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Mon 28/10/02 at 18:39
Regular
Posts: 787
In today’s working world millions are spent on movies with top class actors and flashy state of the art special effects. We all have these in our collection but what we have to remember is that there are more movies out there, low budget ones that no one has really heard of and that are so pants they go strait onto video. However there are a few gems out their hidden in the vast bowls of the bargain bin.
Here are a few of my favorite titles that cost less then a second hand pair of shoes…
*Nervous laugh* not that I would know.

The matchrix
After a strange message from an unknown source one swan safety match starts to think there’s more to life than meets the eye. Then in a ‘stroke’ of fate he meets a renegade group who help him to brake out of the box and see the world for what it is, slaves to pink palm monsters with 5 tentacles who use the matches energy to fuel there own existence. Now the group must battle for the existence of they’re homeland in an explosive finale to end all finales. Starring casino leaves as neo-light and that guy who looks like Samuel Jackson as morphine.
‘brilliant’ says badger monthly, ‘5 stars’ says the Birmingham post.

Lord of the onion rings
One onion ring was made, greater than all the others and made of pure evil (and some onion). Years ago the flagitious lord Ronald Macdonald used the ring and waged war in the high street but was defeated after a long advertising battle by Mr. burger who was later crowned king. But alas burger king could not throw the evil ring away and slowly it took its course and drove him mad. On his deathbed the ring left his finger and rolled across the floor to rest under the deep fat fryer. There it lay waiting for years until it was found by a short hairy footed man named Jimbo one day while cleaning up. He then went to collage and the ring was passed down to his brother Rambo. Our story starts here with Rambo’s impossible task of walking across the restaurant and placing the ring in the bin. Along his way he will meet challenges, allies, foes and empty happy meal boxes.

Saving Ryan’s privates
Munch went the dog, ‘ahhh!’ went Ryan as he fell to the ground. That’s right, Ryan (a World War 2 veteran) got a new job as a postman but on his first day collided with the jaws of a dog and there he lay in pain. Dr. smith (a gollies expert) and his team have the task of traveling across New York to rescue Ryan’s man hood armed only with a collection of needles and a collectors edition of play boy.
‘this modern drama touches the heart and really gets the message across that getting biting in the nuts is no laughing matter’ says Diarrhea digest.

Which Blair Project
In this documentary style film you join the prime minster and his family as they venture into a haunted woods looking for the green party headquarters. All is rosy until night falls and they stray way from the path. Strange things begin to happen, such as sherry’s glow in the dark teeth and Euan being struck down with blurred vision and slurred speech (not to mention the complementary bottle of Champaign going missing). But the real attraction to the film is the fact that every now and then a member of the family disappears mysteriously into the wilderness and just before the event you get to guess which one will go. The scene at the end will differ depending on the score you get.
‘Just like the Osbornes but with more politics and alcohol involved’ says Lincoln express.

Out now at all good (mostly bad) and some back street video stores…
There have been no replies to this thread yet.
Mon 28/10/02 at 18:39
Regular
"always swirling"
Posts: 2,852
In today’s working world millions are spent on movies with top class actors and flashy state of the art special effects. We all have these in our collection but what we have to remember is that there are more movies out there, low budget ones that no one has really heard of and that are so pants they go strait onto video. However there are a few gems out their hidden in the vast bowls of the bargain bin.
Here are a few of my favorite titles that cost less then a second hand pair of shoes…
*Nervous laugh* not that I would know.

The matchrix
After a strange message from an unknown source one swan safety match starts to think there’s more to life than meets the eye. Then in a ‘stroke’ of fate he meets a renegade group who help him to brake out of the box and see the world for what it is, slaves to pink palm monsters with 5 tentacles who use the matches energy to fuel there own existence. Now the group must battle for the existence of they’re homeland in an explosive finale to end all finales. Starring casino leaves as neo-light and that guy who looks like Samuel Jackson as morphine.
‘brilliant’ says badger monthly, ‘5 stars’ says the Birmingham post.

Lord of the onion rings
One onion ring was made, greater than all the others and made of pure evil (and some onion). Years ago the flagitious lord Ronald Macdonald used the ring and waged war in the high street but was defeated after a long advertising battle by Mr. burger who was later crowned king. But alas burger king could not throw the evil ring away and slowly it took its course and drove him mad. On his deathbed the ring left his finger and rolled across the floor to rest under the deep fat fryer. There it lay waiting for years until it was found by a short hairy footed man named Jimbo one day while cleaning up. He then went to collage and the ring was passed down to his brother Rambo. Our story starts here with Rambo’s impossible task of walking across the restaurant and placing the ring in the bin. Along his way he will meet challenges, allies, foes and empty happy meal boxes.

Saving Ryan’s privates
Munch went the dog, ‘ahhh!’ went Ryan as he fell to the ground. That’s right, Ryan (a World War 2 veteran) got a new job as a postman but on his first day collided with the jaws of a dog and there he lay in pain. Dr. smith (a gollies expert) and his team have the task of traveling across New York to rescue Ryan’s man hood armed only with a collection of needles and a collectors edition of play boy.
‘this modern drama touches the heart and really gets the message across that getting biting in the nuts is no laughing matter’ says Diarrhea digest.

Which Blair Project
In this documentary style film you join the prime minster and his family as they venture into a haunted woods looking for the green party headquarters. All is rosy until night falls and they stray way from the path. Strange things begin to happen, such as sherry’s glow in the dark teeth and Euan being struck down with blurred vision and slurred speech (not to mention the complementary bottle of Champaign going missing). But the real attraction to the film is the fact that every now and then a member of the family disappears mysteriously into the wilderness and just before the event you get to guess which one will go. The scene at the end will differ depending on the score you get.
‘Just like the Osbornes but with more politics and alcohol involved’ says Lincoln express.

Out now at all good (mostly bad) and some back street video stores…

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