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Once upon a time, in a fairy tale land, there lived two Beetroot men: one of high stature - Uriah Gellop , and one of low - Omah Loom. The two Beetroot men lived together in The Grey Forest, in their little run down cottage, just by the old bridge, the source of trade for most in the land of Jestry. The couple were the type that followed a set routine each day in the week, every week of the year, and no one, not even the ledgendary King Kessel-Bert , was hopefully going to say otherwise. If this twer to happen though, they would of-course have to obey.
One early morning, the time was right for the two Beetroot men to go for their early afternoon tea, which was usually held near the embankment of the river. This was so that if one of the two were to perchance catch fire in the dry mid-day sun, then they could easily slip into the cool wet water, and cool down with only a small amount of comical smoke. This was one of Uriah's ideas, and one of which he was particularly proud, "One day it'll save a life," Uriah again began to murmur, "You just wait and see," It was strangly enough that at the exact same time as these bemused witterings, Omah burst into flames and began to roll around the floor for several minutes in burning agony.
"Arhhhhhhh!" screamed the now charred Omah "I am burning up," Uriah then began to look enraged at the slow reflexes of his companion, what was wrong with him? Had he not heard the wise councel of his superior just moments before the combustion into flames? Obviously not - thought the quick thinking Beetroot Man, and without further a-doo he began to quote the words that his mother had recited to him as a troublsome boy:-
Uriah my boy if you ever do need,
More wise words than this do heed,
Tie a peice of rope to a faithful steed,
But dont ride off into sinfull greed.
"That counsel is agonisingly useless!" screamed the smoking Omah "Please can you deliver me some practical pointers," finished the Beetroot man. Quicker than a flash, Uriah thought of why they were having their mid-day tea by the lake in the first place, and was just about to tell his burning freind when Omah began to smother the flames on the floor by rolling around. All of a sudden, the two beetroot men stood still in amazement, as they could now see zero flames which had been burning Omah alive just moments before.
"Phew!" Omah began, "I was sure I was a go...." Before he could finish the sentence, he was suddenly hit on the head by a surreal object that was now laying on the floor. Uriah looked at the floor, scanning for the object which had seriously concused his companion. He found it in the form of some strange metal, iron to everything except the naked eye. "I wonder what that is?" queried Uriah to Omah, but of course Omah did not respond.
Well, this of course sent Uriah into a manic frenzy, during which he also bludgeoned his head on the "iron" block. After a few seconds, concussion set in and both Omah and Uriah fell down flat on thier faces in the long, green grass of home, where they died.
Seven years later, a group of young tourists were walking down yonder Jersey, when it suddenly occured to the ring leader of the group, a Mr. Juip, that they should make the most of thier outing by going for a little swim in a 'Pleasent Lake'. However, the 5 man party, were unaware at this point that this would later kill them all, in a bizarre sequence of events spanning the next 5-minutes. A shame. Oh well.
Anyway, a bobby on the beat, a certain Lt. Colonel Sandrich, was investigating the strange dissappearance of these 5 men. He was looking for clues in the long green grass near lake pleasant when he found what appeared to be a small robin.
"Meep meep meep," said the robin. This striked Lt. Colonel Sanderich as odd for several reasons, including the fact that the robin appeared to be a robin-shaped bear.
"I think he's trying to tell me something, per se," he announced ino his dictophone. Then, suddenly he remembered he'd left a knife in his fork drawer at home and ran off to rectify the problem before Doctor Sanderich, his wife, got home. But as he ran off he tripped up on the iron block, concealed in the long, long grass. Sprawled on the floor, he stuggled to get up but his legs were having none of it. When he finally did scramble to his feet, he got up too fast and all of the blood rushed to his head, causing him to temperaraly black-out and fall down again. When he finally dragged himself home, why, his wife was already there, cooking Cabbage-White for tea. Lt. Colonel Sandrich saw the next few minutes in slow-motion as his wife reached into the fork-drawer.
She saw the knife, and froze. It had always been a slight problem of hers that if she were to perchance see a knife in a fork drawer, she would temporaly go insane, and begin to beat whoever was nearest to her into a bloody slumber. The Colonel knew this, and started to leap into action, and spring out the kitchen door, down the garden path and away. Whilst he was sprinting from his wife, who was now growing increasingly belligerent, he accidently tripped and fell once more on the lump of iron, and cracked is head on a patch of hard grass. Unfortunatley, his enraged wife had not acknowledged the fallen husband, and stumbled upon his already frozen body, with which, she fell over and died.
Now, unbeknownst to the doctor and her husband these events were watched by a small mutant mouse, who was green and was also a king. His name was Barry. Quite shocked and disturbed by these events he commanded his minions to remove the large block of metal from it's dangerously concealed position to a spot on the river bank where it may be seen by man and animal alike and would cause less harm. So, Barry's soldiers all grouped together and lifted the large metal block. Well, Forget-Me-Not, a large methane-breathing goose was strolling through the long, long grass and could see the large metal block moving, as it seemed, by itself. Well this caused Forget-Me-Not to become very scared and ran off at a high speed, during which flight she stood on a large, sleeping quail-man, who promptly died.
Foget-Me-Not was quite upset by the whole experience and chained herself to the radiator, forreasons known best to herself.
Anyway, Barry's minions finished moving the block to the top of the river-bank, where a stork, named Frickle-back used it as a lavotory disenfectant. Of course, everybody knows that a large metallic object cannot really disinfect anything, especially if it has spent the last seven years mouldering in the long, long grass, therefore Frickle-back's lavatory spent the next week to ten days disdisinfected. Naturally this led to Frick-back's lavotry being condemned and he died, so did his son.
The. End.
*runs*
One early morning, the time was right for the two Beetroot men to go for their early afternoon tea, which was usually held near the embankment of the river. This was so that if one of the two were to perchance catch fire in the dry mid-day sun, then they could easily slip into the cool wet water, and cool down with only a small amount of comical smoke. This was one of Uriah's ideas, and one of which he was particularly proud, "One day it'll save a life," Uriah again began to murmur, "You just wait and see," It was strangly enough that at the exact same time as these bemused witterings, Omah burst into flames and began to roll around the floor for several minutes in burning agony.
"Arhhhhhhh!" screamed the now charred Omah "I am burning up," Uriah then began to look enraged at the slow reflexes of his companion, what was wrong with him? Had he not heard the wise councel of his superior just moments before the combustion into flames? Obviously not - thought the quick thinking Beetroot Man, and without further a-doo he began to quote the words that his mother had recited to him as a troublsome boy:-
Uriah my boy if you ever do need,
More wise words than this do heed,
Tie a peice of rope to a faithful steed,
But dont ride off into sinfull greed.
"That counsel is agonisingly useless!" screamed the smoking Omah "Please can you deliver me some practical pointers," finished the Beetroot man. Quicker than a flash, Uriah thought of why they were having their mid-day tea by the lake in the first place, and was just about to tell his burning freind when Omah began to smother the flames on the floor by rolling around. All of a sudden, the two beetroot men stood still in amazement, as they could now see zero flames which had been burning Omah alive just moments before.
"Phew!" Omah began, "I was sure I was a go...." Before he could finish the sentence, he was suddenly hit on the head by a surreal object that was now laying on the floor. Uriah looked at the floor, scanning for the object which had seriously concused his companion. He found it in the form of some strange metal, iron to everything except the naked eye. "I wonder what that is?" queried Uriah to Omah, but of course Omah did not respond.
Well, this of course sent Uriah into a manic frenzy, during which he also bludgeoned his head on the "iron" block. After a few seconds, concussion set in and both Omah and Uriah fell down flat on thier faces in the long, green grass of home, where they died.
Seven years later, a group of young tourists were walking down yonder Jersey, when it suddenly occured to the ring leader of the group, a Mr. Juip, that they should make the most of thier outing by going for a little swim in a 'Pleasent Lake'. However, the 5 man party, were unaware at this point that this would later kill them all, in a bizarre sequence of events spanning the next 5-minutes. A shame. Oh well.
Anyway, a bobby on the beat, a certain Lt. Colonel Sandrich, was investigating the strange dissappearance of these 5 men. He was looking for clues in the long green grass near lake pleasant when he found what appeared to be a small robin.
"Meep meep meep," said the robin. This striked Lt. Colonel Sanderich as odd for several reasons, including the fact that the robin appeared to be a robin-shaped bear.
"I think he's trying to tell me something, per se," he announced ino his dictophone. Then, suddenly he remembered he'd left a knife in his fork drawer at home and ran off to rectify the problem before Doctor Sanderich, his wife, got home. But as he ran off he tripped up on the iron block, concealed in the long, long grass. Sprawled on the floor, he stuggled to get up but his legs were having none of it. When he finally did scramble to his feet, he got up too fast and all of the blood rushed to his head, causing him to temperaraly black-out and fall down again. When he finally dragged himself home, why, his wife was already there, cooking Cabbage-White for tea. Lt. Colonel Sandrich saw the next few minutes in slow-motion as his wife reached into the fork-drawer.
She saw the knife, and froze. It had always been a slight problem of hers that if she were to perchance see a knife in a fork drawer, she would temporaly go insane, and begin to beat whoever was nearest to her into a bloody slumber. The Colonel knew this, and started to leap into action, and spring out the kitchen door, down the garden path and away. Whilst he was sprinting from his wife, who was now growing increasingly belligerent, he accidently tripped and fell once more on the lump of iron, and cracked is head on a patch of hard grass. Unfortunatley, his enraged wife had not acknowledged the fallen husband, and stumbled upon his already frozen body, with which, she fell over and died.
Now, unbeknownst to the doctor and her husband these events were watched by a small mutant mouse, who was green and was also a king. His name was Barry. Quite shocked and disturbed by these events he commanded his minions to remove the large block of metal from it's dangerously concealed position to a spot on the river bank where it may be seen by man and animal alike and would cause less harm. So, Barry's soldiers all grouped together and lifted the large metal block. Well, Forget-Me-Not, a large methane-breathing goose was strolling through the long, long grass and could see the large metal block moving, as it seemed, by itself. Well this caused Forget-Me-Not to become very scared and ran off at a high speed, during which flight she stood on a large, sleeping quail-man, who promptly died.
Foget-Me-Not was quite upset by the whole experience and chained herself to the radiator, forreasons known best to herself.
Anyway, Barry's minions finished moving the block to the top of the river-bank, where a stork, named Frickle-back used it as a lavotory disenfectant. Of course, everybody knows that a large metallic object cannot really disinfect anything, especially if it has spent the last seven years mouldering in the long, long grass, therefore Frickle-back's lavatory spent the next week to ten days disdisinfected. Naturally this led to Frick-back's lavotry being condemned and he died, so did his son.
The. End.
*runs*
The beetroot men!
A hurruliously good story there, mt neB
A hurruliously good story there, mt neB
Once upon a time, in a fairy tale land, there lived two Beetroot men: one of high stature - Uriah Gellop , and one of low - Omah Loom. The two Beetroot men lived together in The Grey Forest, in their little run down cottage, just by the old bridge, the source of trade for most in the land of Jestry. The couple were the type that followed a set routine each day in the week, every week of the year, and no one, not even the ledgendary King Kessel-Bert , was hopefully going to say otherwise. If this twer to happen though, they would of-course have to obey.
One early morning, the time was right for the two Beetroot men to go for their early afternoon tea, which was usually held near the embankment of the river. This was so that if one of the two were to perchance catch fire in the dry mid-day sun, then they could easily slip into the cool wet water, and cool down with only a small amount of comical smoke. This was one of Uriah's ideas, and one of which he was particularly proud, "One day it'll save a life," Uriah again began to murmur, "You just wait and see," It was strangly enough that at the exact same time as these bemused witterings, Omah burst into flames and began to roll around the floor for several minutes in burning agony.
"Arhhhhhhh!" screamed the now charred Omah "I am burning up," Uriah then began to look enraged at the slow reflexes of his companion, what was wrong with him? Had he not heard the wise councel of his superior just moments before the combustion into flames? Obviously not - thought the quick thinking Beetroot Man, and without further a-doo he began to quote the words that his mother had recited to him as a troublsome boy:-
Uriah my boy if you ever do need,
More wise words than this do heed,
Tie a peice of rope to a faithful steed,
But dont ride off into sinfull greed.
"That counsel is agonisingly useless!" screamed the smoking Omah "Please can you deliver me some practical pointers," finished the Beetroot man. Quicker than a flash, Uriah thought of why they were having their mid-day tea by the lake in the first place, and was just about to tell his burning freind when Omah began to smother the flames on the floor by rolling around. All of a sudden, the two beetroot men stood still in amazement, as they could now see zero flames which had been burning Omah alive just moments before.
"Phew!" Omah began, "I was sure I was a go...." Before he could finish the sentence, he was suddenly hit on the head by a surreal object that was now laying on the floor. Uriah looked at the floor, scanning for the object which had seriously concused his companion. He found it in the form of some strange metal, iron to everything except the naked eye. "I wonder what that is?" queried Uriah to Omah, but of course Omah did not respond.
Well, this of course sent Uriah into a manic frenzy, during which he also bludgeoned his head on the "iron" block. After a few seconds, concussion set in and both Omah and Uriah fell down flat on thier faces in the long, green grass of home, where they died.
Seven years later, a group of young tourists were walking down yonder Jersey, when it suddenly occured to the ring leader of the group, a Mr. Juip, that they should make the most of thier outing by going for a little swim in a 'Pleasent Lake'. However, the 5 man party, were unaware at this point that this would later kill them all, in a bizarre sequence of events spanning the next 5-minutes. A shame. Oh well.
Anyway, a bobby on the beat, a certain Lt. Colonel Sandrich, was investigating the strange dissappearance of these 5 men. He was looking for clues in the long green grass near lake pleasant when he found what appeared to be a small robin.
"Meep meep meep," said the robin. This striked Lt. Colonel Sanderich as odd for several reasons, including the fact that the robin appeared to be a robin-shaped bear.
"I think he's trying to tell me something, per se," he announced ino his dictophone. Then, suddenly he remembered he'd left a knife in his fork drawer at home and ran off to rectify the problem before Doctor Sanderich, his wife, got home. But as he ran off he tripped up on the iron block, concealed in the long, long grass. Sprawled on the floor, he stuggled to get up but his legs were having none of it. When he finally did scramble to his feet, he got up too fast and all of the blood rushed to his head, causing him to temperaraly black-out and fall down again. When he finally dragged himself home, why, his wife was already there, cooking Cabbage-White for tea. Lt. Colonel Sandrich saw the next few minutes in slow-motion as his wife reached into the fork-drawer.
She saw the knife, and froze. It had always been a slight problem of hers that if she were to perchance see a knife in a fork drawer, she would temporaly go insane, and begin to beat whoever was nearest to her into a bloody slumber. The Colonel knew this, and started to leap into action, and spring out the kitchen door, down the garden path and away. Whilst he was sprinting from his wife, who was now growing increasingly belligerent, he accidently tripped and fell once more on the lump of iron, and cracked is head on a patch of hard grass. Unfortunatley, his enraged wife had not acknowledged the fallen husband, and stumbled upon his already frozen body, with which, she fell over and died.
Now, unbeknownst to the doctor and her husband these events were watched by a small mutant mouse, who was green and was also a king. His name was Barry. Quite shocked and disturbed by these events he commanded his minions to remove the large block of metal from it's dangerously concealed position to a spot on the river bank where it may be seen by man and animal alike and would cause less harm. So, Barry's soldiers all grouped together and lifted the large metal block. Well, Forget-Me-Not, a large methane-breathing goose was strolling through the long, long grass and could see the large metal block moving, as it seemed, by itself. Well this caused Forget-Me-Not to become very scared and ran off at a high speed, during which flight she stood on a large, sleeping quail-man, who promptly died.
Foget-Me-Not was quite upset by the whole experience and chained herself to the radiator, forreasons known best to herself.
Anyway, Barry's minions finished moving the block to the top of the river-bank, where a stork, named Frickle-back used it as a lavotory disenfectant. Of course, everybody knows that a large metallic object cannot really disinfect anything, especially if it has spent the last seven years mouldering in the long, long grass, therefore Frickle-back's lavatory spent the next week to ten days disdisinfected. Naturally this led to Frick-back's lavotry being condemned and he died, so did his son.
The. End.
*runs*
One early morning, the time was right for the two Beetroot men to go for their early afternoon tea, which was usually held near the embankment of the river. This was so that if one of the two were to perchance catch fire in the dry mid-day sun, then they could easily slip into the cool wet water, and cool down with only a small amount of comical smoke. This was one of Uriah's ideas, and one of which he was particularly proud, "One day it'll save a life," Uriah again began to murmur, "You just wait and see," It was strangly enough that at the exact same time as these bemused witterings, Omah burst into flames and began to roll around the floor for several minutes in burning agony.
"Arhhhhhhh!" screamed the now charred Omah "I am burning up," Uriah then began to look enraged at the slow reflexes of his companion, what was wrong with him? Had he not heard the wise councel of his superior just moments before the combustion into flames? Obviously not - thought the quick thinking Beetroot Man, and without further a-doo he began to quote the words that his mother had recited to him as a troublsome boy:-
Uriah my boy if you ever do need,
More wise words than this do heed,
Tie a peice of rope to a faithful steed,
But dont ride off into sinfull greed.
"That counsel is agonisingly useless!" screamed the smoking Omah "Please can you deliver me some practical pointers," finished the Beetroot man. Quicker than a flash, Uriah thought of why they were having their mid-day tea by the lake in the first place, and was just about to tell his burning freind when Omah began to smother the flames on the floor by rolling around. All of a sudden, the two beetroot men stood still in amazement, as they could now see zero flames which had been burning Omah alive just moments before.
"Phew!" Omah began, "I was sure I was a go...." Before he could finish the sentence, he was suddenly hit on the head by a surreal object that was now laying on the floor. Uriah looked at the floor, scanning for the object which had seriously concused his companion. He found it in the form of some strange metal, iron to everything except the naked eye. "I wonder what that is?" queried Uriah to Omah, but of course Omah did not respond.
Well, this of course sent Uriah into a manic frenzy, during which he also bludgeoned his head on the "iron" block. After a few seconds, concussion set in and both Omah and Uriah fell down flat on thier faces in the long, green grass of home, where they died.
Seven years later, a group of young tourists were walking down yonder Jersey, when it suddenly occured to the ring leader of the group, a Mr. Juip, that they should make the most of thier outing by going for a little swim in a 'Pleasent Lake'. However, the 5 man party, were unaware at this point that this would later kill them all, in a bizarre sequence of events spanning the next 5-minutes. A shame. Oh well.
Anyway, a bobby on the beat, a certain Lt. Colonel Sandrich, was investigating the strange dissappearance of these 5 men. He was looking for clues in the long green grass near lake pleasant when he found what appeared to be a small robin.
"Meep meep meep," said the robin. This striked Lt. Colonel Sanderich as odd for several reasons, including the fact that the robin appeared to be a robin-shaped bear.
"I think he's trying to tell me something, per se," he announced ino his dictophone. Then, suddenly he remembered he'd left a knife in his fork drawer at home and ran off to rectify the problem before Doctor Sanderich, his wife, got home. But as he ran off he tripped up on the iron block, concealed in the long, long grass. Sprawled on the floor, he stuggled to get up but his legs were having none of it. When he finally did scramble to his feet, he got up too fast and all of the blood rushed to his head, causing him to temperaraly black-out and fall down again. When he finally dragged himself home, why, his wife was already there, cooking Cabbage-White for tea. Lt. Colonel Sandrich saw the next few minutes in slow-motion as his wife reached into the fork-drawer.
She saw the knife, and froze. It had always been a slight problem of hers that if she were to perchance see a knife in a fork drawer, she would temporaly go insane, and begin to beat whoever was nearest to her into a bloody slumber. The Colonel knew this, and started to leap into action, and spring out the kitchen door, down the garden path and away. Whilst he was sprinting from his wife, who was now growing increasingly belligerent, he accidently tripped and fell once more on the lump of iron, and cracked is head on a patch of hard grass. Unfortunatley, his enraged wife had not acknowledged the fallen husband, and stumbled upon his already frozen body, with which, she fell over and died.
Now, unbeknownst to the doctor and her husband these events were watched by a small mutant mouse, who was green and was also a king. His name was Barry. Quite shocked and disturbed by these events he commanded his minions to remove the large block of metal from it's dangerously concealed position to a spot on the river bank where it may be seen by man and animal alike and would cause less harm. So, Barry's soldiers all grouped together and lifted the large metal block. Well, Forget-Me-Not, a large methane-breathing goose was strolling through the long, long grass and could see the large metal block moving, as it seemed, by itself. Well this caused Forget-Me-Not to become very scared and ran off at a high speed, during which flight she stood on a large, sleeping quail-man, who promptly died.
Foget-Me-Not was quite upset by the whole experience and chained herself to the radiator, forreasons known best to herself.
Anyway, Barry's minions finished moving the block to the top of the river-bank, where a stork, named Frickle-back used it as a lavotory disenfectant. Of course, everybody knows that a large metallic object cannot really disinfect anything, especially if it has spent the last seven years mouldering in the long, long grass, therefore Frickle-back's lavatory spent the next week to ten days disdisinfected. Naturally this led to Frick-back's lavotry being condemned and he died, so did his son.
The. End.
*runs*