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"Interview with Father Jack Hackett"

Incase you are unaware of the situation, the Republic of Ireland football team is currently without a full-time manager of head coach following the departure of Mick McCarthy who has taken them through so-much in the post-Keane era.
So the FAI (Irish FA) are currently seeking a new replacement - fast.
After David O'Leary said no and seeing that Martin O'Neill is more than happy at Celtic up in Scotland it seems they may be willing to take-on just about any-other Irishman available! Except Roy Keane, of course.

With that in-mind, would it really be so-strange to find no-one-other-than Father Jack Hackett - famous for his cotributions to the Father Ted series on Craggy Island - has applied and went-in for the interview only last week?
Thanks to a bit of training and assistance from the MI:5 I was able to infiltrate the FAI's H.Q. and record the interview all to see.
Unfortunately though, you're gunna have to read it. It's a lot harder than you may think to put recordings onto the net with an old PC.

Enjoy!:


Father Paddy (Hung) O'Verr, the FAI's Chief Executive is the interviewer.>

*BANG BANG BANG*
Paddy O'Verr: "Er.. come-in father."


Father Jack: "HELLO!!"
Paddy: "Ah, top o' the morrow to ye father. Welcome to my office. Please, take a seat."
Father Jack: "YES!"

Paddy: "Now then... First of all I'd like to ask you a few questions, father. Just to see if you are what the Irish FA are looking for in a new manager."
Jack: "YES!!"

Paddy: "Ooookeeey then... First of all, what was your last form of employment like, what was the last job you had, before you came to see me?"
Father Jack: ".....WHAT!!??"
Paddy: "Well, on this job application form you've filled-in that space with the words: 'drInK and giRLs'. So I take it you have worked in, in, in, a bar of somekind?"
Jack: "DRINK!!!"
Paddy: "Ooookeeey, father. I'll get you a drink in a minute."
Father Jack: "BRAN-DEY!!"
Paddy: "Yes, well, dis is Ireland, father. And we here at the FAI would be more-than-happy to give a, er.... 'experienced' man like yourself what you want to feel more at-home."
Jack: "YES!"



Paddy: "Now then, back to the questions...."
"I see it says here that you have been to a lot of football matches to see your local team and home nation play. What is it that interests you most about live football, father?"
Father Jack: "DRINK!!!... GIRLS!!...."
Paddy: "Ah, yes. Dere's noting like a drop of alchohol and some loovely geruls to keep you happy during half-time or when the match gets dull and boring."
Father Jack: "Drink?? DRINK!!??? DRINK, DRINK DRINK!!!!"
Paddy: "Ooookeey father, calm-down now! Your beverage should be here any-minute now..."
*Knock Knock*




Paddy: "Now then father I've got some more questions for you to answer. Dis toyme dey're more football-related."
Jack: "Uuuuuuuurgh..... Fe-*HIC*-off...."
Paddy: "Firstly... What would you do if one the players in your squad decided to go AWOL, or went against something you had told him to do?"
Father Jack: "Errrr...... drrrrrrINK!"
Paddy: "Yes, yes. I agree wid you dere, father. Sitting down and socialising with the boy to conquer the problem togeder would be the best possible solution. Much better than just smacking the boogger or screamin' at him like that old nut-case in that Irish comedy show! Next question...."
"How do you think the Irish football could be improved in general?"
Father Jack"More..... GIRLS!!"
Paddy: "Oh! So I see you're also a fan of the women's football then, father. Yes, perhaps making women's football more well-know would help to make Irish Football a better ting overall."
"What about the Irish mens team as it is. How do you think we could improve our current squad in-order to help us progress even-further then we did this year in future international competitions? By introducing more young players perhaps??"
Father Jack: "AR5E.... nooo....... l.."
Paddy: "Arsenal, father? More fire-power? More Robbie Keane's and Niall Quinn's in the attack?? Oh, or look-out for more Irishman who come from the bigger European clubs - like Arsenal? I like the way your mind works, father!"
"And finally, would you ever consider bringing Roy Keane back?"
Father Jack: "FECK OFF!!!
*SMACK*
DAT WOULD BE AN UNTHINKABLE MATTER!!!!"



<14 minutes later, he awakes...>

Paddy [As he climbs to his feet]: "Oh... hellooo dere father. Taank you fer coming. I tink yer skills wou... would be of a great benefit to us here at the FAI, and to the Irish national team for years to come!"
"You appear to have a great understanding of what is expected from you, and you also seem to have a firm-grip on knowing what you may need to do in de case of certain circumstances."

Paddy: "Well done father, you've got the job!"
Father Jack: "YESSSS!!!!!" [He then grins up towards the sky with the sounds of heaven filling his head.]
Paddy: "I'll start-up a press conference for you next week sometime where you will be inveiled as the Republic of Ireland's successor to Mick McCarty."
"Congratulations father! Here, lets have a drop o' whiskey to celebrate."
Jack: "DRRRINK!!!"

***End of the interview***

Thanks for reading.
What did you think?

Bet you never saw that coming! And you heard it here, first, exclusively!
Can Father Jack really keep the Ireland team going as-strong-as they were in Japan and South Korea?

Incase you are unaware of the situation, the Republic of Ireland football team is currently without a full-time manager of head coach following the departure of Mick McCarthy who has taken them through so-much in the post-Keane era.
So the FAI (Irish FA) are currently seeking a new replacement - fast.
After David O'Leary said no and seeing that Martin O'Neill is more than happy at Celtic up in Scotland it seems they may be willing to take-on just about any-other Irishman available! Except Roy Keane, of course.

With that in-mind, would it really be so-strange to find no-one-other-than Father Jack Hackett - famous for his cotributions to the Father Ted series on Craggy Island - has applied and went-in for the interview only last week?
Thanks to a bit of training and assistance from the MI:5 I was able to infiltrate the FAI's H.Q. and record the interview all to see.
Unfortunately though, you're gunna have to read it. It's a lot harder than you may think to put recordings onto the net with an old PC.

Enjoy!:


Father Paddy (Hung) O'Verr, the FAI's Chief Executive is the interviewer.>

*BANG BANG BANG*
Paddy O'Verr: "Er.. come-in father."


Father Jack: "HELLO!!"
Paddy: "Ah, top o' the morrow to ye father. Welcome to my office. Please, take a seat."
Father Jack: "YES!"

Paddy: "Now then... First of all I'd like to ask you a few questions, father. Just to see if you are what the Irish FA are looking for in a new manager."
Jack: "YES!!"

Paddy: "Ooookeeey then... First of all, what was your last form of employment like, what was the last job you had, before you came to see me?"
Father Jack: ".....WHAT!!??"
Paddy: "Well, on this job application form you've filled-in that space with the words: 'drInK and giRLs'. So I take it you have worked in, in, in, a bar of somekind?"
Jack: "DRINK!!!"
Paddy: "Ooookeeey, father. I'll get you a drink in a minute."
Father Jack: "BRAN-DEY!!"
Paddy: "Yes, well, dis is Ireland, father. And we here at the FAI would be more-than-happy to give a, er.... 'experienced' man like yourself what you want to feel more at-home."
Jack: "YES!"



Paddy: "Now then, back to the questions...."
"I see it says here that you have been to a lot of football matches to see your local team and home nation play. What is it that interests you most about live football, father?"
Father Jack: "DRINK!!!... GIRLS!!...."
Paddy: "Ah, yes. Dere's noting like a drop of alchohol and some loovely geruls to keep you happy during half-time or when the match gets dull and boring."
Father Jack: "Drink?? DRINK!!??? DRINK, DRINK DRINK!!!!"
Paddy: "Ooookeey father, calm-down now! Your beverage should be here any-minute now..."
*Knock Knock*




Paddy: "Now then father I've got some more questions for you to answer. Dis toyme dey're more football-related."
Jack: "Uuuuuuuurgh..... Fe-*HIC*-off...."
Paddy: "Firstly... What would you do if one the players in your squad decided to go AWOL, or went against something you had told him to do?"
Father Jack: "Errrr...... drrrrrrINK!"
Paddy: "Yes, yes. I agree wid you dere, father. Sitting down and socialising with the boy to conquer the problem togeder would be the best possible solution. Much better than just smacking the boogger or screamin' at him like that old nut-case in that Irish comedy show! Next question...."
"How do you think the Irish football could be improved in general?"
Father Jack"More..... GIRLS!!"
Paddy: "Oh! So I see you're also a fan of the women's football then, father. Yes, perhaps making women's football more well-know would help to make Irish Football a better ting overall."
"What about the Irish mens team as it is. How do you think we could improve our current squad in-order to help us progress even-further then we did this year in future international competitions? By introducing more young players perhaps??"
Father Jack: "AR5E.... nooo....... l.."
Paddy: "Arsenal, father? More fire-power? More Robbie Keane's and Niall Quinn's in the attack?? Oh, or look-out for more Irishman who come from the bigger European clubs - like Arsenal? I like the way your mind works, father!"
"And finally, would you ever consider bringing Roy Keane back?"
Father Jack: "FECK OFF!!!
*SMACK*
DAT WOULD BE AN UNTHINKABLE MATTER!!!!"



<14 minutes later, he awakes...>

Paddy [As he climbs to his feet]: "Oh... hellooo dere father. Taank you fer coming. I tink yer skills wou... would be of a great benefit to us here at the FAI, and to the Irish national team for years to come!"
"You appear to have a great understanding of what is expected from you, and you also seem to have a firm-grip on knowing what you may need to do in de case of certain circumstances."

Paddy: "Well done father, you've got the job!"
Father Jack: "YESSSS!!!!!" [He then grins up towards the sky with the sounds of heaven filling his head.]
Paddy: "I'll start-up a press conference for you next week sometime where you will be inveiled as the Republic of Ireland's successor to Mick McCarty."
"Congratulations father! Here, lets have a drop o' whiskey to celebrate."
Jack: "DRRRINK!!!"

***End of the interview***

Thanks for reading.
What did you think?

Bet you never saw that coming! And you heard it here, first, exclusively!
Can Father Jack really keep the Ireland team going as-strong-as they were in Japan and South Korea?