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"Soaps - my alternative"

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Wed 06/11/02 at 21:27
Regular
Posts: 787
Half the country seems to be hooked on soaps (or more correctly soap operas, I know some of you would make a cleaning products gag) and all of us have seen them from time to time. Mostly they are nothing more than bad acters regurgitating awful scripts from the mouths of wooden characters, and when the plot isn't sleep-enducingly boring it's ludicrously unrealistic.

So here's my alternative - buy a telescope! You want realism? You got it! You can't get more realistic than life. Keep track on any or all of the plots going on at any time of the day or night - no pesky TV schedules to spoil it for you. Watch it when you want.

Some of those "water cooler" moments seem even more intense when you shouldn't really be wacthing. But hell - it's your house, what can they do?

Suggest it to a bunch of (local) friends and then have a reet good natter about it afterwards. After all, seeing things from different angles can never be a bad idea *cough*. Every view is unique, so charge people entry fees to your house if you get a particularly good spot.

You can also incorporate other genres of TV if you like. Watch Banzai? Simply wait till that-couple-across-the-street split up, then draw up some odds and bet on how long it'll take her to admit it when you see her the next day! The winner gets exclusive rights to the viewing for two days. You can do many others, including Builders From Hell, What Not to Wear, and of course, Big Brother. Although The Bill might be a bad idea...

If you really get into it you might find it helpful to invest in a directional microphone - a la Metal Gear Solid 2. Want to keep that aura of mystery? Then don't bother! You can lip read anyway...

You could get interactive by sneaking into a house when they're out and carefully placing a certain item. Then sit back and watch them react! Here's some ideas - lipstick stained phone number in a husband's underwear drawer, bring an old lady's washing in and take her cat food (out of the bowl), turn the TV around so it's facing the wall, and the classic t*rd on the rug routine (both meanings of the word "rug").


So there you have it. No more complaining about soaps from now on, because now we have the comprehensive guide on how to do it yourself. And in the long run a telescope costs less than a TV license (as if you needed any more convincing).
Fri 08/11/02 at 14:12
Regular
"Remember me?"
Posts: 6,124
LOL @ Gun Nut!!!
Fri 08/11/02 at 14:10
Posts: 0
Hmmmm indeed.
Fri 08/11/02 at 14:08
Regular
"twothousandandtits"
Posts: 11,024
Hmm.
Wed 06/11/02 at 21:27
Regular
"twothousandandtits"
Posts: 11,024
Half the country seems to be hooked on soaps (or more correctly soap operas, I know some of you would make a cleaning products gag) and all of us have seen them from time to time. Mostly they are nothing more than bad acters regurgitating awful scripts from the mouths of wooden characters, and when the plot isn't sleep-enducingly boring it's ludicrously unrealistic.

So here's my alternative - buy a telescope! You want realism? You got it! You can't get more realistic than life. Keep track on any or all of the plots going on at any time of the day or night - no pesky TV schedules to spoil it for you. Watch it when you want.

Some of those "water cooler" moments seem even more intense when you shouldn't really be wacthing. But hell - it's your house, what can they do?

Suggest it to a bunch of (local) friends and then have a reet good natter about it afterwards. After all, seeing things from different angles can never be a bad idea *cough*. Every view is unique, so charge people entry fees to your house if you get a particularly good spot.

You can also incorporate other genres of TV if you like. Watch Banzai? Simply wait till that-couple-across-the-street split up, then draw up some odds and bet on how long it'll take her to admit it when you see her the next day! The winner gets exclusive rights to the viewing for two days. You can do many others, including Builders From Hell, What Not to Wear, and of course, Big Brother. Although The Bill might be a bad idea...

If you really get into it you might find it helpful to invest in a directional microphone - a la Metal Gear Solid 2. Want to keep that aura of mystery? Then don't bother! You can lip read anyway...

You could get interactive by sneaking into a house when they're out and carefully placing a certain item. Then sit back and watch them react! Here's some ideas - lipstick stained phone number in a husband's underwear drawer, bring an old lady's washing in and take her cat food (out of the bowl), turn the TV around so it's facing the wall, and the classic t*rd on the rug routine (both meanings of the word "rug").


So there you have it. No more complaining about soaps from now on, because now we have the comprehensive guide on how to do it yourself. And in the long run a telescope costs less than a TV license (as if you needed any more convincing).

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