we shall be talking about socks. But not just any sock subject, the “universal national reaction enthusiasts astrological location (unreal)” theory.
Now I’m sure all of you have lost an odd sock at one point in your life, *patronizing laugh* I know I have. Over the past few years the amount of socks have been decreasing rapidly throwing the world sock exchange into turmoil. This is due to tiny black holes appearing and sucking them up. Black holes are basically heavy pieces of dark-matter that eats everything near them (like a miniature Lisa rilea) including light. Normally they’re harmless (unlike Lisa rilea) but under the right conditions they can appear out of dark-matter and suck up small items such as a sock.
First of all we have to get all technical and claim that:
Left sock = x and right sock = y
The thing with x is that it has 2 less neutrons in the nucleus’s of its cells then y, it’s still made of the same elements as y but it’s a tiny bit lighter and highly radioactive. (Write that down)
Using our knowledge of the universe we know that the sun runs around the earth trying to get dark-matter in an honorable game of kiss-chase. (That is why when it is sunny on one side of the world its dark on the other.)
Because y is heavier than x the earth pulls on it harder using gravity so the bonds between the 2 socks become weaker. As night falls the dark-matter covers the side of the earth trying to hide from the sun.
Then x gives off mama (m) radiation that attracts the black holes to it (we believe the black hole enjoys the taste of mama radiation as it is also given off by small children who too disappear at nighttime). So as the bonds between the 2 socks are weakened it sucks the x sock up into a dimension known only as Manchester (if you watch eastenders you will know that no one or thing ever comes back from Manchester).
Experiment 1 : Method - we placed 3 ‘x’ socks in 3 different locations over night and tested the results.
[Sock A] – sock A was placed on the coffee table in the living room of a east London home who’s family were staying the night in a bed and breakfast paid for by the open university. The window was left slightly open so that dark matter could get in. (write that down)
[sock B] – sock B was put in the middle of a blast furnace
[sock C] – sock C was left in a back alley down town
We came by the next day to each location and took results.
Results –
[Sock A] – stepping over the broken glass and muddy foot prints the police told us to avoid we noticed that not only had the sock gone, but so had the table, the TV, the dvd player, the stereo system (in fact everything in value that was in the house)
[sock B] - just as we had hoped, when the furnace was opened the sock had completely vanished leaving only a mysterious pile of ash.
[sock C] – as we entered the alley we found something or should I say someone quite strange. Instead of disappearing the sock had miraculously created inside it a tramp’s left foot connected to the tramp itself.
And now over to a guy who’s never had sex, wears a lab coat to bed and has 12 species of fleas in his foot long dark grey beard.
Science dude – “as you can see *pulls out a extendable pointing stick and slaps it against a graph on the wall* sock A and B have disappeared. You can tell this by the fact that their lines are parallel to the square root of the gradient, also it says it here *pulls out a piece of paper from his beard*. In sock A’s case there was a child resident who lived there which would cause the levels of mama (m) radiation to be higher so it obviously attracted a bigger black hole that ate everything. With sock B we found the typical example of a disappearing sock… …it disappeared. And finally we discovered that by leaving a sock in an alley it created some kind of anti –vortex that spat something (e.g jhon lesliy) from the black hole. *puts pointer away and straitens beard* hey hey, I gotta hot date tonight with the women that cleans the bogs, what d’ya think of my after-sha… is this thing still on?!”
Thank you for watching Open University: world sock exchange. For more information go to teletext page 666. Please hand in you papers to the teacher on the way out…
Today we shall be talking about socks. But not just any sock subject, the “universal national reaction enthusiasts astrological location (unreal)” theory.
Now I’m sure all of you have lost an odd sock at one point in your life, *patronizing laugh* I know I have. Over the past few years the amount of socks have been decreasing rapidly throwing the world sock exchange into turmoil. This is due to tiny black holes appearing and sucking them up. Black holes are basically heavy pieces of dark-matter that eats everything near them (like a miniature Lisa rilea) including light. Normally they’re harmless (unlike Lisa rilea) but under the right conditions they can appear out of dark-matter and suck up small items such as a sock.
First of all we have to get all technical and claim that:
Left sock = x and right sock = y
The thing with x is that it has 2 less neutrons in the nucleus’s of its cells then y, it’s still made of the same elements as y but it’s a tiny bit lighter and highly radioactive. (Write that down)
Using our knowledge of the universe we know that the sun runs around the earth trying to get dark-matter in an honorable game of kiss-chase. (That is why when it is sunny on one side of the world its dark on the other.)
Because y is heavier than x the earth pulls on it harder using gravity so the bonds between the 2 socks become weaker. As night falls the dark-matter covers the side of the earth trying to hide from the sun.
Then x gives off mama (m) radiation that attracts the black holes to it (we believe the black hole enjoys the taste of mama radiation as it is also given off by small children who too disappear at nighttime). So as the bonds between the 2 socks are weakened it sucks the x sock up into a dimension known only as Manchester (if you watch eastenders you will know that no one or thing ever comes back from Manchester).
Experiment 1 : Method - we placed 3 ‘x’ socks in 3 different locations over night and tested the results.
[Sock A] – sock A was placed on the coffee table in the living room of a east London home who’s family were staying the night in a bed and breakfast paid for by the open university. The window was left slightly open so that dark matter could get in. (write that down)
[sock B] – sock B was put in the middle of a blast furnace
[sock C] – sock C was left in a back alley down town
We came by the next day to each location and took results.
Results –
[Sock A] – stepping over the broken glass and muddy foot prints the police told us to avoid we noticed that not only had the sock gone, but so had the table, the TV, the dvd player, the stereo system (in fact everything in value that was in the house)
[sock B] - just as we had hoped, when the furnace was opened the sock had completely vanished leaving only a mysterious pile of ash.
[sock C] – as we entered the alley we found something or should I say someone quite strange. Instead of disappearing the sock had miraculously created inside it a tramp’s left foot connected to the tramp itself.
And now over to a guy who’s never had sex, wears a lab coat to bed and has 12 species of fleas in his foot long dark grey beard.
Science dude – “as you can see *pulls out a extendable pointing stick and slaps it against a graph on the wall* sock A and B have disappeared. You can tell this by the fact that their lines are parallel to the square root of the gradient, also it says it here *pulls out a piece of paper from his beard*. In sock A’s case there was a child resident who lived there which would cause the levels of mama (m) radiation to be higher so it obviously attracted a bigger black hole that ate everything. With sock B we found the typical example of a disappearing sock… …it disappeared. And finally we discovered that by leaving a sock in an alley it created some kind of anti –vortex that spat something (e.g jhon lesliy) from the black hole. *puts pointer away and straitens beard* hey hey, I gotta hot date tonight with the women that cleans the bogs, what d’ya think of my after-sha… is this thing still on?!”
Thank you for watching Open University: world sock exchange. For more information go to teletext page 666. Please hand in you papers to the teacher on the way out…